How to get past the fear of people at the gym?

So, I want to get back into lifting...  I'm overweight, and I run almost everyday... But, I run in the morning when it's dark and no one can see me...  I get anxiety about going to the gym and feeling people looking at me (or what I think they are doing)...  I feel that people make fun of me as I exercise at a gym, sometimes it's me blowing things out of proportion, and I've also heard people make fun of me.  So, I was curious if people have any tips about getting past those gym fears..  and, not just "don't be concerned with what others thing."  Because we all do!

Thanks

Been there.

I don't have the best advice but I can tell you what has worked for me in the past..

If you have a friend who is also dieting, try to get him/her to join you at the gym. I find other people far less intimidating when I'm with a friend.

I think that I used to be really vulnerable and skiddish at the gym. This leaves the door wide open for people to ridicule. It's kind of a log a dog that can sense fear.... I swear people at the gym sense fear, and pounce on it. When I'm with a friend my tensions and fear eases. Plus, I'm less likely to notice if someone does happen to be looking in my direction.

Most of the time it probably is in our heads. But that certainly doesn't make us feel any better, so I understand where you're coming from.

So yeah, see if you can get a partner to join you at the gym. If I cant - and ipod with the music cranked and something else to focus on (like a magazine) helps tremendously. What we dont know cant hurt us - so if you can be distracted by a friend, magazine, or music ... It helps.

here are a few suggestions:

1) First, everyone else at the gym is thinking the same thing you do. It's just like going to a class reunion. Everyone gets so caught up on themselves that they forget that everyone else is thinking the same thing you are.  The worse ones are the ones that don't go. I dragged my wife to her class reunion and it ended up being a life changing event for the better.

2) Go there knowing what you are going to do and focus on your work out.

2) bring an mp3 player and headphones and listen to what you like.

3)  If tough love works for you, try this: It's not death.  There are people in hospitals and that are permanently disabled that would beg for the opportunity you have.  When you go, represent them.

4) Find a material object, such as a charm for a necklace or one of those trendy rubber bracelets.  When you get scared touch the bracelet and think about the handicapped and disabled people that would trade anything to be able to work out at the gym. It works.

One last thing.  when I see someone overweight or awkward, i say good for them. I may stare a little longer, but it's not out of disrespect.

Anyone making a negative comment about someone else at the gym may be able to fix their body but you have something they don't  - character.  Measure yourself by that and you will be a perfect 10. 

You can also find a lot of gyms now that are geared towards people that are not in the greatest shape.  I work at a circuit gym that is coed and while you get an amazing workout you will not see any of the meat heads that are at other gyms, I always say it is becuase we dont have any mirrors on the walls for them to stare at themselves.  There are other gyms to that are geared more toward the average american, rec centers are always a good place to start.

OMG! I had that problem years ago.. When I started to lose weight with the help of a gym.  I didn't see anyone who looked like me in the gym. Everyone was thin and in great shape, and there I was.. This fat BLAH! And everyone was looking at me, and laughing. I went to the gym twice, and a few $$$ dollars went down the drain. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't face those people again. I was very out of shape.. There's a pic of me when I came from the gym in all black and blue in my gallery at my heaviest weight. One of my heaviest weights I must add. Anyway.. That didn't go well.

Then a few years later.. My mom for an X mas gift.. Gave all the kids a gym membership for as long as the gym was open. She promised to pay for the basic, and if you did any thing extra.. Like trainer's and stuff. That came out of your pocket. So I joined the gym. Got my finger print scan, and card, and started to go to this gym. Last year. Everyone was so nice to me.. Well, the trainers was. Because! There was freah fat meat in the builden, and I needed all the work I could get. So I signed on for the trainer's package. Paying the extra cash, and working out with an trainer a few times a week.

Now! These are the things I had to do to get over being in the gym. I had to be better, and push harder than the barbie's on the treadmills.. I wanted all weights and power.. I didn't want those sorry az machines.. I just wanted the weights, and anything hard to do. I didn't want to do the 2 pound weights, and I made sure my trainer understood that.

