The Power Within Oneself
Alyshiadavies has lost 129 pounds thanks largely to a mindset change, new eating habits and incorporating daily exercise. The biggest change for her was her mental attitude which involved major lifestyle changes that she managed to stick with.
She contacted us through our Share Your Story feature, and provided the following answers to our questionnaire.
1. What made you decide to lose weight this time?
I used to watch The Biggest Loser while eating pizza and drinking beer. In Winter of 2008 I had moved nearer to the family seated in northern California, and begun spending a lot of time with my grandmother. While watching The Biggest Loser with my beer and pizza, I had always celebrated the fact that I was not wasting my time making futile efforts at losing weight that I would never keep off anyway. I believed that I could be thin for brief periods between huge weight gains. Then one day my grandmother and I were talking, and she told me the story of her mother who had been a terrible, angry tyrant. I remarked that it was amazing that she herself had never become either the doormat or the tyrant that one would expect from someone raised by such a terrible person. "I chose not to be that way" Grandma explained. "I just didn't want to be like her." And that was when I realized that I was not merely a victim of circumstance, but had a choice.
The next week I watched The Biggest Loser while bouncing on a trampoline (on which I exceeded the weight limit). I started to take cooking lessons from Grandma, and limited my portions to the size of one medium sized dinner plate. I lost 6 pounds the first week, and that motivated me to keep going.
2. What other "diets" (programs, products, plans, or services) had you tried in the past?
I was great in inventing my own programs. In college other girls gained their freshmen 15, and I lost my freshmen 50. I was broke and lived off watermelon, black beans, cheddar cheese and ice berg lettuce. I plateaued after about 40 pounds and switched to an even stricter diet of coffee and snickers bars!
A few years later I was back up at around 200 lbs and started an all-juice all-the-time diet. That was when I took up smoking as a helpful weight control tool. Then there was The 24 Hour Pineapple Diet, The Atkins Diet, The 3 Squares Taco Bell Diet, the Frozen Fruit and Light Cool Whip Diet, The Take-It-Easy Diet (I joined Curves and fasted 1 day a week)... you get the picture. All that took me from my starting weight of around 200 pounds as a freshmen in college to a whopping 277 by August of 2006.
3. What changes did you make to your usual diet, activity, lifestyle, and attitude?
The main changes were and remain in my head. Yes, my diet has changed dramatically. I decided back in Winter of 2008 that I would just aim for healthy and hope for skinny, so I decided to shoot for the food pyramid: a protein or two a day, 5-7 veggies, 3-5 fruits, a couple of whole grains, and one or two things I enjoyed. I also let up on the calorie control a little on weekends at first; I found a 5 day a week diet plan less intimidating. After I had adjusted my habits for about a year though, I discovered that the 5 day a week calorie reduction plan was only slowing my weight loss, so I decided to just hold fast at between 1500 and 1800 calories per day every day. I've been doing that for about 6 months and have lost 30 pounds in addition to the 98 I had lost by February.
Miraculously, I corrected yet another earlier diet blunder and quit smoking in March. It was the hardest thing I've ever done beyond doubt, especially since the nicotine cravings channeled themselves into food cravings and very nearly drove me to distraction. However, it has now been 5 months since my last nicotine fix and I've not only lost weight, I feel like some kind of unstoppable Wonder Woman.
4. How did Calorie Count help you to lose weight?
One of the things I'm in the habit of now is checking the calories of everything before I buy, order or eat it. When I first started the diet it was OK for me to just say, "I'll have my foot-long sub on whole wheat and skip the mayo. Yeah, that's low calorie." I would still lose weight pretty much no matter what I did. Now that my weight is at normal for my height, though, I have to be a little more exacting. It helps that I can go to Calorie Count Mobile on my Blackberry and type in "6 inch meatball sub" and come up with a calorie count. Often times I'm put off completely by the calorie count of something, and just opt for something different entirely. Other times I'm surprised that the sweets and treats I love still fit within my calorie budget for the day. Also, I get the Calorie Count newsletter and read it religiously every day. Sometimes I just glance through for good tips, other times I am fascinated by some new development or other things.
5. What was most challenging about losing weight?
Changing what was going on in my brain was the hardest. My mindset in the beginning was that I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and hungry, but that really is so sad. What I was really saying to myself was that I'd rather have whatever food I could get myself than enjoy my food for what it is and get my real joy and pleasure from living a full, rich, healthy life. I've had a lot of work to do on my self-esteem, impulse control, body image, and emotional eating issues to really turn that around. But all that work is what I think will lead to me being able to keep it off though - this time I faced the really hard things about weight loss, the fact that I eat for reasons other than hunger, and I am working like a slave to fix these life-long behavior patterns.
