Posts by appletwo

I had a hard time on my own over the 3-day weekend, so it was a relief to be back at partial with more structured meals yesterday.

B: Oatmeal w/ raisins & cinnamon; veggie sausages; almonds; soymilk

L: Chicken & avocado sandwich; grapes; sun chips

S: Ben & Jerrry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk ice cream, one cracker [i was at partial, gotta get the calories right! :) ]

D: (in cooking group - everything turned out really really well) Moroccan chicken & orzo; zucchini sauteed in olive oil; coconut cupcake (yum - will be having these as snacks later in the week)

S: (at home) - peanut lara bar crumbled over greek yogurt

I can't even express what a freaking RELIEF it was to be back on track with food, Monday was so so messed up (calories were okay but my meal times were just so off). It's going to be so hard to leave partial & all that structure.

Breakfast today include homemade muesli - oats, coconut, and dried blueberries. It was SO SO amazingly good. New favorite breakfast!

If anyone cares to copy - 1/2c 4-grain oats; 15g coconut (3T according to the package, they must mean tightly packed - it's just easier to weigh it), 2T dried blueberries.  Soak in 1/2c milk-of-choice for about 10 min, then stir in 1/2c yogurt-of-choice.   Calories for the muesli (without the milk/yogurt) are around 310.

hi agru - my meals were off yesterday because i was out at lunchtime, so i had a snack around 11 instead, then lunch at 2, and it just threw my whole day off. today is off too because i woke up at 3am and couldn't fall back asleep, so had a snack before breakfast, then early breakfast, then another snack before lunch, then an early lunch. . . maybe i'll end up sleeping through a snack later or something. i'm sure it'll even out.

easy proteins that are not dairy or eggs: baked tofu (buy or make your own), edamame (buy frozen, put in a little bag at the beginning of the day, self-refrigerating!), beef jerky/ turkey jerky. do you find protein shakes constipating? they're easy. hmmm. i don't know what qualifies as easy for you - lunch meat roll-ups? usually you'd do cheese inside, but since you're trying to minimize it, use a pickle or something instead.

chrissy - as for how recovered i am .  . . maybe 30%? behaviorally, i'm doing very well, but i have a lot of urges and i do a lot of ED behaviors. not big ones like restricting or purging, but little ones that keep me stuck in the ED like visiting grocery stores too often, hoarding food, etc. (please no one just tell me to stop, believe me i'm working on those with my therapist. not visiting the grocery store "too often" isn't as cut-and-dried as i'd like it to be - after all, i have to buy the food i need)

i don't think i'd like to set a timeframe for myself in terms of where i'd like to be in a month or two. i mean, ideally? 100% of course, but obviously that's not realistic. but setting that kind of goal is just likely to trigger my perfectionistic tendencies. instead of an "i should be at X" goal i'd rather say, "i'm going to keep working hard." and i'm going to.

i'll know i'm recovered when i don't hear the ED voice in my head alllll the damn time, and if/when i occasionally do, i can just dismiss it. right now i act against what the ED voice says - ED tells me not to eat; i eat anyway; but i hear it loud and clear.

The inpatient program I was in started me on 1200 calories, went to 1500 the next day, then increased by 300 every 3-4 days until I started gaining at least 1lb per week. (I stayed at 2400 for a week, then lost 2lbs - hypermetabolism - then went up to 2700, then 3000 to gain).

However, there is a risk of refeeding syndrome with everyone - it's always a good idea to see a doctor and ask them how to begin or if you need any tests done.

Okay, no prob on the milk - definitely don't force yourself to drink it! 

Usually, water is the best thing to drink - but, because you're gaining, it's good to drink beverages with calories at least some of time.  How about gatorade or juice sometimes in the mornings, too?

Milk is good because it has protein and fat, not just sugar.   You could have a smoothie, protein shake, or something like that instead, or maybe try soymilk - I don't like milk straight-up (though i like it in coffee), but I like soymilk plain. You could also try chocolate soymilk. 

It's also fine to just stick to water, that just means you need to eat more. If you can handle eating more & more often, great - if you find that you aren't gaining at the rate you'd like to, think about adding in caloric beverages.

agru - you absolutely SHOULD NOT be exercising every day! you do need a couple days off, physically. and i totally agree that it's mentally a good thing, too.

it's also pretty eating disordered to adjust your intake depending on exercise, so i think you should eat the same on exercise and non-exercise days. plus, exercise builds muscle and speeds up your metabolism - so people who exercise (even if it's just 3-4 days a week) need more food, even on off days, than people who don't exercise.

actually, now that i think about it - that's a major flaw of just calculating the calories burned during exercise. exercise isn't just about what you burn during it.  exercise (the kind that builds muscle, especially) raises your metabolism for several hours afterwards. having more muscle on your body raises your metabolism 24/7, including when you're sleeping.  you can't just look at how many calories you burn WHILE you are exercising.

please take this next bit in the gentle way it's intended - i think you're being very obsessive about exercise. i think worrying and obsessing about exercise might even be replacing worrying and obsessing about food. please, please be careful.

regarding calories - check out this calorie calculator, I think it's suggestions for me, my mom (who counts sometimes) and in general seem reasonable.  I put in your stats as age 26, 5'3", and BMI 20, and it suggested 2027 calories per day if you're lightly active (less than 1hr active per day) - with your current exercise schedule, I'd pick that category. It suggests 1828 if you're sedentary (rarely active) - so I really do think 1700 is too low for you even if you never exercise at all.

