Why do people do this??

I'm a little confused and I need some input from from everyone.  Since I have been on CC I have responded to two different posts by two different users who stated they wanted someone to have as a support buddy here on CC.  The first one I responded to was my same age, close to the same height, weight and we had similar goals. We emailed back and forth a few times and then outta no where they just stopped!! (now I may sound like a bit of a creeper here but I have seen them on the boards so its not that they have stopped logging in).  The second one responded to the CC twins post a while back, .. I responded and they never sent anything back.  I know it kinda sounds like I am whining but I just can't understand why people do this.  If you are blatently asking for someone to be there for you to help support one another why just blow them off?? And I know it shouldn't but it totally discourages me and somehow I take it kinda of personally! haha. anyway.. I guess my point is I just wish people wouldn't do this and if someone would actually like to actively have someone to communicate with on a regular basis for support in weight loss... then let me know :) also.. has anyone else experienced the same thing I did?
thanks for letting me vent ;)

Original Post by plumpirate:

And I know it shouldn't but it totally discourages me and somehow I take it kinda of personally! haha. )

Why let someone you have never met  ...  do not know  ...  will likely never know  ...  cause you such angst?   Why invest so much in an absolute stranger's opinion or actions ?  Ignore them.  Heck, for that matter, ignore me and my advice too.  Either way  ...  it won't impact me.

Possibly because some people just get all excited about starting a diet (or lifestyle change) but then don't follow through. 

I understand.. not only has that happened to me, but if I ask a question in chat I am ignored as well.  I do not recieve an answer.  5 days later I find my question buried with not a single response.  I am also a chat killer, so I aplogize now if I am the last response to your thread.  I don't know what it is about me. I don't usually even come to chat because of the chilly response I get but every once in a while I venture. 

I have had people, e-mail me, without my going to them first.  They ask questions and I never hear from them again.  I have been a member for about 6 years off and on, and I find myself irritated that I get so little support here when many others get a much warmer welcome.  I make no aplogies for being busy and not being able to chat all day at work.  I am a new attorney and have billing requirements as a result. 

Anyway, I hope this makes you feel better.

Journalling, and reading other people's journals, probably is the biggest way to gain real "friends" and support here on CC.  Posts in threads can get buried pretty easily, and the daily chat moves really quickly - I enjoy it but don't always have time to participate.

I think often people come in to CC needing a pick-me-up.  They get it and move on.  It happens.  Don't let it get to you.

I've felt this way on other websites.  Don't take it personally - people just get busy or maybe they don't have anything to add to what they've already said.   

Awww....I posted a similiar sentiment not too long ago, so I couldn't, in good conscience, read your post and not reply to it.  I also thought that maybe I was a chat killer or that I had offended someone or something and that the Moderator Gods were punishing me for something.  I have since started on my meds again, though, so the paranoia is not as bad. hahaha j/k. 

Seriously, sometimes it's just the way it goes. Like a PP said before, it moves really fast and the posts sometimes get 'buried' quickly and people don't actually see them. 

As far as CC buddies go, I agree with PP that said that sometimes people really start off gung-ho with one another and then it just peters out.  Or maybe they don't want to be as 'accountable'  as they initially thought.  Or sometimes, it's like a regular relationship, where someone seems so cool at first and then it's like they spout off the same crap everyday and they are embarrassed by it - afraid someone may call them on it.... Or maybe that's just me. hahaha.  To be honest, I've worried that my chat buddies may just be bored with my rants/ worries, etc. 

*worrying that now, people are REALLY going to start getting sick of me*

**still compelled to write, though**

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! If those initial chat buddies don't want to hear what you have to say, someone else will.  I'm sure you have lots of good stuff to contribute, so don't stop posting! I say it's really nice that you offer support, regardless! :)

thanks everyone ! I understand not getting responses to post.. but to actual emails that people are asking for .. that seems weird to me! Personally, I like to share whether I am doing well or not..but maybe thats just me.  I'm not really that freaked out about it all .. its just frusurating.

Thanks again to everyone that contributed and keep up the good work

Unfortunately, I can be one of those people.  Most days I'm horribly busy, and it can take me days to get back to someone by email.  If they've taken the time to write a nice, long email to me, I can't justify sending them a two liner, and I usually don't have time to write something more appropriate and thoughtful, as they deserve. Then, on a day like today, somehow I end up with an abundance of time and finally get those long, thoughtful, overdue responses moving. 

So take it from someone who's terrible about communication - it's nothing personal.  Some of us just suck at returning emails and phone calls.  We don't mean to, and we're not trying to ignore you or getting bored with you.  We just suck at correspondence.  I'm sorry you've had to deal with so many of us, but don't let it discourage you from finding more talkative people with more time to write to you.

I have had the same thing, people saying they need a buddy someone to help them through. I get a few emails then nothing, I feel like I am retarded or something!!!

I figure they aren't all that serious and probably fell off the wagon or something :)

I feel like a chat killer sometimes too. Lol. Like man, did I just make this get boring or something? But I think that chat can be very ADD-ish, and people keep coming up with new topics.

I am pretty good at supporting folks in thier journals though, love reading them and writing my own. A couple of days ago, I got one that recieved 21 replys :). WIsh it was a hppay entry, but neways, it kinda makes it more fun to be on here. There are some jerks in chat, and some great folks as well. I don't take it personal, cause they don't know me. But I have also been involved in some pretty interesting debates/ discussions so it is kinda fun.

I agree that journalling is a great way to develop some CC friendships. Also helps if you have something on your profile about you...some pictures, some background, how you feel about stuff, why you are here...gives people a reason to be interested in you and want to communicate.

When I started here I also had a couple of people whop wanted to be weight-loss buddies, emailed a bunch of times then petered out. Email is difficult - you have to want to communicate with that particular person, I can't even keep up with emails to my real long-distance friends nevermind here, so I understand why they drifted. With journalling, you say what you want and you have a bunch of different friends who may or may not respond, depending on the topic or how busy they are, but it's a much more efficient system than trying to keep up an ongoing one-on-one correspondence with a total stranger.