A-girl

Posts by amethystgirl


User's Posts | User's Topics


Forum Topic Date Replies
Maintaining I'm confused Sep 10 2014
18:40 (UTC)
5

Sure.

Maintaining I'm confused Sep 10 2014
17:13 (UTC)
7

Stop looking at calculators.

You have been told how much you need to eat, stop trying to find something to support you wanting to eat less.

The Lounge Blaming victims - Particularly Domestic Abuse Victims Sep 10 2014
16:38 (UTC)
66
Original Post by catwalker:

Original Post by amethystgirl:

I thought both of those comments (especially the "cameras in elevators") were more "Don't get caught" jokes directed at Rice. Which is wrong and bad, but not victim blaming.

ETA: That's not to say at all that people haven't been victim blaming.

Don't you think joking that Rice shouldn't get caught is back door saying it's OK as long as you don't get caught. I know I'm mincing words.

Yes, it is, but I think that's different than victim blaming.

I think victim blaming is talking about how the victim put (in this case) herself in the position of being abused by staying with him, or that she must have provoked him.

I think saying that the crime is only a problem if you get caught is minimizing the seriousness of the offense. Putting it at the level of stealing cable or stopping at a red light on an empty road and then continuing on without waiting for a green light.

I think both are done in a way to keep the victims from speaking up -- both are a form of gaslighting. But the former is telling them that they deserve the abuse. The latter is saying that abuse isn't a big deal.

The Lounge Blaming victims - Particularly Domestic Abuse Victims Sep 10 2014
16:07 (UTC)
70

I thought both of those comments (especially the "cameras in elevators") were more "Don't get caught" jokes directed at Rice. Which is wrong and bad, but not victim blaming.

ETA: That's not to say at all that people haven't been victim blaming.

The Lounge Ray Rice (Football player who knocked out his wife) Sep 10 2014
15:34 (UTC)
4
Original Post by gotborked:

Yeah, I think the wife's position on the matter after the fact swayed things.  If she didn't stand by her man afterward and if she had pressed charges, the NFL would've done more to get the video, and the punishment would've been more severe.

But she met with the NFL/Goodell before the video came out.  I think the NFL probably wanted to treat it as more of a personal matter at that point, and were trying to walk a fine line between coming down on him and respecting the wishes that the wife conveyed to them. 

Of course she does not want her husband to lose his income over this.  She married him with the expectation that he'd continue to be a highly paid, successful nfl star.  She also seemed to say that she was at least partially responsible for the incident, saying she provoked him.  I guess she spit in his face and was hitting him, and who knows what she had been saying to him.  Obviously her bad behavior doesn't excuse him knocking her out, but it helps explain why she would want the NFL to come down lightly.

Just want to clarify that "provoking" an abuser can mean saying hello with the "wrong" tone of voice, or taking too long to get ready, or any number of non-provocations. It doesn't mean (and I haven't watched the video, so I don't know what is on there) that she did anything physically or verbally that a reasonable person  would consider a provocation.

Abused spouses/partners recant or refuse to press charges all the time, even in situations where they have a lot less to lose than an NFL salary.

Health & Support how to handle husband's weight comment Sep 10 2014
15:28 (UTC)
16

I come from the opposite side (I came to CC to lose weight) and my husband complimented me when I had made progress, even if it was just a few pounds. It didn't mean that he expected me to stop there.

Best of luck gaining!

The Lounge Honey and antibiotics Sep 10 2014
12:29 (UTC)
1
Original Post by watergirl:

Original Post by catwalker:

Macoooo,

Thanks for actually engaging in a conversation. I wish you would do more of this instead of just copy and paste.

Yeah no.

http://www.chevyequinoxforum.com/f18/honey-an tibiotics-1201/

http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/honey-and-ant ibioticshttps-wwwyoutubecom-watc_topic374260_ post11000756.html

If a poster is simply C&Ping the same thing over and over on multiple websites, doesn't that move it into the territory of spam?

The Lounge Cuz the Lounge is boring and needs a good fight Sep 09 2014
18:10 (UTC)
50
Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Plus, I thought Ethiopia was Jewish.

From Wiki: According to the 2007 National Census, Christians make up 62.8% of the country's population (43.5% Ethiopian Orthodox, 19.3% other denominations), Muslims 33.9%, practitioners of traditional faiths 2.6%, and other religions 0.6%

The Lounge Ray Rice (Football player who knocked out his wife) Sep 09 2014
18:08 (UTC)
7
Original Post by amethystgirl:

According to some coworkers, even before this second video came out, the NFL had expressed that they didn't do enough after the first video came out (following, I assume, public outrage at the mildness of the original punishment), and had new rules in place for more appropriate punishment for a situation like what was seen in the first video.

I think they didn't know about the existence of the second video. But I don't know if they purposefully avoided finding out about it.

I'm going to take that back - I wasn't particular knowledgeable about the story in general, except what I'd heard in passing. From what I've read, it seems unlikely that they didn't at least know of the existence, and if they (someone from the NFL) didn't watch it, it was only to keep their heads in the sand.

