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please don't lecture me...

I'm posting this for reassurance. Not lecturing. I know what I'm doing is wrong. I just need some kind words, is all.

I can't stop. I can't **** stop, I can't get away. I want to die. I can't get away. I can't stop binging. I'm getting so huge. And its terrifying the **** out of me.

please...

ok think about the end result of what u want. what is ur bigggest weakness and get it out of ur sight. remember its just food and its not like ur gonna die it will end soon enough don't worry we all do it at some time or another.

I understand what you are going thru. After medication prevented me from losing weight I got very discouraged... I went from 2200 calories a day to 1500 calories a day and lost.. NOTHING... not an ounce...  and am now batteling the binging.... hang tough.. it will pass... 

I won't tell you "go for a walk when you feel like eating" because the last time someone told me that I wanted to smack them... the only way I was walking was if I had an ice cream cone in my hand. 

The only thing that will change it is picking yourself up.. dusting yourself off and making a conscious decision to stop and move on.  I know... easier said than done.. but I found any other advice made me want to eat more... I just had to get my head on straight (which usually involved pulling my head out of my butt (figuatively speaking)) and forcing myself to get over it.

Best wishes to you... I understand completely.. honest.... I just polished off a brownie... ug.

i've tried SO HARD to stop. I just spent the majority of the evening FIGHTING. I DID NOT want to binge again. But I seem to be physically incapable of stopping. And I dont want to live anymore. I just don't. Not if I can't stop myself from doing this. And right now, thats how it looks.

I know exactly what you mean. A few years back, I had nightmares about how fat I was getting. Seriously, I was thinking about it at school and at work.

I was so good for the whole day when it came to eating. I would eat fruit all day and then at night, I had to eat. I ate pizza pops, chocolate cakes, ichiban noodles. I just couldn't help it. I would stand in front of the fridge or the cubboards and fight with myself. Then, I would lose the fight eat it all and feel like crap at the end. And, nothing gets rid of the urge. Even today I struggle not to do it. And it isn't even because I'm hungry. It's a habit. Like any habit, you just have to stop cold turkey. The only problem with that is that you can't give up food completely. And so, you have to balance. Really, if you struggle like I do, all you can do is think about it. Think really hard. Say to yourself "How good will this taste, really?" "am I hungry?" "Will I hate myself afterwards?" Obviously, it's human nature to want the big reward right away. We have trouble holding off for the reward down the line. So, we want the food NOW. Like any human being, you have to keep thinking and talking yourself through it. If you need help, please feel free to email me anytime. I will happily talk you through it. 

This is just a question, very serious, but just a question.

Based on all of your threads/posts, have you ever been treated/diagnosed with bipolar disorder or manic depression? 

When you are up, you are VERY up and when you are down, boy, swimchick, you are way, way DOWN.  Classic symptoms of this disorder.  You had a similar post back in May.

You need to speak with your Mom and therapist immediately.  I realize you don't (or seem to think you don't) get along great with your Mom, but you MUST address this post haste. 

You will feel much better once you do, I promise.

I shouldn't have told her. I shouldn't have **** told her. Shes pissed. And upset. And disgusted.

GOD i can't get away.

Hi Swimchick123 ~

I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now. 

Suicide is an extremely serious issue - it's frightening and traumatic for anyone who has a friend or loved one involved with it or with suicide attempts

If you have suicidal thoughts, the most important step you can take is to talk to someone about it - either a medical professional or a trusted person in your family, school or organization.

If you don't know who to talk to, please call 1-800-784-2433.

Here are links to websites that may be able to help you with your binge eating issue:

What is binge-eating disorder

Helpful info to get help for ED sufferers, family and friends

https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/binge-eatin g-disorder/DS00 608

http://www.anred.com/relpr.html

http://www.joyproject.org/overcoming/relapse. html

Swimchick123, we really do care about you here on Calorie Count and we want to see you healthy and happy.

This post is being locked and we strongly encourage anyone who needs help to seek it from an appropriate professional.

(((Hugs)))

~UTR
Volunteer Moderator