personal trainer - very discouraging introductory session

I joined a gym for the first time in my life recently. Included were 2 free sessions with a personal trainer. The first session went fine; then, yesterday I went back for the second and she really made me feel discouraged.

A little background: I'm 45 years old; 5'8", CW 179, I've lost 33.5 pounds since March '08. I eat 1200-1500 cals per day. Overall my weight loss has averaged about 1.75 pounds per week. I have some back and knee issues that I have to be careful about when I exercise. I went from NO activity (for years and years) to doing cardio about 3 times/week and weights (machines and light dumbbells) about 3x/week.

This trainer told me that I wasn't working out hard enough (again I just started less than 1 month ago), that I was wasting my time during my weight training, and that my cardio was cannibalizing my muscles. She went on to say that my diet was fairly poor. We eat dinner as a family almost everyday, and I do eat very lean breakfasts and lunches so that I can eat "normal" dinners with my family. (I cut back portion size, etc., but eat basically the same meal that I prepare for them). She said I was going to cause my children to have weight issues. We eat tons of lean meat, veggies, salads, fruit, etc - but, we do have the basics: tacos, spaghetti and meat sauce, steak, too. I use low-fat cheese and make other reasonable dietary changes. My children and husband are trim. I told her all this - but she was still so discouraging to me.

Then, of course, she offered me personal training at $65 per hour. Now why would I want to do that after feeling so bad about everything? Isn't a personal trainer supposed to be encouraging?

Sorry for the long post. Would appreciate any advice on my continued work-out/weight loss regimen. (Obviously, I'm not hiring her). Thank-you.

Often a sales person, like this personal trainer that was using a "free"session as a sales call, will uncover a need in order to sell you their services to address this need.

I don't usually reply to journal posts, but I just had to tell you that the personal trainer sounds very extreme to me.  She totally should have congratulated you for all of the things that are WORKING in your life!  Maybe she doesn't understand that when you're a Mom, you can't do the salad thing every night!  If I did that, my husband and kids would be roaming around the kitchen all night looking for more to eat.  Plus, we're not trying to be fashion models here; our eating is supposed to be fun and work with and for our lives!  Sounds like you're doing everything great, you just happened to get assigned a Nazi at the gym.  Just find someone else who really listens to you (ask the manager at the gym) and you'll get advice that you can really use. 

Congrats -

Alison

justamom this is a sales tactic.  Find a REAL trainer.  Here are a few things to think about:

1) Many "trainers" at the gym are not certified health professionals.  Look for someone with an actual health sciences/nutrition/fitness background who is certified through a legitimate (accredited) organization. 

2) Even a fully fit person can injury herself if she does too much exercise too soon.  Go at a reasonable pace.

3) Cardio does not cannibalize your muscles.  If it did that, then why do so many Olympic runners cross train with weights, why are they able to do both and still win the gold medal? 

 

 

My story is very similar to yours except I'm a few years older and my kids are about grown. The situation with the personal trainer would have made me very angry. What trhawley said is probably true but the gym is not a place for a "hard" sell. I would continue working out but I would also inform the manager or owner (if it is a family business) of what was said and how it made you feel. Not only were the trainers words bad for your self esteem but they were also bad for the gyms business. If your concerns were not addressed or things are poorly handled I would look for somewhere else to work out. Best wishes!

Personal trainers are supposed to guide you in the right direction and although i understand thier tactic;s (basically trying to make you think that you won't get anywhere without them) I don't think i would waste time or money training with that trainer again they don't sound very nice.

I've had 2 sessions with my personal trainer and although she had pointed out alot of area's where i need vast improvement she's been able to do this without making me feel bad about what ive been trying to do alone she's simply pointed out mistakes im making and pointing out thier are better ways faster ways of achiving my goals.

There are bound to be things your doing wrong, i know some of the things i thought where the right things ended up bieng the wrong ones in my trainers eye's still she didn't make me feel bad about it, she just explained the right things in a way i could understand.

You've made a huge leap forward by taking a step in the right direction by joining a gym and starting to think about becoming healthy, you really need a trainer who understands you and appreciate the efforts your making and can help you improve your diet and routine in ways that are helpful and without hurting your feelings and making you feel useless ....

Chin up your doing great .... it sounds to me like this trainer lacks the social skills needed for effective coaching.

OM, what an awful experience! I agree that you need to report this to management and then stay as far away as possible from this person!

You sound really smart and so maybe you don't need a trainer at all. You could watch some videos about safe and effective lifting, or ask a friend who has more experience.

I hope you can bounce back from this and take pride in the AMAZING progress you have already made. You go, girl!

While I agree with everyone that your trainer's approach was pretty crappy and you should find a new one; she's probably right about most of what she said.  For your size, you are probably eating too few calories and too little protein so you probably are burning away more muscle than fat when you do cardio.  She's probably also right about the weights as people who have not been taught how to lift weights typically do them wrong (and women especially often lift too light of weights to see results). 

