Posts by adryael
|Health & Support||Cutters||Nov 05 2007
I am absolutely FURIOUS with what I have read here. It seems that NONE of you have any experience whatsoever with SI. I also want all of you to lay off zmarsh. If any of you had experience with depression/suicide you would know that most depressed/suicidal people find it therapeutic to help others because it gives them a safe environment to analyze their own feelings.
Some info, first, SI is an addiction just like alcoholism, drug addiction, exercise addiction, etc. SI allows a way for individuals to seek emotional release through the use of physical pain. And can anyone think of a time in one's life more rife with emotions than adolescence?
Some people drink to deal with their emotional stress, some people take drugs, and some people cut. Considering that drinking and drug use causes serious internal damage, at least cutting only leaves scars on the skin which can heal cleanly and while they are permanent (without cosmetic surgery) at least it doesn't cause irreparable internal damage such as cirrhosis or brain damage.
In fact, recovered SI-ers provide some of the best support to sufferers, unlike your average parent who has no experience whatsoever with SI and is likely to lock their kid in their room or in a nuthouse without trying to even understand the problem. There are people trained to understand and treat SI unlike most parents, teaching, pastors, etc. who have no training.
So get yourself educated before you start laying on the insults.
|The Lounge||Name Change||Nov 04 2007
|I changed my name legally from Emily to the letter M. The judge gave me a hard time and asked me if one of my parents put me up to it or something. So trust me, if I can change my name from the worst name in the history of the universe (Emily) to the coolest name in the universe (M) then you can too.|
|Health & Support||Depression||Nov 04 2007
I am clinically depressed and have been on medication for over 4 years. I'm just starting to go off them successfully for the first time .
I have tried to commit suicide twice and planned it more times than I can remember.
Here are some suggestions from the other side.
1. Don't do the stereotypical "what's making you sad?" questions. They don't work. People who are depressed don't often have an answer to that. Or if they do, it's a whole cartload of reasons. So there usually isn't a simple "why are you depressed?" answer. So skip the question altogether. I hated getting that from my friends.
2. Don't treat us like we're sick. It just makes us feel more messed up and more justified in thinking that we don't deserve to live. The friend who did the most for me basically pretended that I wasn't depressed at all, and would just show up and drag me out of my apartment to get breakfast, or go shopping with him, or walk around the city with him because (get this) "he didn't want to feel lonely." This was amazing. If he had said "let's get out so you won't feel so sad" or "come on, it's good for you" or "it'll make you feel better" I think I would've ran back inside and locked the door and cried. Instead, he made it seem like I was helping him.
3. If you're in therapy, talk about how much it's been helping. I refused to go to therapy (since I believed I was so messed up there was nothing that could make me better), but after about 2-3 months of listening to one of my friends talk about how great his therapist was and how much it helped, I actually decided to go. Now, 4 years later, I'm in much better shape for it.
4. Don't push. The biggest set back I ever had was when my mother (the cause of most of my depression I would realize) found out that I was on medication and started pushing all the time, asking questions like "are you feeling better?" "what can I do to help?" "did I do something wrong?" "do you need to see a therapist now?" etc. etc. She made me feel like I was so awful that I wasn't making better/faster progress with my therapy I plunged into a horrible cycle of depression to the point where my therapist got so frustrated she said "just stop talking to your Mother."
5. Be careful with the whole religious thing. A lot of priests/pastors lay on the guilt and the sin which makes depressed people more depressed and more convinced that no one (including God) loves them. I went down that road. It was horrible. I wanted to kill myself but then I kept being told that suicide was the most terrible sin of all, so I started feeling guilty about wanting to kill myself, which made me more depressed which made me want to kill myself even more, which made me feel guilty...you get the picture. It was ugly. So in order to "not actually kill myself but sort of kill myself" I started trying to "accidentally" cross the street in front of speeding cars and stuff so that I could kill myself without actually sinning. Find a church where they're all about Joy, Hope, and Love (which I believe is the whole point of Christianity anyways) rather than sin.
6. Don't treat depression or medication likes it's a weakness. This is the prevailing thought regarding psychological problems nowadays and it's so harmful. After all, if we're so weak, why don't we just help the world and take ourselves out of it.
I hope this helped. Good luck, you'll need it.
p.s. I owe my life to my best friend. So there is hope.
|Foods||Does this happen to anyone else?!||Nov 04 2007
Sure. That definitely happens to me. I drink a lot of herbal tea (I love mint) and soup (miso soup, chicken broth, tomato soup) to keep it under control. Or, I just let myself graze but keep it to healthy foods. I would recommend keeping a lot of healthy grazing options around like nuts, carrots, celery, apples, grapes, blueberries, clementines (small and bite sized), radishes (if you like them), nori (dried seaweed that I love), edamame (soybeans), etc. etc. If you need some sugar or chocolate, chocolate covered or yogurt covered raisins or peanuts are really good for you.
