Posts by avatallulah

I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK, I'M GOING OUT OF MY MIND!! I'm also having second thoughts about where I want to apply to college, and yeah, I'm basically going insane! 

helenax- turkish delight hot chocolate? WOW. That sounds AMAZING. I'm super jealous. Where did you get that from?

lowri93- Someone kindly PMed me and let me know that Coco Pops are the same as Cocoa Krispies, WHO KNEW?! I've lived in America for 6 years but I'm such a Brit at heart, it's not surprise I don't know these things! We do have stores that sell British stuff but it's so expensive! It's mostly chocolate and sweets and chips and stuff though. They just started selling Crunchy Nut Cornflakes in America though which is AMAZING, since my family is obsessed. My Grandma comes over a lot and brings the stuff that we need and can't get here (like jammy dodgers, Terry's chocolate orange, Celebration chocolates and etc...yummmm<3)

baybeehannahx- raspberry brioche, yum! I had a massive tuna steak for dinner too :)!

mandieeee- how come you only had half a pancake for brunch?! cinnamon sugar kettle corn sounds delish! 

muchlinski- dark chocolate covered crystalized ginger sounds so good! 

kaylatron- sweet cinnamon Wheat Thins? Yum! I've got to get myself some of those! I stocked up on Luna Bars today, I was running low recently, and it was sad :(

dutchamericangirl- I love Thai chicken salad. I love anything Thai-tasting actually. I spent 3 weeks there this summer but it was at the worst of my ED. It's actually when my mum found out that I had an eating disorder. I went away without my parents on a photography expedition and basically just didn't eat. By the time I met up with my mum on the third week in Bangkok, I'd lost 7 lbs. I wish I had eaten more and tried more of the authentic food while I was there. I want to go back so badly! 

breakfast- the usual cereal (HUGE bowl of kashi 7 whole grain honey puffs, kashi golean original cereal, crunchy nut cornflakes with freeze dry strawberries and almond milk)

lunch- asparagus soup with huge bread crouton things

snack- 100g mango and 1 cup greek yogurt mixed with my apple crumble and 1.5 tbsp honey!

dinner- a huge tuna steak cooked in sesame oil, mirin, rice vinegar, soy sauce, and Chinese 5 spice, 1/4 cup (dry) of couscous, carrots cooked with sugar, 2.5 tbsp sweet chili sauce for dipping! <3

snack- 100g mango, apple cinnamon oatmeal (omfg, so good.... <3)

snack- 2 ricecakes with pb & j

I'm having major binging urges right now. I don't know why, :/

brunch: 1 cup kashi 7 whole grain honey puffs, 1/2 cup kashi golean original cereal, 1/2 cup crunchy nut, 1/2 cup almond milk and freeze dry strawberries (300)

snack: 1-inch slice of banana bread with 1 tbsp pb (300)

snack: 20-25 baby carrots (lol yeah, a lot) with 2 tbsp hummus (150)

snack: this apple-oat-raisin-sugar-butter thing I made...soo goood, I ate A LOT of it (250)

dinner: 1.5 servings of Annie's Organic Shells & White Cheddar and a side salad with tomatoes, red bell pepper, cucumber, fat free feta and balsamic vinegar with lots of pepper and salt :) (550)

snack: caramel tootsie pop (60)

snack: TBD ;) (200-300?)

total: 1,810-1,910

possibly more if I binge :((

lowri93- I haven't had coco pops because I now live in America (used to live in England) and I actually haven't see them since. Maybe they're called something else here or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough haha. 

breakfast- 1 cup special k berries, 1 cup cheerios multigrain and 1/2 cup of omega-3 granola, with WHOLE FAT milk. 

