pro-ana? getting me down

i'm sorry, I am a relative newbie-- but the pro-ana girls are killing me.  Half of me wants to be like them, a quarter of me hates them for being able to starve themselves, and the other quarter wants to hold them down and make them eat.  I want to be supportive... eat girl eat! But then I look in the mirror and imagine myself at 5'5 and 100 lbs... and somehow that sounds good.  And bad.  What do the rest of you do when you see a post "oh i'm down to 89-90 and i'm 5-6."  I mean seriously, 5 lbs for every inch over 5 ft... you should be 130, 115 at the least... HELP!

I stopped reading them.  had to.  they were upseting me and I dont like worrying about people I can do nothing for and dont want to listen to any good advice.

Drea, a friend of mine is ana.  There's nothing pretty about killing yourself, which is exactly what you're doing.  Try to think about how ugly your insides, internal organs, your skin, your hair will look when you're starving them.  You know that if you stop eating fat, your hair and nails stop growing.  Maybe you should look up some biographies of people who've struggled with ana, to realize that some of them died, and some of them still have horrible health issues to this day.

Also, go look up Crystal Renn.  She is motivational for me.  She is a beautiful model who used to be a size 0-2 (she was starving herself) when an agent told her she needed to lose yet more weight.  She gained instead by eating healthy and exercising, and is now hugely, internationally successful and really beautiful.

Hey there, I totally know how you feel.  There are days when I feel uber crappy about myself and I can completely understand why people become anorexic.  But take it from me when I say, in the end, they are screwing themselves over.  My best friend was anorexic, as were a bunch of other girls I know, and now that she's "better," she's realizing how much she's screwed herself over.  By becoming anorexic, she slowed her metabolism way down and now that she's eating normal, she's actually gaining a lot of weight because her body is not used to the food.  Not that she was ever fat to begin with, but now she has to be really careful about her eating habits to prevent herself from becoming anorexic or too big so she has to work twice as hard.  Also, anorexia causes your body to eat itself, but not the parts you want.  It can destroy your muscle (which gives you that awesome definition and tone everyone wants) and your organs. 

So, while anorexia is a quick fix, it really does screw you over in the end.  If you don't kill or seriously harm your body by becoming anorexic, then at the least you'll make it harder to loose weight.  What I did is talked to a nutritionist/personal trainer.  He analyzed how many calories I needed to be eating to lose weight.  May I suggest you never go under 1500 because, if you're exercising regularly, your body will become too tired to perform the stuff you're asking it too and may start to eat at your muscle along with your fat.  Calories are not the enemy.  Just remember to eat frequently (5-6 times a day) and small meals and the right foods.  Low-fat and low-carb isn't your best bet.  Instead, try to eat healthy and organic foods.  Carbs and fats are not the enemy.  Just eat the right carbs and fats (like veggies, a great carb) and stray away from the wrong carbs and fats (candy bars, cookies, doughnuts, etc...) and you'll notice a difference.  Also, don't forget cardio along with whatever exercise you're doing.  3 times a week should be good.

Sorry this ended up so long, but I hope it helped.  You're not the only one who wonders what if, but trust me when I say it is not worth it.  Oh, one last thing.  Obviously, no one can stay perfect forever.  What I like to do is treat myself to a "free day" twice a month.  On those two days I don't count calories and will endulge a little.  But the trick is to stop eating once you're not hungry, not once you're stuffed.  Good luck and remember you're not alone!

slappy, it's 11:00, go to bed!

drea, I know what you mean.  If the posts make you feel like that, you need to not read them, take a break from the forums, whatever you need to do to put some distance between yourself and feeling like that.  seriously.

and for the people choosing to starve themselves... I start with the supposition that it's an accident.  And if theyr'e relaly determined to starve themselves, I have to let them go, I mean, what, I have no idea who they are, I can't have them committed.. .I can ask them to take care of themselves and support them if they choose to recover.  Other than that...

see i always really wanted to be bullemic--- im a binger.  and i'll manage to starve for a little bit before i binge and get bigger than before.  my mom and i were actually talking about it the other day-- why do we just sit there and eat and eat and eat.... and i was like "im a bullemic that never learned how to puke." she laughed but its true.

