Please, in need of reassurance

Ok, I've been actively trying to keep at a calorie intake of 2200-2400 a day, and have seen an increase. But I still can't get having to make everything I eat seem rational and justified. Like today, I felt unhealthy for eating two slices of wholemeal bread with Vegemite instead of the wholegrain muesli bar with similar calorie content. I felt as if I had wasted my calories on something less healthy, especially when I had two slices with breakfast and plan on having a sandwich at lunch.

yes, it is a thin variety of bread (two slices equals approx. 50g) but even that has me going over and over in my head what constitutes a serving, whether it matters because I probably didn't eat it for the "right" reasons (I'm the only one who eats wholemeal, so I get a loaf to myself and, since we're probably going to buy a fresh one tomorrow, I didn't want too many slices left over...which informed my choice in the end). I was hungry when I ate it, but I'm just sick of feeling guilty about one choice over the other.

Sprry for the rant...but I guess I thought this thought process would stop when i started being a bit more liberal with my food. But now, I worry that I'm going to gain the weight but either lack control with regards to "healthy eating", or stay trapped inside my own head because of my approach to eating.

Bread, much like eggs has gotten a bad rap over the years.  Depending on the type (essentially most that aren't wonder bread), they can vary from reasonable to extremely healthy.

I'm confused. so the calories are the same and the nutrition is the same? Then if you want the wheat bar thing and eat it. You can go your whole life being a healthy person without ever eating any kind of bread. If you dont like it because you feel guilty after, then dont eat it. Plain and simple. 

NO. DO NOT 'not eat it' becuase you feel guilty (or listen to people who clearly don't have a clue what they're on about.) ED's making you feel guilty - ignore him. You know it's normal to eat bread, and it's certainly very healthy to it bread, so don't let irrational ED thoughts stop you. xx

Well, I don't know how helpful this is, but I do this all the time.  All I want to eat is toast or apples or something, and then when I eat it, I feel like I've "wasted" the calories and should have had some quinoa or nuts or something more nutritious.

I don't know if my body really cares, but I hate second guessing myself.  Since I do the same thing, I can't very well tell you just not to worry about it, but the logical part of my brain can tell you that you're fine.  Having some toast is plenty nutritious, and if it's what you're craving, then you should definitely eat it!

texastiffany: This person is in recovery from an EATING DISORDER. Do you really think it's a smart idea to tell them never to eat bread, or never to eat something? THINK BEFORE YOU POST.

beccachu: Mashed is right, hun. That's your ED talking, and hey, you probably realise that. So don't listen to it, it's a stinky liar. P: Just remember, at the end of the day you can have what you want in your diet. Nothing's going to be any more or less unhealthy for you if you enjoy it all in moderation. And who cares if you have a bit more bread than usual one day? It's what you wanted and you had it, and that's what's important. :]

What I will say is, try to wean off the diet bread? Two slices of bread totalling 50g tells me that's essentially what you're eating; my usual bread loaf weighs about 50g per slice! I say this particularly as you're falling short of 2500 still - the sedentary minimum for a weight gaining girl.

Wholemeal bread is a fantastically healthy food.... loads of iron, B vitamins, fibre.  Excellent.  A muesli bar has other attributes.  When you're planning your food day in advance try to get a good variety of different foods in rather than too much of the same old 'safe' things.  Try completely new foods, have a go at new recipes, introduce new flavours.    It makes for a more interesting menu, nutritionally it'll be far superior and it could help you feel better about the whole process. 

Food is so much more than nutrients wrapped in calories..... it's a pleasure.  Try to enjoy it in all its forms.

Whoa, PMS mama.

This post didn't include that the girl is in recovery from an ED.  The response shouldn't have been offensive.  Frankly, I was confused too.  I would have said the same thing.. if you feel like you get more nutrition elsewhere, go for it.  Or you can put something even more nutritious ON the bread, like some almond or sunflower seed butter, on maybe half a slice of the bread to make you feel better about it.  That's still doing good.

Thanks everyone for your care and insight. I know I should learn to think more rationally, but it helps to have others point out the obvious. Sometimes, I just don't feel justified in eating more/gaining because I keep thinking "I don't really have a problem...it's not like you got down to 45kg or anything, is it". My mind frustrates me, I guess we all have to put up with that at some point. I just wish I felt like I was doing the right thing most of the time, instead of feeling positive about my weight gain goal, then slipping and feeling self-indulgent in that I think I'm somehow different in my way of thinking about food, and that I need to take care of myself in terms of becoming healthier a bit more actively than others.

I'm lucky to have gotten such keen insight on this board. Thanks so much xo