PLEASE HELP - feeling frustrated and defeated

Hello,

I am 24 years old and find myself at an undesirable weight.  I started putting a little weight on here and there since the beginning of college - about 5 to 10 pounds per college year.  I am tall (5'11") and I weigh close to 210lbs now.  I've been out of college for 2 years now, but I haven't really started a career in the real world yet (i did an internship the year after college, then tried a little grad school but left and have been searching, without luck, for jobs since January 09).   I want to weigh about 150-160lbs.  I have a lot of nutrition education and eat a lot of vegetarian meals and i love to work out and stay active (mostly running right now).

My problem is that I handle my stress/frustrations/boredom etc with food - cookies, candy, junk food, etc.  Also, right now since my boyfriend and I are unemployed and we have nothing to do each day we end up drinking a lot on boring nights.  Recently, we have made a deal that we will only drink on Fridays in order to avoid the excess calories.

I'm getting really frustrated and losing sight of my goals because I feel like I will never reach them.  I lost 20lbs last summer and was at 170, but I have since put BACK on the 20lbs plus an additional 20lbs which brings me to close to 210 in weight.  I feel like such a failure for letting that happen to me.  I also get really frustrated and confused because the whole time that I've putting that 40lbs on, I've been working out regularly.  I guess recently my diet hasn't been top notch, and I'm sure the alcohol has played a huge part.

I know this is a long post, but it's my first post and I'm really feeling defeated and would LOOOOVE to get some encouragement, motivation, and words of advice from some of you!  I would really appreciate it because I'm at my wits end right now.

hey, dont be to down it happens to all of us i gained back some of my weight due to not watching what im eating thinking i could do it without all the calculations but really the only thing you can do i think is to set yourself a amount of calories you want to eat a day. either use the calorie count food log or make a physical copy you write in like i have and find someone you can see every week of fortnight and ask them to look at what ur eating and give advice and a firm kick up the bum. i think the key to weightloss will be accountability if you have someone that will hold you accountable for your actions it will help curb those excess calories especially if they have a punishment for you,lol. well hope that helps. 

Hey! You are not alone, hon! I have been where you are, many many times...mostly from having eight babies in less than ten years, with two miscarriages in between.

I have been married for 32 years, so obviously I'm quite a bit older than you, but the weight lessons remain the same for all of us.

Years ago, I was told that to lose I would have to stay @ 1200 calories per day, but nowadays I see that thinking has changed. I have been in CC for nearly 2 months now, and just this morning I logged in a total weight loss of 10 lbs so far.

I had gained and lost over the years so many times that I have lost count...and just two years ago I had lost (again) 42 lbs. ~ my biggest "win" so far. But unfortunately, I fell on the ice & broke my R leg, which put me off my feet for nearly a year. Needless to say, I put all that weight back on and so here I am again. I am determined to lose it this time; as a matter of fact, I want to lose another 80 lbs!

The best advice I can give you is to log the daily calories & stick to what ever the site tells you to do.  I had gone down to 1000-1200 per day for a couple of weeks, but found that I was unable to lose anything; when I upped it to 1400-1500 per day, I started to lose again, along with adding to my treadmill time each day!!

As long as you give your body what it needs ~ plenty of vegetables & protein ~ and eat smaller, more frequent meals ~ you should be fine. You already sound like a very active person, so I wouldn't be surprised to read an update from you someday that tells a grand success story!

As a matter of fact...you'll probably beat me to it, lol...

Your situation sounds just like mine! I'm 5'10" and at 212 right now.  I've always been trying to lose weight it seems.  I started really focusing on losing the pounds about 7 weeks ago, because I'm getting married at the end of October.  The thought of pictures really freaks me out because I don't want to look back at the photos and be ashamed of myself.

So I know how much it sucks.  My fiance is unemployed and I work from home, and because of the crappy economy, my work has slowed substantially, so we have A LOT of free time together, in which we could be working out, hiking, but usually end up on the couch. 

I work out about every day, even if its just to get on the treadmill or ellipitcal trainer for 30 minutes.  And I've lost 8lbs in 7 weeks.  While some would say that's about right, its horribly frustrating and upsetting.  I can't seem to get any lower, no matter what I do.

