Portion control, Motivation, and Emotional eating oh my!

Those three subjects have always been the reasons for my weight loss downfalls in the past and they won't go away! I've managed to lose weight in the past but I look back and it feels like motivation suddenly appeared on my doorstep hung around for a while and then flew away and I've been stuck ever since!

Learning to control my portions of food has been an ongoing struggle for years. Just the other day I figured the caloric value of a lasagna I had made and realised that the 'normal' portion I would have eaten in an average sitting was over 700 calories, and that a 400 calorie serving left me not hungry at all but I didn't have that 'full' feeling that seems to relax me. Why?

Motivation to work out and invest energy in counting calories and keeping up food journals lasts at most a week or two if I'm excited about it. I'm surprised that I'm still visiting this site quasi-regularly (maybe that's a good sign!). But for whatever reason I'll workout 2 or 3 or 4 days in a row and I'll suddenly miss one day and not continue. Any tricks? I tell myself I shouldn't miss a single day to begin with (alternating workouts of course) since starting again is a problem for me.

Oh and then there's emotional eating. I guess this goes hand in hand with portion control since many times I'll serve myself an extra portion or an extra large portion as a gift to myself if i'm happy or sad, or stressed. (could this be psycological dating back to my childhood?) As mentioned above I think I use food to relax.

Can anyone else relate to these habits or topics? How have you overcome them, and if you're trying something currently that's working for you (for now) what is it and what's your feedback?

I think the missing element is 'enjoyment'.  Counting calories and keeping food journals is a dreary old business whichever way you look at it.  Hamster-on-a-wheel exercise for the sake of exercise ditto.  And if you're not getting pleasure out of healthy food or exercise, you'll look for it in alternatives.

My suggestion would be to sit down and plan your whole week....   A menu and and exercise programme.   Three meals a day, a few snacks, half an hour of activity.  Write it down in black and white and pin it where you can see it.   The criteria (as well as hitting the calories) has to be that it is as fun and enjoyable as you can possibly make it.   The food has to be delicious, satisfying and not ho-hum... so dig out some recipes from the database and try something exciting.   (Add several servings of veggies to the lasagne next time... more filling)  The exercise has to be something you actually enjoy doing.... what would that be?  Being better organised and having a blueprint to work with might mean you stick with it for once.   It worked for me...

It takes about 1 - 2 weeks for healthy-eating and exercise to start positively affecting your energy levels and your mood.  Then you'll feel more motivated and enthusiastic.   It takes about 4 - 6 weeks to get into a good healthy eating & exercise habit.   Once you get past the 6 week stage you'll find it comes a lot more naturally and you don't have to think about it too much. 

Motivation: everyone has their own, and needs to find their own.  Mine is to do better in competitive swimming, to look/feel better about myself, and lastly, I have family gatherings coming up, as well as a trip to florida when I will be wearing a bikini, and I want to make sure I look good for them!

Exercise:  Find a class and join.  Find other people who will notice when you just stop coming.  And it seems to me that you are doing the all-or-nothing approach in those terms.  Pick two days off, take them off, but stick to the other days, whether you feel like it or not.

Portion Control: I have found that since I've started this, my stomach has shrunk (or something) and that now, what used to just leave me "not hungry" actually fills me up. granted, its only for about an hour, but its still that satisfying full feeling, and it happens after about 500-600 calories (which for me is less than 1/3... I aim for 1800-2000)

Emotional Eating- I do this as well. Now, I try to recognize the fact that I want to eat emotionally, and verbally tell myself that I don't need to do that anymore.

Hi gi-jane, thanks for the great advice!

What you said about the time frame to create new habits and also the time frame before I start feeling the effects is great. I'll have to keep that in mind to stay motivated.

Hello tyrdrop, thanks for the tricks you use. Good advice as well, I'll try that technique of talking myself through times where I feel the need to resort to food for comfort.