When I would get on the treadmill. This happen to me only once, and it has never happen to me again. A lot of things has happen to me in the gym, and none of them happen again. Just a one time thing.

One girl told me to stop wasting my trainer's time a go home.. Next to me on the treadmill. Another one told me to... Just give up already. One girl laughed because.. MY az was too big, and I looked like a bear. So, in the locker room.. I cleared the air with a few words.. I will kick your azz, and I don't mind doing it, and you want have to worry about me sitting on you. You have to make sure you go in there with out the fear of being there. I've even had girls come up to me.. WHO are now barbies, and tell me.. I use to be in your shoes.. Keep up the good work.

The thing of it is. YOU have to go in there for you.. NO ONE ELSE but you, and know what you are doing for you, and be there as often as you need to be.. And don't give the barbies, and the ken's what they want. 

I go in there, and I make them look bad.. They are in there little classes, that I've taken over with my zip, zest, and fun.. I've even got the hotest looking trainer's giving me hi five's and telling me job well done. Good comments. 

YOU HAVE TO DO YOU, and DON'T WORRY about everyone else. They don't have to live a day in your shoes.. You do.. 

I wish you good luck, and get in there and do you.

yeah i've gotta say...i'm fairly in shape and when i go along to the gym i can't imagine for one moment ridiculing someone who is overweight.  I mean what kind of pathetic person would? ..

You are there to work out and get healthy like everybodyelse... i always think 'good on them'.... not in a sympathetic way.. just .. 'great! for them! .. i feel this unspoken bond with everyone in the gym.. Like 'here we all are different shapes and sizes, for one goal.. to get healthy!'...

i'm not saying there arn't pathetic people who may think negatively... but for everyone one of them, know there are hundreds of people like me who are too busy worrying about getting through our own workouts and burning off the chocolate cake we ate last night to think too much about other people.

Enjoy your workouts!!

Thankfully, I don not have this problem at my gym because most of the guys coming there are overweight like me ;)

Maybe you should take inspiration from people who are fit. It should help you work harder to get in shape.

Frankly, just do your thing! Don't bother about what other are doing.

lynn, your post almost made me cry.  i can't believe people would even think of saying stuff like that.

Just remember a few things

1- If u feel like u the least fit person in the room, dont worry, many of them started that way... U will climb ur way just need to keep going

2- Even if u are the least person in the room, u still are gaining advantage over other people who arent going to the gym (pretty mush almost everyone).

Just keep going.. i remember when i started running, i wanted to go to the track when there wasnt many people there.. couldnt run 250 meters...  in 6 months i was running 2 miles... 

I started gym now and i feel like im way behind compare to people At the gym but ill just keep going until i change that (thats the only way to change it)

I had always had a fear of the gym and exercise in general.  I never had exercised before, much less lifted a weight.  I was scared.  I was intimidated.  When I 'flipped my switch' and changed my lifestyle, I entered the gym.  I did hire a trainer to show me the proper form and mold me. 

I never let negative thoughts come into my mind...realizing that I was close to 100 lbs when I started at the gym and could barely walk on the treadmill at 2.0, I kept the main focus in my mind that I wanted to be healthier.  I was and still am so focused on my goals that I never realize people are looking at me. 

My suggestion to you is to focus on your own goals and forget everyone and everything else at the gym.  Good luck to you.

Elaine911~ It don't matter where you are at in this world. People have these one track mind. What comes to it comes right out of there mouth, they can't hold fire water. They are going to let it rip. My cousin went to the gym with me once, and she is a lot bigger than I am now. Really... She was 100 pounds heavier than me a few years ago. Anyway. When she walked in. This Barbie just looked her up and down, and she went right back out the door. All because of a look. I had to go grab her and drag her back in there. She wasn't going to sit in my car and make me look the the JaskA that made her upset..  Nope! Now I can't keep her out the gym. She goes late at night when noone is really around.. That works for her, and she has lost a total of 50 pounds. So.. Jenlynn, get in a 24 hour gym if you join.

