Pet Peeve - Teenagers who diet when they don't need to

There is something that I wish a lot of teenagers would get through there heads.  A number on a scale or being the skinniest person in your class is not going to make you happy.  If you really think that the most important time of your life is middle school or high school, you need to think again.  By the time you are 26, it all seems to blend into nothing, and none of it matters anymore, you are too busy living your life... adn the people who stay stuck in a high school mentality are the ones you pity.

I have yet to meet an adult male who wants to be with somebody who is a stick figure and has the shape and build of a little girl.  If you have a healthy BMI, you should just concentrate on living your life.  Cause if youre not happy and confident with who you are in the first place, being underweight and looking malnourisehd won't fix that.  Personality counts for a lot, and if you're bitchy and rude you will put people off.

Is being super skinny really worth messing up your metabolism for life?  You also will not finish developing normally either, ever notice how people who are underweight have no breasts and no hips, and there bodies are generally so messed up that they can't get pregnant or have kids without first gaining weight.

In trying to lose weight that you shouldn't you can do heart damage, kidney/liver damage, brain damage, and can cause early osteoporosis (which means your bones get weak adn start disintegrating and you will always be in pain).

Get half a brain and start thinking about the future.

I find the whole curves discussion funny because I think many very slender women have fabulous curves. To me, women with curves come in different frame sizes: small, medium, and large. You can be curvaceous even if your frame is tiny and so are you.

Many teenagers, however, have no curves. It isn't uncommon for women to finish developing after the age of 19. I think some kids lose weight in the hope that they'll find curves by doing so. They want the defined waist, for example, that they think is hiding under supposed fat. But in reality they just haven't reached the stage in life where their body has that waspish form.

And again, losing a severe amount of weight is very often indicative of larger issues in a teenager's life. That is something that really needs to be understood.

 

 

Original Post by alevin:

Alicandra, you need to improve body composition, not scale weight.  You could lose weight and look scrawny and "skinny-fat."  What will help you is getting fit and toned, not just getting skinnier.

as much as I wish that I could do this, one of my main ED problems was that I was a compulsive exerciser - 25 hours or more in the gym/on a sports court a week.  I'm on a doctor enforced plan, where I'm not allowed to do more than 8 hours a week (which I absolutely hate), and its pretty hard to get 'fit' on that, when you're body's used to doing thrice that.  

However, I think there are a lot of people who could benefit from this advice, I'm just a special case.  It does make me very sad to see people on here who are 100lbs and 5'4 saying that they're fat,  because their body image is so distorted.  But, personally I believe that if the BMI aim isn't unhealthy, there is no reason why a teen whose BMI is 22-27 shouldn't be allowed to try and lose weight for themselves, even if they don't technically need it.  

Original Post by hannahb20:

 I am 13 and struggling with weight issues. It does certainly feel at times that a number on a scale will make me happy.

But then again, I have had INCREDIBLY low self-esteem even before I got pudgy (Yes, it's true: pudgy). And I am also struggling with a bouquet of mental issues, and I feel sometimes like I can solve all my problems by losing some weight.

And guess what? It worked! I lost 14 lbs in about 5 months. I went down from 156 lbs to 142 lbs over the summer, got myself organized and to school on time every day, I am doing my schoolwork regularly and am studying hard, and yes, the world seems like a better place and I like myself a whole lot more.

I think the weight loss kick-started my boost in self-esteem and I feel happier than I have in 6 years, so don't try to tell me that losing weight won't make you happier just because you're a teenager. Not all teen dieting is evil.

You say we don't "need" to diet.  Who's to decide that?  Isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder anyway?  I'm almost 19 years old, and maybe I'm not who you were aiming this at, but I'm more developed than I'll ever need to be... and more developed than the next five women would ever need to be if you divided my boobs among all six of us.  I'm a 38 C (and I actually think I'm a D now, but who really knows) and I've got some SERIOUS problem areas.

I probably went on my first diet when I was like, 13.  You can hardly say I didn't develop properly - my hips are my main issue!  And I think personality isn't the absolute everything in the world.  You don't walk down the street going, hey, check out the personality on that guy, and guys sure don't say it about us.  You have to get to know someone first, and yes, in many cases, that means first having a physical attraction.

I'm not saying you HAVE to have it.  There are plenty of people out there who probably DID end up in relationships purely for personality, and how great is that?  I bet we'd all take that if we had the chance but some of us just don't.  Y'know, I've never had a boyfriend in my whole life, and I don't think it's because I have a suckish personality.  My girlfriends love me, and I love them.  It's not the same as being in a relationship with a guy, but I figure that time hasn't come yet or maybe I'm just not meant for that life.  Either way the cookie crumbles, I'm going to be happy with who I am.

