Playing the "who's bigger" game

Does anyone else do this in a social situation? Picture it: you go to a bbq or birthday party or club, where ever. And you look around to see who's skinny and who's not. Let's say you're the largest person in the room, do you breathe a silent sigh of relief when someone bigger than you walks in?? Now you dont stand out so much....

Kinda sorta.  I'm less self-conscious hanging out with one group of our friends because there's an obese couple and a couple overweight guys.  I know that's sad but I do kind of appreciate not being the heaviest gal there.  So, yes, I do here you.

even i do this, and i have a bmi of 22.2 (that's actually pretty big in my social circle).  i think that as women, we're programmed to compare ourselves against the competition, whether we want to or not.

I do this as well.  When I first started this site, I found that in social situations, I was usually the biggest and/or my parents were.  As I've lost weight, I do get a little bit happy inside to not be the biggest any more.  I do feel a twinge of guilt for feeling that way though. =/

I can honestly say I have never looked around a room to see if there are larger women than me, or smaller women than me. Unless someone is extremely large or extremely skinny, I don't think I even notice.

I'm sure this is a normal practice among most women though (probably some guys too.)

I'm in school- and I do make sure that I'm not the biggest girl in the class (I'm not that big, just slightly over the healthy weight). I love going swimming with my bigger friends because they always berate me for not owning a bikkini or something, whereas with my smaller friends, I feel incredibly huge in my one piece.

I most definitely do this all the time.  I'm not even overweight anymore.  Most of my girlfriends are quite thin, size 0's to size 4's maybe, and they're a couple inches taller than I am.  I'm about a 6.  And I feel huge around them.  I'm definitely fitter and more muscular than any of them.   But I just prefer when there's a bigger woman around.  I don't like that I even notice, but I do.  I have a set of friends that's all bigger than me, more like the size I used to be.  And I am more comfortable around them.  I'm working on it though!

I TOTALLY do this. Pretty much every day. BUT! I also find myself saying, "Wow, look at that woman... y'know, she could have been 150 pounds heavier two years ago..." LOL, random thing to think about strangers, right!? I've always been the biggest of all my girlfriends, "token fat chick" syndrome my whole life. Thankfully, I've had awesome friends, but obviously I notice and compare myself to them... Blah blah. I was also secretly happy when my younger sister (finally) got hips instead of being a stick girl, but also plus I think she looks better. :) Anyway, anyway, YES, I totally compare myself to other real women (not so much with celebrities, they're all airbrushed anyway, lol).

I always play "who is louder" or "who is more obnoxious" because I'm always the clear winner!

I totally and completel do this.

Sometimes I feel bad...but now that I know I'm not the only one doing it...what's the point?

Yeah i do it. And tho im not proud of it.. i cant help it. i am more times than not the biggest person, so it does make me feel a little better when someone heavier comes in or something. Especially when im with people i dont know as much... Because i know my best friends dont judge me, but people i dont know that well.. idunno.

i don't feel bad in a normal situation because there are always girls smaller than me, too.  But with my family on my father's side, I probably look anorexic to all of them because they're all severely overweight.  and I feel bad (and proud...) to notice that I'm the smallest there.

well from the guys perspective, it doesn't happen so much at parties and what not mainly happens when its time for the shirts to come off (not pervertedly) like when at the beach or at a pool, i think for a guys its more of an ego thing but we kinda do the same thing

Doing this is what made me start trying to lose in the first place.  I always felt like the biggest one of ANY group, and when someone walked in that I perceived to be bigger than me, I was relieved.  :(

I don't do it as much now.  I feel so much more comfortable with myself, and no longer feel as though I stand out.  I sorta blend with the crowd now and that's what my goal was!

oh darn, i thought this was going to be about some "thing" else to get me thru my 3pm work slump... & spiro, you seem like such an innocent meak lamb, never would've thought that about you.

I do this ALL the time!!!  I am HORRIFICALLY self-conscious when I am the biggest girl in the room.  I feel relieved and less pressure when someone larger comes along, but I still feel very self-conscious.  (I'm always thinking, "Oh, I need to hold my abs in" or "Can anyone see my muffin top when I sit down, or is my shirt loose enough?" or "I wonder how bad my ass looks from behind when I'm sitting.")  I've lost 24 pounds (with 33 to go) and now I play a new OBSESSIVE game.  It's called, "Is my butt bigger than hers?  Do my legs look about the same as hers?  Do you think I look thinner or the same as her?"  I drive my hubby NUTS with my barrage of questions when we're out.  I am CONSTANTLY comparing my physique to other women's.  I truly wish I knew how to get over this.  

Yeah, with guys it is mainly only done at the gym and when taking our shirts off at the pool/beach/lake.  I think guys also prefer to surround themselves with better looking and more fit guys as friends instead of obese guys... I might be wrong though.

Alas, I play "who's prettier".  It makes me feel dirty.  The weird thing is, I'm not even that hung up on being the prettiest.  I know in many, many situations I'm not going to be.  I'm very average.  Regardless, when I'm bored I do rate the people around me to decide who is most attractive and where I fit.  I suppose being overweight is a component of that, but -to be sure- there are women who are bigger than me that I see as more facially attractive.

I love this discussion.  I'm actually writing a paper on this right now, about the competition between women to be skinnier and how it can carry on to eating disorders.  We're trying to see if more competitive women are more likely to development eating disorders.

I do this...but I don't feel bad about it...It is not like I am wishing them big...its just that I feel like I have something in common with them...I relax...because I am not the only one...

Original Post by cinfuldiva:

I do this ALL the time!!!  I am HORRIFICALLY self-conscious when I am the biggest girl in the room.  I feel relieved and less pressure when someone larger comes along, but I still feel very self-conscious.  (I'm always thinking, "Oh, I need to hold my abs in" or "Can anyone see my muffin top when I sit down, or is my shirt loose enough?" or "I wonder how bad my ass looks from behind when I'm sitting.")  I've lost 24 pounds (with 33 to go) and now I play a new OBSESSIVE game.  It's called, "Is my butt bigger than hers?  Do my legs look about the same as hers?  Do you think I look thinner or the same as her?"  I drive my hubby NUTS with my barrage of questions when we're out.  I am CONSTANTLY comparing my physique to other women's.  I truly wish I knew how to get over this.  

 Ditto! I've lost about 50 pounds and would like to loose at the very least 30 more and constantly obsess on how I compare to others.