I think grazing your body is probably telling itself (rightly) that it needs variety. Your body needs nutrition from a variety of sources. It needs essentially fatty acids (nuts provide some of the best sources of essential fatty acids), it needs vitamins (beta-carotene from carrots, vitamin c from apples), both simple and complex carbohydrates (cereal and chocolate), also fiber, and minerals like calcium (frozen yogurt).
Human beings were originally grazers, combining the nuts and berries they found in the wild, with the meats they hunted, with the grains and vegetables they grew. This BS restrictive dieting crap is all a fad (and in my mind a conspiracy to deprive women of both self-esteem and money).
|Weight Loss||water burns 70 calories||Nov 03 2007
|wouldn't that make sense about hot water, you know, cooling it down from 200 something degrees (I can't believe I just forgot the boiling temperature of water, I think it's 219 F) to 98.7 degrees? I mean, homeostasis is homeostasis, it shouldn't matter is it's hot or ice cold. I mean 32 degrees F to 98.7 degrees F seems easier to warm than cooling (expending heat) from 219 degrees F to 98.7 degrees, right? Although I guess it would then depend on the weather, if it was cold weather, your body would have to work harder to warm itself, but if it's warm weather the ice water just works with your body to cool itself, so logically you wouldn't burn as many calories. So what, I should drink ice cold water in the winter and hot water in the summer? No way. I'd rather go walk around the block, at least I'm guaranteed to burn calories.|
|Foods||Miso Soup - Good or Bad?||Nov 03 2007
Sashimi is very good for you. It's fish (which is filled with Omega-3 & Omega-6 fatty acids), essential fatty acids, and there's no rice if you're worried about filling up on carbs.
Also, keep this in mind. The Japanese people have the longest life expectancy of ANY people on EARTH. Japanese food is AMAZING for you.
If you're not into raw fish, there's also low calorie Japanese foods such as Udon noodles (which I eat almost daily) that are only about 300 calories a bowl and are very filling.
As the last post said, seaweed is great for you, so a seaweed salad is a great appetizer. Also, seaweed helps repair sun damage and improve your skin texture. So, low calorie and it makes me beautiful? Sign me up!
Also, many Japanese dishes are made with tofu, and Soba noodles are buckwheat, a high protein substance.
Another thing, try to go to an AUTHENTIC Japanese restaurant. Many Chinese people open fake Japanese restaurants where they add MSG and are unhygienic. I'm Chinese, so don't think I'm kidding about this. Chinese men do not wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. Imagine a Chinese man preparing your sushi roll. Ew! If you can't tell the difference between people speaking Chinese or Japanese, I would recommend to go up and ask the sushi chef "where in Japan are you from?" If you're not up to date on Japanese geography listen for words like "Osaka, Tokyo, Kyoto, Yokohama, Sapporo, etc."
I'm particularly partial to Osakans who have this thing called "kuidaore" (pronounced "kwee-door-eh") where the people of Japan blow all their money on a night out eating and drinking and enjoying life.
In case you haven't noticed, I'm passionate about Japanese food and culture. I used to say "if I have to be born Asian, why couldn't it have been Japanese," although I really wish I was Irish. I know, I know, I have issues about my race, but, hey no one's perfect.
|Foods||Sweet Poision as Must read||Nov 01 2007
|Agreed. For future reference to all those who are thinking of posting such things, please check your facts before they're posted. littlebytes, this post isn't meant to berate you (so don't take it the wrong way), I'm so psyched that you looked it up on snopes. My mother sends me about 3-4 of such hoax emails a day and she believes everything she reads, I'm glad to see that someone (you) has the smarts to be skeptical (especially of anything with an internet origin).|
|Weight Loss||Starvation Mode Confusion||Oct 27 2007
That's because you're at a normal weight. Your BMI is even on the low side of "normal." Your body knows instinctively what weight is normal and is trying to hold on to your health.
You sound like you're on an eating disorder road, I've had one so I understand that need to feel skinny, but I really think you should consider getting help from a nutritionist, a personal trainer, or a psychologist. I don't want to see you go down the road I went.
Another thing to keep in mind. Healthy weight loss is 1 lb. per week. If you weighed yourself at different times during the day, normal weight fluctuations can occur over a 3 week period that would cause it to seem like you're not losing any weight. 3 weeks is not a very long time.
|The Lounge||China's one-child policy||Oct 25 2007
Unless China fixes it's totally sexist culture, I completely disagree with the one-child policy. Female children are being aborted, murdered, and generally mistreated from the minute they're born to the minute they die (I know, I am one). The lucky ones get adopted by loving Western families. The unlucky ones get an untimely grave, or abducted, viciously raped and forced to marry.
