How many people react negatively when you tell them you're trying to gain weight?

Over the years, I've learned to be cautious about who I tell about my weight gain program. More often than not I get comments such as, "You don't need to gain weight, you're thin, you should be happy about that." or "Just wait, when you get older your metabolism will slow down and you'll wish you could lose weight."

Comments like this are pretty discouraging. Just this weekend, I was telling my dad I had gained some weight (he understands my desire to gain) and a friend overheard me saying "I've gained some weight". He automatically said "Uh-oh" as if it were a bad thing, and I had to clarify that I was TRYING to gain and was excited about the progress.

It's as if our society has completely forgotten about us naturally thin people who desperately want to add some substance to our bodies. It's all about how to lose weight. I wish I could just come out and say on the cover of every popular women's magazine, "I gained weight and now I'm happy about my new, healthy, fit body!" I'm just so tired of seeing all of the stuff about how to "lose 15 lbs before summer/the holidays etc..." or "New miracle diet melts away the pounds!"

What do you think, can anyone here relate?

I know exactly what ur sayin... i didnt even notice it till now though. its just excepted throughout society i guess.

Oh gosh, i completely know what you're saying. I hate it, I get these comments all the time, like "oh you're so lucky" and "are you trying to make us all jealous?", this is so not helpful when i'm trying to gain weight to feel better about my body and they're basically telling me they want my body as it is now.

media also sucks, everything in magazines, tv, pop up ads, its all about how to lose weight, how to cut calories, miracle foods, "lose 20 lbs by summer!" I see these, and just feel like are they serious? do they want me to dissapear?? Why can't people just be happy with their healthy functioning bodies and focus on more important things like personality, intelligence, compassion...

i'm a guy so I don't get it as bad, but I definetly can relate about the "you'll be sorry when you get older". the metabolism slowing down remark is the most stupid thing ever, and guess what.. that's what my doctor told me when I told him I want to gain weight like 10 years ago! well my metabolism is chugging along as usual without any signs of change, what a dumb ass

Come to think of it, these little quips really took a toll on my attempts and I was SO close to giving up and starting to believe that "i'll gain weight when I get older" (which is a total myth for those who struggle with being underweight). I'm GLAD i didn't listen to any of them because I'm now a proudly recovered guy who used to be scary underweight (but not an ED).

I'm ranting but the lesson is, these people don't know anything about being underweight and will NEVER understand how hard it is to gain, so although it stings when they say crap like that, ya just got to be the better person and ignore it and focus on yourself and your recovery :)

Original Post by tangerine89:

I wish I could just come out and say on the cover of every popular women's magazine, "I gained weight and now I'm happy about my new, healthy, fit body!"

Oh wow would that ever be a great magazine cover!!  I would LOVE to see that spalshed across something like Cosmopolitan magazine.  Society needs to realize that it's not just about losing weight, it's about being healthy, whichever direction you need to move to achieve that.

Unfortunately, even the "lose 15 pounds by summer" articles don't promote being healthy, just losing the lbs.  Sigh!

Tangerine-

It amazes me how your words speak my very thoughts.

I get both extremes.  People thinking eww disgusting and asking if I'm okay or whispering behind my back, and people like "oh I wish I had your legs" and "your lucky to be skinny why would you want to gain."

I think in a society obsessed with the dangers of obesity people don't realize the risks and poor life quality associated with being TOO thin.

totally. But in my case the thing is that strange people tell that.Once a lady said: .aw look! how skinny(but i think she almost said ew..)  its so annoying..

society have changed :Z and thats really sad because, there's still people who wan to be like a stick. the don't realize or think  that we really WANT to gain weight. but they just take it like:'' aw. you're thin. dammmn you. you can eat everything you want'' aarg but that's because all that trashy publicity'' flat belly diet. now click here !.

i'm tired of that too haha.

