Please Say HI To Me

I am having a really hard time right now and feel so alone. I feel pathetic.  Food was my friend and now I don't have it and don't want it.  I use to drink haven't done that in five years, and I use to smoke haven't done that is almost four year.  So I am left with me that has a disability and well don't want to sound like I'm whinning because I do have graditute for what I have.  Now I have do ask myself what do I have well I've lost six pounds in 22 days that's a good thing.  Then my next thought is well you broke a part on the classrooms computer, you bought the wrong book twice, and your a loser because you couldn't handle the class physically or emotionally.  Now I am trying to think of another thing positive right now its pretty difficult to have a mental graditude list.  Usually if I can get greatful I feel better but I'm not there yet.  I've typed and typed on line how I am going for therapy and haven't done it.  So right now I say to you all I'm doing it right now because I'm really depressed.  

I hope you all are doing well and I am so greatful to have this site to come to and type out my feelings. 

HUG to All

marilynlg 

hi marilynlg!

I hope you feel better.... there are always those days that we feel like we cant move any more, that breathing is just too much to bear.  And then eventually, sometimes with effort on our parts, it gets better.

((hugs)) to you from someone who has been there.... and therapy and sometimes meds can be infinitely helpful.  hang in there!!

(ps make a profile so we can get to know you better!!)

((((HUG))))

hope that helps a bit!

Dont sweat the small stuff - but remember to keep your goals in sight.

The university will fix the computer, books can be exchanged, and some classes are hard - both mentally and emotionally. I remember putting off a chemistry and a statistics course, because I was not ready to commit to them. But eventually I did and passed well.

It is hard to learn how to ignore the negative thoughts, and focus on the positive, but the reality is that no-one else remembers the bad stuff - so why should we??

How do other CC members deal with this??

You sound like you need a great big ((((((((((HUG)))))))))))
yes, please make a profile!  I'd love to get to know you better!

(((hug)))

Well computers are, as is all technology, made to break - so it had it coming. You can swap the books or if not, sell them :). I know what you mean about not being able to handle a class, i found that alot during some problems last year but you'll be fine :)

Therapy wouldn't be a bad thing, but i am bias!!

I'm sure there are many positive things in your life, but it is hard to think about them when mentally you are down... maybe make a list as they come to you. Give you something to read if you feel down.

Good luck on all your endevour though :)

Hi Marilyn!  I see you're keeping a journal.  Try visiting the journals of people who you see on the forums.  Add them to your friend list if you wish.  Soon they will add you to their lists and you'll have a nice circle of friends who have things in common with you.

Good Luck!

Just wanted to say Hi!  And I do hope you feel better soon.  YAY on the 6 lbs lost :O)

Hi :)

*big*squishy*hugs*

:) :) :)

sometimes we have to make adjustments (like drop classes) or actively try new things (like counseling)!  we all do!!!

you're not alone... there's lots of use here :) 

cheers, jules

Good job with the drinking, smoking, and 6 pounds lost!!  Yay for you!!!  That is quite the accomplishment...I am on day 25 without cigarettes and know what a huge accomplishment 4 years nonsmoking is. 

Breaking the computer...hey, that's what keeps the techies in a job ;-)  So, consider that you just contributed to someones job security!

As for the class being too difficult..well, that is really common.  I work in a college so I know that is really common.  No need to beat yourself up for that.

I think sometimes you have to just try really hard to find the positive in the negative...it is always there, just have to look for it sometimes. 

Make the appointment for counseling.  Baby steps...just make the appointment..that is all you have to do for the first step.  You can do it.

(((hugs))) Hope today is a better day.

Er... 'Hi To Me!'

*barks, expecting a tread now* ;)

Welcome to Calorie-Count. Looks like you're already off to a Grrrrrreat start! :) 6 lbs. in 22 days is pretty spiffy :)

What can we do ya for? :)

Good Morning

I'll say Hi all the time if you like.