If I sound bitter, it's BECAUSE I AM. Isn't it great to be a disappointment when you're born because you have the wrong set of genitalia?!
|Weight Loss||Stop, Take a Breath, and Re-evaluate||Oct 25 2007
Check out my journal rant on a similar subject. I'm a recovering/recovered anorexic and these forums make me want to throw things.
|Weight Loss||My Mother, and Cultural Attitudes Toward Weight Loss||Oct 21 2007
|Try being asian. My mom is 5' 2" 95 lbs and thinks I'm fat no matter what. I was anorexic for 8 years with her help! She would encourage me to stop eating. Want to trade?|
|New Members||Show me the way! Please!!!||Oct 21 2007
|see my "hot sauce" thread. hot sauce is 0 calories, boosts your metabolism (since you sweat and it raises your heart rate), and causes you to eat less. put it on anything.|
|Weight Loss||5 pounds in 4 days.||Oct 21 2007
Women can easily gain or lose 5 lbs over a week or a day. Please read: http://primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/library/w eight/scale.htm
Losing 5 lbs in 4 days steadily is unhealthy, and feeling proud of it is normal, but also the first step down the road of ED. I've had an eating disorder for 8 years and I don't want you going down the same road. Try to focus on a holistic goal rather than a number.
|Health & Support||is there something wrong with me?||Oct 21 2007
|I agree with muttlover. I have been anorexic for 8 years. It's a psychological disorder. You have it. Get help now. ED is easy to diagnose: if you wonder if you have one, you probably do.|
|Weight Loss||normal still doesn't look good.||Oct 21 2007
|You are either already anorexic, have body dismorphic disorder or are on the way there. I've been Ana (recovering) for 8 years, and I suggest you get help now!|
|Health & Support||how do you know if you're anorexic?||Oct 21 2007
Well. I've been recovering for 8 years and have met a bunch of fellow recoverees and I haven't met one who was free of body anxiety and stuff. But then again, have you ever met more than a handful of women who were happy with their bodies? My goal is to get to a point where I'm as anxious about my body as the average (non-ana) woman.
I think the biggest key is to not confuse happiness with skinnyness (i.e. what you perceive skinnyness to mean). Thin should equal happy, however everywhere (parents, media, our own heads) we are told that this is true.
I was valedictorian of my high school, I graduate from an Ivy League college **** Laude (With Honors in Latin, because the idiot computer thinks it's a curse word), and was part of a honors society, and yet, the only time I ever felt proud of myself was when I lost weight. How messed up is that? Objectively speaking I should feel so good about achieving academic success, and yet, I don't.
That's what Ana did to me. I'm done with feeling bad about myself and measuring my self worth by numbers on a scale.
Ha. Easier said than done though. I've nowhere close. At least I'm at the point where I realize I'm being ridiculous.
|Health & Support||how do you know if you're anorexic?||Oct 20 2007
I am 22 years old. I have been trying to recover from anorexia for over 8 years. I know what you're going through. I have one and only one suggestion: GET HELP NOW!
I have seen more than one friend DIE (that's right DIE) due to anorexia. Right now, tell your mother you have anorexia (don't say "I'm anorexic" since anorexia is a disease, it does not define you as a person) and they MUST get you to an eating disorder SPECIALIST (NOT a regular psychologist or psychiatrist).
Things to keep in mind.
1. You will never ever fully recover from anorexia (I guess it's kind of like cancer or HIV, you can go into remission or you can get a handle on the disease but it never fully disappears), so you will need to spend a lifetime of watching yourself (I've met anorectics who are in their forties and fifties are still at it). This sounds a little scary but it's important to understand that because it is SO easy to relapse back into anorexia or switch to bulimia or exercise bulimia. The good news is that there are a lot of other women in the same boat, and we're here to help.
2. You will never be happy with your body. That's the definition of anorexia. Instead of trying to be happy with your body, try to find something that is acceptable and is NOT a number. This is important. For me, I want to feel strong and powerful. I won't feel thin or beautiful (means the same thing to me) but I realize that I will NEVER feel thin or beautiful no matter how much I weigh), but I will (one day) feel strong, and that's acceptable to me.
3. Try to disambiguate happiness with skinnyness. This is that absolute hardest thing and I still haven't completely figured this out. I used to think that I would never be happy unless I was skinny. Today I try to visualize happiness in terms of other things, like happiness is rescuing stray cats (which I do). Or happiness is finishing a Sudoku in under 10 minutes, stuff like that.
4. Anorexia is a DISEASE. It is like cancer. I'm sure you've read about people saying "I had the strength of will to live, so I beat the cancer." This applies to ED (eating disorders) as well. Have the strength to live. Have the strength to fight the disease. If you start visualizing Ana as an enemy rather than a friend, it will be easier to "convince yourself to eat." That voice in your head that says "you're fat, you're disgusting, you're worthless, you don't deserve food," or "what are you weak? you can't even control your appetite?" or "what are you doing? you're giving in by eating that!" isn't you. That is NOT you. That is not you thinking, that is the enemy that lives inside you.
I completely and totally know what you're going through, go ahead and drop me a message if you need someone to talk to. I was more of a depressive anorexic rather than an obsessive anorexic (which sounds closer to what you are), but I'll still help you out in any way I can.
Luv and Good Luck