Pet Peeve - Teenagers who diet when they don't need to

There is something that I wish a lot of teenagers would get through there heads.  A number on a scale or being the skinniest person in your class is not going to make you happy.  If you really think that the most important time of your life is middle school or high school, you need to think again.  By the time you are 26, it all seems to blend into nothing, and none of it matters anymore, you are too busy living your life... adn the people who stay stuck in a high school mentality are the ones you pity.

I have yet to meet an adult male who wants to be with somebody who is a stick figure and has the shape and build of a little girl.  If you have a healthy BMI, you should just concentrate on living your life.  Cause if youre not happy and confident with who you are in the first place, being underweight and looking malnourisehd won't fix that.  Personality counts for a lot, and if you're bitchy and rude you will put people off.

Is being super skinny really worth messing up your metabolism for life?  You also will not finish developing normally either, ever notice how people who are underweight have no breasts and no hips, and there bodies are generally so messed up that they can't get pregnant or have kids without first gaining weight.

In trying to lose weight that you shouldn't you can do heart damage, kidney/liver damage, brain damage, and can cause early osteoporosis (which means your bones get weak adn start disintegrating and you will always be in pain).

Get half a brain and start thinking about the future.

Amen, amen, amen!!

While this site is a useful, helpful, informative tool for those of us needing to loose weight, eat better, and change our lifestyles I see too many people, particularly young girls/women, using this site as a means to starving themselves.  I am so grateful there are good support groups on thie site and weight gaining forums for those who need that.

There are dozens of people on this site I worry about after reading their posts and seeing thay they think they are "fine" eating under 1000 calories/day when their growing bodies need twice that. 

Thank you for bringing this pet peeve to light.  The question is, what are we to do?

Agreed...

agree 100%!!!!!

I may be young...but I have NEVER been one to strive for an unhealthy stick thin image. I have an idea in mind for a goal weight 145...but if I get to 160 or 150 and am happy there...I will stay there...and if I start to lose my curves...I am done. I love my curves...I am "famous" for my curves....My curves are amazing and sexy and I love them! If I start to lose my boobs and my butt (okay a little of my butt can go but I still love it!) or the roundness of my hips I am done...I wouldn't be me without my curves! To all the young girls out there....CURVES ARE BEAUTIFUL! A REAL MAN WILL LOVE YOUR CURVES! Guess what....My Hips don't lie....they tell it like it is...I am curvy, I am Bold, I am beautiful!

Yeah I agree but if you tried to tell me that when i was a teenager i would've laughed in your face.

I can remember when I was young it wasn't so much the being really thin that was important but just the fact that you THOUGHT you were fat. Extra kudos to you if you were actually really thin but grabbed your stomach skin and complained about your rolls. How's that for messed up?

Original Post by cabaret_:

Yeah I agree but if you tried to tell me that when i was a teenager i would've laughed in your face.

I can remember when I was young it wasn't so much the being really thin that was important but just the fact that you THOUGHT you were fat. Extra kudos to you if you were actually really thin but grabbed your stomach skin and complained about your rolls. How's that for messed up?

Ditto.

I have never been overweight. But as a kid my body image was horribly skewed. I struggled with my self image from about the age of 12 to 17, and even fell down the rabbit hole of anorexia for about six months. After that, I got into weight training and eating right and came to accept and even be proud of my body. But I went through a great deal as a kid—my life was full of some pretty major drama from which I had no escape—and my way of dealing with it was to harshly critique my appearance and my schoolwork and largely everything about myself on a daily basis. In that way, I achieved control over something within a world that was beyond my control.

That's the thing: A lot of times the issue isn't skin deep.

Original Post by jlkrawec:

There is something that I wish a lot of teenagers would get through there heads.  A number on a scale...is not going to make you happy. 

 I am 13 and struggling with weight issues. It does certainly feel at times that a number on a scale will make me happy.

But then again, I have had INCREDIBLY low self-esteem even before I got pudgy (Yes, it's true: pudgy). And I am also struggling with a bouquet of mental issues, and I feel sometimes like I can solve all my problems by losing some weight.

