please help me gain weight [i'm new]

Hi everyone, I wasn't sure where to really post this I just joined today.   I've been reading other peoples stories and what they have been through to get to where they are on here and I hope someone can help me also.  Sorry if I type alot I just want to get my point across and I tend to elaborate to much.

I just turned 20 last October, my whole life I've been skinny [naturally, as in no ED or anything, just fast metabolism].   I don't work out, I used to have a job that was physically demanding at a factory but thats the only heavy "work" I've done in my life, besides gym class in high school.  I'm currently 5'6" tall and weigh 101 lbs.  I've gone to doctors for physicals and checkups and stuff like that and I am healthy, I once asked why my weight is so low and I don't gain weight easily and they always just say I have a fast metabolism.  I get my period monthly and have never not gotten it [I know sometimes if you get to a certain low weight you can stop getting it]. My BMI is 16.3.  Much of my family is skinny also, for example: I have a male cousin who is 16 and is 6'4" and 135 pounds, and a younger cousin who is 10 and is 4'9" and 61 pounds.   But when I look at myself I think I look average  I mean I don't have ribs/bones that are visible I just don't have much fat. 

I just got out of school for the summer so I usually am home all day.  I eat make myself soup/meals/go out for food around 11 am, 3 pm by myself.  Then my mom cooks my family dinner at 6 pm.  And I usually get hungry at night and make myself something around 9 pm.  So I eat every couple of hours and I eat fairly large amounts I would say.  I usually just eat when I get hungry.  And it will look like I am alittle bloated and gaining weight at my stomache for a few days and I'd weigh myself and be like 104,  then I'd keep it up and do the same thing, and then my stomache goes back to how it was and i'll be back to being 100 to 102 lbs. 

It just makes no sense to me and I want to gain weight for the summer because to be honest I don't like how I look in swim suits and summer clothes, I am one of those girls with little shape [small boobs and hips],  so I usually think if I can gain weight clothes would fit better.  I have what my friends call "stick legs"  so when i wear shorts it just looks like 2 toothpicks are sticking out.   And I want the weight to be even you know? not just at my stomach but all over just filled out more. My ideal weight would be like 130 but I don't see how that could ever happen because the most I have ever weighed in mlife when I weighed myself on a scale was 105.   I want my BMI to be like 21ish [my sisters is 21.5 and looks average so that would be ideal].

So could it be that I'm not eating the right foods to have enough calories?  I've never been a calorie counter so I don't even know how many calories are in anything I eat to know if its good or not.   To be honest I kind of feel stupid reading some things on here because I don't know much about calories and how much is in each food.  I know there are carbs and proteins and good fats and bad fats..but I don't know what is what..and what I'm suppose to eat to gain weight.  

My breakfast/lunches are usually anything from pancakes to waffles to eggs to bacon to homefries.  for lunch I will go out and get a meatball sandwich at subway or a chicken sandwich and wendys or quesedilla at taco bell.  Or if I stay at home I will make ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese or spaghetti or fried chicken or ravioli or a peanut butter/jelly sandwich.  And my mom makes whatever she wants haha sometimes its mashed potatoes, pork chops, steak, potatoes, cheese steaks, barbeque, spaghetti, hamburgers, corn on the cob, chilli, etc.  I also work part time at a restaurant on weekends for like 5 hours friday and 5 hours saturday.  So I get a free meal of whatever I want when I'm done.  I usually get shrimp or salmon or cheesesteaks or veal or scallops or chicken or beef sandwiches or haddock or turkey sandwiches.  Once again I don't know if any of that is helpful in gaining weight or isn't helpful, if I knew which weren't helping any I'd switch over and eat something else.  And I drink lots of Icy Tea and Mountain Dew and Milk.  So I am guessing maybe I naturally eat enough calories in a day to keep my weight be the same.  So I don't understand how to gain weight if I'm already filling myself up multiple times per day.

I put in that I would like to be 130 by my birthday [which is Oct 1] and it said I should consume about 2,225 calories a day,  is that a normal amount or no?  As I said I'm kind of oblivious with calories.  So can anyone tell me what I could do to gain more weight and keep it on, not just lose it after a few days? [sorry if the message was so long].  Thank you so much if anyone would respond, I really would appreciate it.

u no wat? some people have specific body shapes. i dont think u shud be dictated by other people on how u shud look. there IS such a thing as genetically slim and lean.

but if u want to gain weight for more selfconfidence then Go U!!