snack- tootsie roll

lunch- stir fry fried tempeh and broccoli, stir fry vegetables in a brown sauce with 1/2 cup rice. raw veggies (mushrooms, tomatoes, cucumber) dipped in honey dijon/hummus/red pepper hummus

snack- hugeeeeee piece of banana bread with 1 tbsp nutella! and 5 pieces of mango

dinner- chipotle salad (pinto beans, guacamole, corn, salsa, peppers and dressing)

snack- still to be decided :p

partyring- a tootsie pop is a lollipop with this chew candy (tootsie roll) in the middle. It's good and high in cals for a lollipop (60). Yesterday I had the apple for breakfast to kind of balance out all of the candy and sweets I was eating haha!! Butterfingers are chocolate with wafer in the middle! so yummy. We don't really have full fat stuff in my house-- we can't. My dad is extremely over weight and has a food addiction so stuff like peanut butter is kept hidden in my room, hence why I used to have such bad binging. I've never heard that fat free feta makes you fat though? Idk, I like it. Yeah my boyfriend was definitely kidding don't worry, he has a hard time understanding anorexia and how it's a mental thing STILL, and he has a lot of problems of his own, but he is very supportive and understanding. My friend is just a straight up **** though, and your's sounds pretty bitchy too! She like prides herself on being thinner than me (she's one of those naturally thin people that LITERALLY just hit puberty at age 17... she looks like she is 12 and her whole family are like mini sized, haha) and it's so f****** upsetting! 

jlib94- you're SERIOUSLY triggering and I hate to put blame on other people but seeing this post is what stopped me from getting my usual yogurt at lunch today. All of a sudden after seeing this I felt fat for eating more than one thing for lunch like you did. PLEASE do not post on here again unless you reach 1500 calories. It is SO triggering to see meal plans like this. 

lowri93- I used to love Cocopops!<3 Yum, yum, yum! 

jsw83- aw I understand. I used to live in England and was so surprised when I came to America and it was SUCH A BIG DEAL HERE. Oh and the thing with my friend is she is not actually anorexic. She's (as I explained in my response to partyring) one of those people that just hit puberty late and still looks about 12, plus her family are all miniature. She doesn't have an ED and I know that for a fact, she's just super competitive and she WANTS me to know she's thinner than me now. She's such a ****. Writing this is actually making me think WTF am I friends with her for? Today for example I was telling my "friend" about how I was reading Plato's The Republic for this early decision thing I am doing at my first choice college, and how it was funny because I like worked out that he was talking about building a city/republic without actually ever paying attention to the title, and then later on whilst going to math class I was talking about the reading in general to another girl in my grade who is doing the same early decision thing that I am and we're talking about this one really complicating part in The Republic and then my "friend" who was next tome goes, "Ava, are you sure you even understand what it's about? Since you forgot to even read the title, as you told me, maybe you aren't smart enough to go to college". I've actually just HAD it with her. I can't talk to her about it because she's such a dramatic ****. She's so selfish and just generally awful. I cannot continue to hang out with her. 

I was talking to a girl in my grade who is doing the same Early Decision program at a certain college about the reading we had to do for it, a

So I think I slipped a little today. Tried to make up with it with my afternoon snack though.

breakfast: 1 cup kashi 7 whole grain honey puffs, 1/2 cup kashi golean original cereal, handful of crunchy nut, freeze dry strawberries and almond milk (250)

snack: a few tootsie rolls (80)

lunch: a ham, lettuce and mustard sandwich (250) [my first proper homemade sandwich in LITERALLY a year], 1/2 cup cauliflower cheese, 1/2 cup curried cauliflower with chickpeas (180). this kettle corn/raisin/ chocolate chip/ candied nut/ other yummy stuffs (120)

snack: banana light n fit yogurt, handful crunchy nut (150)

snack: 1/2 cup caramel Starbucks ice cream thing (270)

dinner: 20 baby carrots with hummus, a bit of red pepper and cucumber (90). chicken and vegetable soup with 3 multigrain suzie's thincakes (330)

snack: banana bread (250)

total: 1970... I should be doing better. Uh. I'm thinking I'll need an emergency night snack? Hmm.. what to have, what to have?

I love this thread, I know there is occasional "drama" on here but all you guys, regardless or whether I've talked to you or not, keep me motivated to do well. When I lose motivation I often push myself with the knowledge that if I don't eat enough I can't post on this thread!! 

kaylatron personally I don't find exercise triggering, I'm just jealous that you all find the TIME to work out. I can only work out like once every two weeks haha.

zebulancherry where is all the candy you got?! why are you not eating it?! I was a zombie too last night, and people took pictures of me too haha :p 

bellace come on girl! pick up those calories! Okay I totally should not be one to talk as I am quite akin to under eating, but all this "weight gain" is in our heads. 2000 calories IS NOT going to make a 16 year old girl put on weight, plain and simple. I know I don't believe that half the time, but it is true! Proud of you for the reeses minis though!! AND THE CAKE!

