Problem not food but drink.

I love red wine.  It is both my best friend and worst enemy.  O how I love to hate it.  I am trying to lose about 15 pounds (to 130 from 145/ 46 yo f).  I have little trouble keeping to 12 - 1300 calories of good healthy food a day, but tend to destroy all those good works with calories from wine at night. 

I have a tendency toward alcoholism (family demon), but these days I am generally able to keep consumption under control.  Still and all, 300 - 400 calories of red wine a night is sabotaging my efforts.  I am hoping a bit of confession will help strengthen my resolve to kick this distressing habit.

ps.  My husband is a wine salesman.

Thanks for *listening*.

Sasacaro

I love wine as well.  I just make room for it in my calories.  I have managed to lose 35 pounds, and I have not given up any of my favorite food or drink.  I usually don't drink much wine during the week, and if I do, it's one glass (which, yes, I weigh).

If you are trying to quit drinking period, maybe replace the habit with another non-alcoholic low calorie beverage/water.

It will be tough given your husband's occupation :(

Normally, I push moderation. Moderation is good and as such would mean you would not need to cut the wine out altogether.

But 300 to 400 calories of wine a night is far too much. On average, that'd be about two large, 250ml glasses of an average 12% strength, which equates six units a night. It's been shown that excess of the recommended units of alcohol for women - which is 2 to 3 daily - can increase your chances of health problems. Though just saying "300-400 cals of wine a night" should be evidence enough that is NOT going to be good for you.

If there's a history of alcoholism in your family I suggest you really, really cut down or cut it out altogether. Start keeping a drink diary. List how many you've had, and how many calories that totals, every day. Then, think what you could've eaten for that many calories. Alcohol contains the second highest amount of calories per gram after fat, with 7 calories per gram. And you still don't knock back food as fast you can a glass of wine.

Try to alternate your alcohol with water. Or, keep it to that one glass a night, 125ml (that's a SMALL glass) with your evening meal. But really, I think you should cut it out. Perhaps also look into a programme like Alcoholics Anonymous - not saying you are one, but it is still a group that may be worth your while.

You could also try swapping your wine for herbal teas. Just a suggestion, if you like those.

But remember, no one is going to think any less of you if you drink less. I bet if you approached your husband regarding this he'd be thoroughly supportive of you.

Dude, I feel you. But I always make room in my calories for wine - I like having 2 glasses of wine at night. I am not willing to give up something I truly enjoy (not abuse!) My neighbor is also a wine merchant, so he's always sharing something yummy with us! I have accepted that I love gourmet food and wine too much to give them up - I just have less of it all.

I also l-o-v-e to cook, and cooking dinner usually takes me almost 2 hours. I have one glass of wine while I cook (some for the pot, some for me!), one while I eat, and a small aperitif with a sweet after dinner (small piece of chocolate or something.)

Having a glass or two of wine at night does not make you an alcoholic, so long as you're not filling a pint glass with wine and counting that as 1 drink. If you have a black hole in your tummy that must  be filled with red wine, well, that's a different story. How do you feel about your drinking?

if you are eating 1300 calories and then consuming 300 calories in wine, that means that almost 20% of your daily calories are coming from a source with almost zero nutritional value. i myself am a huge red wine fan, but our bodies deserve better than that, for sure! i agree with lala, try some herbal tea in place of the wine. try and figure out what you think that that wine is doing for you and find something to replace it. i wouldn't eliminate it entirely, but you might want to think about cutting back!

You could also increase your exercise so you have a bit more leeway.

When I am trying not to drink too much I find that alternating drinks with sparkling water (in a wine glass) does the trick.  After a while I started liking the water more than the wine...

I agree with lalabanana....  Several glasses of wine every day isn't simply a problem with calories.   You don't have to be alcoholic to get liver damage - being a heavy drinker is enough.  And, sadly, more than 1 or 2 units a day puts you in the heavy drinker category.  The liver is an incredibly tough organ that can sustain a huge amount of damage and keep working.  A liver can be 50%, 60% or 80% damaged and you won't notice any ill-effects.  It won't show up on any tests and you'll feel and look fine.  But when it gets to 90%+ damage, suddenly and without warning, you'll be in hospital and seriously ill.  If you've been drinking heavily for a lot of your adult life it's a very real risk. 

I'd personally suggest you try to go without wine at all for about a week.  This is long enough for you to work out how dependent you are on alcohol (hopefully not at all), it'll let you see what effect it has been having on your weight and it'll also allow you to get out of the habit a little, find other things to drink and other ways to relax.  After your week off, if you then cut back to 1 or 2 glasses a week as a treat, you'd certainly find your weight was easier to control and the health risks were much lower.

If you do find you're dependent then you need to get a different kind of help.  Best of luck

Wine is my problem too, I have learned to "cut" it with club soda. I mix it half and half still get to enjoy my wine without the extra calories or health issues. And it keeps me hydrated. Good luck to you. Just a thought, but what would you do if your husband sold caskets?

