Please help- I need support: rage, anger and sadness...stop me from bingeing

I don't know what to do, or what to say, I'm having an emotional breakdown, and coming from a history of emotional eating and bingeing, I don't want to break the great effort I've put in recently.

My boyfriend cheated on me. I just found out. He's been doing so for the last month. **** him, how dare he?! I want to just go to the kitchen now an wolf down the chinese take out and the carrot-cake muffins. That and everything else.

I feel like food is the only thing that can calm me down right now. I need someone to tell me otherwise. Im sorry, I've been trying to give support to others, but this just came out of the blue, I never suspected a thing.

I feel horrible... Im sorry..

I dont know what else to say but Im sorry. I've yet to experience what thats like (I hope I never do), but I can only imagine how bad that feels.

If he was cheating on you, clearly he isn't worth your time. Taking it out on yourself makes even less sense.

Your body needs some way to dump that stress, and for now your outlet is eating. The only advice I could give would be to train it to dump stress by other means, sometimes going to the gym is all that can keep me sane, maybe the same can work for you.

I wish you the best, but I know this is probably cold comfort in the face of what you are dealing with.

Do you have anyone to talk to ?Maybe a friend to help you thru this? lrice648
is right. This is not your fault, so why would you punish yourself?

Somethings you can do:

• Write him hate mail
• Visit a friend
• Take a run/walk
• Take a bath/shower
• Take a nap
• Watch a movie
• Plan a vacation
• Focus on your goals

I am sure you can think of some others.

I am sorry this happened. I wish you happiness.

First of all, I am very sorry this happened to you. I know how you feel, I have been though something similar myself. In this situation, eating food excessively would be a self-destructive act, so if you can try to resist.

I know that you are upset, angry, and hurt. Food won't change any of those feelings, unfortunately. Call a friend or family member, what you really need now is support.

I don't know if this will help, but these are some things I realised when an ex cheated on me:

-You don't deserve this, no matter what state your relationship was in. If there were problems between the two of you they could have been solved in other, less hurtful ways. You didn't drive him to do this, it was his choice.

-While you may want to blame it all on the other woman, don't spend all your anger on her (its ok to be a little mad at her though). Its possible that she didn't know about your existence. I've seen many women (myself included) blame the other woman, but as I said above it was still his choice.

-You deserve to be with someone who respects you. Someone who has the courage to tell you how they feel, even if things are not going well in the relationship. Oftentimes when people cheat there are problems in the relationship that they are afraid to deal with, and that, frankly, is cowardly (I say that from both sides of the situation, I have been cheated on and I have cheated. It is ugly.).

Again, I am sorry that this happened to you. Allow yourself time to be upset, find someone you can talk to, and know that you are a strong person and you will make it though this.

Just think about his face when he sees you looking great and kicking himself for taking you for granted. Binging will just make you feel even worse about yourself than you do now - trust me I would know. Don't let that swine be the cause of ruining all your efforts, he isn't worth it. He may have effected you on the inside but don't let him effect you on the outside too!

Oh no!  I'm so sorry that happened, but in a way, not so much.  You deserve someone who's going to respect you.  You're a good person; you're beautiful, trusting, kind... obviously this was not a good match.  Still, it's natural to mourn the loss. 

Don't let him wreck your efforts--go sweat it out.  You really will feel better.  You could make a night of it.  Put in some time at the gym with a friend, or at least with your ipod, music always boosts your spirits.  Then go out for appetizers and drinks. 

Hold your head up high--someday your prince will come.  And he'll be worth the wait.

You've probably already eaten the takeaway, etc.    But once they're gone, wipe the grease from your mouth and think of something really painful to do to the man!!

When my husband left me for another woman I cancelled his gold credit cards.  They were the only thing he ever truly loved so it seemed appropriate! And then I found where he'd parked his car and returned the golf caddy he'd carelessly left behind... through the windscreen...  (OK, I was lucky not to get arrested but it was heart-warming at the time). 

Don't get mad... get even.  Best of luck.

Original Post by gi-jane:

You've probably already eaten the takeaway, etc.    But once they're gone, wipe the grease from your mouth and think of something really painful to do to the man!!

