Why are people on here so mean???!?

I thought we're all on here for basically the same reason: to reach/maintain a healthy weight through diet and exercise and to be ultimately be HAPPY!  Every time I read the forums, there are always people being so mean to other people.  I can't stand it!!  If you don't like the topic being discussed, keep it to yourself and don't comment.  We post these forums for support, advice, and opinions.  I also feel there are nice ways to tell someone that you don't think what they are doing is smart, healthy, etc.  But bashing someone and just being plain mean is never going to help them.  Most of the people that are mean are the same people being mean every time.  And in MY opinion, that can't be healthy.

I just wish that people would be nicer and more encouraging.  So you mean jerks out there, you know who you are...so STOP IT!!! : )

*Thanks for letting me get that out* : )

A (tongue-in-cheek) thought: dieting web site...sugar withdrawal...cranky  :)

Original Post by morrighu:

 You're sucking up the most precious commodity any of us has - time.  

 I agree that an FAQ would be handy for newcomers, but it seems to me it takes less time to move the mouse cursor and navigate away from a topic than to post on how repetitive it is.

And I'm not sure how they're "sucking up" our time - it's not like they're forcing people to answer their question.

Original Post by mollymouser:

Well, I try to be friendly and nice to people.

MOLLY

 Oh, quiet you. You're a sweetheart and everyone knows that. Except your rants are quite frightening at times, hehe. :P

Yeah...some people on here are bitter/overly sensitive/know-it-alls.

That's personally my favorite type of person, so I don't mind.

Of course, being a popular forum is much like a highschool. Freshmen versus.. well, everyone else. Sometimes the freshmen are bitchy, sometimes it's the other kids that are bitchy for no reason.

In my own person opinion, no one should post or speak without good motivation. On a forum like this, where everyone  ;has a common ground (in this case: health and weight) I have to come across someone who does things out of bad motivation, to harm someone else. Buut, even those with good intentions may phrase things differently, and less gently then what's preferred.. Which causes all the misinterpretation of being mean and bitchy for the sake of being mean and bitchy.

Even I find it intimidating to post my own questions these days (since there's a little bit more crankyness going around lately), but I know the responses are in good intention even if they don't come across that way, and I should take notice of their good intention and thank them for it.

In just the same way, those posting should realize the intention of wanting to get better or informed, and maybe trying to inform them in the best way possible. (Which sometimes comes across as the not-so-best-way-possible, but it's the right effort that counts!)

I think I made my point across. :0

Also: Long unnecessary post above. Geez, did I really need to write that much? Gosh I'm a pain in the butt. ;)

Well played.  I used to live in DC as well.  I understand the lost tourist analogy.  But weight loss is much harder than finding the Jefferson Memorial from the White House.  It could be that some folks are not skilled in using research/search engine tools to answer the simple questions.  Or maybe, do you think that these new folks might be reaching out/looking for support early on?  They ask a simple question because what they really want is some validation/motivation for a difficult path they are going down?  Just a thought

 

Jason

" You're sucking up the most precious commodity any of us has - time. "

Thanks for giving me something ridiculous to read today.

 If you're so overly busy, and time is so precious to you, then what the hell are you doing reading the boards in the middle of the day anyway, and clicking on redundant posts? When you come on here, you can expect that you'll be doing none other than wasting time. Seriously. I mean it's not like anyone's asking for your "precious commodity" with a gun to your head.

Redundant posts are annoying, but the precious commodity crap is just funny.

Yeah.. a lot of people on here are really mean and opinionated

The first time I made a post on here, it was about trying to lose weight... and seriously EVERY single reply I got was someone yelling at me that I'm stupid and I deserve to die. And I was like "woah there buddy.. calm down...."

And the thread got deleted .....& a lot of other posts I made got deleted because they think I'm promoting eating disorders.

I mean, really now? You've got to be kidding me. One person made a post asking if it's healthy to eat 700 cals a day worth of junk food, and I replied saying if you were going to only eat 700 cals at least make sure it's of healthy food... and the moderators deleted my post saying I was promoting anorexia! It's like, they WANT me to say "NO you're such a big idiot don't you know you're suppose to eat 1500 cals or else you're gonna rot"

Pretty messed up if you ask me.

Original Post by dcyounts:

I know I can be mean sometimes... so I usually stick to The Lounge.  When it comes to health and fitness, I try to be supportive of people and give them helpful advice.

 Yes we know you do.......and you like to come out with some right smartassery comments  

(laughs, then thwacks him on the back of the head with a spanner!)

I agree with pretty much everything everyone has already said......but, like dcy I tend to stay in the lounge, and too be honest I love it when a thread gets heated, I don't always join in (but have on occasion) BUT! there is a big difference between a healthy heated debate and just down right uncalled for comments.

My advice is if you are going to post something be prepared to get all kinds of comments back.....if you don't think you can cope with it then seriously reconsider starting the thread.....it take all kinds of people to make the world go round and you will meet most of them on here at some point. For every nasty comment made to someone, someone else will jump in and put them in their place.

Anyway take it all with a pinch of salt....that's what most of us do.  I can assure you there are a lot more nice people on here than not so nice.

 

p.s. I am just joking with dcy, he knows that just making sure everyone else does too.