So lately I have just NOT been counting. Partially because I have been eating weird things that I have no idea what their nutritional values are, partially because I'm SO busy and partially because I'm pretty much maintaining now which is cool. My body seems really happy at this weight and I have been somewhat intuitively eating (I usually make rough meal plans the night before). 

pre-b: organic apple tart lollipop, mini 3 musketeers, tootsie roll

b: big gala apple, 1 oz. Halloween pretzels and a few packets of smarties

l: 10 carrots and some dipped in 2 tbsp egg salad, 1/2 cup couscous with sundried tomatoes and herbs and spinach, 1 cup yummy oily brussels sprouts [<3]. Lowfat vanilla yogurt with chex cereal, raisins, cornflakes and a little bit of raisin bran! Super yummy.

s: mini snickers and a raspberry tootsie pop

d: (@ Bonnaroo/Life is Good/Group M party I photographed tonight :P) 1 bbq chicken slider, this pork thing on a potato chip lol, 1 mini grilled cheese, 2 mini caramel covered donuts [!!]

s: 10 candy corns [!!] 

REAL DINNER: I don't know yet... Maybe soup? Maybe a big salad? Maybe cereal? I dunno!!

@themanicdoll welcome! Asian veggie patty sounds very yummy! 

UM HELLO PEOPLE, WHERE IS THE HALLOWEEN CANDY?!!!!

I know, I know the majority of us struggle with EDs but I'm disappointed that no one else took on the challenge of Halloween candy today! I feel almost bad that I ate so much now :( I was looking forward to seeing it all over everyone's eats! 

I dressed up as a zombie today and my boyfriend was Rick Grimes (anyone watch The Walking Dead?). We went trick or treating with my friends from school even though we're all almost 18 lol. It was fun but I ate SO much candy and I still am right now ;) Oh and I had ice cream. F*** ED, F*** ED!!!!!!

B: Special K with 2% milk (200)

L: couscous with sundried tomato and other yummy stuff, 1 cup brussels sprouts cooked with lots and lots of EVOO, vanilla low fat yogurt with chex cereal, cornflakes and raisins. (400)

S: gala apple, caramel corn rice cake, 5 mini marshmallows, 5 cashews (200)

HALLOWEEN CANDY: Um I don't ever really remember but like 10 tootsie rolls (assorted flavors), 2 butterfingers, 3 milkways, 3 snickers, 3 mini kitkats, and A LOT MORE that I don't even remember. soooo gooooood probably about 500-600 calories total. 

D: salad with olives, cucumber, red pepper, mushrooms, fat free feta and balsamic vinaigrette and cucumber and carrots dipper in lots of hummus! (330)

S: another 5 tootsie rolls, one mini white chocolate kitkats, 3 mini snickers, 1/2 cup of milk and cookies ice cream and more that I don't even remember (500 or so)

total: 2,230! 

I hope I don't regret this tomorrow. I wish some of you had eaten Halloween candy too! I feel crazy for eating so much. 

Ok. I have calmed down now. I decided to go ahead and I am going to have the Indian dinner with my family that was planned and then meet my boyfriend later at the party. I'm still really nervous about everything and I can tell he is totally fed up with me :/. He's acting a little more understanding now but it's so stupid of me that I completely understand why he wouldn't understand my freak out.

Anyways, what you all really care about haha, today's eats:

brunch- 1 cup 7 kashi whole grain honey puffs, 1/2 cup kashi golean original cereal, 1/3 cup crunchy nut cornlakes, 1/2 cup almond milk and a few crumbled freeze dry strawberry slices (my favorite meal EVER haha) 320

snack (@3)- banana with 1 tbsp pb, big homemade oatmeal raisin cookie 370

snack (@6)- 2 medium size gala apple. 20 raspberries, 5 large strawberries, 1/8 cup of crunchy nut cornflakes topped with 6 oz lowfat vanilla yogurt 350

dinner- tandoori vegetables, a little bit of chicken tikka and mushroom panneer, and 1/2 a naan ~400

drinks- 2 beers 200

total: 1,640

I'll probably have a 200-300 cal night time snack later bringing the grand total to 1,840 or 1,940. I might even try to snack at the party!!! 

muchlinksi woo! so proud of you! :) 

