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|An interesting look at calories + a smile waiting to happen
Entry on Sep 26 2012 11:54
|Another lesson learned
Entry on May 03 2012 17:42
|A change of thinking
Entry on Apr 19 2012 08:40
I find myself very interesting. Is that egotistical? Coming up with a few words to say about myself, though, is really quite hard.
I am a disgustingly cheerful morning person who happens to LOVE Mondays, gets angry at people's cruelty (towards animals and their fellow man), despises the term "baby mama" and "baby daddy" , is allergic to idiots (as well as bleach, Benadryl and transparent tape), has serious issues with germs and touching things that may possibly be sticky (I have issues), a peanut butter-aholic, abhors complacency (which would explain why I never just sit still), loves laughing, believes in doing the right thing and that all people are inherently good, though I have been tested.
I am highly intelligent and knowledgeable (which I completely blame on my curiosity), love organizing things and doing laundry, hate (and I mean HAAAAAATE) drama, trustworthy and VERY trusting (sometimes to my own detriment), loving and caring, loyal, honest, thoughtful, respectful, sentimental, polite, emotional, a true friend (I have never met someone who I can't call friend and only choose to end friendships after I've been hurt to a point where I can no longer put myself in the position to be hurt again - though I think that now I need to be more selective about these friendships) and I can be very over-protective of the ones that I hold dear.
I am eccentric, enthusiastic, a little insecure, opinionated, charismatic, exciting, annoying (I know I am), adventurous, creative, resilient, surprising, energetic and completely down-to-earth.
I am a shoe lover, an avid reader, a dreamer, a talker (it's a hobby of mine haha), a tourist no matter where I am (there is always something else to learn about where you are), a Catholic (but not one of THOSE Catholics), a writer, an artist, a champion of free speech, a crusader to save the world and a purveyor of delectable fare and pulchritudinous confections.
I am a sister, a daughter and the greatest aunt in the world (just ask my nieces). :)
I am a glass is overflowing even when it's empty kinda girl ... imperfect, but authentically and awkwardly me.
Told you it was hard to do in a few words hahaha ... but that pretty much sums it up.
Now on to MY GOALS ... I am here to (stopping myself from writing the word "attempt" here - positive thinking, Meghan, positive thinking) lose the weight that inflicts my body. I am a relatively healthy eater - I don't eat meat (though I do, on occasion, eat a piece of fish or some shrimp), stay away from those carb-killers (pasta, rice, potatoes and bread), eat tons of vegetables, LOVE apples, can't stand fried food, drink tons of water, don't drink alcohol and never drink regular sodas (I grew up on Diet Coke and Diet Sprite so regular sodas are just TOO sweet for me). My problems are: portion control (which, when I think about it, I do quite easily - just have to make sure I think about it), sweets (OH MY GOD SWEETS!!) and sometimes just pure laziness (I will sit on the couch KNOWING and actually WANTING to exercise, but for some reason my body JUST DOESN'T get up). Maybe it's not so much laziness, but motivation. I also lack willpower - if my mother brings home a cake, I will eat it - I just can't help myself. I can lie to myself (the old adage that broken cookies have less calories than whole ones), but I CANNOT lie to someone else, which I think is why this thing is working out so well for me so far.
My first goal is to be under 200 pounds. That's really a big deal to me - the fact that I weigh over 200 pounds and have for quite some time now. I am not at my biggest (that was almost 275), but when I look in the mirror I want to cry. My main goal is to be around 150 - so my second goal is to be 175. If I make it to 150 and don't look ick then I will go for it. More so than the actual weight, I want to be healthy. I FEEL unhealthy - I'm sure there are lots of you that know what I'm talking about. Stairs make me winded, keeping up with my nieces was hard when they were here last summer ... and I notice that when I work out I can't do what I once could. I want to be stronger, I want to be able to run, I'd really like to start biking again. I'd like to participate in a walk-athon for charity - a marathon - bike through the country - be comfortable in a swimsuit again (which would lead to me being willing to put myself in a wet suit in the water in front of people to learn to surf). I want to be able to give my clothes to charity without people thinking "This lady must have been a fat pig" - I'm sure they don't think that, but in my brain that thought is there. I want to be able to go to my 20 year high school reunion in a few years and finally be a beautiful girl (I was overweight in high school - the typical tomboy that had no boyfriend, who's friends had to hook her up with their boyfriends friends for school dances). I want to be comfortable with myself again (with my looks at least) to put myself out there on the dating market again - after three loser boyfriends, the weight got even higher and my lack of self-worth got even greater.
I've tried all sorts of diets, even tried starving myself, but honestly I like food way too much for that. I want to do it a healthy way, even if it takes longer than I want - can't I just snap my fingers and it be gone? I watched my sister lose the weight in a few very unhealthy ways (tons of diet pills, lots of coffee and laxatives, drug and alcohol binges, only eating broccoli or nothing at all, smoking a pack of cigarettes or more a day) and now, if she even thinks she put on a pound, she completely freaks out and won't eat for a week. She says her self esteem was better when she was bigger because she didn't have to constantly worry about what she's putting in her mouth. I don't want to be like that - which is why I chose to make a change to the way I think and the way I live - and the way I see food.
Okay ... well ... now that I've given you WAAAAY too much attention ... hahaha ...
|Interests||9: , activism, cooking, hiking, movies, outdoors, reading, walking, writing|
|Forum Posts||1 posts (0 per day)
All posts by Raiyine
What a crock
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