Playing the "who's bigger" game

Does anyone else do this in a social situation? Picture it: you go to a bbq or birthday party or club, where ever. And you look around to see who's skinny and who's not. Let's say you're the largest person in the room, do you breathe a silent sigh of relief when someone bigger than you walks in?? Now you dont stand out so much....

I never used to do this until I started here because everyone's posting "fat" pictures and "skinny" pictures, comparing themselves to celebrities and talking about the differences in their bodies now that they've lost/gained weight.  For example, I read that someone noticed that they now have definition in their collarbone and I go, "Do some people not have a defined collarbone?  I'll have to look at people's collarbones."  People ask things like, "How do I get rid of stretch marks?  I have like two!" and I think, "Hey, I've been covered in stretch marks since puberty!  Am I supposed to care?"  Then people start threads that are like "what size are you at this weight?" and "what's your weight at this size?" and I'll start trying to guess the size/weight of people I meet.

It's not like I care about people's sizes; I just notice them more.  I feel like it's kind of a bad habit.  Maybe I should lay off the forums.

I'm pretty average...I wear a size 5-6...not overweight by any means, but very, very insecure about my body and my appearance (I hate to admit).  I pick every inch of myself apart!  The purple spider veins in my legs, cellulite, "bingo arms", "thunder thighs", my lack of abs, etc.

I think that because I am so insecure about my own body, it sickly gives me pleasure and makes me feel a little better about myself to notice other people's flaws as well. 

When a really attractive girl, showing off too much skin walks into the gym I secretly glare at her, and work harder...LOL...and when I notice flaws on other girls, like cellulite or veins, it helps me not feel so disgusting.  I think to myself, "Okay, I'm not that bad."  OR "That girl has cellulite too and she's still pretty".

1.Alas, I play "who's prettier". 

2.I'm always thinking, "Oh, I need to hold my abs in" or "Can anyone see my muffin top when I sit down, or is my shirt loose enough?" or "I wonder how bad my ass looks from behind when I'm sitting.")  I've lost 24 pounds (with 33 to go) and now I play a new OBSESSIVE game.  It's called, "Is my butt bigger than hers?  Do my legs look about the same as hers?  Do you think I look thinner or the same as her?"

wow,  cinfuldiva and  juliemae those are topics for a whole other thread! lol! but i admit that i do the same...so one up above said that as women we seem to do this almost subconcsiously, and i agree. its automatic to compare ourselves with other women.

And as for the guys, i can imagine that you guys have just as much pressure as we girls do....

 

After losing 85 lbs I am still the largest person in the room.  I started noticing that in college.  I have come to like being the largest person in the room and I honestly am going to miss being so large.  i have always been big but i got strong in college from manual labor.  So I have some mixed emotions about getting smaller.

I wouldn't say i do this everyday, or even that often at all. I don't actually remember having done this any time recently. I remember being about 15 and comparing my size to my friends (and letting out a sign of relief if i wasn't the biggest for once :) ) but I can't remembering any other times.

Then again, i'm pretty anti-social and whenever I am around other people I'm usually in my own world anyway. :D

Oh yeah.  At a recent all-girls-get-together I was the "token fat friend".  Pretty much everyone else was a size 4 and under (except for one other gal who is maybe a size 8), and I'm a size 18.  Not fun.

And, as shallow as this sounds, I would have felt better if one of the other girls was bigger than me!

Good to know I am not the only one who does this!  I do it at the gym in classes - if there is someone I think is heavier than me in the room I feel much better at first but then I get oddly competitive with her.  It's all in my head ... but if I'm tired and thinking of skipping some move during class, and the heavier girl is still going strong, I keep going, and if she quits, its much harder for me to push past my fatigue.

Most definitely. I've even been socked in the arm before for asking one of my girlfriends "Am I as big as that girl? Do I look like that?" It got pretty bad for me at certain points, but lately I've been making a real effort to be concerned with myself and not others. I agree with previous posters, though, who said that we as women are programmed to cut each other down. Even if we are not blatantly competing with them (over a man, job, whatever) there's this subconscious desire to be better. Gross.

 

I think the only time I do it is when I'm in a room full of super-skinny women - the 99lb glamour-model crowd that all my boyfriend's friends seem to date.  I think "please, don't let me be the only one who's ever experienced her clothes being too tight" and then if someone else is a size 6 or larger I think "phew"  and relax a little. Otherwise I tend to sit with my legs tensed up all night to prevent my thighs spreading out, feel self-conscious putting food in my mouth, etc.

haha! I totally do this! But I'm more about, "who's prettier?" And I tend to compare myself favorably. I guess I'm in a confident phase. :D Even though I'm as large as I've ever been (size 12, on a good day), I feel very curvy and attractive.  I just wish it made me feel more motivated to lose, rather than resting on my rather ample laurels. 

I'm very tall for a girl, so I do this...except with height. "Wow, she's taller than me, whew". I love being tall, but sometimes I feel like a corn stalk in a field of wheat.

Well, whenever we are out and see a large gal, I am always asking my hubby "Do I look like her?"  "Is she bigger than me?"  "Is my butt that big?"  DDo my legs look like that?" and questions of this sort.  I think it drives him nuts.  Now when we see a large gal, before I can even get the question out of my mouth, he will say "Don't even ask!"  or "No, you aren't".  But I'm not asking to slam the other gal in any way, I am asking because I have been fat all my life and I really don't know if I have a realistic view of my body.  I don't know if what I see in the mirror is what others see in the mirror or not.  Do they see me as bigger than I see myself?  Smaller?  The same??  I don't really know!  Why should I care?  LOL!  I have lost 70 pounds in the last 10 months with 70 more to go and I still do this.  I've always been the fattest kid in my class, the biggest girl at the party, yadayada.  I hope one day this head trip will stop.  I know I am the only one who can stop it.  I'll have to work on that!  But it's nice to know that others do this too and I'm not the only one!