Original Post by lobojen:

Maybe try eating more protein and less carbs.

I completely DISAGREE with this advice. To gain, you need plenty of both! you also need plenty of fat. Definitely do not restrict carbs - but, it would be a good idea to add more protein & fat to your meals.

How about:

1. 7:00 AM - Ate breakfast, scrambled eggs with tomato's and green peppers Add some carbohydrates - toast or a bagel or something - plus a glass of whole milk or hot chocolate or juice or something.  Eggs are a great choice for breakfast - even better if you cook them in butter or olive oil for the extra fat.

After that, go to class for a couple of hours

2. 10:00 AM -  Ate a plain bagel on the way to work Put peanut butter or cream cheese on the bagel, or eat some nuts in addition to the bagel.

Show up to work, where I stand the whole time

3. 1:00 PM - Ate 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches That's a good, balanced meal.  how about adding a big glass of whole milk or juice?

4. 3:00 PM - Ate 3 slices of Pizza That's fine.

5. 7:00 PM - Ate a salad and a calzone That's okay, make sure to use full-fat dressing on the salad. You could add some meat to the meal - a chicken breast or thigh or something. Again, it would be good to drink whole milk or juice with your meal.

Add an evening snack too - pretty much anything you want. a pb&j sandwich, bagel with cream cheese or peanut butter, leftovers - it doesn't really matter what you eat - you just need to eat, consistently - 3 meals & 3 snacks, every day.

ttluvj - carbohydrates in general, esp white ones, and esp sugar are my main fear foods too.  eating sugary cereals/muffins/cookies is realllly hard for me too, a big challenge. i can do it at my day program, but i'm not quite up to it on my own most of the time. 

with anxiety, i think the thing to do is just to tolerate it. i try to tell myself that it's just anxiety - it sucks, but it's not going to kill me - the anxiety itself isn't going to hurt me, it's just going to make me uncomfortable. and tolerating anxiety short-term (like after eating a challenge food) will lessen it long-term (because the foods DO become easier to eat, and then i have less anxiety around food overall).  distractions definitely help too - talk to a friend about something unrelated, do a puzzle, watch a movie, go for a slow, gentle walk (not exercise). just remind yourself that the anxiety is temporary & for the greater good.

i've never really had a problem with eating slowly - i was a little too slow at the worst part of my ED, and then it was sort of bad when i was first recovering and very overwhelmed by how much i had to eat, but it just normalized as i got used to eating again. i also had a time limit - 30 minutes for meals, 15 for snacks (this is when I was inpatient). at first i used every single second of it, but i finished  because i would have been replaced with ensure, otherwise. you could try setting a time limit for yourself - it will be hard at first, but it will get easier.

abbi the day program is going really well, i only have two weeks left -  change is scary but i think i'll be ready. i'm doing part-time both weeks, too - just three days each week. i am feeling pretty strong & solid these days, but it's been a bit harder recently with the transition coming up. my body checking urges are way more present though i've been working on not giving in. the urges to give in to ED behaviors (restrict, binge) are stronger too though i've been okay so far.  i think it's most fear of transition mixed with fear of getting better.  but i am coping. and i have a really good outpatient team - everything is in place - so that's good.

agru when i do weights, it's 20-40 min, depending on how i'm feeling, how much time i have, etc. i do full body stuff so i can target all my muscles in 20 minutes if i want, plus that gets my heartrate up and the full body exercises are great for you - they work lots of muscle groups plus your core, rather than just one muscle. i do things like push-ups (or girl pushups), squats/ plie squats, lunges, overhead press (that one requires weights), tricep dips (using a chair), pilates-style ab exercises, etc.

