Posts by anonymous789


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Forum Topic Date Replies
Health & Support I don't know what to do anymore!?!?!?!, I need this site more than anything right now! *TW* Mar 03 2012
19:23 (UTC)
6

It seems that people gain on low calorie amounts because the body is still trying to recover weight. In order to achieve this when a good supply of calories is not available, it will suppress the metabolism. 1600 calories is not enough at all. If your body wants to gain weight, it will, and for purposes of health and well-being, you should probably gain on a healthier amount of calories. I think the ideal situation would be following your appetite, but unfortunately, appetite for some people is very skewed after a long period of restriction. Eat more. When you start feeling better, you'll realize that weight gain is not that big of a deal, because if you are at a good place mentally and physically, you will prefer being HAPPY to being malnourished, obsessed, and on the edge of relapse. A lifetime of health problems and obsession with weight isn't a happy life. I'm not saying it will be easy to gain past a point you feel comfortable at, but from what I have seen on these forums, those who can accept their body regardless of weight (rather than trying to maintain a specific number on a suppressed amount of calories) are the only ones who have truly recovered. By the way, you're very beautiful, and in my opinion, you will be just as beautiful (or more beautiful) if you gain some weight (plus, you'll probably be happier). Best of luck with everything.

Health & Support Olazapine Mar 03 2012
19:11 (UTC)
6

Do you feel the same way about anti-depressants horizon_? I think SSRI's (or most at least) are much less likely to cause weight gain than anti-psychotics, right?

Health & Support Fake it til I make it? Feb 29 2012
02:04 (UTC)
2

Our situations are different, but I can somewhat relate to how you feel.

First of all, you need a break. This facade of functionality can only last so long before you completely break down, and it is exhausting you mentally and physically. For me, I've always been afraid that people will see how much I am struggling (that I am not naturally tiny, I am not naturally talented, I am not naturally smart, I am not naturally beautiful / worthy / valuable / etc). I felt like an impostor, and that in reality, I was very weak, but I wanted to hide this from people (by the way, I also have mild OCD and a somewhat perfectionist personality). I'm not sure if you feel this way, but if you do, you need to accept that you're not superhuman. I don't know you, but it sounds like you are an immensely intelligent, talented, and strong person. However, everyone has a breaking point, and restriction will not solve anything (in fact, it will only make it worse). I do have many body and weight insecurities, but I also restricted/restrict for reasons not related to body image. 

For now, do everything you can to stop restricting. Therapy can be very helpful, and I think you should consider trying an anti-depressant for the short-term until you sort things out (it can help with the anxiety and OCD, even if you feel you aren't depressed). Also, perhaps you could consider taking some time off school to settle everything: mentally, physically, etc. I highly suggest this if it is possible. You CAN be happy, but it will take time to overcome these difficulties, and right now as you know, you are NOT doing well. You need to seek help... let your friends/family/coach/etc know your situation. You are not weak, you are human.

Best of luck with everything. I hope you can resolve these issues and find happiness.

Health & Support My mom thinks I'm chubby now.. :( *rant* and might be triggering Feb 23 2012
02:14 (UTC)
5

Congratulations!!!

Health & Support Eating disorder recovery... Calories and Conflicting Advice! Feb 23 2012
02:12 (UTC)
1

I'm guessing most people here will tell you to eat 2500 or 3000 minimum. If you're hungry, definitely respond to your appetite. If that scares you, stick to a plan, but make sure you're getting at a minimum of around 2000-2500 for now. You actually sound pretty active, and you definitely will eventually maintain on 2000+.

Your nutritionist might just be trying to ease you to a higher intake, or maybe she's not experienced with eating disorders.

This might be overwhelming, but I really suggest you just dive right in (considering you're not at risk for refeeding syndrome). I would do anything to go back and just EAT, rather than wasting almost two years of life and slowly deteriorating my mental and physical health due to ED. Get rid of this thing as quick as possible, because you'll never be able to live life with an eating disorder consuming you. Otherwise, it will follow you a lifetime.

