Poor or priviledged or in between

What were family finances like when you were growing up?  How did that effect your future? 

As you were growing up what did you expect from the future and did you get it?

I grew up poor.  I never even heard the word college until high school.  I had a vague sense that it was out there but college was not part of the family dynamic.  Yes, this effected my future.  I never expected more of myself than the least I could  do to get through school and be done.  It took me years and years to mature and figure out how to navigate life.  I still flounder in the eddies from time to time.

But I now live in a college town and I see so many kids who grew up privileged that think they are OWED everything without effort.  It makes me a little angry to see the wasted opportunities  and arrogant belief that everything is easy.

What is your take?

I think I got to experience it all.  My parents had me and the brother before they were 17.  So...we lived with my grandma, mom and her five siblings until I was 5.  My mom was then 21 and worked hard.  We were then in between until I was about 12.  At 13, they divorced and remarried.  Again, we were poor until they got back on their feet.  Apparently, finally being happy did something for both of them.  Both ended up with ridiculous paying jobs.  It really didn't change things for me though.  My brother was always the baby.  I had to pay my parents back with 2% interest for my first car.  He got the 66 Nova (free) that my dad had restored.  I had my car for four years.  He trashed his quick.  They helped him get a loan for the next one and the next one.

I went to college and paid for it.  He didn't.  I have a decent life where things get tough from time to time but always work out.  His life sucks.  I wouldn't want to be him.  He's always needing help.

Each parent had more kids much later...and all of them are being raised like my brother.  They're all sorry excuses for human IMO.

Up until I was 13, I was privileged. We had it all. Cable TV, computers, if I THOUGHT a smidgen away from homeless. We had to move, I lost alot of stuff, and that experience.. of going from Riches to Rags was.. hard, honestly.

I can't say it made me more responsible, fiscally. I learned that lesson the hard way. But... it is, I guess.

Poor. Lived in a half-wide trailer until I was 4. Dad built a simple block house with his brother for us. (lots of tornadoes in our area). My grandmother made most of our clothes. We never had chips/snacks/cookies in the house.

No money for college. I didn't get any scholarships so I tried to pay my way through; had a kid/single mom; met hubby in his last 2 years of college - went back to finish but still didn't make it.

OTOH, my sister DID get scholarships, and she went to college for her bachelors. Went back for her masters. Still paying off her loans, AND I MAKE MORE MONEY THAN HER. It still baffles me, its not fair. She is the one that makes a difference in peoples lives, not me. But that's not a big money maker. Its just not right. (although I do enjoy making money, heh. I even made more than hubby when we moved here; he was a financial planner. Go figure. Now he's in construction and making barely more than me. Atlanta is a good place to be an AA)

I wasn't taught much about finances and money. So I'm learning from hubby, since his family did teach him. He started poor but due to hard work and smart savings/investing, they are now very well off (but living below their income, SMART).  They had money saved for his (and his 2 sisters) college.

I expected to finish school and go into teaching. After working at a preschool for a year, I changed my mind. (got too attached to the kids and too emotional to handle it) just after that, we moved to atlanta and I HAD to get a job.

My grandmother STILL wants me to go back to school to be a pediatrician.

I feel like I learned a lot about being down to earth from this. Learned how to have fun without something having fun for me. I would take batteries out of toys that people would gift to my son. I made HIM do the fun, instead of just watching a toy have fun for him. I think that's important to a child's growth. I learned values that aren't attached to money. I learned that money isn't everything.

(this may also explain why I'm so easily amused!)

I'm finding it hard to be motivated to go back and even finish the AA. Not having it hasn't hindered me. 95% of my interviews result in a job. (knock on wood hehe)

We are better off than when I was a kid, but we're still struggling to keep our heads above water. I don't want the boy to have to get a full time job to get through college.

But he WILL have to pay some of his way; he WILL have to buy his own car.

Very poor growing up. Funny how poor is relative though. I knew people worse off than us, so it didn't seem as bad. But, looking back, I know it was still rough.

Hubby's family is mid-upper class. We married youngish, finished college by working our way through and scholarships. Even though his family had the means to help, he was on his own.

Now, I'm a sahm due to my son having special needs, primarily. We have four kids and are mid-income. We struggle with managing money but are getting better. I have hang-ups from my childhood like making sure the pantry is stocked. Also, there are indugences I never had much as a kid that I want my kids to enjoy and I feel guilt that we can't always provide them. But they are understand we have to make choices.  Overall, life is good.

grew up far from rich, but never poor. my parents are both blue collar. i lived in a small little house, never had fancy clothes or things. never went on vacations that weren't a car ride away.

i definitely had everything i needed though! there was always plenty of food in the house, and dinner on the table each night.

the problem is, my parents are so frugal, and my dad is SO focused on money all the time, that i feel like it takes a lot of the enjoyment out of life for him. it's definitely affected me. it's like they feel like life can't be good without more money, instead of just appreciating what they do have. i often have to talk myself out of stressing over money when i don't really need to.    

they did encourage me to go to college, and helped me as much as they could. but i think sometimes they were more concerned with me doing it as a way to have money and less as a way to learn and find a career i loved. and here i am in a corporate job making good money, but dreaming about the day i get the F out of here!

