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16.3 bmi?! i'm not sure what to do!! PLEASE help.

so, i have tried recovering on my own a few times in the past. each time i get over 105 (around 107) i freak out and starve myself back down to 100 or a bit lower.

i am a 22 year old female and i'm 5'5" and 98 pounds right now. my lowest was 92 pounds. i just calculated my bmi and it is 16.3 and honestly i am a bit scared. i am pretty boney but honestly i don't think i look anorexic (just a little bit thinner than is healthy) so i don't think most people think i have a problem but i have been staying 92-107 for years now and i'm scared about the long term health consequences.

i don't restrict much anymore either. i used to eat 500- 1,000 and now i eat 900-1,400. some days i almost even eat normal. but i am so scared of gaining weight. i was even thinking to myself just a day or so ago that i could stand to lose a few more pounds. but the truth is i just want to be happy being at a healthy weight. but i can't!! my mind refuses to believe that a healthy weight looks good on me.

i don't have the money for treatment. i live on my own, have no health insurance and i make just enough money to cover my living expenses.

i really need suggestions. what should i do? how much should i eat? how much should i gain? how should i do this without freaking out and starving myself back down to this weight? please help.

hi, i know its hard to hear, but u are underweight and need to gain weight. to help u see this maybe look at other people ur weight and height and see what u think of them. Forget about physical appearance and focus on a different perspective-your health. Your body isnt happy underweight, u are putting extra strain on all your organs and your heart, your bodily functions will all shut down if u continue to lose weight, do you still have your cycle? Being underweight isnt just about being skinny looking, its also a physical danger. You only get one body and it is a gift, think of all the things it CAN enable you to do, write, run, dance, give someone a hug. Its your temple, how do you want to treat it?(Forgetting about the physical appearance of it). If someone said to you you could either be a healthy weight and happy or severly underweight and severly unhappy, which would u choose-keeping in mind that the latter answer wont last long, as (being blunt), you wont either-the body can only take so much. I hope this isnt too harsh, but for me , looking at my body like it was a small child i needed to take care of has helped me to take care of it-im not saying its easy, but its worth it and gets easier. Hope this helps. xxxx

hi, (:

i cant answer your questions, because i am in the exact same position as you are right now. i just want to let you know you are not alone in the process. i know exactly how wanting to be happy in your own skin feels like, and although it is what you desire, for some ungodly reason, ED doesn't accept it. It really sucks.

I know, this probably hasn't helped you at all, but I just wanted o let you know that there are others out there asking the same questions, and the support is always here. x

If you are in college, there is likely a health center at the school. Go there today.

If not, please call this phone number and ask for how to find a place near to you where you can get free or extremely low cost help with your eating disorder - Mental Health America 1-800-969-6642.

Please do not delay. They can help.

hey girlie! sounds like you're in a tough situation! how do your parents feel about this? or have you not told them anything?if you can find someone to talk through your issues that would be the first step... other wise here are some of my tips (and simply answering your questions)...

*How Much Should You Eat: you need to eat 1200 to 2000 calories per day - DO NOT dip below 1200 calories! I promise if you eat healthy unprocessed foods the weight that you do put on will be healthy and your body will be thanking you! Eat loads of healthy fats found in olives & olive oil, fish, flaxseeds & flaxseed oil, rice bran, hemp seeds and seeds... Also fill up on non-starchy fiber rich vegetables (I am sure you know what those are by now! ha ha) and get your fill of lean yet high quality protein from salmon, chicken breast, tuna, eggs, etc... eggs and canned salmon, tuna & chicken are all of reasonable price so they won't put a huge dent in your spending.

*How Much Should You Gain: well I have read many places that at 5 feet a person should weigh 100 pounds and then go up five pounds for each inch... but I don't want to preach something that I don't really follow... but I do believe that you should gain 10 pounds! Being 108 at 5'5'' is still relatively thin BUT since you're so scared to gain weight, putting on 10 pounds for now and stabilizing there for a while may be a good thing for you... and when you start to feel comfortable at that weight then you can start thinking about putting on 3 to 5 more pounds.

*How Should I Do This Without Freaking out/Starving: if you tell a few friends, family members or a counselor on campus you should be able to do this easier than going it alone. Being able to vent about your concerns and problems is one of the key factors in surmounting your problems! That way you yourself can hear OUT LOUD what you want and realize that what your saying is what you need to survive and live a healthy life. You should also try and fill your day with activities that take your mind off of your body, appearance and food issues - doing this will definitely help you feel less CRAZY OBSESSED about starving & weight.

-- You should seek help though, I know you don't have a lot of money to spare - so why not research and find out where there may be some groups that meet for free about the issues relating to you - and I am pretty sure a counselor on campus wouldn't charge you a CENT! Just do a little research about school options - I know my school has TONS of help services, etc - which I am sure all schools have. And if oddly your school doesn't then you must confine in a VERY close friend or a parent or a sibling so then they can help you find someone you can get help from or they can give you guidance through this!

I hope things get better I really do because there is nothing worse than feeling as if you're trapped in your very opinionated mind!

Original Post by yielding_to_gravity:

i really need suggestions. what should i do? how much should i eat? how much should i gain? how should i do this without freaking out and starving myself back down to this weight? please help.

 You need to start by getting hold of the money to see a doctor...   Surely you have relatives you can ask?  Friends you can borrow from?  Credit cards? Are there charities you can approach?  Money comes and goes but you only get one shot at life... and that's it.

Everyone can give you lots of good advice on what to eat and how much but that last part about 'without freaking out' is going to be really difficult to get past without professional help.  You don't even think you look too thin but you obviously are because you're seriously underweight.  It's a phobia, an eating disorder, delusional depression, body dysmorphia, a mental block... whatever you want to call it... and it's treatable. Left untreated, you're going to have a shortened and miserable life.

You need 2500 cals a day minimum every day from now on and, if you're 5'5", your minimum healthy weight is about 120lbs.