That being said, I am brought to my next point.  No, if you are not happy with who you are, you are not going to be happy with who you are in a size zero.  I have always known this.  The reason I diet, personally, isn't because I am unhappy with my personality, it is because I look in the mirror and I see a chunky college girl who hasn't been able to buy a cute little dress in years with hips and big arms.  Now you see, that's not who I think of myself as.  Who I see myself as is completely different - smart, funny and crazy, and perfectly happy to not fit in in a thousand different ways.  I'd like, however, to be that girl, a few sizes smaller.  I'd like to know I'm pretty for a change instead of wondering whether I've just got an inflated ego for thinking so 'cause no one else ever says it.

So you know?  A number on the scale WOULD make me happy.  Each time I see the number a little smaller, I look down on the scale and check myself out in the mirror and I feel HOT.  Doesn't mean I'm perfect, just that I'm happy.

One of the most interesting things about your post, in my opinion, was the part where you stated, "In trying to lose weight that you shouldn't..."  I shouldn't?  I'm about three pounds away from the overweight line.  I personally feel like I should.  Now, I understand there are also girls much smaller than I who are dieting, and quite unhealthily so.  I believe these were who your message was targeting.  But what you don't seem to understand is that it's not as simple as "getting half a brain" and being happy with who you are.  I used to look in the mirror in my size 8 pants and cry at age 16.  I figure you're no teenager; you may or may not remember the feeling, or even know it, but when you're surrounded by what seems like endless numbers of zeroes and ones and threes, accepting your junior-size-11 body is no simple task.

Do I think all girls should be zeroes and ones and threes?  Certainly not.  It's nonsensical to say so (not to mention hypocritical of me to say so).  What I'm saying is I understand why girls are so desperate for it.  The need to feel accepted is more than personality, it's more than a lot of things.  For many girls, it's just another thing on the list of those inachievable things that will make them popular or whatever the heck it is that they want to be.  I never wanted to be popular, myself; I wanted to be pretty, and I never was.  In my eyes, there is no going back; the media has already worked its magic on me.  I won't be pretty until I am slender, but it doesn't mean that I have to be unhealthy.  Sometimes my attitude is unhealthy.  I have to check that.  Many, many people have to check that.  I feel like you're overlooking the fact that these girls are smart girls.  They have more than the less than half a brain you so generously allotted them.  It's not their fault that they feel the way they do.  It's the fault of the people around them that made them feel that way.

Does it make any difference, in the end, whose fault it is?  Of course not.  I believe your message was well-intended, but how it comes across is just plain rude to people who really, truly struggle and have struggled with body image at this time of life.  You said at 26 this all fades away into unimportance.  Perhaps it does.  But would you really argue that the mental capacity of a 13 to 16-year-old girl measures anywhere near the maturity of a 26-year-old woman?  You can't put an old head on young shoulders.  What you can do is try your best to show them how beautiful they are.  I hope you succeed, for everyone's sake, but in the meantime, brush the chip off your shoulder towards these poor girls.  I sympathize with them because I have been there, am there, will be there, most likely, at some point in the future.  It's a lifelong struggle, not something you grow out of after 25.  You can only try to overcome it.

Oh, just to tack on to the general discussion here: the "real women have curves" thing?  What a ridiculous statement.  In all actuality, the only thing real women all have is female anatomy.  We all come in many shapes and sizes and it doesn't make us any less or more of a woman to be skinny, fat, average, or whatever the heck you are.  :)

(edit: added last paragraph)

i'm a teenager and i've been down the road where i thought being thin would make me happier, and it didn't.

i'm not "on a diet", i'm trying to develop healthy eating habits that i know i can live with for the rest of my life. i plan on being fit and healthy when i'm 80, and i know i can do that.

i'm 5'2 and i currently weigh 143, which is in the overweight range. my goal is 120 lbs, which is right in the middle of the healthy range.

i realize now that a number on a scale isn't the world. i have tons of other things in life that i look forward to and adore; weight-loss is just a little perk.

this site has taught me so much more than how to cut calories; it's taught me to live with my imperfections and to love myself regardless of what the scale says. i may be "overweight", but i bet i could out-run those naturally skinny girls who eat junkfood all day and never exercise. and i like the way i look.