People with eating disorders

I in noway think that people are extremely rude to those that have ED's, yes there are some people that tell it like it is and will not coddle those who have ED's that are not willing to make a committment to recovery. I believe in tough love most of the time.

But I am wondering if people that are a bit older...lets say 30+ with ED's arent as harshly reprimanded as much as the younger ones....(13-22 or so). I kind of feel as people are more sensitive towards those with EDs that are a little bit older.

What do you think?

*I dont have an ED, never had one and I dont think I have once posted in an ED thread - so I am definitely not saying any of this from experience.

Older people tend to try and hide the fact that they have one through embarrassment more than anything they know that at their age they should know better. So their confession to having one is usually more subtle than younger ones who tend to be over the top and trying to justify it to folk "poor me" "it's the worlds fault i have this so feel sorry for me"! I'm not saying that all young ones are like this but the few i have read on here come across that way and it tends to irritate people as this site is not for "oh poor you pat pat" it's "ok so lets fix this together".

Just to point out the majority of people on here have ED's of some description over eating is as much an ED as under eating however for some reason too many don't recognise it as such and i would be brazen enough to suggest it is in fact a much bigger problem.

I understand what you are saying, I notice that too. I think it has to do more with the difference between an adult and a kid. Adults are responsible for their own decisions, whereas kids and teenagers are still minors. It's the same way that if a teenager has a drinking problem, people around him will put more of an effort to persuade him to get help. They would not push an adult as hard because we think, "They are an adult, they should know better. Also, it is not my place to tell them what to do."

But I do know one thing about eating disorders. Child, adult, or teenager, you can shove a feeding tube down a ED sufferer's throat, but you cannot convince them to get better. Only they can.

Original Post by andie-1:

Just to point out the majority of people on here have ED's of some description over eating is as much an ED as under eating however for some reason too many don't recognise it as such and i would be brazen enough to suggest it is in fact a much bigger problem.

I disagree. I do understand that losing weight can be difficult and there is often emotional involvement. Yes, overeating is a real and very big problem and yes, binge eating and compulsive overeating can be classified as eating disorders as much as eating disorders linked to food restriction.

However, just over-eating alone does not make an eating disorder. Eating disorders are mental illnesses and I don't think the majority of people using CC fall into that category.

The younger people tend to be in the early stages of their dieting 'careers', and I certainly think there's no point wasting time beating around the bush.....  What with peer pressure to be thin and all kinds of misinformation on healthy eating etc., they're often very confused about what's 'normal'.  Some respond to reassurances that they are perfectly normal, not overweight, not eating too much.  However, others are much more aggressive, clear candidates for disordered eating and they need hard facts & home truths fast if they're not to get in any deeper.   The older people are usually at the other end of an ED career, often deeply regretting having wasted 10 or 15 years of their life, in very poor health and in the mood to finally get themselves out of it.  

People in that situation of active recovery (whether old or young) always get a more sympathetic response.  Ironically, some are probably the most harsh with young people they can see about to fall into exactly the same traps that they are so regretting.

Original Post by merylwhite1:

However, just over-eating alone does not make an eating disorder. Eating disorders are mental illnesses and I don't think the majority of people using CC fall into that category.

Over eating isn't a life choice for most there is usually some emotional attachment with it.

Original Post by andie-1:

Original Post by merylwhite1:

However, just over-eating alone does not make an eating disorder. Eating disorders are mental illnesses and I don't think the majority of people using CC fall into that category.

Over eating isn't a life choice for most there is usually some emotional attachment with it.

Yes, I pointed that out in my original response. However, an emotional attachment is not the same as a mental illness.

I really think that whether over eating is an eating disorder or not depends on the reasons for it...

If a person over eats because they really like food, because of lack of information on proper food portioning, or lack of understanding of how the body and food actually work together, etc, then no, they do not have an eating disorder.  However, if the person who is over eating is doing so because they have learned to eat when they are sad/mad/emotional/whathaveyou rather than recognizing and dealing with the actual issues, they DO have a type of disordered eating.  That is NOT a healthy relationship with food.  Or people who have decided that they'll never be fit and healthy so why not just go ahead and get really big so they can blame all of their problems on their weight.  I've met people who do that.  Also NOT a healthy relationship with food.  That is FOR SURE a mental issue, probably one that could benefit from therapy.  Where do you draw the line and decide that a certain person's mental issues are mental illness and somebody else's are just emotions? 

Andie is right, you don't have to be starving yourself to have an eating disorder.

Original Post by andie-1:

Original Post by merylwhite1:

However, just over-eating alone does not make an eating disorder. Eating disorders are mental illnesses and I don't think the majority of people using CC fall into that category.

Over eating isn't a life choice for most there is usually some emotional attachment with it.

 I didn't think I was overeating. I cut back a lot from when I was a kid, but when I sat down at looked at it, hidden calories were everywhere. It wasn't emotional, I just had no idea.

One can exhibit signs and symptoms of disordered eating without having an eating disorder.  Truly, only a medical professional can make the diagnosis of an eating disorder by careful evaluation of both the physical and the psychological elements.  Some people assume that they have an eating disorder because they exhibit symptoms when they may very well just have some unhealthy habits or need to be shown the right track to regain their health or be told what the risks are of continuing down the path they've set foot on.  Some truly don't know what they're doing to themselves.

I think for the youngsters that there are many who show signs and symptoms of disordered eating but if the psychological elements are missing sometimes they can be jolted out of it with a reality check.  If a few harsh words will get them thinking about what they're doing to themselves I'm all for it.  For many, a simple disagreement is taken as harsh words...this is yet another potential sign of an eating disorder.  Harsh is not necessarily unkind, bold truth is often the harshest of all.

When I'm thinking about those who are older with disorder eating habits that they've held for many years I'm sure they've already heard all the harsh words from various sources, not to mention the physical and social and emotional consequences.  If I thought a few harsh words would do any good I'd still take the time to restate them.  Frequently the older posters start out stating that they know the consequences of their actions.  If they're not listening to their body punishing them I just don't see how I can get through.

Those who are truly seeking further justification for their disordered eating generally find somewhere else to post.

Original Post by lilsammi23:

Andie is right, you don't have to be starving yourself to have an eating disorder.

I never said you had to be starving yourself to have an eating disorder, in fact I specified binge eating disorders and compulsive overeating as types of ED in my first post (#3).

The fact is that there is a huge continuum of unhealthy eating behaviour and I think only the extreme ends can be classified as eating disorders. Yes defining an eating disorder can be difficult but there is diagnostic criteria specified for almost all EDs. People who simply crash diet or overeat, for example, might have unhealthy eating behaviour but don't have eating disorders.