Pregnant? I think not...

Yesterday I saw an old friend from high school and they asked me if I was pregnant... I just wanted to cry. I know I have gotten big since then, mostly because of various health problems and I'm trying hard to get the weight back off. I guess it was just really hurtful. I called my mother and told her what happened and ended up breaking down and crying. How awful. Do I really look that bad? :(

Ouch! That does hurt. First thing to remember is that it's always better to let someone tell you if they're pregnant. Even thin women can have perfect round bellies that look for all the world like an early pregnancy- it's just the way they're built. And plenty of women have skinny/flat butts and big tummies. While this is not a shape that we revere in our society, it's abundant.

The other thing to remember is that it wasn't intentionally hurtful. It sounds like she was ready to be happy for you and I'm sure was mortified at her mistake. Think of this as a reality check and an opportunity to see yourself through someone else's eyes. Then turn it into motivation to become the person you want to be- strong, healthy, and fit.

Your picture shows me that you're a very beautiful woman- feel good about yourself, take care of yourself, and laugh this one off as soon as possible. Someday this incident will come up again and you'll be able to thank her for giving you a kick in the pants and a strong incentive to change the road you were on. You're in the right place for getting advice and support as you go.

Good luck!

Thanks so much for your sweet reply. Thats exactly what I have decided to do, is to turn it into something good. People saying stuff like that is what has given me motivation to do something about the weight.

A) People suck

B) People are rude and inconsiderate

C) People suck

Like you said - use it as motivation.  Then you can rub it in her face

edited to add: I was asked that question when I weighed about 100 pounds (had an ED, weigh more than that now).  People just flat out suck.  And people like that are the reason that women feel like crap about their appearance.  Here's a fun fact for you: Only 2% of women worldwidew said they are happy with their appearance. 2% WORLDWIDE!!!

1. the person probably didn't mean it as an insult

2. Turn it into something positive - pregnancy is a beautiful state!  Maybe you looked radiant and the person thought you looked nice.  You certainly look beautiful and radiant in your picture!

V.

I was asked by a patient of mine if I was pregnant.  The problem is, I went on to gain another 30 pounds (having actually gotten pregnant twice).  Good for you that you are already doing something good for yourself (was that redundant??)!!

People so often speak before they think, and it might not even have anything to do with your weight.  For instance, it might be your clothing.  There are a lot of tops sold these days that look like maternity tops, and that might have been it.  It may also be that your friend was just thinking about babies that day.  It's hard, but you just have to let things like these roll off like water on a duck's back.

My personal rule is not to comment on a woman's pregnancy until she tells you she is or you see the head crowning! 

She meant well, even if her comment wasn't well thought out.  Forget about it and keep moving forward! 

I'm sorry hon, that sucks.  I've been asked twice.  Once by my 7 year old cousin about 3 years ago and then again by one of the kids at my sons preschool about 6 months ago.  Somehow from kids it isn't as hurtful since they are just curious but it still sucks.