in patient vs. out patient for e.d.

so i have been doing this process with a psychiatrist once a week a psycologist twice a week and a nutritionist once a week since july.  i resisted raising my cals above 900-1000 until last week.  i am now going to the number i was asked hopeing it is not too late.

well my dr today said that my team was talking and they think i should go inpatient.

i was wondering some of your opinions.

i have been inpatient twice and had horrible experiences.  both times i got much worse.  i found myself purposefully rebelling bc i wasnt getting one on one attention and i learned new "tricks of the trade".

i work best one on one and am willing to do what i need to do and i am over 18 so it is my decision.

do you think this is too hard for one to do on their own?

i live alone and my family is supportive but they are binge eaters and trigger that side of me.

what is the benefit of going away vs. staying home?  I am kind of against it for myself.  But, I wonder if they are right...

And now I am freaking out about my weigh in tomorrow because I know my weight will make them only stress it more.  But I have weighed much less than this in the past and have been cleared medically.  Am I making excuses?  I don't know..

Going inpatient you are going to have more time to work on yourself and not focus on the rest of the world around you.

If your family is triggering you, it would probably be best to get away from them for a bit while you cover some more ground in your recovery.

The fact that you are wondering kind of makes me think that you are a smart girl and you know that inpatient would be best (if you don't rebel and you work with the system instead of working the system).

I hope the best for you.

Going inpatient is a good indication that you need around the clock are for your symptoms and complications...there are many good programs with a high success rate, but you have to want to get better in order for it to work for you

Remuda Ranch, Renfrew, Laurette, Mirasol, Rogers, and Rader and some programs I would recommend you looking into...good luck!

somersett in new jersey is a great program, u should find out info on it

I have done both inpatient and outpatient. And honestly, you are wasting your time if you really don't want to get better deep down inside of you....I went to inpatient day after day with the mindset of "yeah yeah, whatever..as soon as I get through with this program I can eat what I want, and not eat when I don't want to"..Through that, I wasted a lot of time and money because at that time I didn't want to completely let go of my disorder.

Yeah at inpatient they can feed you, and watch you eat all of your meals and talk you through it and such-- but as soon as you get released its up to you to do it on your own...and with that said..you have to WANT to recover.

I think one of the biggest battles in recovery is wanting to completely let go of your disorder.  I myself am still in the process of gaining my last few pounds and still sometimes find myself wanting to keep parts of my eating disorder..

but i have learned that you can't half way recover-you have to completely let go and do whatever it takes to get better---even if that means weight gain.

Transferring post from duplicate thread:

Original Post by gi-jane:

Your team must be concerned....   You've got your 'one on one' that you say works best and you say you're willing to do what's required but the evidence is that you're not.   You've been resisting, as you put it.   They clearly think it's too tough for you to do this alone.

I think if they're this worried about you, you should be worried as well.   Regardless of what you've weighed in the past.... the longer you carry on in this state the bigger the risks to your life become.   Maybe, now you're older you can more readily accept this and take up the opportunity gratefully and wholeheartedly.... because presumably you'd like to recover?

 

I was in patient almost 3 years ago. I went to WPIC in Pittsburgh, PA. I was there for two months and it was rather stressful. I agree going inpatient can be hard because you do tend to see other girls and guys do their little "tricks" ones you have never even thought of. Another thing is the competition. It's stupid, but when your body weight is so low (please don't take this in offensive) you don't think 100 percent correctly and in your mind you know you have to gain weight, but you secretly don't want to so you see girls there bouncing their feet up and down being the ones to answer the telephone when a call comes in, etc. At least that's how it was when I was in there. We were also not allowed to discuss our meal choices (we got a menu three days in advance to order what we wanted according to our "exchange" cards. which was a diet plan our nutritionist would give each individual person each week. It followed the dietary exchange system.) but, I saw girls in there comparing menus trying to pick the lowest calorie options. It can also be heartbreaking. I saw a little girl in there as young as 6 ot 7 years old in there, I could not believe it, there was also two other young girls in there about 7 or 8 and a 10 year old. There was also a 64 year old woman in there who is was in complete denial, but a  total sweetheart. Just seeing how the age ranges in this disease was so shatterlying depressing.

 

HOWEVER, You know yourself that in your own home you have your own freedom so therefore even if your doctor watches you it isn't as strict and you can easily slip back into your disorder if you wanted to. In an inpatient facility even if you feel like you aren't getting one on one..trust me, dear..they are watching you. You just need a good place to go to. They will be there until they feel your weight is at a healthy limit which can be scary when in this disorder, but also a good thing that at first you may not be thinking is great, but a few years down the road you will be greatful for. You will meet women or men who yes can be rather intimidating with the same problem, but it will feel good to know you are not alone and if you have a problem you have someone there to possibly talk to who understands what you are going through, unlike the people at home. Which brings up another thing eating disorders aren't ever really strictly about food and 9 chances out of 10 something at home was a trigger for you, it doesn't help to stay where you are being triggered. Call this your healthy vacation. I will say it is NOT going to be easy and you have to FIGHT for it, but that's like everything in life. Ultimately you have to choose do I want to be healthy? or be very sickly with damages to my body to be a 00? I think deep in your heart you want to be healthy and with in patient I think you will get the help you need. If you are seeing a counselor now and feel it isnt helping, maybe this place when you are finished would have a better idea of where to send you to better attend your needs. You may relapse, but you don't have to make that so...but if it does happen do not give up and with what you learned in in patient can get you back on track.

 

Good luck, Sweetie. I've been there so I know what you are going through. I am here to talk if you ever need to. You are strong get that help you need. *hugz.