Keep tuning in and you'll get many many friends.

Hi there. It really is helpful when you fill in your profile. You have made such wonderful progress, quitting smokeing, losing 6 lbs, quitting drinking. There is nothing you can't do if you reallly want it. Can you join a an exercise group? You say you have a disability but not what kind. Exercise really helps to lift the spirits and there are exercises for all kinds of problems and levels. January and February are really bad months for depressions. Speak to your doctoir or a therapist. You don't have to feel so down on yourself. Keep journaling.

Hi!!  Just hi.  Everyone has blue days.  Hope today is better for you!  Awesome job on the 6 pounds!

Holy 6 lbs in 22 days! WOW! You are doing wonderfully *GREEN WITH ENVY* Keep up the fantastic work. Congrats on giving up the cancer sticks as well. Another step in the right direction!

Marilyn honey you sound aweful, and darling I've BEEN THERE, you've just GOT to find happiness.  First, LOVE YOURSELF just because you exist!  It's easier said than done, but when I read that quote to myself, it makes me feel better.  Love yourself just because you exist.  You are Loved by the deepest part of you, nourish that part!  Find things you enjoy doing and indulge, candlelit baths, manicure/pedicure, facial, knit/crochet, buy an old Nintendo and play Mario Bros, watch Funniest Home Videos every night because that will ALWAYS make you laugh. 
I've suffered from suicidal depression, seriously.  But it's been 3 years now, I'm medicated, but still I search for things to bring me joy and I attack them with passion. 
Please feel free to chat w/me, I hate to hear anybody so down, it reminds me of the pain I suffered those years back.  Take care sweetie.

HI!!!

Hang in there, you will get through it! Along with everyone else, I TOTALLY agree that creating a profile and adding people as friends is an awesome way to connect with people here. I joined last March and I was really lonely too- I had just moved to a new city and was completely alone- I didn't know anyone!! I made friends on here that I still keep in touch with! We're here for you!

Thank You All for your encougagement, and support.   I am feeling better today at least I'm not suicidal.  I did sell one of my books on Ebay didn't make all the money back but its better than nothing.  I called and left a message for a therapist and psychologist called me back asked me many questions talked for about ten minutes at the end of the coversation he says well I'm only in town one day a week and I don't have time.  I was really upset and crying because my thoughts were he doesn't want me because I'm to sick.  I really know how to beat myself up.  Today is a new day and like I said I feel much better. 

HUG TO ALL,

marilynlg

Precious Marilyn,
I hate that the psychologist was unprofessional!  It has nothing to do with who you are and where you are right now.  I spent 2+ years in counseling, one year private and another year in group.  It was the best decision I made.  It gave me tools to combat depression and bad genes (grandmother was manic) that I still use, now 12 year later.

Have you checked with the clinic/health center on the university campus?  They can usually give you a better recommendation ~ someone they know ~ so that you won't go through a jerk again.

Having a spirit of gratitude is a great way to start!!!  I saw that you have 2 grown kids and 4 grandkids.  I hope that is a source of gratitude for you.

I am proud of you.  You have mastered drinking.  You have mastered smoking.  You are intentional about mastering food.  You have the ability to persevere.  You are smart.  You are an RN.  The RNs I know are amazing people who are devoted to the healing of others.  I bet you are too.

We are here for you.  I am here for you.  So very glad that today was better than yesterday!!  Hope you have a great tomorrow.

peg

you are so strong for reaching out, that takes so much courage! and the fact that your reaching here instead of reaching for food shows amazing strength and determination. Everyone has incredibly bad days, but tommorow is a new day and we can start all over and make it a great day.
I hope tommorow is better! ((((((HUG)))))))

Nym

I'm sorry you had such an unprofessional response from the psychologist you talked to.  If you haven't already, check out the National Institute of Mental Health web page for suggestions of different places you can seek help.  http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/get tinghelp.cfm  If at any point feel you need to talk to someone immediately, you can also

Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.