I would find a new trainer as it sounds like you could probably use the one on one guidance, but don't be surprised if the new one tells you the same things, just in a nicer way.  By the way, congrats on your progress so far. 

First of all congratulations on not knocking her flat with a free weight! =)

I will parrot most of the above posters and say talk to the management if you plan to continue at that gym. I would also caution you about trainers who have a "one size fits all" approach to your training. Just as you would not expect a haute couture gown created for you to fit someone else, a personal trainer should be creating a workout/fitness plan that works for you where you are with an eye to the future. If you've already lost weight and have made forward progress, telling you what you aren't doing is counterproductive to your actually continuing to do what you know and adding additional things that will work in your life.

Congratulations on taking control of your health and fitness and to heck with the tactless personal trainer at your gym.

The only reason they give you a 'free' introductory session of ANYTHING is to try to make you feel like you couldn't possibly do it on your own and you 'have' to have them to help you... so take whatever that trainer said to you with a HUGE grain of salt. If your routine is working for you, then keep with it...

1st of all I think you are doing a great job.

2nd - find a new trainer. My 1st trainer was a thin 20 yr old who had no idea what a 30 year old with 4 kids and a very slow metabolism meant. She twisted me up tight the 1st time I met her and the 2nd was worse.

My friend is now my trainer - I went to school with him and he just moved back here from CA. He has a degree in fitness and we talked today about my issues and he gave me very good suggestions to ease into a new life style.

He said not to jump into anything - take it easy

Feel good about yourself that you are taking the steps to be healthy

 Some random things to think about: a personal trainer doesn't necessarily know jack about training, nutrition, physiology, psychology or sales although you really do need all of the above to succeed at the job. A trainer with an NASM, ACSM, ISSA, or ACE certification is generally competent, but if you met with a "club certified" trainer you've met someone who might as well have gotten their certification from a cereal box.

 That said, 99% of people starting out do not need anything very special and personalized in the way of workout plans - you are untrained enough that anything will work to improve your physical shape and unfamiliar enough with your strengths and weaknesses that you have no meaningful way to determine what weak points to work on. That's assuming you're even trained enough to have weak points that are a little more specific than "your entire body is weak" :-P

 A beginner's workout plan is thus designed to take you up to a level of fitness where a generic program starts to be inappropriate - so initially, one size does fit all people with a similar starting point.

 The 1% that do need something special are people with preexisting medical conditions, joint problems, and other issues that require some care when designing programs; and if you are in that group you're better served by seeing a physical therapist with 5 years of education than a personal trainer.

 Cardio does cannibalize your muscle - if you do too much of it. Excessive cardio is extremely catabolic and makes it hard to put on an appreciable amount of muscle - but it's mostly not a concern for the average gym-goer.  Cardio 3xweekly probably doesn't rise to the "excessive" bracket unless you work at 80% of max heart rate for a couple hours at a time; and is somewhat counteracted by strength training anyway. Which is why the general rule for weight loss is that you need about 3 hours of strength training a week, and then as much cardio as you've got the time and inclination to do.

 So theoretically, your workout schedule looks good.

 However.

 Effective strength training uses heavy weights- heavy being relative to you and your current strength level, but since you use the words 'light dumbbells' to describe what you're doing, I suspect that you're insufficiently challenging your muscles. So despite the incompetent presentation, it's likely that the trainer is correct - using too light weights for your current strength development is a monumental waste of your time and effort relative to your goals.

 Light weights/high repetition workouts are a form of cardio, not strength training, and aren't a useful way to spend your time. You'd burn more calories on the treadmill or elliptical, and it's not a sufficient metabolic stimulus to make your body retain muscle in a calorie deficit. So it's entirely possible that the trainer is correct albeit a little harsh about expressing it in her evaluation of your weight training.

 You also probably need more calories and a different nutrient profile and distribution of your daily calories - light breakfast and lunch, heavy dinner is pretty much the opposite of how you should eat for optimum results. Both The Calorie-Count.com Diet and my top pick Sharing Info from My Nutritionist- Slow Weight-Loss/Low Metabolism, Helpful Tips That Work are workable ways to Think Outside the Cereal Box. Don't get me wrong here, what you're doing is obviously working and giving you results, and normally I'd say that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" - but the light breakfast&lunch/heavy dinner eating pattern is statistically associated with failed diets and regaining the lost weight, so for the average person staying with that eating pattern is likely to lead to undesirable results over the long term.

 As Patches says, it's likely that a new trainer will tell you mostly the same things albeit in a nicer way.

 Don't knock niceness though - the abrasive tough coach persona works in the movies because the script says it does. In real life, the trainer who motivates you to push yourself harder because you want to have the better success rate.

Wow - thats so sad!  

