Pornography... AAAAH!!

Can someone tell me if i am overreacting please....my fiance is always looking at pornography and it really hurts my feelings it makes me feel like he needs more than i can give him. I really dont get it, because everyone tells me that i am very pretty and i think so too, so why does he have to look at these stupid sluts in magazines, dvds, and the internet?? The worst part is he hides it from me and it damages our intimate relationship!!

I just read in the newspaper wher people write in for advice that some woman was having a similar problem and the response was "like it or not, most men look at porn, get over it" i thought that was disgusting!! I dont think it ias right to ask me to get over it, i feel like he is cheating on me, am i overreacting??

I would really like responses especially from men, do most men really do this?

post pictures please. :) not to sound like an asshole

truthfully...once a month, at your age, is not the norm...who told you that?

*nods* At your age, you should be humpin like bunnies.. at least once a week, possibly more :)

You know, a man not wanting to have sex with his partner isn't always about whether she is pretty or not. A lot of factors can strain the relationship which in turn can strain your sex life.

i was just thinking that, I am 19 and i expect it WAAY more than once a month, I settle for 3 or 4 times a week.

How long have you been together?

Oh i know tlily {{{{}}}} but I just wanted to get my superficial views out of the way first, and see how hot she is :D

Really...like what?

we've been together 3 years and i will post a pic shortly i only have one....ok so i'm not HOT ok but i'm not ugly

There's alot of reasons.

How's your relationship?

tlily is referring to work/ money issues / credit issues. . . . etc  Do you currently live together?

Work stress. Children stress. Financial problems. Lack of communication. Anything that gets you fighting a lot, or snapping all the time, or being emotionally unavailable, that kind of thing.

Ok, I'll admit that I have no idea why men looking at porn bothers so many women.  I also want to make it clear that I think a porn addiction is very very different from looking at porn (even if it is with some regularity).  If somebody is addicted to porn or anything else for that matter it's a problem and they should try to seek help.

Most guys I know have looked at porn, whether they will admit it or not.  It usually has absolutely nothing to do with the girl they are seeing.  They've actually done studies that have found that guys tend to be stimulated more visually while women are more able to get stimulation from fantasy without the aid of visuals (this doesn't apply for everyone, it's just a generalization).

Anyway, all that said, I do think you guys have a problem.  That problem isn't that he looks at porn.  The issue is that he does spmething that really bothers you and he tries to hide it from you.  If you have talked to him about it and he completely disregards your feelings about it and still does it behind your back, you really need to think about what you're getting yourself into.  You really do need to talk to him about this.  Maybe he can reassure you that his looking at porn has absolutely nothing to do with any dissatisfaction with you, then again, maybe not, but at least you'll know where you both stand.

We have none of those problems we've always been open to eachother the only thing we fight about is porn

And how big a fight is porn? How often do you fight? Once a day? Once a week? Once a month?

Sammi please quantify porn addiction. . . *embarrased*

well actually lilsammi is right, we fight more about the fact that i dislike something and he does it anyway...and about twice a month

if he didn't do it infront of you would it bother you?

Maybe he's having a hard time getting/keeping an erection, and is embarrassed.   Or maybe there's something else going on in your relationship, where he doesn't feel comfortable or being intimate.

Sammi also makes a lot of good points as well.  I agree with what she said. 

Double post

Have you talked to him about watching it together?  Maybe trying to tie it in with your intimate times?

I'm all for porn.  But my partner and I share our enjoyment.  We make it a together thing rather than a single thing.  There's all kinds of porn out there, maybe you could find some that both get you going...

just a thought.