Positive Comments You've Received Since Gaining :-)

Let's face it, a lot of people can unknowingly put their foot in it when it comes to talking to people recovering from EDs or trying to gain weight. The infamous phrase 'You look well/better/healthier' has, if you guys are anything like me, been the cause of many a night spent pinching yourself in front of the mirror thinking 'fatty fat fat..'

BUT we need to stop looking at 'healthier' and 'better' as a negative thing. When YOU tell someone they look well or 'glowing' or have 'colour in their cheeks' you probably mean it in the nicest possible way, right?

And sometimes I think telling people NOT to make positive comments about our appearance is basically telling the world to run itself around our disorder and cater for our warped and anorexic way of looking at ourselves.

So I'm making a thread where we can celebrate people noticing our efforts to improve our quality of life and quest for health.

Starting with me. I saw a friend the other day who I hadn't seen in a while and she said (upon seeing me)

'Oh my God, you look amazing - your legs are going to be fantastic if you keep up what you've been doing - they actually have a shape now!'

My other friend (who is quite a character) said

'I'm so glad you've gained a bit of weight - you still have a long way to go, but you look less like a.. a.. dead chicken vampire corpse.'

ED didn't like it. But then ED doesn't like me much at all at the moment - good thing, really! No one wants to be a 'dead-chicken-vampire-corpse' do they?

This is a great idea, a good way to focus on the positives :-)

I got told my someone at work the other day I was glowing and that I looked very nice. Normally I wouldnt really have taken that well but I was quite chuffed.

My sister told me my face looked a lot healthier, it had filled out a bit. That got to me, because of course ED hits off but then I just thought to myself nope she paid me a complement just take it.

Whenever I was getting dressed to go out both my sisters said that in the outfit I was wearing I looked like I actually had a shape and wasnt just a straight looking twig.

I also get a lot of comments regarding my personality, that now I have started to eat a lot more and better that I`m more pleasant and sociable.

Those are just a few examples, a little hard to deal with at times but then just got to remember they are saying something good about us :-)

Upon regaining some boobs, I went to hang out with one of my friends.

::Tori steps out of car::

::boy standing out by garage, Tori walks up::

"Holy ****. Wow. You look. Wow. You look good. So uh, what are you doing Friday night?" (this was the overall reaction gotten from all of my male friends. don't you love them?)

At the grocery store::

"You look so much better. Your face has life again. You look happy." "I've gained 30 pounds." "What? No! Really? Well, I wouldn't have thought that. You just look so much happier and better. You look good. No one would ever think you gained that much weight though."

"You've put on weight, yes? You look so beautiful and alive. Gain another 5lbs, it'd do you good. But you look so much better. I am so happy for you."

With family::

Grams - "Make my mother's day a happy one. How much do you weigh?" "105 lbs"

::Grams tears up and hugs me:: "I am so happy! You're going to live! I am so happy! You could gain another 5 or 10. But you are going to live!"

-Various constant comments from my boyfriend: "I never knew I could be MORE attracted to you.", various boob comments that I'm not posting here lol.

-After not seeing my best friend for two years: "Ah you're so cute and perfect! Don't get any smaller!"

thank you mashed... this is a great idea. some ppl just want to wallow in the obsessive and negative nature that is an eating disorder and when i saw that stupid post the other day about people saying the wrong thing, i nearly flipped. this is an excellent post.

i went back to college this year. in our student health centre, i get on really well with one of the doctors there. we have a great laugh. i hadnt seen her in 3.5 years and the last time i saw her, i was 25kg lighter. i had lost that 25kg in about 4 months, over the summer and when i returned to college that autumn it was obvious to everyone i was suffering anorexia. this doc, who was typically bubbly and upbeat, looked at me and went pale. i broke down saying how much trouble i was in psychologically. we sat there for a half hour trying to decide what to do.

i then disappeared for 3.5 years. this year i called into the health centre and my lovely doc was the one scheduled to see me. i was nervous - having gained the weight back. i wondered what everyone would think of me. would they be as horrified as i was. she called me. she saw me. i have  never ever  seen a smile so bright. she hugged me. her eyes stung with tears. she said "oh my God you truly look fantastic". it was her expression more than anything. i gripped my chest. i battle most days with being unsure to the point of self hate at times, about whether i want to be this weight. but that day was one of the first days i truly felt proud for having achieved what i had. i felt i had really overcome something. i felt like i was winning a battle rather than being slave to something. we talked for a good hour. she was so emphatic about how far i had come. she talked about how when she saw me 3 years, she thought seriously about having me certified that day. she told me how gravely concerned she and my college physio were when they saw me. i felt genuinely like recovery was the right option.

and still when i have my ed days - i think of her positive words of encouragement and hope and it gives me strength to fight on..... cheeseyyy i know... but its true

My best friend saying I didn't look sick any more :)

And men in general showing more interest in me.... But it shouldn't be about that!

That's a really moving story Fidget!

And may I just say.. you often come across so strong and put together on this website. But it amazes me to find out that yes, just like all of us, you still struggle with ed thoughts and temptations. But you are dedicated to your health, and refuse to ACT on those thoughts.

Awesome.

gee thanks.... im blushing

Original Post by fidget84:

"oh my God you truly look fantastic". it was her expression more than anything. i gripped my chest. i battle most days with being unsure to the point of self hate at times, about whether i want to be this weight. but that day was one of the first days i truly felt proud for having achieved what i had. i felt i had really overcome something. i felt like i was winning a battle rather than being slave to something. 

*hugs* fidget.

Really moving.

I think that this is an awesome post.  I saw the negative comments post the other day too, and I immediately thought of all the things that my mother and older sister have said throughout my struggles.  I was tempted to write all of those so called "wrong comments", but I thought about it and realized that it would not be helpful for my recovery.  We all know that those comments do exist, but honestly, my mom and sister do not know that these comments are detrimental to my success. 

Thus, after I saw this post, I knew that I needed to comment.  Since starting my recovery, I have days that are very difficult, but there are also many very good days.  This past weekend was a great example of a very good day with my mother, and these days do not happen very often.  I am very hopeful that further recovery will bring more better days.

I usually always go grocery shopping with me mom, and in my small town, everyone knows everybody, so i am constantly living in fear of running into someone.  Of course, we ran into my old high school basketball coach, and she is always very blunt.  She made a comment about my how I had lost weight and I needed to go buy some doritos before I blew away.  Usually, my mom would have agreed with the person or said something like, "I know, tell her.  She just needs to eat."  Instead though, my mom actually said, "No, she hasn't lost any weight and she is really looking much better."  The lady shut up and we moved onto a different subject.  I could not believe that my mom had actually said something that made me feel better about myself.

Even better, after we were done shopping, it was lunch time and I actually agreed to go to McDonalds.  I haven't eaten there in so long, and even now it is a struggle because i know that i need to eat healthy, but i am learning that everything is ok in moderation.  So anyway, my mom actually said something that motivated me and i actually enjoyed my food.  It was a really great day.

my cute cheeks are back and that i don't look like i am going to collapse any second...........the comments keep me on track and eating :) Good luck