Hm, privileged, I guess.  We always had plenty of the necessities, and a house.  Both parents had good jobs.  I've always been a goodwill shopper, but that's more by choice...and I was growing up in the 90's, when shabby clothes were a signifier for integrity of the soul and intellect, or so Kurt Cobain had me convinced. 

I paid for my own school with scholarships and never had a car until I was 25.  I biked everywhere.  I really miss it, too!  Now we live so far from our jobs that I have to either drive or take the bus.  But we're moving next year and I plan on changing that!

I grew up on a farm with 3 siblings. We weren't rich, or even middle class, but I have to say we never ran out of anything. I wasn't deprived. My parents were really frugal (they had a garden, they made homemade halloween outfits, only home cooking, etc) so it was alright. They also had a college account for each of us that would cover about 4 yrs of uni (Canada) so that's pretty impressive really.

Most of the people in the area were the same so I didn't feel out of place. Obviously when I got to uni I really noticed the 'rich kids' but I don't really mind. I know the value of money, and I'm glad I learned it.

Grew up lower middle class, but there was always enough to get by. 
We lived with my grandparents until I was four.  They owned a farm and it was a great way to grow up.  We moved into a trailer for two years while parents saved up for a house and moved to the city.  Things were tight, but we always had food and a roof over our heads.
After my mom died, my dad was nowhere to be found.  I was passed around from relative to relative, so I grew up in many different income households, but had no real security as I was always the outsider.  I had nothing but my clothes for my own for a long time.  You learn very fast not to get attached to physical belongings when you never know when you were going to be moving again.  At 16 I did not know that I could have applied for student wefare and lived on my own, if I had things might have been a whole lot different in my life.

What did I expect out of the future.  To get married to a man that worked and be a stay at home mom.  Didn't happen, I worked full time and went to school and raised my girls with no help from him.

I raised my girls on minimum wage by myself.  They never lacked for anything because any programs that were cheap or free, they were signed up for.  They never had a clue that we were poor until they grew up and left the house.  Again they always had a safe place to live and food in their tummies.  Clothes might have been second hand most of the time, but they survived.

I guess I grew up rather priveleged.  My dad was an engineer during an oil boom, so about kindergarten we bought a nice middle class starter home.  But then he got laid off.  He started working on oil rigs just so we could keep the house.  I remember buying dented cans because they were cheaper.  We wore a lot of hand downs from my cousins - always had holes in the knees of my jeans.

My parents still managed to send me and my brother to a private school, but mom worked there as a secretary, so perhaps there was a discount.  Finally, he got laid off of even the blue collar work, found a job, and we moved, but had a hard time selling the house.  I think they ended up just letting the bank have it.

I always knew I would go to college, and in high school, I think my parents and I had a misconception of how much it would cost.  I had saved birthday and christmas money my entire life, and that was blown the first semester.  I had a partial scholarship, and worked part time, and the rest was paid for in loans.  My parents paid for my car, insurance, and gas - that's pretty much it, though it was a lot.

I worked for a career that I thought would help with raising kids, that I could do in the schools, that I could take time off.  But I wanted to stay home with them - the career was a backup plan.  I waited to have kids until I had my full certification.

It wasn't easy, even with the benefits I had.  I had to learn how to take care of myself.  That was (and still is) hard.

I suppose you'd say I was pretty poor. However, I never knew it until I was older. My mother was very good at keeping everything together and neither I nor my 3 siblings ever wanted for anything. Yeah, I didn't have a personalized tote from LL Bean like some of my friends, but I didn't need one....

I grew up in an upper class family.  My father had/has a white collar job and from the time my older brother was born, my mom was able to stay at home with us.  I went to private Catholic school my whole life (high school was all girls, and yes, we wore kilts).  While my family could afford practically anything I wanted, it wasn't handed to me.  I started babysitting when I was 13.  I also worked at the school concession stand during soccer and baseball games.  I also learned to be a volleyball scorekeeper and referee.  These little things allowed me to learn some responsibility and make money.  From the time I was 16 I had a job.  I worked usually around 20 hours a week, if not more, while going to school.  I had a nice used car, but I paid the insurance on it, as well as the gas.  When I went to college I worked as well.  My parents also made me take out loans to make sure that I had a stake in my own education. 

My parents might be rich, but they never act like it.  We have nice stuff, but I was never just given anything I wanted.  When we went clothes shopping, we bought things on sale. 

This is mostly the doing of my father.  He is INCREDIBLY frugal.  He even proudly refers to himself as cheap.  I, in turn, am a very frugal person.  Granted, my husband and I are pretty poor, but we have what we need and I am content.  I am glad that my parents didn't spoil me.  Spoiling children only harms the children.

