Please Kick Me.

Ok so i started my journey back in April at 126lbs and 26% body fat, i knew i wasn’t really chubby but i was very much the skinny fat girl.

I struggled along on my own for a while and managed to get down to 18% body fat (115lbs) and after one failed personal trainer i met up with my current one over at figure athlete and she’s really been putting me though my paces.

About 6 weeks ago the new trainer decided i needed to stop actively trying to “cut” as she said i didn’t have the muscle mass to pull off lower than 18% without starting to look sickly and she started me on a bulking program.

She slowely upped my Cals till i hit about 2200 per day, got me lifting heavy with moderate cardio and lots of HIIT the plan was to allow me to build muscle while keeping my fat levels in check.

4 weeks passed and she asked for all my update i took photos/weight measurements but the results from my point of view where not encouraging. There was little difference in the measurements my weight had gone up 3lbs to 118lbs (which i was expecting) and tbh i really can’t see any difference in my photos.

My trainer hasn’t been discouraged though, she seems to think i’ve gained muscle with losing fat which is why my weight went up but my measurements didn’t, she thinks i look tigher and more defined and she says the one measurement that went up (1inch on the bicep) was encouraging.

However she wants to change tack because im only supposed to be on a short bulk, and she wants to see bigger gains before im finished at the end of October, she’s told me not to be discouraged as we were new to each other things where bound to need tweeking while she worked out how my body responds.  She thinks i come in the category of a “hard gainer” and so what she’s  done this month is taken away all my Cardio as she thinks my body’s struggling to gain muscle while doing it, and she’s really changed my workouts, she’s generally just decreased the intensity, upped the weight lowered the reps and has added super sets and had drastically upped my calories by added more good fats and other calorie dense foods.  

However im struggling to find the motivation, im handling the workouts even if i do feel weird doing it, i feel like im slacking with the new plan, i feel as though just as im getting going it’s over. She says it should feel like that, she basically says she wants me in the gym, lifting and out as soon as possible, giving my body just enough to motivate muscle growth without giving it chance to kick my metabolism into far so i don’t burn off too many of the cals i need for my muscles to grow.

Foodwise im just plain struggling, the lack of results seems to have thrown my self control out of the window. Im struggling with the new amounts because its just plain alot of food and im not hungry so im finding it difficult to motivate myself to eat it all, i know i need it but i find myself skipping meals...

However despite this I seem to have gained alot of weight in the last two weeks since i got the new plan taking me up to 123lbs (some of which i suspect is water) Still it’s a hell of an increase and it shows everywhere, all definition in my stomach has vanished overnight and im getting a rather disheartening “muffin” top over all the new jeans i bought to celebrate my body and im beginning falling victim to the “well im getting fat anyway” mentality which means im finding it hard to resist eating things i know i shouldn’t.  

I really need a kick up the butt ... i keep trying to tell myself that i just need to do what im told and that somewhere under the fat there will be some fab muscles i’ll get to reveal for Christmas, because my trainer has promised if i follow her plan the fat i gain now will be gone for Christmas photo’s (my biggest fear is looking fat on the photo’s AGAIN this year.)

It’s so weird i never had a problem with self control when i was dieting, but now im bulking it’s all falling apart, watching the weight go up and the fat come on is really demoralising, i guess i just need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok and give me a swift kick to get me back on the horse.  

HOLY CRAP, I would love to have your trainer she is hard core and that is so awesome.  She sounds like she knows what she is doing and really pays attention to what your body is doing.  There is going to be a bit of fat gain, keep with it you know that its normal.  You can do this and your body will be rockin by christmas. I am totally jealous.

Eat your food!!!  Enjoy because before you know it, it will be time for another "awesome" cutting cycle. 

sigh, so jealous of fancy trainers and sweet muscle gains.

Hey Leiela, I just took a look at your photos and I think you look great!! I do actually see a dif in the pics from 114 to 118 and tbh I think you look better in the 118 shots..I have chatted with you before and we have had some similar issues..I have been on my own without a trainer for a while now and I am totally losing it...so my advice to you is ..you know the drill..stick with it and you will surely be looking fab by x-mas!! Hey I think you look great now....and you know that you will not let yourself go at this point after all your hard work..right??

*You have also inspired me to take some new photos of myself..I was updating them as I went along but have not taken any new in a while..I have gone from 131 to 112...my goal now is 110 but more over a toned buff body! Good Luck to you and feel free to drop me a message any time you need a kick!

I think I am in a similar boat, although not as severe.  I don't have a lot of weight to lose and I am trying to cut fat and build muscle. I don't have a trainer but I am using the book New Rules of Lifting by Lou Schuler.  He advocates more calories and short workouts with heavy weights/low reps, and minimal cardio.  It is so different than anything I am used to.  I too feel like I am not working hard.  (The workouts are hard, but so short!) I have stopped my spinning classes and I feel like I am eating all the time.  I am making good choices but I do usually cheat (badly) one day a week (usually twice the amount of calories I am supposed to eat and bad things - like ice cream).  I wonder if that one cheat day really does a lot of damage because I don't restrict all week. I am trying to stick with it.  The program is a lot more enjoyable than eating very low cal and doing hours of cardio.  I am going to cut out my cheat day for a few weeks and see what happens (if I can!).  I am also going to lift harder during my short workouts.  The one thing I am having a really hard time cutting out is a glass of red wine three or four nights a week.  My husband and I love wine and we try all different kinds.  I hope I don't have to cut that out. 