Health & Support In need of help! Feb 08 2012
15:35 (UTC)
1

You said that you regained about 35 pounds right? And originally you had lost about 35 through restrictive eating? Perhaps you don't have a binge eating disorder but your body is just trying to regain lost weight, unless you are drastically higher than your original body weight before the ED? Also if you ended up a little higher than you were at 13 that might be normal (weight gain between age 13-16 is normal). I guess the worst thing you could do at this point would be try to restrict/purge in response to binges, which would only prolong and exacerbate the problem. Perhaps you should just try to eat a well-balanced and sufficient amount... attempting to lose weight now would probably be a very bad idea.

Enjoy your teen years, and use this time to love and accept your body. You will be thankful you did so later in life (trust me).

Health & Support What now? Feb 08 2012
14:53 (UTC)
1

Right now I'm actually 5'3'' and about 113 or a bit more. Sorry, I really should edit the post to be more concise... it's quite a bit of a rant.

Health & Support Anorexia to Binge Eating Feb 08 2012
02:31 (UTC)
8

How many calories are you getting a day normally, and what's your activity like? Maybe you aren't eating enough during the week. Otherwise, does something trigger the binges? Are you depriving yourself of these sweets normally? How is your weight being affected?

Health & Support ED battler - what's the biggest lie your ED ever told you? Apr 27 2011
01:01 (UTC)
19

After the first 5-10 pounds, I had no desire to lose more weight. But I was so afraid of regaining the weight that I kept restricting more and more (and thus continued to lose). I convinced myself that the way I was eating was "normal" and enough for my body. Eventually, I started to fear foods and cut entire food groups. I tried to eat as little as I could. I was so hungry, but I told myself that everyone was that hungry but had more self-restraint. I would see people my age eating more than me, and I would think "well, they are probably in the process of gaining weight, and they just don't realize it." No one commented on my weight loss, so I told myself I actually hadn't lost any weight at all. The scale wasn't working, or it was just water weight. I started to despise food, even though it was all I could think about and all I wanted. I'd rather torture myself with constant hunger and obsession than risk gaining weight (even though I never wanted to be thin). I told myself I was a weak person, and everyone else was stronger than me. I told myself I didn't deserve to eat. I knew my thoughts were irrational, and I wanted it to stop... but I couldn't. I tried multiple times to just EAT, but the fear and anxiety stopped me. The more I restricted, the more irrational my thoughts became. Losing weight increased the desire for thinness, and it made me truly despise my body.

Health & Support I hate my masculine, shapeless body Apr 27 2011
00:45 (UTC)
12

You're hot.

Seriously, you have a killer body. Very fit and definitely feminine. You might not be an hourglass, but you do have curves.

Just yeah... you're hot.

Maintaining Eating got out of control yesterday... always wanting food... HELP!!! Apr 26 2011
04:13 (UTC)
3

Marylee, that comment is really inappropriate for someone who is in / was in ED recovery.

Anyways, you definitely need more than 1900 calories!! I'm not sure of your age (teen or 20s?). The constant hunger / urge to binge / food obsession is going to be heightened because your body is not getting enough. You feel constantly hungry because your body may actually be constantly wanting more. Some days your body may only need 1900, but generally, I really doubt that is enough. Up your calories, and that urge will die down considerably. 2300 calories is not a binge (and may very well be your real maintenance). 

I suggest listening to your hunger for awhile. Stop counting calories and just eat when you're hungry. At first, you'll probably feel ravenous (like you could eat all day) because you have been depriving your body and ignoring its signals (I know this from experience). That appetite will reside after awhile if you continuously listen to your body. Maybe calorie counting works for you, but why not try this for awhile? (but don't pay attention to the scale because of fluctuations in water weight). Just an idea.

Health & Support Period vs Weight Apr 26 2011
03:46 (UTC)
15

I'm guessing this will be deleted by a moderator... or at least should be.

Health & Support HELP PLEASE! Still no period and I'm starting to worry...! Apr 25 2011
18:55 (UTC)
10

The comments posted here weren't intend to attack you. Stress and other factors can change your menstrual cycle. Not having your period for this long, however, is not normal. It's very important to see a doctor (he can give you much better advice than me).

