pressured to gain, regretting it.

it took me roughly a year and a half to lose 30 pounds and once i reached my goal i felt like i've never looked better. but then a lot of people in my life kept pressuring me to gain some of it back because they thought i was too thin. so i decided to stop counting calories, but continue to make better choices...resulting in about a 5 pound gain (even though some friends keep telling me to gain more. now, i'm short...so 5 pounds is really obvious i hate the way i look in my clothes AND the way i look naked. i even feel slightly resentful of all the people that pressured/guilted me into doing this. thoughts?

if you feel 5lbs you are suffering some sort of dysmorphic body image issue. you would see 5lbs on a new baby....thats about it.

if ppl   (plural) were telling you you looked too thin. chances are, you were.

i've had probably 3 or 4 people comment on me "putting on weight." i knew the number on the scale only showed me going up 5 pounds, i didn't think it would be obvious to anyone but me. 

Original Post by fidget84:

if you feel 5lbs you are suffering some sort of dysmorphic body image issue. you would see 5lbs on a new baby....thats about it.

if ppl   (plural) were telling you you looked too thin. chances are, you were.

i respectfully disagree.

My mom noticed after I lost 5 lbs. She didn't know I was dieting.

Have you talked to your doctor or another healthcare professional about your weight and what weight is appropriate for you?  Have you talked to a counselor about how you feel about the pressure and the 5 lbs?

Are you underweight according to BMI?

In the start of my recovery I was pushed into gaining weight. I also had the resentment but now I see it as they cared and I appreciate it. My mind was so confused and unhealthy it made me feel the way you are. As I have become healthier I see how irrational I was and unhealthy. Since you stated that you are short and 5 pounds made a huge difference which I am going to agree with fidget that it is your mindset making you feel that way but then what about the 30 pounds that must be a huge difference. Can you state your weight and height here? Then we can give you better feedback. Do you get your periods? Do you have other health problems? Sometimes when outside people make comments on weight gain or loss it is not a comment based on actual gain in numbers but because your skin looks healthier,you have less color,look tired or the opposite. Usually though if multiple people tell you that you look like you have lost too much then there is something to it. Do you think there just making this up?

i don't want to discuss my actual weight, but i'm just under 5'2 and usually hover at or slightly over a size zero. i still have my periods, eat small meals six times a day and my calorie intake ranges from 1200-1600 depending on the day. i think people say things because i have naturally a very thin face. even at 5'2 and a size six, my face looked like it belonged to a size 0 person. my top half as well is naturally very thin, my bottom half is a different story. so basically i feel when people look at me and make comments, they are only looking at what they want to see and not whats really going on... and yes- my doctor knows my weight. 

May I ask how old you are? It sounds like you don't want to change so I am not sure what you want from us in terms of response or help. I think people are concerned for you and for that many people to be making a statement of concern there has to be something to it. To me it sounds like you have people who care about you and that should make you feel good. I know it can be scary to look at what you may need to change but don't want to but with the support you have you can. It does not sound like they are against you but possibly against unhealthy behaviors they see. I know even before I becae anorexic in terms of numbers I had lost a lot of weight and people were concerned cause they saw what was in my future. Also the changes in myself mentally like depression/mood. If you feel these people are all wrong then I would talk to them. I think that you are a size 0 have dropped 30 pounds eat 1200-1600 that is not healthy. Very few people naturally can be that thin and if they are they do consume more.

i'm 27 and my weight loss was really slow...about a year and a half. most people that i eat with daily are surprised when they see that i actually eat more than they do. except instead of burgers and fries, my normal dinner will be like 4 oz of grilled chicken, brown rice, a double portion of veg, sparkling water or maybe a glass of wine and something like yogurt and fruit for dessert. my workout routine is light, maybe a half hour of yoga combined with a moderately active job. on days when the weather is pretty (rare) i might go for a leisurely jog. i guess what i don't understand is that i do what everyone says i should be doing, and i'm just thin. i dont feel like i should apologize for it or start eating big macs everyday to make everyone else feel good. i have zero health problems, all my bloodwork and vitals are well within healthy ranges.

Original Post by laurentothemax:

i'm 27 and my weight loss was really slow...about a year and a half. most people that i eat with daily are surprised when they see that i actually eat more than they do. except instead of burgers and fries, my normal dinner will be like 4 oz of grilled chicken, brown rice, a double portion of veg, sparkling water or maybe a glass of wine and something like yogurt and fruit for dessert. my workout routine is light, maybe a half hour of yoga combined with a moderately active job. on days when the weather is pretty (rare) i might go for a leisurely jog. i guess what i don't understand is that i do what everyone says i should be doing, and i'm just thin. i dont feel like i should apologize for it or start eating big macs everyday to make everyone else feel good. i have zero health problems, all my bloodwork and vitals are well within healthy ranges.