Another thing I hate seeing, in magazines or on TV, is all of the attention paid to celebrities' weight. They're either too fat or too thin. If someone gains a few pounds to play a particular role in a movie, it becomes a cover story. It's like, get over it already, we all have different body types. There is no one, ideal way to be.

I get a mix. Sadly, because of my age many of the girls my own age go "oh my gosh, why are you gaining weight, you're so pretty and thin!" when I am emaciated. But they think this is normal. No, no, no.

And then people who honestly care or show concern and have been positive and supportive of me gaining for health, like my tutor - no wierd comments, just, "That's brilliant, it's good to see a girl wanting health over a low weight"...

And then the other extreme: "Ugh. You're gross" or people asking me if I'm well or need help with anything. Usually from people my age not in my social circle, had it from a few people while shopping and out and about.

I think that the media is partly responsible for putting out the accepted reading that "thin is in" but not wholly responsible. It is a shame, however, that many institutions don't realise their influence. I too would absolutely love to see "I gained weight, now I'm healthy!" sort of headlines and front page splashes instead of "NEW MIRACLE DIET DURR" pish posh I am used to.

There was one paper I was reading that had "I want to gain weight, how would I go about this?" written in to the paper's health columnist. The columnist had put the right answer in - 2500 calories at least, healthy and varied foods and a good balance of them - but then comments on the article when posted online were like, "EAT TAKEOUT FOR THREE WEEKS!" and it made me so angry.

Better yet, let's go back to the times when a fuller figure was a sign of wealth and health and prosperity... >> Time machine, anyone? Pleaaaase?

Yeah -

102 pounds is not sexy on me.  I have no ass.  I damn near lost my chest.  My legs are as thin as chopsticks.

the only thing on me that's attractive is my stomach; it's the only body part that has tone and muscle.  I <3 my abs, lol.


But like I said, the rest of me is gross, and it's really awkward when the fat chick find out I'm trying to gain weight and says something like, "All I have to do is have a few extra bucks and walk through the frozen food section!  Haha!"

Or like when people find out I'm trying to gain weight and they try to get me to eat a whole pizza, or a whole carton of ice cream (eh-hem, lactose intolerant?) or just a bunch of junk food.  They'll say, "Well gee I wish I had that problem; I could eat out every night!" 

Firstly, who has that kind of money (to eat out every night)?  Secondly, I'm not trying to freaking commit suicide; gaining weight is more than just junk food, and I just want to say, "Oh is that how YOU got fat?" when they're being really obnoxious about it.  People don't understand the reasons for healthy weight gain.  I think of bananas, nuts, healthy oils, avocados, whole grains.  They think ice cream, take out, butter, chips, chocolates...etc.  Ick.  It's gross to me.

I'd have to say that as annoying as it was when people asked me if I had an eating disorder, it had to be more annoying when people pretended I looked nice.  they'd say, "You lost so much weight!  Good job!  You look great."

I knew they were lying; I knew I looked disgusting; emaciated; like a Jew you see in the Holocaust pictures.

It made me feel like they didn't care and were avoiding helping me, even though they knew I had a problem.

I don't know.

Bottom line: I hate the negative weight-gain feedback, too.

When I was at my lowest weight I went back home and saw a lot of girls I used to know (and hated) and they were like 'oooooh my gos, you got so skinny, how did you do that?  Wow!  You're so thin."

My reply: "Yeah, anorexia will do that to a person."

Way to create an awkward silence.

And then wander off cackling......

lol I love you theo!

Original Post by oxymoron00:

Or like when people find out I'm trying to gain weight and they try to get me to eat a whole pizza, or a whole carton of ice cream (eh-hem, lactose intolerant?) or just a bunch of junk food.  They'll say, "Well gee I wish I had that problem; I could eat out every night!" 

Firstly, who has that kind of money (to eat out every night)?  Secondly, I'm not trying to freaking commit suicide; gaining weight is more than just junk food, and I just want to say, "Oh is that how YOU got fat?"