6. How long did it take you to see results?
I started seeing results immediately. The first 6 pounds came off in one week. The real trial was seeing results over the long term, especially when I wanted to give up in anguish and eat my way through to next Tuesday. It was so easy until the first time I went 2 weeks in a row without losing weight and realized I was going to have to go from my 3 hour a week walking regimen to a 4 hour a week slow jog in order to keep losing weight. "For crying out loud!" I would say to myself every time I plateaued, "How much exercise does a person have to do?" Then I realized that every time I pushed my exercise and diet up a notch, the previous step seamed so easy I could hardly believe I'd had any success with it at all.
As a final note, I am currently on a 2000 calorie a day diet, training for a half marathon. The training has me running about 8 to 10 hours a week. When I started running a year ago I could make it for about 15 minutes at a time going about 4 miles per hour. Now I'm up to 8 miles at about 6 miles per hour. By the end of August my goal is to be able to run the 13+ miles of the half marathon at around 6.5 miles per hour. I can hardly believe I once thought walking 30 minutes a day seemed like a lot. Now that seems not merely too easy, but unsatisfactorily brief. I think that little exercise and going that slow would hardly get my blood pumping, let alone make me feel like Wonder Woman the way a good 5 mile run does.
7. When did you realize that you were a success?
After the first 6 pounds I started making a concerted effort. When they didn't come back I thought it was a miracle. When even more started coming off, one to three pounds at a time, I knew something major was happening. Of course back then I did not have enough faith in myself to believe it was me doing it. It had to be the weather, or my guardian angel, or maybe Mercury was in retrograde; I'd heard weird things always happened when Mercury was doing something odd. But now I realize that for all the support from my Grandma, friends, co-workers, and of course God who lent help and encouragement, I really did do it. It's been a huge boost to my self-esteem to be able to do this. I really am a whole different person inside and out.
8. How do you prevent relapse?
I am working hard on changing my mind. I am reading a lot on what causes people to eat when they're not hungry or when they're already full. I always thought I was just a glutton, that there was something wrong with me, I had no self-control, just blame. Recently a strange thought came to me. My boss left on a business trip leaving me alone in the office. "I wonder what there is to eat" I thought to myself. A thought I can't remember having had in years. Back when I was little, my parents both worked. My sister was much older and out with her friends a lot. I was alone. I was lonely. I felt abandoned. I decided to raid the fridge and cupboards for all the things I wasn't allowed to eat when anybody was looking. That was how I coped with my situation. I realize now I didn't have the coping skills I needed, so thank God I found food or I don't know what would have come of me. Now as an adult of 35, I have to relearn coping strategies. I have to find a way to self soothe when I am lonely or sad, angry or anxious. I have to break up with my first real, passionate love: food. From now on food has to be something I delight in when I am hungry, and hardly spare a thought for when I am not. It has been hard but not impossible, and every day it gets a little easier.
9. How has your life changed now that you've lost weight?
I can do anything I want. The sense of formidable power I once derived from being big can now be derived from being very likely the fittest person in any given room. I look at my body for all its loose skin and stretch marks and I realize that it has always done exactly what I needed it to do. It has kept me isolated when I felt like pushing everyone out of my life, and now that I want to draw them near, it attracts friends, family and lovers just as I desire. It's also a lot more comfortable - it's an all weather body - less fat covering means less unbearable heat in summer. Better circulation means I can better adjust to cold in winter. It's not just attractive to others, it serves my own purpose too.
10. What five tips do you have for other dieters?
- Deal with what's going on in your head and the rest will come almost automatically.
- Add things to your diet instead of slashing them. In all my
reading I've learned that trying to banish foods you love only leads
to binging and regain afterwards. - Be good to yourself. You have value whatever your weight is. You
treat others with kindness and respect, so treat yourself that way too.
Being hard on yourself - perfectionism, all or nothing thinking - it
only leads to shame, which leads to more weight. - Find things out. Read the Calorie Count newsletters, google
things you're struggling with, read a book a month. - Give your full attention to the food you do eat. Don't disrespect
yourself and your food by mindlessly sticking stuff in your mouth
while on the go, reading a book, or standing at the fridge. Sit down and
enjoy your 1500 - 2000 calories a day, and you'll get just as much
enjoyment out of them as you would from the 3000 calories you might eat while watching The Biggest Loser with beer and pizza. Choose wisely what you really want, and don't feel obliged to eat the crust from your
bread or the grisly part of your meat just because way back when your
mother told you the universe would end if you didn't. Everything you
pick off that you don't like, or throw away because it was too salty,
or leave on your plate because it just wasn't as good as it sounded on
the menu, is one less thing you put in your mouth.
If you would like us to feature your success story, you can submit it here. The most insightful stories will be featured on this blog and in the weekly "Success Stories" newsletter.
