agentcyclosarin
| Member Since | Mar 2, 2007 |
 Male |  Send Message
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| Last Login | Jan 2, 2008 | |
| Location | London ON CA | |
| Website | Livejournal | |
| AOL |  xdryxsalivax [Send Message] |
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| MSN | lickwid.speed-kisses.x@hotmail.com | |
| Birthdate | 1987-07-14 | |
About
| Bio | Well when I first came here I was on a search for something not so healthy. When I look back and realize that daily I was only taking in 200 callories and would panic if I consumed more than five hundred and didn't burn over 3000 I realize now more than before, I definately had a problem. It was strange for someone that was always a bit bigger and normally prideful. I never felt the need to fit in, I never felt the need to be terribly slender although admitedly I did always have a problem with food, in retrospect. What threw me the most I suppose was the absolute butchering of logic. Strange as I may come off to be, I'm someone highly built on logic and facts. When I realized what I was doing to myself and realized how it was damaging me, I thought, "where did I go?" It didn't get me far, I'm telling you it was hell. I'd exercize none stop all day, eat rarely if ever. I got into drugs to prolong my ability to do these things. I'd rarely sleep, my skin started discoloring, my hair started falling out, my eyes became yellow and cloudy and half the time I couldn't even really see what I was doing. A good few times I'd stop breathing in midst of whatever I was doing. I was an absolute mess. To this day as I am still struggeling with this there are alot of things I cannot remember, for awhile there I was feeding myself enough to keep my heart beating and that was it. Its funny.. when you think, how much determination did I have to put myself through this? I realized I had a problem, when it got really bad I left here and started going to groups. It didn't last long though, something had me so envolved in this that after the fourth group I could no longer go because I could no longer get out the door. It happened one night, when I was laying down after a long day, after being to the hospital a few weeks ago and getting no help whatsoever that I stopped breathing. Struggling, I managed to maintain myself and figured "bah its just a one time thing" untill I couldn't keep breathing properly. This is when I knew I needed to do something about this. Strange when it takes that much to tell you that you're dying isn't it? This is where I started to change, in honety I had to. If I didn't force myself to get better I would not be here right now. And what use is a perfect body if its dead. The best part is, by loosing 90lbs in a mere six months, I ruined my body anyways. So now, in a much better but still struggling state I have come back with a better goal in mind. 1000 callories is alot better than what I used to do. If I can hit 1500 without panicing than thats fantastic. I do not plan on being as meticules with this as I used to, I might not even log things. I'll check in here and there, and do what I see fit. Good luck to everyone here. |
| Interests | 18: angura kei, art, boxing, cosplaying, eroguro nansensu, health, martial arts, mismatching, music, performance, psychology, random fashion, recovery, roleplaying, science, singing, sports, strange and obscure things |
| Groups | (none listed) |
| Friends | 4: alwayzfreetobeme, lollipopfairy, shiguresflower, stainofmind |
| Friend of | 2: lollipopfairy, slittlepeace |
| Forum Posts | 1 posts (0 per day) All posts by agentcyclosarin |
Misperceived foods appear to be bad, but are actually good for you |
Join Calorie Count - it's easy and free!
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Recent Activity
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anglsmom722 added bigbitty as a friend |
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New journal post Oh my =( by sweet_cheekz 08:45 |
