Pornography... AAAAH!!

Can someone tell me if i am overreacting please....my fiance is always looking at pornography and it really hurts my feelings it makes me feel like he needs more than i can give him. I really dont get it, because everyone tells me that i am very pretty and i think so too, so why does he have to look at these stupid sluts in magazines, dvds, and the internet?? The worst part is he hides it from me and it damages our intimate relationship!!

I just read in the newspaper wher people write in for advice that some woman was having a similar problem and the response was "like it or not, most men look at porn, get over it" i thought that was disgusting!! I dont think it ias right to ask me to get over it, i feel like he is cheating on me, am i overreacting??

I would really like responses especially from men, do most men really do this?

klm, personally, i have no problem whatsoever with my man looking at porn. in fact i've been known to join in the watching myself from time to time. BUT, if you think he is choosing porn over real live sex with you, then THAT is a problem.

men jerk off, majority of them look at porn, but the majority also would never turn down a willing real live partner for a dirty mag or video. he may have a problem, and if you are going to marry this guy, i'd suggest some type of counseling. this has NOTHING to do with your looks. this man wants to marry you, he obviously loves and finds you attractive, and it's not as if he can leave you and go marry a porn star ya know? i think counseling before the wedding is in order here.

He may have a problem, an actual addiction. This may be compounded by the fact that Kim makes him feel guilty about how much he loves porn.

It may be that porn is pretty important to him and his costant fighting with Kim is turning him off to Kim BIG TIME.

Really, Kim needs to have this conversation with fiancee.

i couldnt watch it, i've treid looking at different types of porn to see what he is so interseted in, but i find it repulsive

Why is it repulsing? Whats the difference between you and him having sex, and someone else having sex on a video camera?  I bet you don't like the idea of swinging do you?

Unfortunately, it may be time to rethink your relationship.  Arguments are fine, but if you fight this frequently about it...could you handle this for the rest of your life? 

i do, i mean we dont really fight fight, just little arguments, i ask him why he likes it so much, and why he is not intersted in me anymore, but he doesnt really have an answer for me, we're not blowing up at eachother, i just dont get it

um....no dew lol i dont, and the difference is...im pretty sure the people in pornography have no emotional attatchment, and honestly i find them to be sluttly and permiscous

Maybe sex means two completely different things to both of you.  I've dated many women that are into "making love".... I love to "make love" but I also like to "fuck".  During the latter times "love" means absolutely nothing to me.

If you can't handle this for the rest of your life (ie marriage), then I strongly urge you to rethink.

Not all porn stars are the way you view them though.  Just an fyi.... 

Kim doesn't care for Porn. That's a given and it's fine. We don't need to ask why. :)

Kim, I understand your frustration. I'd be frustrated in your shoes too. It would bother me totally if my fiancee were more interested in porn than me and I'd probably begin to worry that it's because of me.

It sounds like MAYBE it's him, or possibly the both of you.

Regardless, if the situation is intolerable, and he's not willing to change or fix it, I agree with tatjana that it might be time to rethink this relationship.

EVERYONE has a right to have his or her needs met, including Physically.

ok, now this might be a little much for you klm, but have you made any efforts to spice things up? maybe instead of harping on him about the porn, just get something really sexy to wear and just come strolling out of the bedroom in it (when your kid isn't home of course hehe). or get some kind of massage oil, a new "toy", something flavored... something to put the spark back into things. if he isn't receptive to THAT, then you have a problem.

and remember, you can very discreetly order "adult novelties" online these days. no trip to the sex shop needed. keep in mind, these things aren't dirty or bad. you are in a loving relationship with your future husband, you guys are young, you should be having fun and enjoying each other!

to further ellaborate on my last statement.  This even includes the monogamous relationships I've been in.  If I can't screw like a bunny and just have sex with no emotional attachment and just have gratification of getting me and my lover off. . . I can't be with the person.

This has been the topic of fight between me and my fiance many, many times. The big problem is that I am insecure, and when he looks at porn it makes me feel like he is "settling" for me when he'd rather have a girl that looks like that. I know that's not true, but it still feel like it is. We talked about it, and he's given it up. He hates how it upsets me. He said it never really had to do with horniness for him anyway. He said its more like, its there, and he just couldn't help it, like a compulsion. It was also a result of him being single for so long before me, and it was sort of a bad habit.

He loves me enough to stop, and I reward him for it. :)

hk, trying to understand her disgust with porn helps me understand what she may or may not be doing for him in the bedroom.  If it were me, i quite possibly couldn't be with her, if I was in her shoes strictly from a sexual prospective.

ok not to sound nasty....but i have tried everything....i have sooo many sexy little outfits that i think most guys would like, when i wear them he looks and says...wow you look nice and then goes on to do what he was doing....do you have any idea how much that hurts..i've posted a pic of both my face and body now :(

ok again not to sound nasty...but i guess you could say i am "a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets" lol i would do anything, and i he knows that....i like making love of course, but not all the time, that would be boring

Personally if I found the "ONE" that does it for me.  If she asked me to stop masturbating by myself or looking at porn. . . I would.  I don't see this happening anytime soon though. *lol*

dew we don't care if you don't find her behavior or anything else about this woman attractive. You are not the guy she is dating.

I need to see these pictures, because at this point this guy just sounds crazy to me.

Excuse me "princess" but she asked in the beginning for others opinions and views.  Please no hating on people. . .