Some people...

Today at work, I was pouring this guy's drink.  Now, this guy is a regular and is usually pretty quiet..when he does talk he's usually pretty nice.

But yes, so I was pouring his drink and he just looks at me and goes, "Ugh what's wrong with your skin?!"..and I could tell he was looking at my arm.  I looked down where he was, even though I really didn't have to because I knew what he was talking about.  He then proceeds to grab my sleeve and pull it up my shoulder (so it looked like a tanktop) and show my arms to everyone in the lobby.

I have some scars and stuff on my arms because I break out on my shoulders.  I know, to some people it's gross, but it's not like I can help it.  I'm already super embarrassed about it.  I avoid wearing short sleeve shirts because of it, but I don't have a choice of shirts at work.

I just wonder, why would he ask me that?  If he looked at my face he would see that I just have some acne.  I was shocked and it seriously took a second for my mind to realize this grown man SERIOUSLY said that, and did that, to me.  I just said, "I guess I break out on my shoulders too..." and I walked away.  I was so embarrassed.

I wonder why people do what they do.  Or say what they say...or why they can't just keep their mouths shut sometimes.

I mean, as if a teenage girl doesn't have enough insecurities.

Sorry I just had to complain..it's been a while =P haha

I'd tell him to mind his own damn business.

I'm thinking he seriously overstepped the boundaries -- and should he come back I think a manager ought to talk to him about laying hands on an employee.

I also think that I would have said something to the effect of "if you don't take your hands off me, I will have you charged with assault" -- but I am in my late 40s -- at 18, I would have been simply appalled as you were.

There is absolutely no excuse for his actions -- none whatsoever.

Maybe he was trying (although not successfully) to make conversation with you? Most people would know better than to say something like that, however some people have no tact whatsoever. I would have been just as shocked if he'd said/done that to me though, since it was completely uncalled for.

Actually he interrupted a conversation between him, my coworker, and I to say that =\  It was embarrassing.

I should have 'accidently' spilled his drink on him when he grabbed my sleeve.. I bet acai juice stains something terrible =P

Wow, thats horrible! I used to have terrible skin, I can understand how you must have felt. Why do people think its actually okay to comment on personal things like that? You wouldn't make a comment about someone being overweight so why make a comment about someones skin which they can't help..

Don't worry, people like that will get whats coming to them :P

It sounds like he didn't think at all.  One time I had a huge zit on my face and my dad said "what's on your face?" and that was really embarassing.  What do you think it is!!  People don't think before they talk.  People say stupid stuff all the time.  It sucks, but you have to ignore it and remember that you probably have said something that offended someone once too, like "you look tired" or "when is the baby due" or something like that.

And Karma will drop kick this loser with a huge zit arriving on his butt!  I've been breaking out since I was 15 (I'm almost 29 now.).  I feel your pain!  Slowly, my skin is getting better each year.  My scars have faded, thanks to Neutrogena Anti-Wrinkle/Anti-Blemish and much better drinking/eating habits.

 

The things that people do and say that are absolutely rude are astounding.  Definitely talk to your manager about this.  It is completely inappropriate for a customer to lay a hand on you or your clothing.

I don't really know how to bring it up to my manager..I mean this guy is a regular and everyone that works there seems to like him, so I don't know how they would feel about it or react.

regular or not, he is the one who is in the wrong, I agree you need to tell the manager.

Just tell the manager that you felt uncomfortable by this guy putting his hands on you.  I'm sure the company is not really interested in any sexual harassment suits...  Regardless -- just tell him.  If you don't want him to make a big deal about it, then say that first, "Hey, I don't want this to be a big deal, but you know that customer that always comes in here?  yeah, well the other day, he grabbed my sleeve and pushed it up to my shoulders -- making comments about my acne scars.  It made me a little uncomfortable, and I'd really don't want customers touching me."

You might be surprised by the manager's response (unless he/she is a 17 year old hs kid (sorry...).

I agree with Coach_k. Post #2 "I'm thinking he seriously overstepped the boundaries -- and should he come back I think a manager ought to talk to him about laying hands on an employee.
I also think that I would have said something to the effect of "if you don't take your hands off me, I will have you charged with assault" -- but I am in my late 40s -- at 18, I would have been simply appalled as you were. There is absolutely no excuse for his actions -- none whatsoever."

Hindsight is 20/20. Age causes us to react differently with more experiance. The fact it a customer made you uncomfortable. That alone should cause you caution. That he actually had the nerve to touch you isn't tollerable. Certain behavior isn't acceptable regardless of whether or not their a regular. It may be uncomfortable to talk to with your manager. You may not want to rock the boat. Or make something out of nothing. It's easier to let  embarrassment fade sometimes... but... I think you should talk to your manager about it anyway. Even if only lightly so he/she is aware of the circumstances. Sometimes harmless regulars aren't so harmless. They try to groom people into situations with questions ect. In order to test their physical limits with you.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Mean people and stupid people really suck. What a jerk. Just know that what he did was not the act of a "normal" person. He must have something wrong with him. Maybe he was feeling insecure and just wanted to make himself feel better by belittling others.

people are idiots.  but idiots who touch you, are unacceptable.  pregnant mothers are always getting felt up by strangers, like somehow their stomachs have become public domain.  when I had purple hair, people in elevators would pull on it and say, "oh, I wanted to find out if it was a wig!"

I had terrible, terrible acne all over.  what a misery.  I sympathize with you completely.

Original Post by enchantingimage:
Sometimes harmless regulars aren't so harmless. They try to groom people into situations with questions etc. In order to test their physical limits with you.

yes.

When I use to work as a bartender in NYC, older female customers would always put their hands on me, and sometimes in very inappropriate places.

I didn't say anything because men are supposed to enjoy that from women, men are supposed to appreciate that sort of behavior, it's supposed to make us feel lucky.

But for me, It just creeped me out and made me want to quit my job, which I did.