Thanks, all, for your helpful and thoughtful replies.  I'm pretty convinced that the wine issue is part of a daily pattern that I can break with more will power and dedication.  For instance, if I am out of my daily work-to-home routine (like when visiting my sister over the holidays) I did not drink.  This suggests to me that the drinking is habit/pleasure/stress relief more than disease

Those of you who point out the health concerns and the disproportionate consumption of wine calories to food calories are perfectly correct, of course  This is not good at all and I knew this before I posted!  Just thought that confession  might help combat resistance to change and denial. 

Best, Sasacaro

I have been dealing with the same issue. I greatly enjoy wine and gradually got up to 2 glasses a night, starting right after I stopped work (I work at home). For a while I found that I could not comfortably go without having a glass of wine when I left my office and came down to the kitchen. I set to wondering what it was that was underlying the urge, since I wasn't getting a "buzz" from the wine. What I realized is that having a glass of wine was like a ritual that marked the end of my work day. The first glass easily led to the second. So as some other people have suggested, I replaced the wine with glass of herbal tea (mint for me) or occasionally, a diet no caf soda. That got me down to wine on weekends only, then I cut the "weekend" from Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights to Saturday only. So for me the clue was replacing one habit with another. Which I think is what you are suggesting in your own post - that it is a habit issue.

Your comment more common than i had realized. Like you many of us fight the same issue. Alcohol, is relaxing so your day ends fast and easy. I find without it, I look for a desert where normally I don't eat sweets.  I am counting my calories, eating alot of lean cuisines for all meals plus a big salad, working out for 40 min doing cardio minimum 500 calorie burn and lifting weights 3 days a week. The result for me has been a good start to drop the puffiness and feel better.  Good luck, try doing extra cardio to burn what you consume as a goal. 

Cheers

M

Thanks, Elizabeth and Mike.  I think you are exactly right.  I need to find a substitute treat/ritual that will help me mark the end of my work day.  I am going to do my best to try an herbal tea today.  Ultimately, I would like to be as successful as you all in knocking out the habit.

OK.  Now I know I'm not alone!  I love my wine, really, I do.  I also stay home with four children ALL day every day, as we homeschool.  I'm telling you, thinking I can have some wine when I start dinner is like picturing a vacation...something that breaks up the day and releases a little tension.  I am currently working on moderating better, counting the calories in the drinks, logging them in my food log, to see the real picture, and am considering (CONSIDERING) going wine free during the week, and saving for the weekends.  My husband is doing this with me, the only way I think I could change my habits, as he wants to lose like, 30 pounds.  And he knows, as I do, once we staring having wine, those are not only empty cals that slow the metabolism, but it greatly reduces our will power to not over eat at night.  It really is a double edged sword.  But I also don't think that totally depriving ourselves of favs (as long as you keep your history of alcoholism in mind, I have to, also) is productive in the long run.  As a girl who lost her first ever 15 pounds at age 19 by Slim-fasting solely for a month and walking 2 miles daily (and lost it all in a month), and then went through young-mid adulthood having 4 babies and trying every "diet" on the planet to lose the baby weight, I have finally learned (I think!) at 38 that I will never stick to anything extreme.  Also, my 11 year old daughter deserves a better example than that.  I am at 143, 5'5" (2-3 pounds are my new breasts thankyouverymuch as they were DESTROYED by 5 years of breastfeeding!) and am aiming for 135.  Only 8 to go (aren't they the hardest!), and I'll probably stop there as that seemed reasonably maintainable before the last baby, who is nearly 2.  We'll see.

Sorry to go on and on, but hopefully you can see you're not alone!  I can't figure out how to do the "friend" thing, but if you can, we can continue conversation and checking on each other if you like.  An accountability buddy always helps.  Have a great day!

Oh, P.S.  I have found that the "ritual" of getting the glass out, but just pouring up a diet soda with crushed ice, or a sparkling water/fruit juice thing goes a long way towards satisfying that habit at "that" time of day.  It ain't the real thing, but there really is a ritual that involves the glass, the feel, the pouring...OK, now I sound like I need to go to Betty Ford!

You are so right!  I feel the same way.  Thanks for making me feel better about myself.  Some of the posts make me feel like a real loser.

I know this probably defeats the purpose of wine completely, but I know that my flatmate's mum has started drinking non-alcoholic red wine because she can't handle the alcoholic volume. I can't tell you if the calories are a lot different, but maybe this will help wean you off the alcohol a bit first and trick your tastebuds (oh, and I can not guarantee that it tastes the same as I've never tried it!)? Or maybe if you dislike the taste you will drink less of it! 

Anyways, good luck.

I read all the comments and I can really feel for you.  Eating food has never been my problem.. But I love my beer (not wine) and its not the low cal stuff.. Its the good deep rich beers.  I just have to give them up when I diet.  And when I lose the 50 or so lbs I want to lose then I might have to drink alot less of them.

Good Luck to you