I'd stock up on these

pasta salads with olive oil dressing

salmon

nuts and seeds as snacks

treats -dark chocolate and some icecreams

have full fat dairy, ur a teen so u dont need to worry about the ramifications of dairy lol

snack on lots of fruit juices, cheese on ww crackers

u can search calorie dense foods on this forum

good luck

edit-- thought of some more;

peanut butter

Dried fruits are better for u than fresh if u have a sweet tooth, dried apricots, raisins etc

chicken/turkey With the skin on

fullfat yogurt with nuts/seeds mixed in

avocados

fruit smoothies with whole milk/coconut milk...so easy to boost cals with liquids

seeded breads/bagels

granola

trail mix

muesli

I would recommend something more like 2500 minimum. Your food and diet actually sounds really good, varied, and you don't seem afraid of eating anything which is very encouraging. I suggest, basically, you just have bigger portions of what you are now and make sure you eat about six times a day (3 meals, 3 snacks). Though this said there is such a thing as being predesposed to being slim - though, your weight is still very low, and so I think it is wise you want to put on some weight to look better in yourself.

I'd also have a chat to your doctor; make sure you don't have any absorption or gut issues that might be affecting your weight. Beyond this, any other questions - please feel free to ask, and good luck. There are also lots of stickies with food tips and advice to help you out at the top of the forum.

Yeah, like I said I'm def. not afraid to eat food I eat a ton it just seems like it doesn't work and I get frustrated.  And my weight is low and it really bugs me because most people I know that are my height are like 130 lbs and have curves and everything, I'm like... a popsicle stick shape, lol.  Thanks for the advice.

And if salmon is a good thing to help gain weight like the person above you posted then yay because I really love that and other seafoods. lol

Do you know your calorie level daily now? I ask cause at one time when I was underweight I ate all foods but my calorie needs were very high and so I had to focus on making sure I got in more calories. People vary in their calorie needs. Just like there are some people who can eat and stay a toothpick naturally and some have to be more careful. So calorie calculators are not always accurate. Do you have any stomach issues,how about your period? If you want to gain and or need to for your health you may have to push through feeling full to be healthy. Try to focus on dense foods like nuts,dense breads,etc. Salmon is a source of healthy fats/protein. It is not that it is for weight gain so to speak as many people on diets have this but is a nutrient dense food. Add some yummy side dishes and it is a great meal.

No I don't know my level now, as I said I don't know how many calories are in most of the food I eat.  I often mix foods and take a bit of everything for a meal, so the labels on the boxes aren't necesarily how much I am eating which confuses me.  And I often go out to eat so I don't know how many calories are in it.  My guess is I eat enough that it balances out with how many calories I burn a day, since my weight always stays the same.

My stomach is fine and I have been getting my period fine my whole life [since i was about 13].  I've just naturally been thin.  I try to eat past being full and then I get sick because I'm so stuffed, so I usually eat until I'm full, then in a few hours I eat again until I'm full.

I don't know if I'm considered unhealthy or not.  I mean they always say if you have a BMI under 18 you are underweight and at risks of more things,  but if someone is naturally that way [not forcing themselves to be and restricting themselves], is it the same? What I mean is there could be 5 people out there who are 5' 6" and normally weigh 135 and restrict themselves to weigh 101, which is unhealthy.  But if I'm naturally at 101, am I just as unhealthy/at risk as them?  I mean we would physically probably look similar but would we be similar in our lung/heart/body functions?

im gonna go against the grain (and not wishing to exhibit any destructive behaviour) but i think you should let yourself be. a key key indicator for women regarding their general health is periods. the fact that you have a period is a clear sign that your body is perfectly happy where it is and you dont need to interfere with that.

nancy clark is a really interesting dietician. she is sports nutritionist to much of the american olympic team. her book was practically a bible to me when i was underweight. she reviewed many articles showing that as the same can happen with over weight people (who bounce back to their pre-diet weight) the same happens with "hard gainers" or naturally thin people. chances are if you got up to 130, you would probably lose the weight relatively quickly.

also you run the risk of upsetting your periods by trying to morph your body into something its just not willing to be. you sound like you have no issues with food and it is clear that calorifically you are not undereating (as indicated by periods).