I know from my experience that any fixation on weight or calories (and obviously any restriction) can make me very depressed. When that is lifted from my life, I am SO MUCH happier. Best of luck with everything, and I hope things start to look up.

Fitness Knee pain Apr 24 2011
02:01 (UTC)
2

Actually, neither... I was using dumbbells at my sides. I don't have access to a barbell (or smith machine).

Health & Support HELP PLEASE! Still no period and I'm starting to worry...! Apr 24 2011
01:56 (UTC)
21

http://www.health-calc.com/diet/energy-expend iture-advanced

Put all your activity and stats into this to give you an idea of what REAL maintenance of you is like. Of course, person to person differs, but it's much more realistic than calorie count totals on this site.

-Edit-

By the way, you should almost definitely be eating OVER maintenance right now.

Health & Support HELP PLEASE! Still no period and I'm starting to worry...! Apr 24 2011
01:55 (UTC)
22

Are you certain you're eating at maintenance now? If you don't have your period, why do you have "deficit days" at all? You are still restricting. Considering you are a teen and doing that much physical activity, your maintenance calories are almost certainly 2500+. You might need to gain a few more pounds or quite simply give yourself "true" maintenance calories (yes, you have gained weight back, but that was in a transition from starvation). 

What was your weight before you started restricting initially? You probably need to gain to at least that if you want your period back.

Seems pretty logical that you need to eat more / up your calories.

Fitness Knee pain Apr 23 2011
03:56 (UTC)
4

Hey, so I rested my legs about 6 days and after my next workout I had pain again (despite using lower weight and not doing too many sets). Now, I think the aching was not completely gone before the workout though. I wouldn't say the pain/aching is worse now, but it's certainly far from gone.

I've reassessed my squat, and I know for sure that my knees don't go anywhere near past my toe. However, I realize that they do come slightly in and that I need to think of pushing my knees out. I also have not been using my glutes and hamstrings nearly enough, so almost all strength is coming from my quads (and definitely too much pressure on my knees). I don't want to stop squatting, but I think I will probably squat without weight until I definitely have good form. I'm just worried that this pain won't go away, since it seems like I really irritated my patella =/. I had been using the leg press for quite a few months before this, but I didn't have any noticeable pain. 

The strange thing is that during the workout I don't have any pain at all. It doesn't hurt to squat at all. I just have a slight clicking in one knee when I squat below a certain point (but it's not painful at all). In general, there is a grinding noise when I flex the knee joint, and I don't think that was always there (or at least as obvious).

I guess my main question is, if I don't have pain while doing the exercise, can I do any further damage / permanent damage by continuing to exercise? Can I expect the irritation to go away while continuing to do so (considering I correct my form)? I don't do any running... just lower impact machines (cycling, elliptical, etc)

Fitness Knee pain Apr 17 2011
18:41 (UTC)
6

I'm not sure age is a factor... I'm only 20 haha. I also always warm-up before workouts. I'll look into the fish-oil though and definitely going to rest. Thanks :)

Fitness Knee pain Apr 17 2011
04:20 (UTC)
9

Thanks for the speedy replies! It seems like from your responses I haven't done any serious damage. By the way, before starting weighted squats, I did the leg press for awhile. I also recently incorporated deadlifts. Otherwise, for legs, I do hamstring curls and quad lifts (machines). I've always found lunges to be very awkward for me, and my form is always off, so I tend to avoid them. By the way, I use dumbbells for my squats (I don't have access to a barbell).

I think I will take a rest from leg work for a bit... I don't want to further aggravate the problem and need to take an even longer break from training. I'll definitely reassess my form and routine though. The problem is that I get really into my workouts and am a bit too eager to increase weight or do extra sets. I usually end up at the gym longer than I expected (to a point that it might be counterproductive)

 

Fitness Knee pain Apr 17 2011
04:00 (UTC)
13

So, should I just continue my workouts? Or should I wait for there to be no pain first in normal activity (stairs, general aches) before I resume any squatting or high-impact exercise?

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