Original Post by mimi_js:
Yeah.. a lot of people on here are really mean and opinionated

The first time I made a post on here, it was about trying to lose weight... and seriously EVERY single reply I got was someone yelling at me that I'm stupid and I deserve to die. And I was like "woah there buddy.. calm down...."

And the thread got deleted .....& a lot of other posts I made got deleted because they think I'm promoting eating disorders.

I mean, really now? You've got to be kidding me. One person made a post asking if it's healthy to eat 700 cals a day worth of junk food, and I replied saying if you were going to only eat 700 cals at least make sure it's of healthy food... and the moderators deleted my post saying I was promoting anorexia! It's like, they WANT me to say "NO you're such a big idiot don't you know you're suppose to eat 1500 cals or else you're gonna rot"

Pretty messed up if you ask me.

a) how convenient that a thread where EVERYONE told you to go die got deleted. I'd like to see it.

b) you really think it's "mean" that we don't want you to tell someone it's okay to only eat 700 calories?... on a HEALTH website... where "1200 is the minimum amount needed for a woman who lies in bed all day" is plastered everywhere? wow.

Original Post by starcrossdlovex:

Original Post by mimi_js:
Yeah.. a lot of people on here are really mean and opinionated

The first time I made a post on here, it was about trying to lose weight... and seriously EVERY single reply I got was someone yelling at me that I'm stupid and I deserve to die. And I was like "woah there buddy.. calm down...."

And the thread got deleted .....& a lot of other posts I made got deleted because they think I'm promoting eating disorders.

I mean, really now? You've got to be kidding me. One person made a post asking if it's healthy to eat 700 cals a day worth of junk food, and I replied saying if you were going to only eat 700 cals at least make sure it's of healthy food... and the moderators deleted my post saying I was promoting anorexia! It's like, they WANT me to say "NO you're such a big idiot don't you know you're suppose to eat 1500 cals or else you're gonna rot"

Pretty messed up if you ask me.

a) how convenient that a thread where EVERYONE told you to go die got deleted. I'd like to see it.

b) you really think it's "mean" that we don't want you to tell someone it's okay to only eat 700 calories?... on a HEALTH website... where "1200 is the minimum amount needed for a woman who lies in bed all day" is plastered everywhere? wow.

 

Are you blind? Did you NOT read the part where I said the post got deleted..

Yeah if you want to see it so much then good luck finding it.

^laughs at how meanness has invaded the thread^

If you wouldn't say it to someone face-to-face, you have no business sending it to a forum.  I think e-balls is an excellent term for something people often have too much of.

If you got time to say something nasty, bitter or sarcastic, you probably had the time to say something meaningful or helpful.  Or better yet, say nothing at all.  It ain't about time.  It's about heart; what's in it or what's not.  If your heart's in it, write on. If the heart ain't in it, keep the keys silent.

I've not had anyone be rude to be personally, but I have seen it in other threads.  Just think of it as either "tough love" and thank the person for their insight and for setting you on the right path.  Or, consider them idiots who don't know what they are talking about and aren't worth listening to and ignore them.  Some people are just mean because they've got nothing better to do or they like drama and are trying to stir up something.  Folks like that aren't worth wasting your time worrying over.    And, certainly don't get into an argument with them.  They thrive on that.  Don't fuel the fire.

no but seriously, I am grumpy when I feel hunger...

or anything else for that matter!!! haha

Original Post by lysistrata:

^laughs at how meanness has invaded the thread^

yeah, me too laughed out loud when I saw that response

but truly it seems like some people post topics out there and then don't really want to hear the feedback that they originally asked for.  It's kind of like the e-equivalent of asking "am I fat?"

Original Post by mollymouser:

Well, I try to be friendly and nice to people.

MOLLY

 This is why you have been elected supreme moderator! :)

I have to say that I've participated in several different types of online forums (under a different name) and I think it is patently unfair to expect new people to know that there have been 5,000 threads already posted on a topic that they are interested in hearing about. Whenever I've been a long time participant in a particular forum, and I run into that same question that I've read a million times, it is such a SIMPLE matter to ignore it and move on to something I find more interesting. 

I think it all depends on how you define mean.  Personally, I agree with some of the other respondents, who said that often a person posts a question and then when they don't hear what they want to hear, they start complaining that people are being mean.  And there are just some topics that set people off, like the Master Cleanse (which is one of my pet peeves).

One other thing.  I don't believe in sugar coating my opinions.  I believe in telling the truth as I understand it and to explain why I think that way.  Some people might consider me blunt, but I don't think that blunt equals mean.

I also believe that there is nothing wrong with spirited debate.  The only limits I place on my speech is that I refrain from personal attacks.  Even if I disagree with a person, I still appreciate when they make a passionate argument as long as they can back up what they say.

I've have noticed some people being mean as well.  My personal opinion is that if you're going to take the time to respond to a post, make it helpful & kind.  DON'T bother if all you're going to do is say, 'there have been a million posts on this already'.  The OP will get the idea if no one responds.  And secondly, if its redundant, WHY read it?  Just skim on past it.  Some people would rather have quick answers than take the time to search for other threads & there are many people here who will take the time to respond to nearly every post.  So why be rude?  KWIM?