I think you should keep trying for a while.  You do look great and it is very interesting to be under the direction of a knowlegable trainer.

You set a great example for me, and I'm sure many women, as to why numbers aren't everything.  Your pictures at 121 lbs are so vastly different from 118 lbs... because you literally resculpted your body.  How long did it take you? 

This is really encouraging for me bc I've lost I think what I'm happy with weight wise (maybe 5 or so more to go)... But I want to create more lean body mass.  So many women are tied up in a number, number, number... When really, your measurements and just how you look and how strong you feel are the real keys.

Great job with everything - you look awesome (before and after!).

Dana

Awww thanks guys i'm just mentally coming to a block in the road, it's just mentally exhusting sometimes, it's so easy to get side tracked... that pizza OR chocolate sometimes is so appealing, cheat meals are all well and good but sometimes you just want to sod it and stop counting everything that go's into your mouth.

I've been on this journey for 6 months now and i know i've done well but i think sometimes you need other people to say it you get so used to seeing yourself in the mirror you find it hard to see the changes yourself.

I love my new trainer she's an angel really takes good care of me, i'd really recommend your to anyone who was thinking of online training so much more affordable to the average joe than trying to pay someone in a gym and even thought she's not with me in the gym she still managed to kick my ass.

I know i should be super pleased with how well i've done already but i have sooooooooo set my heart on wearing something wow amazing for all the christmas parties.

I think "this christmas dress" has become some what of a "point to prove" for me, i don't have a whole lot of support in my real life my friends think im crazy and can't workout why i feel the need to change my body because in thier opion its fine already, the female friends especially just seem to think im gonig to turn into the incredible hulk, and don't even get me started on my family, my mother still insists of sending me every peice of garbage on the "dangers of lifting / correct nutrition oh and my personal fav "how to love yourself just the way you are"  and watches and comments on everything i eat so much that i now book my cheat days around visiting her just so she doens't have reason to complain.... Blah!!!

so i think this christmas dress is becoming abit of a point to prove, i remember sitting there 6 months ago lookin at photo's of women i wanted to look like thinking geeze they are 30 just llike me, i wonder if i could look like that, and everyone laughing at me saying that real women just didn't look like that ...

So i guess i want to prove they can, i want to wear the sexiest most gourgous WOW dress come christmas prove that my time isn't being wasted and that i wasn't an airhead for wanting to try and reclaim my body. 

online trainers?  I am intrigued...could you give me a website or something so I can see how it works?

Yeah online trainer, I have not heard of this!

Very interesting, do share!

not much to it really they sort out your nutrition tell you what to eat when and they organise your training shedual. sort out which exersices you should be doing stuff like that.

They use updates to keep a track of how you are doing such as your weight , measurements photo's, diary's etc so they can keep tweeking things if your not making progress. 

For me i realised very quickly that no book or online calculator could tell me exactly what to eat to lose weight, i fought tooth and nail for every pound i shed, it didn't seem to matter if i upped my cals or lowered them the fat didn't budge i wasted tons of time fumbling around guessing at alot of things ... like how many cals i should eat, what i should eat and when ... which exercises to do etc and getting no-where.

One thing i've learned is that everyone is different, everyone needs different cals different exercises diffierent amounts of carbs etc ... for example some people like me do better with higher carbs while others make tons of progress cutting thier carbs back.

It's great if you can work out all these things for yourself. Unfortunalty im not that blessed, 

I have no trouble kicking my own ass in the gym but for me half the puzzle was broken because i couldn't get my diet right no matter what i tried. Which is why i turned to a trainer.

My first trainer was face to face in my gym was alright but she was too expensive to keep up with and she only knew about exercise, and even back them i knew that diet was the real key and she simply couldn't help me with that.

However my new trainer deals with both and she is a figure athlete herself and has done tons of comps so i know she really knows what she's talking about.

It's gonig to take time to perfect everything while she works out what my body's doing but she because we've only been together for a short time and she's still learning how my body reacts to various things.

However i have great hope for the future she picked up very quickly that my body needed carbs more than i was giving it, and i feel amazing since i've switched to her diet, i've over doubled the amount i can lift in 4 weeks which is just totally fab and i've finally mastered the pullup.

She sends me a new diet plan and training scheual based on my photos and measurements every 4 weeks. For example from the last set she's worked out that i am of the breed of people who's body's resist muscle growth at every turn haha... so she's changed my training and food to take than into account. 

However she keeps in constent contact Via email and she often makes tweeks here and there on the fly depending on how i tell her i've been feeling etc, like a few weeks ago i was having trouble focusing and i was burning out really fast at the gym, she helped me workout what the problem was and helped me fix it.  

Generally she's just really good support i can have a good olde moan to her and she always manages to cheer me up and remind me why im pushing myself so hard to keep me motivated.

I've had a great experience with my trainer so far They can't be with you in the gym and they don't see what you put in your mouth but at the end of the day if you don't follow thier instructions whats the point paying them?? 

I would have loved to keep up with a face to face trainer because im sure they are much better in the long run, but sadly it is waaay out of my budget, so this was an affordable alternative.

I would have loved to keep up with a face to face trainer because im sure they are much better in the long run, but sadly it is waaay out of my budget, so this was an affordable alternative.

 What is affordable, if you don't mind?