You are doing AMAZING!  Well done for sticking with it  so long.  I guess the idea was to make you feel bad about  yourself so you would want to work out harder?... where in actual fact it might do the opposite?   You should lodge a complaint with the  gym.

Most gyms offer free personal training sessions - that are introductory to cover them in case you injure  yourself  - its proves they showed you how the machines work.  Its not really a PT session... unless they sit down and discuss goals and set a plan and stuff like that.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.  I hope it doesn't  sour you from the gym.  Don't let one bad apple turn you off.... 

 

Keep at it!

Firstly really well done!

I am a Personal Trainer and for me the most important thing to remember when a Client first approaches you, is that they are human too and have been on their own journey for a long time before they met me.

You were given poor advice and treated quite disrespectfully. I would suggest that your weight loss success to date is testament to you having a very good understanding of how to go about training.

Do look for a Trainer who is specifically qualified in their fitness profession.

They must be insured and understand and be able to implement 1st aid.

I have been a Trainer now for some 8 years and continually look to update my knowledge.

I have life and professional experience both are essential.

I would suggest asking the Trainer in question a few more specific questions.. how dose the cannibalisation of muscle work exactly? What is bad about that anyway? etc etc.

How long have you been qualified? What are your qualifications? Can I see them?

I expect my Clients to ask me these questions.

The information on this site is comprehensive and correct, a Personal Trainer should taylor your workouts specifically to your long term goals, with finesse and precision.

You are not a machine but a human, you must trust and get on with your Trainer. 

Good luck you are well on your way to further successes.

 

 

 

I am also a trainer and I am sorry that you had such a bad experience. As a trainer my number one goal w/ my clients is to get them feeling good about exercise!  Because, obviously if the person doesn't want to be there, then duh they are not going to lose any weight or get any benefits from it in the first place.  I think some trainers go overboard w/ giving new clients too much to work on at once.  A better approach for most clients is to start w/ one aspect of their lifestyle and work on changing that and then as they progress give them some new goals to focus on.  Some clients can handle more than others and it is up to the trainer to get a read on the client and give that individual person what they need at a pace that they can handle it.

As some other posters said, the info the trainer gave you sounds correct...but her delivery of the message sounds completely tactless.  My experience w/ coworkers and trainers that I know is this: There are some who have exceptional knowledge but no people skills.  There are some that have amazing people skills but very little knowledge.  There are some that have neither and there are those that have both. Try to find yourself one who has both and you probably be a lot more satisfied with your experience.

It sounds like this woman has her own views and her own ways and unless you do as she does then you're wrong. Some people don't realize that we are.... PEOPLE, individuals needing things that work specifically for us. Sometimes you have to take what a lot of trainers who have that mind set say to you. They live naturally "healthy" lives, and exercise nearly daily. Their jobs ARE to work out and be slim. When you work full time or stay at home taking care of kids, you dont have the luxury of extreme physical activity and time to prepare A+ meals. You gotta do what you can do the best you can do and try every little bit you can until you're able to achieve your goals. At the end of the day its your life, not theirs, don't let someone make you feel bad for being a good mother, and enjoying time with your family. What she said to you was just wrong.

Boy oh boy.

I am the manager of a fitness team and I want you to know, if a member complained to me that one of my staff members had talked to them in such a disrespectful, distastefully tactless way they would have been fired on the spot.

Our members are our life blood, and discouraged members quit.  Not our goal at all, so I apologize for your experience.  People like that give the rest of us a bad name. :(

Balance in life is the key.  I never tell my clients to cut out the food and events that make their life enjoyable and that are meaningful to them - I just point out that making smarter choices about said foods would be the smartest approach.  LIke, do you really need to eat bread AND pasta at the same meal?  Can you just have 2 tacos, not 4?  Can you cut back from a quart of soda a day to 1 glass?  See, things like that make a big difference and people don't feel so deprived.

Lastly, one of my specialities is post-rehabilitation.  The first thing that trainer should have done was address your back and knee problems with a postural assessment, corrective flexibility exercises, and core strengthening exercises. 

THAT is what you need and why you are having problems in the areas you are having them.  Short of a traumatic injury, tight muscles and misalignment of the hips is responsible for I'd say at least 70% of the problems people have with their knees and backs.

Again, I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience.  You really should discuss the situation with the fitness manager and request an assessment with a different trainer - one with some sense.

From the OP:

I just want to send a deeply felt THANK-YOU to all of you who took the time to respond. You all offered such great comments. I have gone back, sifted through, and re-read these posts several times. I agree with pretty much everyone. Even those who said the trainer was right - I see your point and appreciate the way you made me look at the issue. For now, I'll be working on doing the best I can with proper eating, weights, machines and cardio (in that order, right?!). When I need more fitness training - I'll be searching out someone other than, hmm, what should I call her. . . how about, "Ms. Negative", to help me.

Thanks again to all of you. I appreciate your time, advice, and encouragement very much.