please read

Hello and thank you for reading first of all,

i believe im in need of some serious help here.Im afraid im trying to cope with too much and some other peoples views might just help.Ill try and list all the important info on my part.

So biographically, i have recently being battling with binge eating habits.Ive also gone through bulimic phases in the past. As of late, i have also switched back to a full normal diet, since i spent 2 years of vegetarianism and a a year+ of veganism.

I left home to study abroad for three years, thats when i changed my eating habits. I ended up loosing quite a vast amount of weight. Towards the changeover from veganism to vegetarianism(yes i did it gradually-i even went fish only first before including all meats!) i started bingeing.This has lingered on for atleast since the begining of June.

I used to be an avid cannabis user but i recently quit that & am also currently working 6 days a week full time.

I have always been into good healthy food,my mother being a very good cook, but her aswell as my father are overweight.This was also the case with me as an adolescant in combination with major acne issues.

I have realised the 3 years of living with overly health consious housemates(and the vegan vegge regime), aswell as some of the mentioned above have affected how i look at food.

I see think and feel food as calories or macronutrients. I confess i feel alot more confident being slim/lean. And that is the issue at the moment. The duration of this binge eating has lead to a fat gain issue,even thought for the past month i went to the gym 3 time a week including cardio and resistance training to gain some well needed form.

Oh and did i mention while i was studying for three years i got myself to a stage that i had very little fat and minimal muscle structure, due to a busy schedule in combination with frequent running.

I have been advised to go see a psychologist, but i feel this might not necessarily help. Im tired of this state of immense ups and downs, feeling insecure at 21 and unconfident aswell as mood swings of huge proportions. It isnt healthy but i still seem to supress my hunger for the duration of the week and weekends end up in overeating of carbohydrates and fatty foods.

Anything said would help.

thanks again

Jason

I have been advised to go see a psychologist, but i feel this might not necessarily help. Im tired of this state of immense ups and downs, feeling insecure at 21 and unconfident aswell as mood swings of huge proportions. It isnt healthy but i still seem to supress my hunger for the duration of the week and weekends end up in overeating of carbohydrates and fatty foods.

Hi Jason,  I'm not an expert by any means, but caught my attention was your comment about huge mood swings.  Have any members of your family had these same mood swings?  My concern would be is if you are trying to sabotage yourself with destructive behavior.  Binge and purge practices indicate an eating disorder.  Along with the mood swings this may be reason for you to seek a doctor for help.

Your history of smoking weed, was it to cope with problems, and a means to escape from the world?  I'd listen to those who suggested you see a psychologist.  Seeking help when you aren't sure about things in your life is good sound advise.  A professional can help put things in perspective.  If you're still in school, you can take advantage of the school psychologist to help you.  Many people seek a doctor's care when they are struggling with things.  You've taken the first step by asking for help on this site. 

Good luck

***EDIT***  Jason I have some links that you might want to look at link and link.  Overeaters Anonymous is an organization located in may cities.  I have a girlfriend who attends one.  This would be a great start for getting support and guidance.  The people there would understand what you are experiencing, because they are dealing with similar eating issues.

I hope this helps. 

Hi Jason:

Maybe you are expecting too much of yourself and constantly feel you are failing yourself.  An altered mind promotes unhealthy eating habits too because it is more difficult to make a sound decision about food when altered.  Maybe you need some protein and that also is why you are so hungry.  Learn to love who you are with flaws and all.  People who love themselves aren't so hung up on food that they would purge it or binge it or hurt themselves over it.  Do what is right for yourself and treat yourself with respect.  If you mess up, it isn't the end of the world, just keep on trying, making a little progress at a time. For every one step back make two steps forward.  Find healthy friends who don't smoke pot. I had to distance myself from friends who were taking me down with them.  I cared deeply for them, but they were keeping me from my goals I had set for myself and finally I did not want to be tempted by their lifestyles anymore and wanted better for myself.

thank you very much for taking the time to pop by and read that big load of text..

Thing is i have taken both steps, i have contacted a psychologist(actually wating for her reply call) & im no longer smoking pot.

A minor detail i missed was that i was on that for the past 4 years,abusing it over certain periods.But i never did that 'to escape the world' it was just plain amazement with the high.

I know i negate myself the ability to eat what i want, because i want to be slim more than i want to eat 'crap' food.

Crap food would mean aything with simple carbs,high fat%, sugars etc.

I eat protein just maybe not as frequently as i should. for the practicalities of packing healthy snacks at work.

I could possibly note some similarities with a close relatives mood swing issues.But im not quite sure about it.

Hah and i definately expect too mucha out of everything,im a manic perfectionist. Ive been trying to kick this habot for the better half of this year, and im ont he verge of breaking.

Thanks again

Jason

A lot of people feel how you feel about stuff. I don't find it unusual in the least.  I speak from experience when I talk about not punishing yourself if you fail sometimes or even a LOT of times.  No one is perfect.  I've made plenty of mistakes about all sorts of things in my life but can see when I look back that I have made more and more positive choices as time has gone on.  I have learned to say "oh well" and then try again. I used to be disorganized and now I'm neater, but not super neat.  I used to not give people my full attention when they would speak, now I am conscious of it and trying to really be there in the moment and listen but sometimes I fall right back into the selfish act of not listening.  And on and on it goes.  Little self improvements carry you a long way over time if you forgive yourself for yesterday.  At 21 I binge ate too.  I got out of it by exercising a whole lot.  I am now 46 and doing that kind of thing doesn't even occur to me.  Something changed. I call it intentional self improvement over time; changing my perspective.  Someone my age looks at you and thinks of your body as brand new. Take really good care of it.