And guess what? It worked! I lost 14 lbs in about 5 months. I went down from 156 lbs to 142 lbs over the summer, got myself organized and to school on time every day, I am doing my schoolwork regularly and am studying hard, and yes, the world seems like a better place and I like myself a whole lot more.

I think the weight loss kick-started my boost in self-esteem and I feel happier than I have in 6 years, so don't try to tell me that losing weight won't make you happier just because you're a teenager. Not all teen dieting is evil.

Original Post by daughtry_jovi_girl:

To all the young girls out there....CURVES ARE BEAUTIFUL! A REAL MAN WILL LOVE YOUR CURVES! Guess what....My Hips don't lie....they tell it like it is...I am curvy, I am Bold, I am beautiful!

SO TRUE!!  My husband is totally cool with me dieting since he knows I need to lose weight and get healthier but he says that a sexy woman needs to have some soft parts to "grab onto".  If I had rock hard abs or no thighs/butt, I don't think he'd find me as attractive.  My goal weight is also 150-165 and I plan to ask him when I get there to tell me if I get too skinny.  I want to be healthy (far more important than the scale to me) but curvy too.

"To all the young girls out there....CURVES ARE BEAUTIFUL! A REAL MAN WILL LOVE YOUR CURVES!"

I hate to rain on the parade but I' honestly sick of people saying this.  What about those of us who aren't naturally curvey? I am a 32AA bra size with a small bum, all the extra weight I am carrying seems to just go onto my stomach and thighs. I'll never be a "curvy" girl, if I don't shift these extra pounds I'll just be a fat girl with no cleavage. Is that attractive?

It's disusting how much having large breasts or a "booty" is promoted as "what men want" and people are happy to say "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" but nobody would ever say "Men don't like fatties".

There are two "ideals" in society: The curvey girl with cleavage and an hourglass figure or the super-skinny super model with the chest of a 12 year old boy. I will never be the first one so I feel under constant pressure to conform to the latter. It's still not OK to be chubby with small breasts, "worst of both worlds" so to speak.

I'm not being negative, I'm just saying that before people rattle of the old "real women have curves" saying, have a think about how you would feel if you didn't.

Original Post by member76:

It's disusting how much having large breasts or a "booty" is promoted as "what men want" and people are happy to say "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" but nobody would ever say "Men don't like fatties".

You clearly don't spend enough time in the gutters of the internet. I have seen this fought with much bitterness, and as fiercely by either gender.

Likewise, you quickly get into the whole double standards argument. Real women have curves, but real men are like chiseled marble. Just a fact of biology or useful self-deception? It's not important, because it's not really at issue.

Because, you see, there is no sorting of preference. It doesn't make someone better or worse for likeing their prefered gender one way or the other; it makes them who they are. But...all this is its own argument. Really.

Anyway, yes, I'd really like to reach through the internet and hit some of these teenebopers with a clue stick, possibly seek to stuff them like a fois gras goose. Youth is truly wasted on the young.

Original Post by member76:

"To all the young girls out there....CURVES ARE BEAUTIFUL! A REAL MAN WILL LOVE YOUR CURVES!"

I hate to rain on the parade but I' honestly sick of people saying this.  What about those of us who aren't naturally curvey? I am a 32AA bra size with a small bum, all the extra weight I am carrying seems to just go onto my stomach and thighs. I'll never be a "curvy" girl, if I don't shift these extra pounds I'll just be a fat girl with no cleavage. Is that attractive?

It's disusting how much having large breasts or a "booty" is promoted as "what men want" and people are happy to say "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" but nobody would ever say "Men don't like fatties".

There are two "ideals" in society: The curvey girl with cleavage and an hourglass figure or the super-skinny super model with the chest of a 12 year old boy. I will never be the first one so I feel under constant pressure to conform to the latter. It's still not OK to be chubby with small breasts, "worst of both worlds" so to speak.

I'm not being negative, I'm just saying that before people rattle of the old "real women have curves" saying, have a think about how you would feel if you didn't.