Poor as dirt. Or maybe poorer than dirt? We had crackers for meals!

And once, someone stole our rose bush. IT WAS THE ONE AWESOME THING WE HAD!!! And someone dug it out, with a shovel (!!!!), in the middle of the night!!

I don't know why that's relevant, but it bothered me that someone would go that far for a bush... from a family that didn't even have a car!

We didn't have a phone because we'd get calls all day from billing companies. We had to move a lot growing up because of the inability to pay bills. Oh and my stepdad made a little bit (like $500) over the amount allowed to get on welfare, so we couldn't get free lunches or anything in school either. Stupid system.

I'm gonna say I grew up exactly in the middle.

My dad was in the military and my mom worked a part time job to help with the finances a little. We lived in military housing, never were short for food, and got everything we asked for really.  I say exactly in the middle because little did I know..we got everything we asked for because of CREDIT CARDS

When I was 13 my parents divorced and thats when I really became aware of what  a dollar was worth. We moved into a crappy apartment complex until we got lucky and found a nice house in a nice neighborhood for 450 a month. We didnt get what we wanted all the time, but my mom made sure that we had what we needed. She worked her butt off, and still does to put me and my brother through college so we can focus on our school.

I've had a job since i was 16 so I could always provide for myself, but ididnt have everything I wanted. I dont have a nice car, I dont have an xbox, I dont have a cool CD player. I have the bare minimal of every "luxury" i guess you could say.

I would say it has helped me put my future into perspective because I KNOW i have to work my butt off to get where I need to be, but I also have enough help to get there. I'm lucky that I dont have to go through what some people go through to build a  future, I have help . But I also know how to work hard and save what I get .

Can I just add how much I dislike people who get free lunch, free housing, free food, free this, free that.. yet their moms still have enough to buy them a touch screen phone, brand new clothes, 20 pairs of shoes, and all this good stuff.

ugh

I grew up upper-middle-class-to-rich. I ended up being very irresponsible with money. My family did go through some rough times, though, after I'd finished high school.

I worry about my parents' financial futures.

I am way better with money now.

Original Post by se1289:

Can I just add how much I dislike people who get free lunch, free housing, free food, free this, free that.. yet their moms still have enough to buy them a touch screen phone, brand new clothes, 20 pairs of shoes, and all this good stuff.

 

ugh

Yes... me too.

Grew up lower middle class. Money was always tight and my mother never made more than a smidge over minimum wage. We had a decent house and running cars though but things like nice clothes and crap-no

I grew up never wanting to be my mother-having to stay in a crappy marriage for financial reasons. I paid for my own college and have done very well for myself

Grew up poor. Result? Terrified of poverty, thus, racking up degrees to stave it off. Will it work? Who knows.

I guess...I grew up in the middle, a little on the poor side? Not that I knew it. My mom, grandmother, aunt, and great aunt all lived in the same house, and we were happy. We didn't have a lot of stuff, but I knew I was going to college, because my family held standards and, because of the area I lived in, I knew what was waiting for me if I failed. I just didn't want it. And my mom really wanted me to experience alot so, when she had the money, she took me places and gave me a good childhood.

We did move to a better neighborhood when I was in middle school, and we still had hard times, but my mom didn't really tell me about it because 1: I didn't ask for anything, so it's not like I was pestering her and, 2: I was a kid. Wasn't my business. Still isn't, though I've forced myself to be involved.

The result? I'm a freakish penny pincher. I have hang ups on spending money that last for weeks after the purchase and have many panic attacks about the cost of my college expenses. My mom gets worried sometimes. XD

I think it's all good.8)

Started out middle-class, then my folks got divorced and my mom and I (and my brother) experienced a fairly sharp decline in standard of living. Still not poor (my mom was a nurse working at a temp agency), always had food and shelter etc, but buying clothes at the Salvation Army and bargain stores, getting teased at school because of it. I started working at age 14. Dad did give me a bit of financial support for university (the first time I went) - it was enough to pay rent and about half of my food. I worked two-three jobs at a time for the tuition, books and spending money. He cut me off after four years even though I had switched programs and needed another year to graduate... so I took out a loan for the last year. I returned to school later without any parental financial aid and am now in med school, the first doctor in the family.

I guess in ways non-financial I considered myself middle-class. It was always assumed that all three of us would go to university, and we did. Books and ideas were valued in the home.

I won't hide the fact that I chose medicine, in part, because it offers financial security. I am terrified that my future kids will grow up spoiled from the privilege though...I see that ALL around me in my program, people who have no idea about the reality of financial struggle and can't relate to anyone who isn't like them. I guess the best antidote will be the fact that all our friends are middle-class or working-class (teachers, office workers, retail staff, etc.) and I want to send my kids to public school... I also have no intention of buying a huge house or expensive car like my colleagues do. I'd rather spend money on yearly travel, and have lots left over for retirement etc..