Pregnant for TWO years straight!

I am new to this site and I was searching for some support.  I have recently given birth to my second son, Randy (3 months old).  His brother, Andy (15 months) was born last March and is four days shy of being a year apart.  Since I was pregnant for practically two years straight with only a short period of time between the second conception. I am struggling with the fact that it is ok for me to now want to lose weight and take care of myself.  I feel like I am constantly taking care of other people (husband, Randy, Andy...) that there is little to no time to take care of me.  I don't have much money and can't go and pamper myself when ever I feel like it.  Instead, I am busy doing for the men in my life.  I am not complaining on the contrary I am searching for advice.  when I was pregnant two years ago I was already over weight 197 pounds and 5'3.  When my first was born I weighed 239.  I got back down to 220 and then got pregnant again without losing all of my pregnacy gain.  I am now 207 after Randy's birth and I am just beside myself trying to lose weight.  I want it so badly and I am scared I will never be thin again.  When I was twenty-one and I married my huband (5 years ago) I weighed 151 pounds.  And at the time I thought that was big.  Now I just feel so bad about my weight and I just want to lose the weight so that I can keep up with my family and look nice for my man.  If there is anyone out there that can give me some support I would be truely grateful to you. 

I was never severly overweight, but I have had 8 children.  7  of them within 11 years.  Money wasn't abundant in our family either.  My best advice is be very careful of the mother's picking.  You know, leftover sandwich crust we don't want to waste so we eat it.  Checking to see if it's too hot by having a mouthful.  It all seems innocent, but over the course of the day all this picking can add up.  Also with two little ones, try Mommy and me exercising.  The kids will love the playtime and you can get exercise without leaving home or your family.  When you do need time out make sure you get a break even for 15 minutes,  stress can add weight and hurt your overall health.  Don't feel quilty taking me time, it will make for a happy Mom.

Thanks for the insight and advice, tulips.  Wow, 8 children! You are a very blessed woman.  That is awesome.  I am so glad you spoke up, because some times I feel like I am the only one out there that feels this way when actually I know there are many others who are in the same boat as I.  I just want to be able to take care of myself and I am finally starting to take charge and it almost looks hopeless, but I must start somewhere.  I am guilty of the taste test bit.  I will try to keep in mind what you said and watch it. 

Hi mary-  My sister gave birth to her first; then became pregnant three months after- and her two daughters are 11 months apart.  I can only imagine how hard it was on your body to carry two in a row; my sister is my hero!  She found a mommy and me yoga class that she really liked-  the girls get to do yoga and play for playtime; and she gets to workout a bit. 

Would you be able to do some pilates after you put them to bed?  They have DVD's that go for 30-45 minutes; that will really strengthen your core.  I find that my george fore,man grill is great to make a grilled chicken cutlet while everyone else is having something that I feel would not be the best food choice for me.  It literally take 7 minutes to make. 

Also; I have seen people sell excercise equipment at garage sales-  and some of it is really nice.  Maybe you can find a good bargain on a small cardio machine that will fit in you home. 

would you be able to find an inexpensive double stroller?  You can take them on walks to the park or around your neighbor hood; then do peek-a-boo squats to them in the stroller while you work out your lower body.  Babyfit.com has some great workout ideas for mommies with busy lives-  and joining this site to acutall track what you're eating is a big help.  Since you're very aware of your situation and challenges; the more it will help you concquer your strategy to staying and being healthy.

Thanks Vanessa your a big help.  I will try to do some of these things you have suggested.  As far as Pilates... I have tried this in the past and I am just wondering am I not to big to be flexable enough to do this?  I would hate to buy something only to be disheartened about not being able to do it successfully.

Only recently have I felt neglected in my house.  My DS is nearly 4 years old but when I felt the need for Me time I told my DP.  I told him just where I was at emotinally and what the consequences might be.  Now that my DP knows where i am at he can help me.  He is more willing to help out. Sometimes DP's forget we aren't super human.  Let him know that you cannot do it all. 

My other advice is if you are at home all day take time for yourself during the day. So that when your DP gets home you are recharged for him.  I have "quiet" time from 1-3Pm In my house. I enforce it.  My DS usually takes a nap and my step kids watch TV or read books.  Those precious two hours are for me to relax before I start evening hours.  I know it might not be as easy having two toddlers around.  I didn't enforce schedules until about 3 months ago. 