I've got the portion control and the motivation (usually), but what can really screw me over is emotional eating.  I didn't even realize I had it because I am not really an emotional person in general (things will bother/annoy me, but I don't stress over it, I just basically chill unless things go really bad) but yesterday... yesterday was a terrible day.  Probably one of the worst since I started school.  I KNOW I binged.  They gave me this giant piece of salmon for dinner and I sat there saying, I'm going to eat this whole damn salmon, because I'm damn freaking upset.  So I did.  Then I had a Kashi bar, rice cakes, and mandarin oranges.  So I was waaaay over the cals.  Anyway, I can only be grateful that I never get upset like this so it was pretty much a one-time deal.  And maybe it'll confuse my metabolism or something, I dunno.  Not counting on it, though.

And gijane is like the forum god.

Stella,

I can totally empathise with everything you said. Perhaps having someone to check-in with might benefit us both?

Would you be interested in that at all?

stella, you have described ME to a T!!!

gi-jane, that is some great advice.

it's so hard to get to the two-to-three week point where you start to feel the affects of your weight loss strides (portion control, gym, and healthy eating)

I can't manage to do it for more then a few days, then BAM!  off the wagon.  I think my problem is getting so uber-serious that I completely neglect my cravings then boom!  I'll eat a whole box of cookies on my way home from the supermarket and hide the package under the seat so my DH doesn't see it.  yikes!

Original Post by stellaluna78:

 I tell myself I shouldn't miss a single day to begin with (alternating workouts of course) since starting again is a problem for me.

The above is what grabbed my attention.  Actually, it has been proven that your body does benefit from at least one day of rest; it gives your muscles a chance to heal, and it also helps keep your metabolism from stalling (your metabolism gets used to too much activity just like it gets used to too little.)  So thinking that you have to hit the gym or workout every single day is not entirely correct.

I think that might be part of your challenge - if you tell yourself that YOU MUST!!! workout every day, and then miss a day for whatever reason, then you feel like you've failed, so what's the point in continuing?  That sort of thinking will set you up for failure, because most people simply can't do something every single day.  Life is always going to throw curveballs, whether you catch the flu, or have social or work obligations that eat up all the time in your day, or feel just plain tired, or whatever. 

Another poster recommended planning out your week, and I wholeheartedly agree with that - not only in terms of what you're eating, but for your activities as well - and plan a day of rest for yourself.  If you simply can't allow yourself to do nothing for that day, then do something very low impact that's not the same as your usual workouts, like a walk around the mall or neighborhood, or yoga, or something like that.

The same thing - giving yourself a break - can work with food as well.  Many people around the forum will tell you that depriving yourself for too long will be the fastest way to a binge or a bad food day.  For example - if you really love lasagna and want that larger helping, then plan for it.  Do an extra-long workout on lasagna day, or eat lighter earlier in the day to save up your calories.  Having that extra helping of lasagna once in a great while won't hurt you. 

That being said, I totally understand where you're coming from on portion control and emotional eating, they were my two biggest challenges as well.  Once I got over the emotional part, the portion control part became easier.  It was hard, but I did it, I really just had to force myself to consider why I was putting food in my mouth.

Anyway, good luck!  And remember, just because you might stumble doesn't mean you have to stay down forever.

Edited to add:  I realize I didn't really answer your questions and just sort of rambled...but I think if you allow yourself the occasional break and let yourself enjoy things every once in a while, it makes it easier to want to stick to the program. :)

Yes, portion control was a big issue for me.  I was so thin growing up, and a healthy weight most of my adult life, so I never thought about what I ate.  I had an appetite like a field hand. 

Then menopause hit and the pounds just piled on.  I dieted off and on for years, doing the yo-yo thing - lose and gain back more, until I was 225 pounds.

I've been measuring my portions and logging my food here at CC since January 2005 when I was 215 pounds.  So far I've lost 40 pounds and it's taken me this long to do it.  (weight chart in my profile)

I now find that instead of the huge portions of pasta I used to love, I can now eat only the reccomended 2 oz (dry wght) that I've been measuring out for so long.  If it's any comfort, I no longer have the problem of eating too much.  You can change your habits if you keep at it long enough.  I'd say it takes 6 months for a new habit to become ingrained.

I didn't try to do this all at once, but tackled one problem food at a time.