Comments
An incredible story of mind and dedication. Kudos to you!! (I'm still battling with yo-yo weight and only want to lose 1-2 lbs a week.)
This is very good advice for all of us and very encouraging to those of us who have a long way to go. Congratulations on your weight loss and your change of life style. I am proud of you. You look great!
Original Post by: gogetfitYou look AMAZING and I can tell that you feel that way too!! Congrats on your marathon training-I am sure you will do that too
I am completely amazed by the will power when someone can lose 129 lbs. You look fantastic!! I struggle everyday just trying to lose 20lb. Congrats on your weight loss. Can you give a few pointers on your success?
I so enjoyed the story that your Grandmother told you. Yes, as I was being crabby this morning.. I decided that I can use your Grandmother's advice. Thanks so much for sharing. That was a lovely wake-up call for me.
Have a a very good.
CONGRATS!!!!!!! I just restarted today and have lost 20.4 lbs since Feb, slow and steady. but your story really motivated me this AM and am GOING TO LOSE ANOTHER 20 by Dec1, 2009.
Keep up the great work
Today I have you to thank for helping me consider the thoughts I have and the actions I will take.
Great beginning to a Monday. You radiate pride and that is so beautiful.
You lool great. Absolutely amazing. Your story is really motivating. And I think a lot of people can relate to it. A lot of people (including me) believe that its all going to come back, specially if you get off the track and gain a pound or so. Thanks for posting your story, you are a true inspiration.
Keep up the fabulous work. :)
Wow. You're an absolute inspiration. I thought I read everything, but this was an eye opener for me. The same struggles that we all face, but you've shed some light on them and shown us that they can be overcome! You've pretty much summed up the path to success.. And shown us the importance of facing our demons. Excellent work, by the way, congratulations on all your hard work. You deserve it!
It's amazing to see other people that truly do go through the same thing I do, that have similar foundations in eating. Thank you for sharing your story- I think it will make the next few days' meals easier to deal with.
Wow, you must feel so proud of yourself. It's all about self-belief, which life has a habit of stealing from you. But you clearly have oodles of it and your story is a fantastic inspiration...thanks :)
Congratulations! What an inspirational story to read on a grey Monday, after the scale did NOT read what I hoped it would. I guess the weekend was a bit too much in excess...today is a new day! I shall NOT give up!! THANK YOU for sharing your story of your love of food and how to overcome the impulse to fill the voids with it! You reminded me to make better choices, eat less, and MOVE MORE!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you again! Ride the ride...
Thank you! I had to read your story 2x. It gave me such hope. The way you talked about your body was so beautiful. I have never heard anyone honor their body that way. It gives me a new way to look at myself. I thought my body betrayed me, but now I'm thinking it was protecting me and now it's time I paid it back by getting healthier.
Again thank you.
Alyshia, thank you for the time and effort you put into posting such a thoughtful, well written, and inspiring explanation of your success. I made a copy and saved it on my desktop for times I need encouragement. It is a wonderful treatise on your success, and you look beautiful!
What an inspiring story, thanks for sharing! Curious if you or anyone has any book recommendations, particularly about why we eat when we're not hungry.
Tremendous inspiration, and you still lost 129 pounds even while you were struggling with smoking cessation. WOW!!!!
Tomorrow, 8/4, it will be 17 years smoke free for me. And I was a 3-1/2 pack a day addict.
I've lost 26 pounds so far with CC, and can't wait to get to my goal so I can write my story, too. I hope it will be as articulate and inspiring as yours.
What stands out the most for me in your story is the degree of self-understanding you've acheived--I think that is truly the most important tool in weight loss. I hope someday to be as good to myself as you've learned to be. Thanks for sharing.
I love it! You have such a wonderful story.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!!!! Filled with so many good tips, examples and humor. Congrats too.
great advice--agree with getting the "head stuff" fixed as you work towards a healthy lifestyle-- BL seems to be emphasizing that more too...... did the same thing and love the Wonder Women feeling-- feel like the energizer bunny!
--you look radiant---WTG GREAT Job, congrats!
Congratulations. Great change in your attitude. Great story.
Wow what an inspiration to others i cant wait to get started as i dont have nearly asmuch to lose but it just seems so hard to stick to.
You're a true inspiration to me! You've done a great job! thanks for sharing your story with us.
Anything worth doing is rarely easy.
best story I have ever read , She gave us so many tips , Thanks Alshia .
You look awesome.
Congratulations for bringing yourself back to the bountiful table of life! I lost 70 pounds and like you have found a new life. Reading your story reminds me once again of why I did this. It has been almost 18 months now since I reached my goal weight. I have a new relationship with food, myself, other people and life in general. It is a wonderful thing when we realize we have a choice and we can make our life different!