Two years ago I graduated college (after taking 10 years) and was finally in a position to join a gym and I did, and lost about 25 pounds in about 4 months.  I got down to about 200-205.  THEN...I met my fiance.  And it all went down hill.  You know, going out to eat all the time, not going to the gym so I could go see him. Bleh.  It all came back.

So, here we are.  Counting calories for the first time.  I had a mini freakout last night.  For some reason, it all hit me.  I hate having this extra weight.  I know my fiance doesn't love me for who I could be, but who I am, but its still really hard.   And some days I feel like giving up, and that nothing is going to make a difference. But everything I've been doing has made a difference.  Its changed the way I eat, and I have lost some weight.  Not as much as I'd like, but I've lost nonetheless.

Don't give up.  Keep working out, make sure you're doing weight training as well.  I suggest actually detailing a plan of what you want to do when you workout.  And keep watching what you eat/drink.  I never really paid attention to calories before, and once I started, it really makes you take notice of what you're putting in your mouth. 

Set mini goals for yourself instead of just one long term goal.  (I'm in the same boat as you, I want to get to about 160) And when you want to start snacking, first drink a glass of water.  It'll fill you up a bit.  And if you still want that cookie, thats okay, have 1 or 2, just not the box.  I also keep pictures of things that I want, like clothes, or a picture of someone I'd like to resemble once I'm down to ny goal weight.  It keeps me going.  And from finishing off the last 4 cupcakes.

Good luck and don't give up.  It'll happen, just not overnight.

Hi,

I totally get where you're coming from.  I am quite a bit older than you and have fought this battle a long time.  I win sometimes, but overall my life has been a series of battles with my weight.  Career and motherhood were activities compared to the epic battle that I let my weight become.

Today I live my life on a different basis. Now, I want to help others avoid this pitfall in life.   You have a chance not to follow in the footsteps of those obsessed with food, weight and weight loss.   I was totally self-absorbed.  Other people in my life would say "that's crazy."  "You're so nice and giving."  But, deep down all I cared about was getting my fix through food.  It dominated my thoughts. I used food like a junkie uses drugs.

Here's the trick. Put your focus on helping others in this world.  You are obviously making changes and doing the right nutrition thing by being a member of this site, so relax, keep asking for help and if you stay true to a healthy plan, you will definitely lose the weight.  But in the meantime, since you're not finding a permanent job (I know it's hard out there right now!)  Find a place to volunteer and help others selflessly.  It will help you get yourself out of your own way!  When we focus on helping others, our own problems all but disappear.  Good luck to you and your boyfriend and keep up the good work.  Reaching out to others like you did today, gives others the chance to help you and that is a gift!  Thanks.

hi health, I know what you mean about eating due to emotional reasons, I am the same way but am starting to find better ways to help myself with my emotions, rather than just eating. I recently read this on a member's journal:

"If food is not the problem, then food is not the solution"

or something along that lines! It really spoke to me, and the next time I was feeling a bit stressed I thought twice before I went on the hunt for sweet or salty snacks.

I entered your info into this calculator and here's the results. I set your activity at sedentary, that way whenever you exercise, you just add on the amount you burned and eat that back.

Thanks everyone for the responses!  I didn't think I would get this many words of advice and understanding!  I really appreciate it and I'm glad to know that there are people out there going through the same things as me.  Thanks!!!

Hi,

I'm 24 and the same height as you.  Last year, I lost 40lbs.  I recently met my boyfriend, and since then I have gained back 20lbs.  My weight goal is to be 180lbs.  I know that the BMI says that someone our height should be between 150-160lbs, but for myself I know that is not reality.  I haven't weighed that since I was in grade 9!  I don't let my weight get me down, this is my body and if I can't except it, who will?  When I lost my weight, I was going to the gym at least 4 nights a week, attending a strength training class and pilates classes as well.  When I am at home I am a habitual "grazer".  I will eat whatever I can get my hands on.  If I don't keep myself busy, I will eat all day long!  My other weaknesss is portion size, it is so easy to over portion your food!  It is hard when it is so easy to eat the wrong things, but instead of grabbing the cookies grab something healthy and filling, so that you don't over eat and indulge in treats.   I'd also recomend getting your boyfriend or a friend/family member to help you.  When I lost my first 20lbs last year, it was because my father helped motivate me by going for evening walks.  Don't get down on yourself, stay positive, you can do this! Good Luck!