I'm unable to work out because of medical problems (mostly unrelated to weight) so I did it all with controlling my diet.

The emotional eating came under control when I learned to be satisfied with my smaller amount of food.  It still rears up if I'm really stressed, so I make a plan to indulge in something like chocolate, log the calories and let the chips (yum) fall where they may.

You can do this, just be patient with yourself and don't set unrealistic goals.

I can relate to everything you've said.  I think the biggest hurdle for me was admiting to myself and family that I was an emotional eater.  I also had to train myself to use the excuse that if I fail one or two days I should give up until some later time, sam with excercise. 

I caught myself the other day upset and the first thing I thought of was what I could eat.  It really shocked me since I've been dieting for three and a half months. Luckily reason kicked in and I knew if I gave in I'd undo everything I was working towards and would continue to be unhappy.

What I've done to try to counter the chance or random eating is to plan out my meals for two weeks at a time.  I do improvise sometimes but for the most part I know what I'll be eating and know if I have calories for extras or not. I weight and measure everything and maybe I'm weird but I find it fun doing that and tracking my calories and progress.

As far as excercise, the only thing I'm really doing is walking on the weekend and playing Wii Fit during the week.  Once I reach my next goal I plan to fit some gym time in.  I think something that would help modivation to work out is to find a friend or family member to work out with you.  It seems less grueling if your sharing the time with someone else.  I think that actually goes for all aspects o dieting and getting in shape, support from your friends and family.

I know exactly what you mean about motivation popping up, then leaving! OMG, I was just waiting for it to pop up again!, but I ended up just haviing to build my own momentum, and its hard, but knowing that I am doing ok, makes memore motivated, and with the food, I just have to catch myself BEFORE I take the extra bite, or eat the stupid thing, or wreak havoc on my efforts, thats all I can do... But I am still working on it, I guess its just momentum with that as well.

Wow, thanks everyone for all your tips and tricks and sharing what you did. I feel like a lot of you can relate to some of my weight loss challenges and it really is comforting to see I'm not alone in my struggle and past failures. It was a nice surprise to see so many responses!

Kizzichan, I know what you mean - it almost feels as though you're getting revenge at the person who hurt you, or the people who stressed you out by eating all that food when you're feeling like that. I totally know the feeling, but then afterwards, I realize the only person I ended up punishing was myself. *sigh*

Collier__, sure! I don't have many 'buddies' since I'm new here, would be great I'll add you today. ;)

Jeannieism, I've too googled emotional eating and even went so far as to call an eating disorder clinic for information about a consultation - but I never followed up and did it. I remember in my last successful attempt at weight loss 3 years ago I had an "Ah-HA" moment when I realized that I was an emotional eater and identified that I can't trust myself around food when I'm stressed, as I tend to go on autopilot deep into the fridge only to return with many calories consumed over my limit. I tend to have a foot on both sides of the fence for eating, I often am an 'emotional eater' but sometimes also use food as an excuse to not get started on certain work..so I guess I'd be a 'procrastinatory eater'...

Vanessa1031, yup that's me too. I've been guilty of sneaking the last brownie (that was intended for my man) or eating stress-induced snacks quickly before he came home. Maybe having a buddy like Collier suggested, to keep you accountable would help?

Justlaura, your ramblings do make a lot of sense though, and it's all good advice. I think for me it comes down to a lack of discipline when it comes to food and working out.

Clairelaine, wow that's a great accomplishment - congrats! I look forward to the time when I won't even have to think about portion control, that a reasonable portion will just naturally look like enough. I guess you're right (..actually I know you're right, hehe) about taking it one step at a time and to set realistic goals. I'm guilty of wanting it all and wanting it right now..

Fuzi_lojak, ya that's another hurdle I'll have to face one of these days. I visit my parents once a week for supper and they like to feed! So if I only eat a bit of something they won't flat out say they are insulted, but they think I don't like what they are serving. Ah...the issues and issues around food - never ends! :)

Bigbitty, same here! As I mentioned above I seem to drift into auto-pilot mode and eat and then wake up after and realized what I've done and feel terrible about it. The key is to catch myself before like you said. ;)