A little about me...

My name is Beth, I live in Altus, Oklahoma and am 40 years old. I'm divorced, have a 15 year old son and a 6 year old pug named Buttercup. (Not the name I chose for her...she's adopted...but oh so adorable!)

All my life I have yo-yo'd up and down with my weight. I was a chubby kid, plump in high school, got thin in college because I was too poor to eat, and what money I did have was spent on beer. *lol* Once I left school, I worked, got married, got pregnant, dealt with postpartum Depression and the weight just piled on.

In 2001 I had breast reduction surgery because I was having back, neck and shoulder pain. After healing I managed to lose some weight because I was able to finally move! In 2003 my ex-husband and I separated and what I had managed to lose, came back with a vengeance. Argh! It's a horrible cycle to be in.

I guess the main reason I've finally "hit the wall" and have decided to take my life back is because I'm 40 now and I'm just sick and tired of feeling "blah" all of the time. I want to be around for my son and I want more than anything to regain the confidence I've lost as I've put on weight.

I've always been a social person, and I have amazing friends and family. I have a fantastic job. My son and I have a wonderful relationship. I have a beautiful home. And after my divorce, I have bounced back like a woman in charge of her life.

But, it feels like I've lost something along the way and I know it's because I have hit an all time high and am ashamed of myself. I want the fun, goofy, confident "in control of her life" person on the inside to match the outside.

I had been tossing around the idea of LapBand surgery...but, I really don't want to have surgery to tackle this weight problem. I feel like I want and need to do this on my own. I've managed to deal with everything else life has thrown at me...I can handle this!

But...I need help. That's why I'm here. :-)