i can starve to lose 20 lbs in a month... and hate myself.  i can eat to gain 20 lbs in a month... and hate myself. 

and i hate myself for wanting to be able to be like them.  and hating them for being able to do that.  and hating them for being so stupid.

and... i can see how easy it is to let it get into your head like that.  its just one of those nights i think. 

i look in the mirror, and i see disgusting.  and for me, i eat more when i see that.  i mean, what does it matter, im already fat might as well be fatter.  how do you talk yourself down from that?

by posting here, it works for me!

you look at your body and go "hey, I only get one of these.  What's it gonna look like in 5 years if i f*** it up now?"

you look at the parts of you you like- whether those are visible or not.

you write in your journal- or you start a journal.

and you grit it out, because you're tougher than your ED, da**it, and you make it through the night without binging, and without purging, and without starving, and it gets easier one night at a time.

i can binge on anything... hell i have been known to eat salad for several hours straight.  um yeah i did that a few days ago LOL.   sorry guys for being so...down.  just no where else to go tonight to find something... besides food.

no prob!

have you taken a serious look at your starve/binge cycle? are you more likely to binge in reaction to starving, or starve in reaction to binging?  This ca nreally affect where you start, mentally, to break down why you do what you do and how you can stop punishing yourself with food.

It's OK to be down.  Life is tough, it really is, and you wouldn't be human if you didn't get down sometimes!  or, all the time, for a while.  I know that one, too :)

Anorexia and Bulimia are psychological problems,  not experiments in healthy weight loss or health related in any way.

As a psychologist, I've worked with people who suffer from these disorders( they're called disorders for a reason) and the problems go so much deeper than just thinking you're overweight. 

If you're even considering trying either form, please, please ,please stop what you're doing and get the rest of your life in order. See some one professionally or talk to someone you trust that may point you in the right direction.

I can't say this enough, even if you "experiment" with this, it can take over your life like a narcotic. When was the last time you said to yourself," I think I'll start using crystal meth or crack for the rest of my life because of all the good things I've heard"! Or how about just cutting your leg off just to lose 15 lbs?

It is suicide and to the vunerable it is devastating. Let the magazines and TV and movies roll on with how you supposed to look, it's all crap. It may sound cliche and corny but first you have to respect yourself and your place in the world and then you can worry about eating a cookie.

Yeah, I'm super-jealous of the Brazilian supermodel who just died, and the devastated family she left behind.

I'm jealous of Karen Carpenter, who looked like a walking skeleton before her body gave up.

I may be simply wracked with jealousy, but I think I'll keep my chest, my hips, and all the other things that get me stares and flirtation.  I'll keep my ability to fill out a dress into a perfect hourglass.  I'll keep my hair from falling out and my nails from breaking off.

So...what am I supposed to be jealous about again?

I think it's good to note the BR model was only 21 years old... so worth it right? Uhhh... so skinny and pretty, living off tomatoes and apples. Then... poof! Anorexia is the bomb, hun!

She wasn't the only model dying recently. Another from Uruguay died couple of months before at the age of 22.

Giorgio Armani banned size zero models from his shows. Another victory, for some curves! =)

Moderators are monitoring this thread.

An important thing to note about Karen Carptenter is that when she died, she weighed over 120.  She had been in recovery, but the damage she did to her body throughout the years was too great.

It doesn't just go away if you start eating again.

I used to be on livejournal and belonged to all pro-ana/pro-mia groups. I decided enough was enough and came here to avoid all of it but its still around. However, I mainly try to ignore it all cuz im still vulnerable to get that mind set again. I just watched the biggest loser though and realized thats the way to be....healthy! I dont need to put myself through hell (not eating!) to get to what i want....which most likely i wont anyways cuz im now older and my metabolism already sucks haha

Mustard, you are only 15 and I am sorry that you have that mindset. When I was your age, I thought being anorexic was like totally awesome (lol)....but now i realize how STUPID it is. I have alot of journal entries with girls who are always depressed and whatnot about eating over 50 calories or something. Its such a twisted set of mind (....i should add that one girl was afraid to swallow toothpaste because it might have calories)

Do what makes you happy but be careful eh?