I think you know yourself best, and as long as your health isn't compromised, do what makes you feel happiest. I think that posting this in the weight gain forum comes with the chance of people looking for an eating-disordered mentality where there may not necessarily be one. Also keep in mind five pounds is a pretty minor fluctuation, and may not be 100% actual body mass.

this is a bit ridiculous. what the hell do you want us to advise you on? you wont disclose your weight but you want us to contradict your friends who have been saying you are underweight of late.

you could be 70lbs and you want us to encourage you to re-lose that 5lbs. if you're not prepared to disclose acurately the situation then i think you have no business asking advice. i think you are underweight and i think you wont disclose it because you know we'll tel the same thing to you as they did

edit to add. and on further reading of your profile i found this comment from you "at 5'2 and 103 i actually start to feel a little chub on my legs and face''. just so you know that was 2 years ago and if at a bmi of 19.2 2 years ago, you felt a bit chubby and have proceeded to lose more weight then you def have problems now. dont ask us to enable you to keep at an unhealthy weight. its serves no purpose but to piss ppl here off

seriously, i think you're the only person who is pissed off. my only purpose for posting my initial question was to see if anyone else had the same issue and how they dealt with it. i'm not looking for someone to validate any supposed "anorexia" or "disorder."i'm not looking for "enablers." i just don't think my real weight is any of your business. obviously, you are looking for a fight, and you're not going to get one from me. i don't appreciate your adolescent, pseudo-intellectual head trip responses to what i feel is just a legitimate search for advice. thanks to everyone else, however, who responded constructively. i'm done here now. enjoy your holiday.

Original Post by laurentothemax:

seriously, i think you're the only person who is pissed off. my only purpose for posting my initial question was to see if anyone else had the same issue and how they dealt with it. i'm not looking for someone to validate any supposed "anorexia" or "disorder."i'm not looking for "enablers." i just don't think my real weight is any of your business. obviously, you are looking for a fight, and you're not going to get one from me. i don't appreciate your adolescent, pseudo-intellectual head trip responses to what i feel is just a legitimate search for advice. thanks to everyone else, however, who responded constructively. i'm done here now. enjoy your holiday.

No, it kind of irks me, as well. I can't give people advice if I don't know their weight. What if you weigh under 100lbs? It would be wrong for me to encourage you to lose 5lbs. But if you weigh 120lbs, then it would be okay for me to encourage this. 

If you're uncomfortable sharing your weight on an anonymous calorie counting website, then I think it points to something bigger. You're either insecure about your weight or you know it's too low and you don't want to be scolded. 

If you're really just insecure about your weight, then at least tell us your BF% or something else that will help us give you some advice. 

I gave you my feedback that I was pushed into recovery at first and felt the feelings you are having. I got similar feedback from fidget and others but truly they were right and I see that now since I am healthier. Thankful too cause I read back those responses when I have a hard day and it keeps me motivated. There are still days I have the victim mindset and anger but I have to remind myself the facts and it is fear making me feel that way. You are an adult and are going to do what you want. You remind me of my mom stance. She has full blown anorexia,won't say her weight,and my whole family has tried to do an intervention many times. She won't change and of course not me but others she pushes away and it has made her world small. She has more excuses why everyone is wrong it is scary but fear keeps her from facing it cause then she may have to change. I think what many of us forget is how we hurt loved ones by our self destruction. To me yes the weight # is important but the anger you have and these relationships that are being effected I hope you look at or it is really going to hamper your life. I have lost a lot of family and friend due to their concern and now healthier I still think those relationships will be damaged for ever.

Lauren: It sounds like you might have a little bit of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, i only assume this because i go through the same thing and share a bunch of the same thoughts you do. That being said, let me ask you this.... whats the difference between 100 and 105 rather than the number? Unless were giving out test scores i dont think its really important, and i have not seen any number two pencils being broken out in the great classroom of life recently. Here, in this classroom, there are no notes and no homework to turn in. However, there is the constant assignment to LIVE.... counting is not living.

Also, i would think more along the lines of WHO is telling you to gain a little weight. If its someone like Regina George from the corner cafeteria table then i wouldn't really think twice as 'mean people can suck it'. Howev-sies, if its you mom and circle of friends youv'e known since kindegarden then their advice might be a little more viable. But, either way... dont get held up on what numbers are and stoopid things like that. You better than that and dont deserve it.

1. i am not looking for a fight, i kinda wish you would wake up or shut up.
2. i think you'll find that actually im not the only one pisd off.
3. (and most importantly) i am not a pseudo-intellectual, nor am i adolescent. i am actually quite intelligent and mature. i think you however have your nose firmly out of joint for not receiving the response you wanted.