 I did not mean that curves are the only thing that makes a woman beautiful. But from my expierences and looking back at high school I know that so many girls who where devolping as women, getting hips and some boobs and their curves, something that was totally natural as women, even if they didn't have big boobs or a booty, these girls where pratcially starving themselves to get to that stick thin look. I have seen girls who were a size 2 on a "fat" day poke at their newly devolped hips and bitch and complain about how fat they are because they have these big hips....how they looked like they had given birth to 10 kids their hips were so wide.  I have seen girls who were so thin that their ribcage stuck out and their stomach looked concave complain because when they sat down they had "rolls", those were also the girls that had no muscle tone what-so-ever and couldn't even stand up straight.

If there is infact a weight problem, then by all means if it makes them feel better, do something to lose weight, but for the size 2's that can't stand their natural curves...get a clue.

Love your body curves no curves whatever....curves are beautiful but so is a woman who has a more althletic natural body...be proud of your body...it does it amazing things for you!

Original Post by hannahb20:

Original Post by jlkrawec:

There is something that I wish a lot of teenagers would get through there heads.  A number on a scale...is not going to make you happy. 

 I am 13 and struggling with weight issues. It does certainly feel at times that a number on a scale will make me happy.

But then again, I have had INCREDIBLY low self-esteem even before I got pudgy (Yes, it's true: pudgy). And I am also struggling with a bouquet of mental issues, and I feel sometimes like I can solve all my problems by losing some weight.

And guess what? It worked! I lost 14 lbs in about 5 months. I went down from 156 lbs to 142 lbs over the summer, got myself organized and to school on time every day, I am doing my schoolwork regularly and am studying hard, and yes, the world seems like a better place and I like myself a whole lot more.

I think the weight loss kick-started my boost in self-esteem and I feel happier than I have in 6 years, so don't try to tell me that losing weight won't make you happier just because you're a teenager. Not all teen dieting is evil.

 

 

I was once a teen with a eating disorder..and now im an adult with a eating disorder.It's not exactly something you wish to grow with,the disease causes you to torture yourself with food and mirrors.But im sure most of you have read a little about it to know what the signs are.The cause is different for each person im sure..it really pisses me off when i hear terms like "thats just you getting your woman size " or "men love curves" ..

womansize?wtf thats just a nice way to tell sumone its ok if they let themself go because they arew getting older..your hips may spread but the rest of you doesnt have to.

and as for the "men love curves" or the "be proud real women have curves"

that's insulting to REAL WOMEN,we are not here to be pretty for men,they size us up as soon as we walk by them.

Just because im underweight doesnt mean im not a real woman and it certainly doesnt mean i cant attract men..

but fotr those of you bwho onlky care what men think of you ..

i get more wistles and come ons now that im 113 pounds then id ever gotten at 140 ..

 

The 'Real Women Have Curves' fallback makes me unhappy too.

This is often said to women who are overweight, sometimes seriously, as a way to rationalize their fat.  This denial doesn't help anybody get any healthier.

However, some woman naturally have small hips and chests.  So if they aren't curvy, then they aren't women?  Wtf?

When people say this sort of thing, I think it's supposed to be a rebellion againt the stick-thin skeletal look of quite a few models.  However, it pushes towards the plastic-surgeryish, unrealistic look of lingere models and the such.

Saying any one of these makes you a 'real women' is silly. 

You've got better things to do with your time than worry about if men think you're pretty enough.

Original Post by aiming:

The 'Real Women Have Curves' fallback makes me unhappy too.

This is often said to women who are overweight, sometimes seriously, as a way to rationalize their fat.  This denial doesn't help anybody get any healthier.

However, some woman naturally have small hips and chests.  So if they aren't curvy, then they aren't women?  Wtf?

When people say this sort of thing, I think it's supposed to be a rebellion againt the stick-thin skeletal look of quite a few models.  However, it pushes towards the plastic-surgeryish, unrealistic look of lingere models and the such.

Saying any one of these makes you a 'real women' is silly. 

You've got better things to do with your time than worry about if men think you're pretty enough.

It's a method of self-denial. They just want justification for the maintainance of their current state.

I'm a 17 year old who's 5'8 and 148lbs.   With those stats, you could say I don't 'need' to diet. Yet here I am. 

I'm in the same position as member76. I have virtually no chest, a sizable stomach and 'thunder thighs'.  Even though I'm at a healthy weight and size (I'm a UK12, US8) I look a lot larger due to my waist circumference, which due to sport and weight gain is around the 29-30 mark - the danger zone. 