Ahhhhhahahaha this made me lol.  I love that line. :)

when i was at my lowest weight (ED recovering yay!!^^) a schoolmate, whom i have no idea who she is, came up to me and asked if i ate... another time, another stranger grabbed me on my waist and ask people to look... some of the guys in my school said that lifting me would be easier that lifting dumbells><...

when i go for family reunions, they are like:"try some of these... or that... eat more eat more..." "what do you want to eat? i'll pack it for you now..." and i'm like what the hell... 

I'm almost 30 yrs old, 5'4 & 3/4, 115 lbs., and tried to get to 120 lbs most of my twenties. My lowest weight was 99 lbs ten years ago during junior year in college. Everyone assumed I was this anorexic girl because I have a healthy appetite. I think about four years ago, I decided to enjoy my body as much as everyone else was.

All of my siblings, as well as my paternal family are pretty much like me.  People think it's okay to comment or better yet to assume I work out all day long, or assume that I frequently exercise when I never really worked out in my life.

But, to answer your question. Yes. All of my friends (not family, because they understand) mock me when I tell them I'd prefer get on a weight gain regimen or when I say I'd like to start exercising to build my stamina. They look at me and say "Why do you want to exercise", or "poor you, you can't gain weight boo hoo," or "if you exercise you'll disappear, etc." 

People also tend to give horrible advice on how to gain weight, such as eating junk foods, desserts (not my thing), greasy foods, etc.  Don't get me wrong, I love those things, but I am not going to overload on them and have heartburn (past experiences) or cramps due to my lactose intolorance.  I just had to learn to educate people about the mockery, and the hurtful/disrespectful things they say to women who are  naturally thin.  I do look like I run track or might've been a dancer or something. It's okay to assume that, but the hurtful things like assuming I am disordered in some way (drugs, food addiction) are unacceptable. 

Even last year another female called me  toothpick. It took me a long time to stand up to people to tell them, no it's not ok to spew this venom.  The thing I realized about three years ago, was every single one of those people saying things were (are) women who are all obese AND have low self-esteem.  So, the healthy confrontations helped to increase better communication with them and they unanimously said that they never thought it'd be a problem to make fun of a "skinny" person.  I told them to think about if they'd like it if I said in front of groups of people "OMG you gained so much weight," or "you must have a problem with food," or you never work out" or "you look like the michelin man." When you are especially in a crowd of people and being called skeletor, anorexic, drug user, barbie, disappearing act, it hurts. 

What about the people who assume you are going to be mean because you "look like a model." It's interesting about stereotypes. Everyone does it.

fteezy- I am also almost 30 (29) yrs. old and have always been a petite tiny naturally thin woman. I can't believe people actually think it is ok to comment on someone's body....i think that is especially rude when it is a stranger....and I usually try to take it as they are jealous because often when I get comments for being thin from other woman....they say their comments so harsh and mean. It isn't like they say...."you are so lucky to be thin". They say " You need to eat?" or "what size do you wear?" ....like that is really a question you should ask a woman. Everytime I lift something a work....someone always has to say..."that thing is bigger than you" or "are you sure you can lift that?". I hate those comments as if I am weak or something. I am healthy for my size and have muscles. I would never comment on someone else's body...you never know what someone is sensitive about. There is a guy at work who is very short....people often joke about this and he laughs it off....I feel really bad because maybe he is really hurt by this. I know I have laughed off jokes at work before about my petiteness and then have gone home and cryed because of it. I have horrible low-self esteem because if it and hate going anywhere public or to work because I don't want to hear comments.

I am aprox 5'5" and weigh 94 - 100 lbs.  The most I've ever weighed was 108 lbs.  I work as a nurse and burn off tons of calories during the day, and have never had a huge appetite.  Lately I've been trying to gain weight and I'm finding it impossible!  I've been eating extra meals, junk foods that I don't really even like, adding extra stuff into foods like butter or cream, cashews and nuts into lunches, etc.  Still, my weight seems to stay the same. 