There's also some great Videos on the market that are Mommy and me.  Some are for infants and some are for toddlers.  Also if your child like Sesame street or Telitubbies they both have "work out" videos.  The kids like it and you will break a sweat. 

Also I suggest a double jogging stroller.  A double stroller is one thing, but if you want to jog you'll need a good jogging stroller. For the price of a two month gym membership you can get a reliable jogger.  I have one and I love.

I would like to encourage you. You can loose the weight. Yes, it will be hard! Probably one of the hardest things you have EVER done in your life, but in the end it will be very rewarding.

In July of 2007, I weighed 202 pounds at my GYN's office and was shocked that my weight got up that high. I am 5'3.5" and a medium to large frame. We wanted to start trying for our first, but she (my gyn) recommended that we wait until I lost at least 50 pounds. I was disappointed to hear the news, but I wasn't shocked. I knew I could do it, but thought it would take so long that I'd never get my baby (I'm 31). Well, in the past year I worked very hard, gave up many bad habits and learned many new, good habits. Today, I am down to 146 pounds (goal of 130) and we are hoping to begin trying around the first of the year (give or take three months).

A few recommendations I have: exercise daily (at least 5 days a week for at least 30 minutes a day); if you "fall off the wagon" fall off for only a meal and get right back on (don't use the excuse "Well I've already totally messed up today so now I am going to eat whatever I want for the rest of today and start fresh tomorrow" because tomorrow will never come; instead, tell yourself "Well, I made a bad choice for that meal but my next meal will be healthy"); don't beat yourself up for your weight now...it isn't about how you got to be the weight you are now (believe me during your weight loss you will have to conquer this demon...wait for it to come to you) it is about getting healthy and making healthy decisions for yourself and your family; finally, break up your weight loss into smaller goals and give yourself small rewards (I rewarded myself every time I lost ten pounds and I don't have a lot of money either so my rewards were stuff like asking for a back rub from my DH, taking an extra long shower to pamper myself, painting my nails, et cetera). You are modeling appropriate eating habits for your children and you will succeed at loosing your weight. Give yourself time, and remember the slower that it comes off the easier it will be to keep it off. It isn't a race to see who can get to the finish line the fastest - it is a race of endurance to see who can run the race and last the longest!

Take care of yourself!

Smiles,

Dacia

Thanks to you all for your encouragement.  I think that I can do this and deep down I know I can.... I just want others who feel like this to know that there is hope and that it can be done.  I have lost already and I just hope to continue.  I have a lot of weight to lose... I have a lot of muscle to regain and find.  Is there anyone who has some advice on after pregnacy workout videos, etc. that truely work please let me know.  I love working out at home and want to find things that are known to be worthwhile workouts. 

You know, my mother warned me about that too.  I gained 70 lbs with my daughter, and I lost it slowly, but she warned me early not to eat her food.  She said "you are not the garbage disposal.  Let her have her plate, and you have yours, you don't need to share germs or calories."  And she was right.  Slowly the weight came off, I just tried to eat as healthy as I could.

My girlfriend's mother must not have warned her, however, I went with her somewhere, and was shocked to see how much EXTRA food she ate because she was trying to get her daughter to eat by eating mouthfulls of her food, and then picking up the crusts and leftover bits from her daughter's food.  Then she complained that she wasn't able to lose any weight!

Also remember, that how you eat is an example to your children, so if you diet in an unhealthy way your children are liable to pick up on that and think it is normal.  But it will make you smile inside when your child orders for themself at the restraunt and always asks for fruit or veggies instead of french fries.

PS i got up to 240 after having my daughter, she's going to be 5 soon and I'm down to 170 with 26% body fat =)  slow and steady wins the race!

I just want to say THANK YOU!

I happened upon this thread, and laughed at the "you are not a garbage disposal" comment...

Then I discovered a sandwich in the fridge that my daughter hadn't bothered eating yesterday and had put it away. Yummy tuna mayo and sweetcorn mmm...

Anyways, I kept telling myself not to eat it for lack of caloric info, I still kept thinking about it, and then I told myself over and over again "I AM NOT A GARBAGE DISPOSAL" picked it up and put it in the bin. Yay. I did have two cookies though...