Like another PR said.. We are in there for the same thing. To get healthy, and to burn some calories as well.

Now.. The barbies say hello, or wave at me. I'm in there bright and early. You have to keep at it. You have nothing to hide, and nothing to prove.. But I had something to prove. I had to prove.. I can do it better than anyone in there.

GET her DONE!

Lynn thanks so much for telling me your experience!  I unfortunetly live in a small town, actually that was just named the fattest and most unhealthy place in the United States (sad huh)...  But, we only have 1 gym.. Thankfully, in February, my college is opening a new recreation center that is going to be so nice!  Thankfully, I know how to lift weights and my way around a gym b/c I haven't been this size my whole life (just most of it)...  I actually lost over 100 pounds when I was in High School.. But, the worst part of that is gaining it all back plus 20 pounds...  I do some lifting at home, but I have a limited number of weights, and like you, I want to use the big ones!!  lol...  Once I start feeling better about myself there, I do get competative like you said and want to out do them....  So, I do look forward to that.  I just wanted to thank you.. and all of you for you kind words!  I'm new to this site, and this really does help!  So, thanks!

Hi ! I just wanted to let youknow that I used to feel the same way. I avoided the gym like the plague. I've lost all the weight now and I enjoy going to the gym, finally! But just so you know, when I go to the gym and I see overweight people there I think that its so great they are there trying to get in shape and I wish I would have done the same when I first started dieting. So get in there and feel good about it! The more comfortable you are there, the more likely you'll make it a regular part of your life.

GIRL! You can do it... I know you can, and you are going to do it. I know you know what BT is... So treat your life style like that. You remember the movie GI Jane.. Didn't Demi Moore have guts and balls in that flim.. I mean really.. She pushed, and that's what we are going to have to do.. Push.. You can do it. Get in there, and be the best damn GI Jane you know you can be..  I still remember that movies as if I watched it for the 100th time yesterday on DISH. You can do it, and you will do it. Get in that gym when you get there, and GET HER DONE.

Whenever I see overweight people at the gym, I always think "well done". What do you think? Most people will think the same as you - in other words they dont pay much attention. How bout setting yourself a goal of going to the gym 10 times. After you have done this you will be used to going and I found it was the initial thought of going that was hard, once I'd done it a few times it was easy.

Original Post by nafl99:

here are a few suggestions:

1) First, everyone else at the gym is thinking the same thing you do. It's just like going to a class reunion. Everyone gets so caught up on themselves that they forget that everyone else is thinking the same thing you are.  The worse ones are the ones that don't go. I dragged my wife to her class reunion and it ended up being a life changing event for the better.

2) Go there knowing what you are going to do and focus on your work out.

2) bring an mp3 player and headphones and listen to what you like.

3)  If tough love works for you, try this: It's not death.  There are people in hospitals and that are permanently disabled that would beg for the opportunity you have.  When you go, represent them.

4) Find a material object, such as a charm for a necklace or one of those trendy rubber bracelets.  When you get scared touch the bracelet and think about the handicapped and disabled people that would trade anything to be able to work out at the gym. It works.

 those are really good suggestions! lol!! I avoided the gym bc of that too... as weird as it sounds I wanted to be thin before going there! lol! All in all I ended up having my bf there with me the first few weeks. THat helped with the weight training bc he trained me one on one, and he's well known in our gym (we go to one of those trendy gyms :P) lol... anyhow it helped and now I just workout on my own or with the girl I train with...

*get an iPod.... they help too...

I heard a quote one time which says: "Just do it afraid".  That's what I have done.  I put on my headphones, and just do it.  I remember that I am not doing this for anyone but myself.  I am making a financial investment, and investing my time in myself.  Just remember that many of those that you think are observing you, felt the same way that you do.  How can you expect different results, if you keep do the same things.  You are trying to do something different healthwise.  Just do it, and you will see the results, and be better for it.  The best to you.  You have many that are out there pulling for you.