Today was interesting. We celebrated Halloween at my school and so I was confronted with a lot of sweet foods. Similarly I went out for a late dinner with my boyfriend and some of his friends and we went to a DINER. In both situations I feel that I did really well. I stopped counting because I just DID NOT KNOW the calorie count of like half the stuff I ate today but I'm pretty positive I went over 2000. It's scary not to count but it feels so good when I don't... Usually I freak out but today I really do feel fine and proud of myself :)

breakfast- 2 caramel corn rice cakes, 6 oz strawberry banana light n fit yogurt

snack- 1/2 flourless chocolate cookie

lunch- 

• 5 baby carrots, 1/4 cup tuna salad, about 1 tbsp of egg salad, a few slices of cucumber.
• 1/2 cup low fat yogurt with 1/2 cup chex and ~1/8 cup raisins.
• 15 pieces of candy corn

snack- big red delicious apple, 2 multigrain Suzie's thin cakes spread with 1/2 tbsp pb and 1/2 tbsp jam, 5 cashews, a handful of crunchy nut and 5 mini marshmallows. 

dinner- (@ Big Daddy's Diner) egg white omelette with caramalized onion, mushrooms and spinach (it was huge and definitely cooked in loads of butter), half a strawberry, 2 big spoonfuls of mac and cheese, 1/2 cookie dough milkshake (it was a huge milkshake too- split it with my boyfriend, he was so proud of me! :p) and two slices of celery and one small carrot slice with ranch. THIS WAS SO SCARY-- ESPECIALLY THE MILKSHAKE. It was so good though. I have killer tummy aches right now though. I really shouldn't have dairy haha. 

snack- 15 carrots, cucumber slices, 1 tbsp hummus

Alright muchlinski I reacher 2000

I'm so tired lately, *yawn*. I must go to sleep earlier tonight.

breakfast: original special k with 2% milk (200)

snack: white macadamia nut luna bar (190)

lunch: [ok lunch was so random today.. I had loads of unorganized little things, so here goes]

• 10 carrots with 1/4 cup cucumber and 2 tbsp hummus (110)
• 1/4 cup sesame noodles (80)
• 1 dumpling (40)
• a few spoonfuls of sticky rice (80)
• plain low fat yogurt with homemade oats and honey granola (200)

snack: huge red delicious apple and 1/2 cup kashi original cereal, 1/2 cup crunchy nut cornflakes and 1/3 cup original almond milk (290)

dinner: chili [!!!!!!!!!!] and 1 cup brown rice (550)

snack: oatmeal raisin cookie and a small banana (280)

total: 2,020

Wow so many new people! Hi!

Everyone on here makes me miss weetabix, I don't think you can get it in America if I am correct.. 

dutchamericangirl- Bean based veggie burgers are the best! I just love veggie burgers in general really though, haha. I haven't been to either, but if you're into vegan/vegetarian/health restaurants go to the Organic Grill in the East Village and Candle Cafe on the upper east side. Both are outrageously good. Do you live on the upper west side? Also, your food looks SO good ALWAYS. I'm so jealous haha. Lebanese tofu sounds outrageous, I want to try it! Did you make it yourself? Asian Quorn chicken stir-fry sounds absolutely kickass too. 

breakfast: Special K with 2% milk (200)

lunch: (lunch was really weird today)

• a 'smores brownie (marshmallow top, brownie center, graham cracker bottom)
• a sugar cookie with whipped vanilla icing and halloween sprinkles (I made these using the Mrs. Fields recipe!) 
• 10 carrots 
• 1/4 cup cooked pilau rice. 

I had this over the space of about 2 hours but it was still a weird lunch (550)

snack: Kashi Caramel Chocolate Popcorn bar thingy (I don't remember the actual name for it... I love them though!) (150)

dinner: a huge bowl chicken and vegetable soup (200) with 4 thincakes (60) and a side of spinach, corn, mushrooms, carrots cooked in butter (100)

snack: banana and 2 tbsp peanut butter (300)

total: 1,560

I could have eaten so much more but I was out for my afternoon snack and had to grab whatever I could at a ghetto deli lol. There is also a chance the brownie had a lot more calories as it was absolutely massive. 

Oh and I found out today that my french class is going on a trip to Niece and we're also going to be going to Monaco and Italy in February! I can't waittt!!!