Posts by chickey_soup

Original Post by rosencrantz12:

I'm old, way past the need to breastfeed, and I'd want reconstructive surgery if I were to have a mastectomy. I don't love them, but I'd hate to do without.

i'd have it too.  i think it would be disconcerting to have had them so long and then just not.

i do love them for their storage abilities when i don't have pockets and need to stick something somewhere.

from coach k on a zombie i got stuck on -

"by the by -- when users are using the mobile apps, apparently the thread dates (or at least start date) aren't visible -- that's why so many zombies.  People search for something (usually on google), find it and don't know it's a dead thread and so they reply..."

i too think there some merit to purging (or really archiving - searchable but not postable) though i understand from others there's old threads that do have merit of sticking around and being commented on.

i rarely search because i usually end up with crap anyway. but then again i feel weird complaining to stridently about a free site.

Original Post by amethystgirl:

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

four years ago, before i got my (preventive) hysterectomy, i got a lot of support from the community here. nobody referred to what i was doing as "mutilation" (and believe me, that's an apt description of a 6" incision with 25 staples) and nobody suggested that it was motivated by anything other than the pursuit of health. when i ended up in hospital for six days instead of three, and couldn't get to the site to update all of you, people were concerned (yeah, tom, i remember that. thank you).

if i were a new member considering a preventive mastectomy right now, i doubt i'd be looking for support here. i'd probably be feeling pretty **** about the whole thing. i might even consider risking cancer rather than risking the kind of harsh judgments that have been expressed here.

sorry, but i don't think it's okay to denigrate somebody for making a difficult health decision.

And in fact, that I think (besides getting ahead of the celebrity gossip whirlwind) was Angelina's point in writing her OpEd - to make people understand the reasons that go into making such a difficult decision.

I'm baffled that someone would in one breath blame Angelina for trampling on the feeling of women who have already made the same choice as Angelina, and then in the second breath refer to it as mutilation.

i kept trying to type something along those lines several times but couldn't get it to come out right.

i think you are wise to recognize this.

it would be a good think to follow up on that and see your doctor.

are you actually suggesting that someone would make this decision for money?

especially someone who is in absolutely no need of money?

generally treating cancer is more lucrative then preventive measures.

edited - this test also isn't' even recommended unless you have strong family history - there's no suggestion that the general public go rushing out to get the test.

Original Post by spirit_seeker:

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

her mom died at 56, her grandmother in her 40s both of breast cancer. she found out she had a gene mutation that meant her risk was potentially 90%. so she had them both taken off and had reconstructive surgery. the process took nine months. and now she's gone public about it.

i've admired her for years; this just multiplies that. i think that this is incredibly brave.

eta: here's the op-ed piece she wrote for the times

Just stumbling onto this and all I can say is.. thank god no one told her she was at risk for brain cancer. She could be walking around headless right now. Sorry but self mutilation is not a cure especially for something you don't have. This woman is not to be admired. This was stupid.

actually no she couldn't because removing ones head isn't considered and appropriate or valid treatment option.

i'm sorry but all i can think of is this

i don't believe you get paid to write an op-ed.

Original Post by amethystgirl:

I wonder, tho, chickey, would you have chosen this family arrangement from the outset (I don't know - maybe you did)?

Not saying that it would be wrong to choose it. Men and women have chosen to be single (sole) parents through sperm donors/surrogates or adoption, and I'm not questioning their decision to do so.

I guess my main thought is that I wouldn't want to choose the setup described in the OP's article. And I hope that anyone who does choose it does it with a lot of consideration (which, frankly, should be given to any decision to have children by any method, regardless of the number of parents).

... and given that last parenthetical, maybe it's that it's just such a foreign idea to me, and I haven't seen it work, it just seems too difficult to imagine. Maybe in a few decades, it will be common enough to not raise anyone eyebrows.

i guess in a sense i did choose it. i knew from the second i decided to keep her, if not exactly what i was walking into, what wasn't happening.

i think maybe it doesn't phase me so much because being mostly the sole care giver, i'm more then a little wistful for every other weekend breaks or even more. i guess just based on my experience i can see the merit choosing to have someone else to share the load so to speak. and i see it as equal, though perhaps different, to other parenting forms.

i doubt it will ever be common though. i do think it takes a certain type of person to even desire to parent this way.

Original Post by anewdawn:

Original Post by chickey_soup:

Original Post by amethystgirl:

Interesting - so even though it went against your biology or mommy instinct - you released the control and everything turned out fine.  I like that actually! 

I find I have to or I drive myself nuts. I always have tried to make sure that any decisions I make or not are based on what is best for the child and not a reflection of my own wants and needs.  It's served kiddo well i think.

But on the grander scale I think in general people adapt to what circumstances are. I mean you have a choice - fight something you can't change or have no control over or just go with it. You can usually tell the people who fight - they're pretty miserable.