Post-break up binge

Well.. my partner and I split up last weekend and I have ceased all exercise and have been eating anything I like. It was my first serious relationship - lasting 2 years. I know it may pale in comparison to others but ugh.. it feels like a mini-divorce.

Is anyone else going through anything like this?

I can only seem to eat well and exercise when I feel good about life - and right now I just want fried comforty goodness.

I hate this.

been there, done that, a couple dozen times, it seems.

but I was really proud of myself last year with the last breakup -- I did NOT turn to food for comfort.  That gave the breakup a kind of silver lining.

So get back to eating healthy and exercising -- don't compound your problems by adding unnecessary weight gain. 

Do it for yourself!

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. In 2005 I split with my fiance (we'd been together six years, during which time, I had gained 20lbs) and for the next month I ate everything in sight. I wouldn't even step on a scale, so I'm not sure how much I put on. Luckily, as I started to heal emotionally, I also regained control of my eating habits, started getting regular exercise again and lost the extra pounds I had gained after the break up, then the 20 I gained while I dated him, and another 10, just for good measure! It can be really difficult to motivate yourself especially when things are so raw. I'd probably allow myself a little time to grieve without worrying about it, but maybe set a deadline to get back into the swing of things. Breakups are difficult and I really feel for what you must be going through, but don't give up hope because your health and wellbeing are more important than the relationship!

Thank you so much for your support. You're right, I do need a bit of time just to let go of my usual restrictions and have a small break.. just until I nurse myself back to a good emotional state.

It's just hard when everything you know and everything you had been working towards was to reach a point together, only to be cut off and left wondering what to do with yourself.

I plan to shed the rest of my unwanted weight - sell everything, and finally go to London and do my big overseas adventure. I hope this will make me happy.

Take it the opposite way.  Take the next week to comfort yourself, and then jump back into your plan and make yourself hot!  It'll make you feel so much better to be paying attention to yourself and trying to improved your health.

When my boyfriend and I broke-up for awhile a few years ago I started going to the gym and eating better and lost the majority of the weight I had gained during my first year of university.  All I kept thinking while I was on that elliptical was, "Just wait 'til he sees me next time!  I'm going to look great and he'll know what he's missing"...  Maybe it worked, we got back together 4 months later.

I do understand how you feel though, just try to see the other side to it.

I am so sorry to hear that things are not going well for you right now.  Just a tiny advice about making big decisions such as moving overseas... I am not saying it's a bad idea at all, just wanted to tell you to be careful about making rushed decisions while you are going thru a tough time.  Take the time to hear first before making huge changes because right now you are so hurt and you can make unwise decisions.  Also, for now, stay away from people who would drain you even more; you need as much support as you can get right now. Try to keep your chin up and move on. 

Best wishes. 

I agree with the above.

Try looking at it this way.

Once you are down to your ideal weight, buy yourself some clothes that make you look (and feel) beautiful.  Then when you run in to your ex he will see what he is missing.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I understand it may seem like a rushed decision to want to go to London but that was our plan. We were going to start saving and go there in 2 years, but now that has fallen through - I really want to go as soon as I can.

I just want to share with you all a little story of something that made me smile for hours that I saw yesterday. I was out a department store buying some new knickers (why the hell not? HE will never get to see them ;) ) and I was waiting to purchase at the counter, and there was a little kid in the line ahead of me. He walked up to the counter, stood on his tip toes and placed a really large toy truck on the counter. The woman at the counter looked a little surprised to see it was a little boy but said "that's $28 dollars please" and the little boy reached into his pocket and then dumped a big handful of change onto the counter. He must have saved up for it for a very long time! I couldn't hold back my laughter. It made me realise that even though I feel so so low at the moment - there is still a world of smiles and happiness out there :)

Thanks all!

I actually found that hitting the gym harder made things easier for me. My body got into better shape, and boy was he missing out on it. :)

Yeah I'm really looking forward to the gym now :) I actually am on holiday for a week in my home town because I went crying home to my mummy. But alas, I shall be back in my town on Sunday and the gym won't know what hit it!!!

22 more pounds to go..!

I think that when you're sad it makes getting motivated seem impossible.  Don't think about it as "excersize"  get out for a walk int he morning and watch the sunrise.  I once had a mentor-type person tell me that doing that helped her with a serious depression.  (not that you're depressed) But there is something about getting outside that just makes you feel healthier and happier....and somethign about sunrises does that too.  even if you go to bed again afterwards.  The more you feel liek a blob, the more you'll act like one.  Start small.  start with a walk or two.

I am so sorry.

Hi Retrovert,

I feel your pain.  When my heart was broken, a friend advised me to fill my time with the gym for 1 calendar month - she made me put it in my diary, every day Monday to Thursday plus one day at the weekend (leaving Fridays for girls nights out).

Keep busy and you'll have less time to dwell and hopefully start feeling better in time.

Don't worry about eating a few cakes if they make you feel better, just stick with the gym!

KCx

When I broke up with my bf of six years I dragged my lethargic butt to the gym and it was THE BEST thing I could have ever done. Believe me, I had ZERO energy. I was a depressed mess, but I FORCED myself to burn off the depression at the gym and it WORKED. Now I know that whenever I am having a hard time, I can go to the gym and my spirits will be lifted. The way I look at it is, if you let yourself go, the other person wins. It's just another way of looking at it. Sure it's ok, even GOOD to FEEL your feelings but no sense harming youself by eating poorly and giving up your healthy lifestyle. You are very powerful -- you just have to push yourself a little. 

so sorry to hear about your break-up :(

When my partner and I broke up I went on a eating/feeling sorry for myself binge for 3 weeks. I felt as my life was crumbling into bits and it really was, but my eating compounded my misery buy 100% because I knew in my heart that it wasn't how I felt healthiest and sane...

I would take the week (make a date to which you will let yourself just do nnothing) and then as soon as you reach that day, take yourself back to the gym. It is amazing how much energy and focus you will have.. Think of how amazing you will look and how much you are GOING to DO this FOR YOURSELF... How healthy you will be. It will be the best feeling to be able to see your Ex when you look and feel amazing about yourself. It will not be fun if you have eatin a house and are feeling horrible about yourself... This can actually be used as a tool to help you..

going to London.. I think you should do whatever it is that you want.. :) good for you in wanting to change your life in amazing ways...

YOU will make it... one day at a time...

COncentrate on the positives:

You are young and have a great job(I read your profile) and very beautiful(esp. after the weight loss).... I dont think it will be difficult for you to find a new love...

You guys are so amazing. I wish I could hug every single one of you!

I am so inspired now! Watch this space for a brand new after picture :)

I'm sorry you guys broke up. I understand how you're feeling. i've been w/ my b/f for 3.5 years and after living together for a year and a half I asked him to move out cuz he wasn't ready to move towards a bigger commitment. We are together but it's just weird. and on top of that my sister got engaged last night so I feel like crap. it really makes me want to just eat everything i want and not care. i know goign to the gym is the best thing but it's so hard to get motivated. but once you can get yourself there, it's so great. i hope you can take this time to really do stuff for you adn not hold back.