From a guys perspective I can tell you those super skinny girls are not what guys want, now women with healthy bodies like beyonca, Rachel Bilson (my personal Fav) ;) are what guys like.  I know it goes much deeper then this but if you are doing it to be attractive trust me its not.

i used to be an anorexic when i was 13, it took me 3-4 years to heal myself, and trust me, IT WAS THE WORST TIME IN MY LIFE
i did binge one day and starve on the other day, i hated my life, my hair was dull, i stopped my period, my skin was so dry, and i didn't have friends! (anorexic people tend to take themselves out of public because they hate to be called too skinny).
But the thing that i learnt from this experience is that anorexic wont help u lose weight forever! trust me, there will be time when u finally came back to ur old routines, and that was terrible (that what happened when i move here to the USA). I used to think that i want to be an ana again, but i ended up GAINING n GAINING n GAINING.
A bunch of site like Xanga didnt help either, that wasnt good to support anorexia or builimics (builimics is very dangerous!) So yea, my suggestion is stay here n let us all build a new eating habit, not ruining our own body :) I've been dieting all my life, and after a year lose of control, i think CC is one of the best thing that help me now

    and i hate myself for wanting to be able to be like them.  and hating them for being able to do that.  and hating them for being so stupid.
    and... i can see how easy it is to let it get into your head like that.  its just one of those nights i think. 
     i look in the mirror, and i see disgusting.  and for me, i eat more when i see that.  i mean, what does it matter, im already fat might as well be fatter.  how do you talk yourself down from that?


Even at the age of 42, and knowing the proper way to lose weight, I find that I can still agree with this (the quote).  I don't see the little changes from the weight loss when I look in the mirror - I just see a blimp with arms and legs that once used to be a curvy, slightly overweight young woman.  Not only do I see a fat, disgusting woman, I see an old woman who wasted most of her life just getting fatter. 

I agree.  How do you talk yourself out of that - when you see the cold hard reality staring you back from that mirror, or from the scale when it's telling you what you really weigh, instead of what you *wish* you weigh?

I have been anorexic and sometimes I still struggle with it. It's a really miserable feeling and I really wish I could be one of those people who never had to worry about this.  It's usually doesn't even have anything to do with weight. Most of the time it's a control issue, along with anxiety and depression. So, please don't hate me or try to be this.

Sorry, for those who can't be told off of their ana-habit I have no sympathy and ain't gona waste my breath for that. Especially if urging ppl to get into it, instead of acknowledging it and seek help. If they think it works for them then so be it. You have to work with whatever you know best for yourself. If you know the healthy way then stick to it.

Drea honey, don't let it get you down. You should focus on what is good for you.

I want to be supportive... eat girl eat! But then I look in the mirror and imagine myself at 5'5 and 100 lbs... and somehow that sounds good.
Um, ... NO.
I am 5-2, and I was at the lightest at 103 - that was even lighter than when I was in hi school! Sure my pants were loose, at size 0! But I looked: sick, hagard, sunken cheeks, sunken eyes, aged, looked 10-years older, pale, bad skin complexion, loose skin, hanging flabs on arms and butt. Even then, those were not from anorexia and I was still having my fill here and there. Can you imagine that to sound good? Hope not.

I won't bore you with all the diets I've been through. But now, I eat. Eat, eat, and eat, eat, and eat (6 times a day - if you don't believe me I can send you my food log). Moderation, of course, and wisely, as healthy as I can get. And exercise, very important, routinely but not excessively.
And what do I get? A better and fitter me.
Do I get fat from eating? Heck no! Au contrare, I am actually tightening up! I don't weigh myself for months by now. Yet my reflection in the mirror tells me I don't have to.

I am aiming for my goal with a common sense now, because I intend to keep the result this time. I feel happier, better about myself. I finally able to LIVE and EAT enjoyably. And so can you. Just keep up with the healthy and sensible diet, coupled with good exercise routine. And stick to it. ::hugs:: ^_^b