I started to tell people in my life for some advice, and I've been getting a lot of negative reactions too.  Just yesterday another woman I work with grabbed me by the shoulders and told me not to try to gain weight because "It will come.  You will get older, get married, have children, go through menopause and the weight will come."  She told me that unless I am anorexic or have health problems I shouldn't try to gain weight.  I told her I get sick all the time because of my weight and she said she would rather have health problems than weight problems.

That's not the first time I've heard that.  Everyone tells me they would love to be as thin as I am, etc.  I can barely find clothes that fit without shopping at teenagers stores, and even then I have to buy size 0 - 1. 

I've been looking online for solutions, and I'm finding it really impossible.  Even this site doesn't have a "gain weight" option.. there is lose weight and maintain weight though.

Anyways, I know I'm just rewording what a bunch of you have already said.. but I'm getting frustrated too.  I feel less womanly with my lack of breasts and hips.  And I'm tired of my patients and their families thinking I'm a student. lol.

I used to hate it when I was trying to gain weight and people would offer to 'give' me some of theirs. 

I was very sick for several years which caused me to lose a lot of weight, i finally got back up to 100lbs and now have been hovering aroudn 95 for over a year. I have tried to gain and every time it goes back down a bit the most i've gottne to is 102.  However, I am finally able to exercise, go to school, not be cold, eat and not be terribly ill, have a healthy heart rate, blood tests are the bes tthey've ever been and phsyically i feel healthy as ever.  But I feel so little and like nothing when I get comments about how small I am. My dad said to me "you don't care about gaining you look anorexic just eat cashews"  I felt so hurt by that.  I told my physician my distress about tryingto gain and some days i eat so much of what I can eat (i have a limited diet of foods becuase of my health condition) I eat so much on some days because im so desperate to be accepte dinto the "normal looking and not tiny skinny girl" image.  It really sucks.  My physician had to reassure me that I had the healthiest test results he's ever seen for a young woman my age and that my stamina and health have been the best ever.  SO comments like my parents saying im still too thin and asking me how much I weigh make me neurotic.  I refuse to weigh myself and go by how my clothes fit and how i physically feel.   If people only knew what words that they think are helping really do.

I got told, a couple years ago, by a co-worker "Just wait until you're 30, then you'll start putting on the weight." Well, I've been 30 for 8 months, and I wish this theory would hurry up and be true!

The most common response to me saying I need more weight, is "Take some of mine!"...even from people who don't seem that heavy, in my opinion.

So far, nobody's really been very rude or negative...usually it's in a teasing/joking manner.


I find it hard to gain, because society is on the "thin is in" mode of thought. I have to eat 2 or 3 times as much as I really should, because everything is fat-free this, and low-carb that. For example, my favorite flavor of lunch meat comes ONLY in 'lite'...so rather than having one slice of meat, I gotta have 3 in order to get near 100 calories from it (it's only 30 calories a slice, and they're actually pretty thick!). My sandwich is bread 140, meat 90, Ranch salad dressing 110 and cheese 100...for a total of 440. But by the time I finish it, and milk, I'm about to explode. Favorite yogurt flavor also is lite/diet, so I always have to have a fruit and crackers or something with it. My poor tummy is only so big!

On a side note, it's actually kind of healthier to be a little 'plump'. Ever seen the renaissance paintings? None of those women are living toothpicks! Having just a bit of extra weight is good for such things as living in colder climates (I'm 80 lbs and constantly freezing, even if the room is at 70f!), helps with pregnancy and giving enough nutrient support to the baby, when you get sick you can usually lose a couple pounds just because you don't feel like eating as much (when I get sick, I always go down below 80, then it takes FOREVER to get it back). Anyway, being too fat or skinny is bad...the perfect body is not exactly slender, but has a bit of padding. At least that's how I see it.