When my husband left me for another woman I cancelled his gold credit cards.  They were the only thing he ever truly loved so it seemed appropriate! And then I found where he'd parked his car and returned the golf caddy he'd carelessly left behind... through the windscreen...  (OK, I was lucky not to get arrested but it was heart-warming at the time).

Don't get mad... get even.  Best of luck.

 

Most people love gi-jane for her sensible, thoughtful, mature advice on healthy weight loss. I love her for posts like this one. xD

pearsnapples, I`m sorry you have to be going through this right now. It may be hard to see right now, but there is a bright side to the whole situation - you are now more experienced and more mature and will be able to see this coming if you are in danger of ending up in a similar position in the future. It`s also better that your ex revealed his true nature sooner rather than later - a cheating man becomes more of an issue when he is your husband and you share many possessions and perhaps even children.

Try to focus on what a great asset you are and what a dummy he is for letting you go. Revenge is lovely, as it is to see him crawl back once he realizes the other woman is not what he really wants, and I really hope it happens just so you get the thrill and power rush of turning him down.

But most of all, it`s a new beginning for you, so let your hair down, go buy yourself the most expensive flattering dress you can find, and catch up on dating all the cute guys you turned down in the past because you were taken. All the food in the world could never make you feel as good as a few well thought out compliments will. ;)

I am so sorry and I know this is hard to accept and face right now but you have to so you can move on. It will take time and all the emotions/feelings you have are normal. Numbing yourself through food will only do that numb and then it will wear off. Do you have a friend you can call or family? Have you talked to him since you found out? I am not sure what your plans are with the relationship but just remember this is not your fault.

What a slime! I went through similar. I say let her have him! Good riddance. Sianara, baby.  It's his bad character. I have been through this before. I am also an emo eater. Except when I was with the cheater I got fat because food was my only source of comfort.

I am happy to say I now have nice husband who loves me very much. He will do anything I ask of him and wants me no matter what size I am.  He even apologizes about the other guy - whose name escapes me (my ex). We call him different names.  Dummy, whatever. But had I not found out about his cheating (my exes) I would never have had the opportunity to be with such a wonderful man.

It seems the woman he left me for - he cheated on her too and the one after that and so on...

So if this guy cheats on you - he'll cheat on her.  I found though not to be too hung up on this - so you can get all the good stuff in life, you deserve it! Now here is your chance to go for it. You have obviousy been making changes and he didn't want someone who cared about themselves. I say good for you - now, put the pie down! Take a hot bath - go for a walk and let that anger catalyze the new you to emerge! Call a friend and have a good cry instead of eat (but if you cry too much your eyes may hurt).  When its all over - keep the junk outta your house (food and ex)!

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. You can lose a couple hundred lbs right now by getting rid of this loser !!! Tell him good riddance and don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

My other advice would be pretty much what everyone else said. Talk to a friend. A good cry will help too and follow it up with some good cardio exercise. I do this a lot after my husband and I fall out about something. What you really don't want to do is binge eat because you will only be hurting yourself in the long run. If you need someone to talk to over the phone or via email let me know.

And as Beyonce says in Irreplaceable:

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left

Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
If I bought it please don't touch

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

I came across your post and I know how you feel. My wife left me for another guy just two months ago. I went through the gaunlet of feelings: anger, sad, confused, and wondering what I did wrong to have this situation to just occur.

As for the eating I actually went in the other direction. I barely ate and it did not help me just as wanting to attack the chinese food and carrot cake muffins. The best thing That worked for me was to go to the gym and use that energy towards something good instead of staying at home and dwelling. I am still dealing with the whole ordeal but am less stressed about how to handle all the emotions since I stayed on a routine throughout the whole entire day.

Yes there are ups and downs but do not give up hope. Just remember that your boyfriend's extra curriculars do not reflect upon you. They reflect upon the type of person he has now shown you. His deficiences made him do an idiotic move such as cheating on you. Dedication and loyalty go along way in relationships and most people take that for granted.

Just remember that there are people who love and support you even when times are tough. Hang in there deep down know you can do this.

zifhip