so my opinion is only "let your body be what it wants to be - whatever that may be"

as in my previous post, my instinct was to say what fidget just did.

ive been overweight, genuinely ano, and in the middle at a healthy weight

NO DIFFERENCE to my confidence at all, in hindsight. I was selfconscious at age 13 as 5ft 1 and 145, as i was same height two years later at 84

no harm in seeing what bumping up your cals will do, if u want to, so maybe go at it full throttle (3000cals, use lots of good oils, seeds, nuts, pasta),for a month

if it doesnt work, LET IT GO

u r as u are, many envy u, and even if ur lean it does NOT make u unfeminine!

think of cameron diaz, kate hudson, heidi klum....all lean and very feminine.

Fidget:  that is not necessarily true. I am almost 5'9" and my period returned when I had gotten up to 93 pounds or so. Does that mean I was at a good weight for my height and body? No. I am quite certain of that - 93 pounds was not my body's "happy weight" It just means that my body was able to produce the proper hormones again.

That being said - I have always been very thin myself, even before developing AN. And it is true some people are naturally like that. Tiff - I am 20 years old too (and my birthday was last October BTW!!), and I have to eat 3,000 calories a day just to maintain at 104lbs. I still have to gain though - so I need to eat even more on top of that.  I know its really frustrating when you want to gain and your body just doesn't want to cooperate. Sometimes though, it takes a few years for your body to really fill itself out though. I noticed you mentioned most of your skinny cousins were younger than you, meanwhile the curvy sister you envy is older. Perhaps your sister was thin in her younger years too, and it will just take you longer to fill out?

a period is often a great indicator of health.

REBEL-i may be wrong, but arent or werent you on some sort of birth control?

yeah but rebel you have an eating disorder. the OP doesnt. she has always been this weight. there or there abouts. the context is completely different. she is not unwell and doesnt claim fatigue.

i think its a bit silly to be suggesting that she's not at a good weight for her body, when she is complaining no physical / psychological ailments pertaining to food.

there can be a danger with us ED sufferers to push anyone and everyone who is remotely skinny into a "you should def gain weight because you are unhealthy". mode.

Agru: I am now. I stopped taking it several months ago and didn't start taking it again until my period came back on its own. Also - when I was in IP and in high school/college - my period always comes back when I reach the 90-95lbs range. :shrugs:

I know I have an ED. And before I developed aforementioned ED - I was 105lbs and 5'7"-5'8". And I was eating enough still at that point (I have an unfortunately good memory - I KNOW I ate at least 2000-2500 a day if not more). My doctor still wanted me to gain weight because I was under the charts. I distinctly remember being 13-14 and sitting in her office while she lectured me on how even if I got my period at that weight, I might not be able to safely have children. Whether she was wrong or right, I don't know.

BTW - I was not pushing her to gain. I said that it might just be her body type for right now, and that she might start to fill out more as she got a bit older.

your doctor is WRONG!! if you have a naturally occuring menstrual cycle you can have babies! you mighten be able to have em in the normal fashion ie; you might require a c-section due to petite stature but nothing physiologically stoppn you makin babies!

Well. That's a pisser. Sometimes I've wondered if the pushing and attempting to force  me to try to gain weight when I was eating pretty healthfully (OK! Not every 14 year old has a root beer float everyday after school..) was part of what triggered my ED. Hmph.

Original Post by rebelchick1017:

Well. That's a pisser. Sometimes I've wondered if the pushing and attempting to force  me to try to gain weight when I was eating pretty healthfully (OK! Not every 14 year old has a root beer float everyday after school..) was part of what triggered my ED. Hmph.

i know in my circumstance being "pushed" to gain my whole life certainly has to do with how i was triggered to reject food as well.

but to the op: i think you have a positive attitude towards gaining and that will do you good. i would suggest getting more low-density high calorie foods into your diet... you'll be able to eat more calories (and get even more nutrients) in before feeling full. it's been said, but nuts, seeds, avocados, olive oil, etc! it's all on the official high calorie foods list.

good luck to you!

Rebel I too got a period at very low weights like you have stated. I have also had friends who got pregnant and had anorexia. They had lots of complications with there pregnancy. To me to put your baby at risk to stay underweight is not ok and imagine having to live with knowing the complications your child had was due to not taking care.  I know my mom had me and she was anorexic. She could not breast feed because she could not produce milk. It is not worth putting your baby in danger.