Thanks for your story! I'm just starting out on my journey to losing 40 pounds and really needed to read this. You rock!
I really enjoyed reading this. I could feel the joy in your words. Thanks so much for the inspiration.
This is a wonderful story. It gives instruction and motivation to achieve the success we all strive for. Thank you, and may God bless you with continued good health.
Good note on emotional eating... I also find myself with the urge to binge if I'm home alone (and often give in) and when I was young (jh and hs) I was home alone and would eat non-stop till my parents came home. I never really put two and two together before. Thanks for the insight!
you're amazing!!! I'm only just starting to love myself and realise the impact of my self talk. You prove that it is possible to change the way you relate to yourself and food. Well done, you have inspired me to do better today.
Wow! What a story...Its just what i needed to hear. Its been six months since my journey to a healthier me and lately its been harder to be as vigilant as i once was in watching what i eat. Im so glad i read your story. its given me new determination not to give up! Thank You!
Great story and congratulations! How excellent to give youself a healthy future with proper eating and no cigarettes!!!
Keep up the good work!
Fantabulous. Now my mantra will be "If Alyshia can, then I will".
I am soooo motivated, this is my ever first comment since I joined CC four 4 months ago. I have lost over 30 pound, dropped from a size 20 to 16 and I started feeling I had accomplished a great deal. Your story has helped me see how far I still have to go.
Thank YOU.
Thank you for being so personal and detailed in your success story. It is so refreshing to see someone who was so bold on their journey and remained consistent in their efforts to become fit. I feel like you really have encouraged me and others to reach for that feeling of internal happiness!
I've found that one can only feel happy in life, with challenges.
Thanks for all the great info....Ive been working out now consistantly for about 2 and 1/2 weeks and im eating right....ive noticed a 2 lb gain..im eating the right amount of calories for my weight and age...what do you suggest? im eating 1800 cal a day and excersizing an hour a day everyday. I was losing weight consistantly until i started my excersize program. Help! I dont want to get discouraged!!!!!
So easy to miscount calories ! keep on doing as you are , sure you will show a big lost...are you drinking your water ? Drink a pint of water first thing in AM a big help...
Don't get discourage whatever the case. I can't tell you how many times I've said "Oh for crying out loud! I'm doing so much!" And after a mini nervous breakdown I sit down and think ... Hmm.. there was that party at the weekend, and there was the time I skipped my work out to get ice cream with my housemate... yeah come to think of it... I don't have a lot of rules for myself, and I try not to get all down I myself when I break them, but as part of my quest for self love and self respect I have tried to stop eating anything that's not worthy of being put on a plate. I swear I've sometimes munched my way to weight gain or plateau with a few nips of soy milk and a couple of grapes and just one spoonful of ice cream. If you want milk have milk, just respect yourself enough to put it in a glass. Have ice cream for heaven's sake, but make it a proper treat and put it in a cup - better yet a cone! That way you know Exactly what goes in your mouth and you really enjoy it properly when it gets there.
Also, just don't be too hard on yourself. You are learning to eat healthy, you are learning to exercise right, maybe you made a mistake, maybe your metabolism went haywire this week, maybe you built some serious muscle mass or maybe it's water weight. Just keep going. Be informed and make improvements to your diet as you go. If you're eating that spoonful of yogurt out of the carton with the fridge open, try to put it down. if you find yourself mindlessly snacking because the program you are on said "Snack at 11 AM" and you are not actually hungry until 12? Have the snack when you're hungry instead.
Just keep going. Sometimes it will feel like you are banging your head against the wall. Other times you'll wonder, if it was so easy why you never did it before.
And along the way, tell yourself sometimes what a good job you're doing. Reward is infinitely more effective than punishment. You'll see. You're a dang lot further ahead of the game just for trying, you know?
Alyshia
You have made a difference in my life . Thank you ,
You make this planet a better place.
Wow, what a wonderful thing to say. You've made my day, and you've made this planet a better place too. Thanks!
Thank you so much for commenting. I really needed the encouragement.
Even though i didnt lose weight this week i did lose inches....2 in my waist and 3 on my hips!!!!! yeah!
Scales are deceiving arnt they???????
Thanks so much you are an inspiration to us all!
3 inches off the hips? Did you know that muscle takes up less space than fat? If you didn't lose weight but lost inches, it's likely you gained muscle and lost fat! You should be over the moon! 3 inches! That's like a whole waistline of a moderately sized super model! Awesome!
when do you start losing the weight...when will the scales show it? im so confused. i so understand that muscle weighs more than fat...but i dont want the scales to increase?
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You look AMAZING and I can tell that you feel that way too!! Congrats on your marathon training-I am sure you will do that too