have people gotten meaner on this site?

I have been an avid CC member for almost 3 years and I had not been on in a while so I came on today and posted in a few forums.  I had two posts today and I received rude comments in return on both occassions.  I did not post anything that was controversial or anything.  I was merely looking for peoples opinions on a few topics (1 - my food for the day and 2 - starting yoga and pilates routine)  Both topics i would say are quite harmless.

I am thinking of never posting here again.  What happened to my warm welcoming community?

i have beeen using this site for about a year now and yes i have noticed that some people needed to watch how they say things because alot of people come offf rude even if they are trying to help.

Yes I would agree that does happen.  in both of my cases today one person redeemed themselves and apologized and one person did not even see how what they said could be taken as beating me up.  guess I will have to see what they say to my response.

i certanly dont think its everyone. i know a lot of great people here.

but ill admit most of the time im scared to post. i dont make my own now because i dont want to get blasted...or if im feeling down i dont want some choice words to make it all worse.

i dont know how to fix it...guess its just the way it is :/

It's become a haven for trolls.  It's nice if you've got a little time to kill and want some easy amusement from the contentious and feeble-minded.  But otherwise, it's not really worth the bother.

Oh, and if you haven't noticed ANYTHING can become a controversial topic depending on who responds.  It's like the forums are stocked with characters from the Real World, the way they can pick a fight over everything.

I don't know if folks are meaner now than they used to be...  I am pretty new.  I wouldn't even say they are mean, although I can totally understand how you would take their comments personally. 

I feel like the vibe on some of the forums is tense and there are some people who just love to post to point out what others are doing wrong, and not always in the most helpful or encouraging way.

 

This is why I haven't started any threads.  By the way, I thought your question about Pilates was interesting.

Well I think that I am probably going to be more cautious about starting a thread.  I think that is a bigger population now of people and not as small as it used to be.  people really used to look our for others and get to know people.  I am sure there are definitely trollers out there for sure.

Glad to see that I am not just being overly sensitive to things.  Maybe the nice people are here in this post :)

I wanted to chime in and say don't stop posting! We need to continue having positive people on here to post and to defend those who are being possibly attacked. However, I will say that most of the time when I read an angry response, it's usually because the responder doesn't seem to have properly digested the question/topic. The world could always use more clarification on all subjects. Don't hesitate to defend yourself and (nicely) put people in their place when they are misinterpreting your posts!

Some of the forums are worse than others.  I tend to stick to just a handful.  Sorry people are being rude, maybe they had a rough day or something.

hey dcgirl,

Don't be discouraged.  Nice to see you are still kicking around...I still linger on this site...mostly jsut calorie counting.  Never had much interest on the forums.  But really ingorne the negative response ...life is to short to get worked up over such things. 

peace

Chobe

I probably won't stop posting just because its nice to be involved and start the communication.  i totally agree that sometimes people don't fully absorb the topic or question at hand.  And I know that tone and things always gets lost over post or email and stuff and people totally read things the wrong way...maybe that is what I did.

I've been tempted to stop posting at times (I actually did stop for a couple months!) but I found that I liked the support I got from some people, and I liked getting other peoples' opinions and posting here is a good way to do so!

After coming back things have seemed a little more...mean?  That's not really the right word but I'm having trouble coming up with the right one haha =P

Honestly, when I post, sometimes I just sit with my fingers crossed and hope certain people don't respond.  Some people are just constantly negative and bashing others, or twisting things and being more brutal than they need to be.  I think some people don't realize they can get their point across without bashing!

I also think that, because this is the internet, they feel they don't need to be nice.  It seems to me people forget that there are real people on the other end.

Anyways, keep posting and try not to take those peoples' comments to heart =) It's tough but, I don't think they're going to go away or stop anytime soon!

yeah, I hope you don't stop posting! :) Some people can get cross, but so many others don't. So, I think its worth it. I tend to lurk everywhere but the lounge (XP) I think it is hard to get across meaning online, but the nasty comebacks seem a little hasty.

anyway...Ill always be evil!! *squinty eyes*

I think like anything that you need to be specific and focused in order to get out of it what you put into it.

If your question is unclear or what you're doing is unclear you're going to get people filling in the blanks with their own assumptions that will typically be less flattering to you than the actual facts.   Depending on their mood and the other posts that they've read or responded to that day they may or may not be in the mood to draw the details out of you.

Original Post by zimcassy:

I wanted to chime in and say don't stop posting! We need to continue having positive people on here to post and to defend those who are being possibly attacked. However, I will say that most of the time when I read an angry response, it's usually because the responder doesn't seem to have properly digested the question/topic. The world could always use more clarification on all subjects. Don't hesitate to defend yourself and (nicely) put people in their place when they are misinterpreting your posts!

 Well said!

Okay, I take back what I said.  I read the posts you are referring to and I think you're being too sensitive.  1000 calories isn't enough food and someone saying you need to eat more isn't discouraing.

A lot of posts tend to come across as mean unintentionally.  Don't forget, you're reading this information and have the ability to put your own emotions behind the words.

I've found a lot of my posts tend to come across as rude to others, and more often than not they're just harmless words and statements.  How I speak offline is how I type online, and what's normal in my household is rude to some of the people online.

Just try to keep an open mind with your reading.  You may be putting your own snooty tone to peoples words and not fully realise it.

I think people have been getting quite rude but also people have been getting too sensitive over everything (not talking about you in particular I haven't read the posts you are referring to yet). Its seems like there is either a lot of sassy, negative comments towards people or there are people who are overly defensive and jump on people for a comment when they should just let it go, personally I think its more of the oversensitive problem. I have read some people say that its just TTOM or that they've had a bad day and thats why their comments are mean which I don't find a valid excuse. Its also usually the same few people that make negative comments over and over again. There have been a lot of debates and arguments, which I think is fine unless it starts breaking the forum rules.

Just try not to let things get to you, unless you think they are deliberately trying to hurt or attack you which you should definitely challenge. And try to ask yourself beforehand if they are trying to giving you constructive criticism (some people can just be really blunt with their opinions) or just being an inconsiderate troll.

I'm PMing you because I don't want to get in trouble here!!

i'm mean.

yup i agree that reading posts involves a lot of reading "between the lines" and often misinterpreted.  Try this on for size:  repeat the following sentence, but each time EMPHASIZE the next word

I  didn't rob the bank.

I didn't rob the bank.

I DIDN'T rob the bank.

I didn't ROB the bank.

I didn't rob THE bank.

I didn't rob the BANK.

See how the "meaning" changes?  Reading posts does the same thing - the reader can put an emphasis somewhere the writer didn't intend ... I love reading the posts here in all the different forums ... I think there is a great community here and friends to be had all around ...