The Lounge Ray Rice (Football player who knocked out his wife) Sep 09 2014
17:07 (UTC)
15

According to some coworkers, even before this second video came out, the NFL had expressed that they didn't do enough after the first video came out (following, I assume, public outrage at the mildness of the original punishment), and had new rules in place for more appropriate punishment for a situation like what was seen in the first video.

I think they didn't know about the existence of the second video. But I don't know if they purposefully avoided finding out about it.

Weight Loss low carb. ! Sep 09 2014
16:14 (UTC)
4

Even without knowing your age, sex, weight, or height, I can say that 1100 calories a day isn't enough to eat to lose weight.

Weight Loss Lost weight? Which method did you use? Sep 08 2014
17:20 (UTC)
12

Counted calories, kept a reasonable deficit, ate enough, moved more, lifted heavy things, made better food choices but didn't eliminate anything from my diet.

Weight Loss define "cheat day" Sep 08 2014
14:00 (UTC)
5
Original Post by trh:

For most people a cheat day is a day where the break the rules that they have made for themselves. I don't have rules, therefore I don't have cheat days.

Exactly this.

The Lounge New Apartment...Yikes! Sep 05 2014
20:56 (UTC)
16
Original Post by purespark:

I've been told rain on your moving day is good luck.  :)

You got this!

I think it's only on you wedding day. Or maybe that's just ironic.

My tip, given the forecast: Don't drive the uhaul onto muddy ground under a low hanging branch. Uhaul won't send a tow truck, nor will AAA. It's not all bad news, tho. You'll get a guy with a lazy eye to tow it out, and he will charge you way less than the guy who never showed up would have.

Oh, and if you have someone helping you move, he shouldn't lose his drivers license the day before the move.

The Lounge New Apartment...Yikes! Sep 05 2014
19:05 (UTC)
21
Original Post by dnrothx:

Original Post by amethystgirl:

But the keys in the can were more like keys from the 70s that had spent a lot of time in the rain.


Trophies collected from murder victims.

From what we could figure out about the previous owner... quite possibly.

The Lounge New Apartment...Yikes! Sep 05 2014
18:57 (UTC)
24
Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by amethystgirl:

"Oh hi! What am I doing? Well, obviously, I'm trying to figure out if any of these coffee can keys open your house. Now if you aren't going to help, I've still got 40 more to try, so if you could just step aside, put that taser away and... would you like a cupcake or a tartlet? I made them from scratch. Because I knew these keys were going to be a pickle and a half! I'm your new neighbor by the way. I feel so welcome here! Especially with this coffee can of keys the previous owners left for me."
 

I added a little more to this entertaining monologue.

Mine ended because they got tased. But I like yours.

The Lounge New Apartment...Yikes! Sep 05 2014
18:56 (UTC)
25
Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by amethystgirl:

Nomo, you are absolutely right - they should have just started trying the keys on all of the neighborhood doors. What an introduction that would make!

"Oh hi! What am I doing? Well, obviously, I'm trying to figure out if any of these coffee can keys open your house. Now if you aren't going to help, I've still got 40 more to try, so if you could just step aside, put that taser away and... would you like a cupcake or a tartlet? I made them from scratch. Because I knew these keys were going to be a pickle and a half!"

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Just takes a little gumption and some people skills!

(The building where I work has some closets that still have the original glass doorknobs and skeleton key holes, so I don't buy the excuse that the keys, the doors, the knobs or the locks were too old to be opened. That's what's wrong with young people these days.... they're afraid to expend a little effort!)

They do, in fact, have several doors that can only be opened with skeleton keys, and those do work (as long as you aren't worried about the fact that it's an external door that could be opened with a generic skeleton key). But the keys in the can were more like keys from the 70s that had spent a lot of time in the rain.

The Lounge New Apartment...Yikes! Sep 05 2014
18:25 (UTC)
28

Nomo, you are absolutely right - they should have just started trying the keys on all of the neighborhood doors. What an introduction that would make!

"Oh hi! What am I doing? Well, obviously, I'm trying to figure out if any of these coffee can keys open your house. Now if you aren't going to help, I've still got 40 more to try, so if you could just step aside, put that taser away and..."

The Lounge New Apartment...Yikes! Sep 05 2014
17:54 (UTC)
32
Original Post by lostpumpkins:

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

You know, when my husband and I moved into our first apartment we thought we had everything.  We had a little modular sofa set.  We bought a table and chair set at the thrift store.  We had a mattress and two sheet sets.  Hangers, laundry baskets, all of our cooking necessities.  What else could we possibly need?

About a week after we moved in we discovered it through a combination of teenager diets and fear of pooping in a new toilet.  By the time we were both ready to unleash our nasties in our new home, we realized we didn't have a plunger.

Buy a plunger.

It's so funny you say that.  It's one of the first things I bought.  Actually a plunger/brush combo.

Almost everything on the internet that I read about first time apartment-ers, everyone always says, "Buy a plunger!!"

I don't even know why it occurred to me, really.  I can't even remember the last time I needed one.

Our friends bought a foreclosure, and the only thing left in the house was a plunger and a coffee can full of keys (none of which opened any doors).

Motivation So frustrated! What am I doing wrong? Sep 05 2014
16:43 (UTC)
3

Because ice cream is delicious? And it's not necessary to cut any particular food out of your diet to lose weight? And did I mention how delicious it is?

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