I've had huge problems with my weight in the past, bouncing from being obese to having an eating disorder in the last 5 years.  And I know its sad, and I should get a life, et cetera, but if I was to see 135lbs on the scales again, it would make me happy, at least for those few seconds where I was stood on the scale. 

Just because some of the people on here are a healthy weight but trying to lose a little (not to become underweight, just the lower end of the healthy scale) doesn't mean they don't deserve to be here.  If its not taking over their lives, then I don't see why they shouldn't chose to lose 5-10lbs. 

If they're not trying to become underweight (by the teenage calculation of 'underweight', not the BMI scale, that does not apply to teens) then I don't see the problem. 

 

It's not about what's attractive to the opposite sex--honestly, I don't think the opposite sex can tell if you've gained or lost 5 pounds. That's a difference only you will notice. If you've gained or lost 10 pounds, the guy or girl will probably notice, but he/she will most probably not care. That has been my experience.

I'm almost 5'4 and I weigh about 105-106 lbs at the moment (this is my equilibrium weight). I have weighed as much as 116 pounds and as little as 96 pounds. At my high weight, which I was only at for a month max, I myself felt uncomfortable in my clothes, which motivated me to drop the weight. My guy claimed that he couldn't tell. At my low weight, I was too skinny and I was really distressed with how I was starving myself. But again, my guy didn't really notice the lbs I lost to get down to 95. I was already skinny in his eyes, and just getting more skinny didn't change how I looked to him.

I think people especially teens need to understand this. No one looks at you as closely as you look at yourself. And if you have one roll more or less, no one is going to care. Don't beat yourself up over it. It should not be your motivation to get fit. As long as you look reasonably thin, there is no need to worry about one roll here or there. I'm not talking about being 'fat' or 'curvy' -- I consider myself to be a bit chubby at 105 lbs, but this is chub that I don't care enough about to get rid of. I'm still wearing size 2s...so why sweat the small stuff?

Alicandra, you need to improve body composition, not scale weight.  You could lose weight and look scrawny and "skinny-fat."  What will help you is getting fit and toned, not just getting skinnier.

i agree. does this make me a hypocrite? i first began losing weight when my doctor told me i was basically done growing (as far as height is concerned). and she was right, i've only grown an inch in 2 years. and at that time i was borderline overweight, at the highest possible weight for my height, plus i had terrible eating habits (cringe).

but then a year after getting to a healthy weight i got crazy and sucked into something ridiculous that messed up my metabolism and i'll be the first to admit it was no one's fault but mine. it wasn't to get to an unhealthy weight, but it was in an unhealthy way. and it honestly had nothing to do with attracting guys. it was dumb and selfish and i'm still working on fixing it. i wish more girls would think long and hard about whether they really need to lose weight, because i wouldn't wish this obsessive life on anyone.

but i can't lie, i really am happy (i mean with life, having nothing to do with my weight), but this is just a complicated part of it.
i've probably confused everyone and it sounds like i'm flip-flopping all over the place. but what i really mean to say is, i agree, though i have a bad relationship with my body at times, there are SO MANY things that make me happier than a number on a scale.

I think everybody has a bad relationship with their bodies at different points in their lives.  I'm sure not even the models and starlets that a lot of teenagers idolize are always happy with their bodies.

I do agree with fallinupstairs that young girls need to think a lot more about what really bothering them rather then just deciding to diet.  While there is a lot of them who are overweight and would benefit greatly from learning how to take care of themselves in a healthy manner and watch their weight... there is a significant portion of them who need to learn how to take control of other aspects of their lives. 

Somebody once told me that teenagers are much more likely to have eating disorders when other parts of their lives are in chaos, as their eating is one thing that they can fully control.

so let me get this straight...it's perfectly fine to be stick thin b/c of dieting but to have curves then I am unhealthy. Guess what I am naturally curvy, so do not tell me that because I have curves I am in denial about my weight. Yes some people use the "I'm not fat, I'm curvy" excuse when they truly are overweight, but for those of use who truly are curvy you make it sound like we should be ashamed of our curves. There is a difference between curves and lumps, and I am proud of my curves!