I definitely definitely think some people maintain on 2000 without any exercise!! One of my friends in program doesn't do any formal exercise, she walks some but less than I do, and she was losing weight on 2000 so now they have her eating 2300 to see if she'll maintain on that.  Of course, it just depends on your metabolism, your height and weight, your body type, how much you fidget/chase kids around/bop up and down during the day.

chrissy i'm glad you're not decreasing more & you're waiting to let your body settle, i think that's a really healthy attitude. i know i'd prefer my calories at at least 2000, it's just a more normal amt of food. i bet your body will still maintain on that - bodies like to maintain, and there's a range of calories we can maintain at. i know i've maintained my current weight when i was eating 2000ish, when i was binging & purging every day, when i was restricting heavily, and now i'm maintaining it on much higher calories. this is a pretty natural weight for my body and it just likes to be here, i guess. hopefully your body will just want to stay where you are with or without the amt of exercise you were doing :)

agru - going back a page or so, i didn't recommend the geneen roth book because you might be an emotional eater - i recommended it bc you said you had trouble getting in touch w/ hunger & cravings - there's a lot in her books specifically about how to get in touch with your hunger and and cravings (for some people, that's a way to get away from emotional eating, for you it would be a way to get away from mechanical eating and toward intuitive eating). also i'm really glad to hear you're going to aim for more like 2000, i think that's a more appropriate calorie level :)

my 2c on exercise: not needed for weight maintenance, but good for general health - ideally, at least 30 minutes 3x a week, a mix of something that gets your heartrate up and including something weight-bearing (for our bones!). a MAXIMUM of an hour 5x a week if it's straight exercise-for-the-sake-of-exercise.  if people are doing a sport/dance/etc that's a real passion, it can be more, but then they really need to be careful that a) it's a passion, not an excuse for too much exercise and b) they eat to fuel it.

and exercise should NEVER EVER EVER  be something loathsome or horrible. if it's that awful, find something else to do. like, i tend to hate running, it reminds me of my ED and my body just isn't built for it. so, even though running is an efficient way to get cardio in, i don't run. I also am not a big fan of the gym for right now because  i find it triggering. so, right now, i do weights at home (even though it's easier to do weights at the gym) a couple days a week (ideally 3, but realistically more like 2), plus i walk a LOT just for transportation, and that's about it. i'd like to take a pilates or yoga class once or twice a week, and i'll eventually add that.

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i'm still eating about the same, and still at about the same weight - 2600 seems to be roughly my maintenance for now. i'm moving right now, and wednesday i had to run around SO much between taking care of errands and moving boxes. so, i realized yesterday evening that i spent a total of about 1.5hrs walking (hilly), and 1.5hrs moving boxes - that's a lot of calories burned. perhaps days like that explain the high calories, for now. yesterday was more normal though - probably 30-40 minutes of walking (half hilly), and 30 minutes of moving boxes (okay, that part isn't normal).

yesterday's food:

bfast: plain yogurt w/ granola; almonds; banana; soymilk

lunch: small tortilla w/ peanut butter & banana & cinnamon; whole wheat toast w/ avocado; carrot & celery sticks; giant bowl of cottage cheese

snack: ben & jerry's oatmeal cookie chunk ice cream (big challenge, but i ate it at my partial program)

dinner: whole wheat pita filled with chicken, feta, lettuce, and balsamic dressing (which was actually a salad from trader joe's - easy dinner!), pomegranate greek yogurt, coffee w/ whole milk

snack: coconut lara bar, greek yogurt

agru, regarding hunger & cravings, i highly highly recommend geneen roth's books. they're aimed at overeaters trying to get in touch with hunger & cravings, but i think you'll really be able to relate.  go to a library or bookstore and sit down and read a bit, check them out. they're worth buying, i think, but look at least. All of her books are good but I'd look at Breaking Free From Emotional Eating to start.

re exercise/ activity - for me, i get a lot of activity in my daily live just because i live somewhere that i walk a lot. so i walk probably 30-60 minutes, depending on the day, and that's 90% of my exercise. i also live on a hill, so that gets my heart rate up. that's my cardio - i hate doing cardio at the gym,, i don't like running. i'll go on a walk or a hike whenever i can, with a friend, but that's it.

i also like weights, so i try to do weights about 3x a week. i don't like the gym at my school so i have a couple weights at home & use those. but, this week i'm moving, so a) there's no space to do any sort of weights b) there's no time and c) i'm lifting heavy boxes anyway. so i'm not doing weights until i'm finished moving. i think that's a healthy attitude - if someone FREAKS OUT about taking a week or two off, that's a sign that they don't have a healthy attitude towards exercise. A week or two shouldn't be a big deal. And no one should be doing something they HATE, though exercise is sometimes something you make yourself do then end up liking once you're halfway through.

I agree that you're not getting enough fat, and that you're probably going to get quite bored if you stick to this rigidly.

I would suggest a mealplan with exchanges, rather than specific foods (i.e. 1 fruit, then you pick the fruit).  You could also sub chicken or fish for the tuna; 2 slices of bread = 1c oatmeal = ~160 calories worth of any grain. And definitely, definitely eat fat at every meal. If you ate 200 calories worth of fat at every meal, you'd still be eating under 30% fat, which is I think the RDA - most weight gainers actually eat more than that. 

3500 calories sounds perfect though, given your current intake and exercise :)