| Forum | Topic | Date | Replies |
| Weight Loss | Quitting Smoking & Weight Gain | Oct 14 2011 20:14 (UTC) |
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Thanks so much for the responses. they mean alot to me. what I'm hearing is that it's hard to maintain after quitting smoking but not impossible. Not that it would have mattered, but it does give me more hope. |
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| Weight Loss | Starting Over Again! Share Your Story | Dec 29 2009 22:27 (UTC) |
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Hmmm. So glad to see this post! It gives me hope and tells me that I'm not alone. I've been trying to lose for 3 years. Lost ten lbs but then fell off the wagon x 3 or 4. I feel defeated. I know it can be done. The question is can I do it. I feel like I've read every book published and honestly I can't just theorize about getting into shape anymore. Very dissapointed in myself. Very. But here goes again. 3 cheers. Hip Hip Hooray........Good luck to everyone! Christine 180lbs 5'7 |
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| Weight Loss | Must I eat back my exercise calories? | May 18 2009 22:09 (UTC) |
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I just want to point out that you can have a deficit over 1000 cals. That's not the issue. However, the body has a hard time burning more FAT in a day than 1000 cals worth. So at that point your also going to be burning some lean muscle which may hurt you in the long run. For really large people 400lbs plus they do go into huge deficits for short periods and under medical supervision. |
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| Weight Loss | Must I eat back my exercise calories? | May 18 2009 22:06 (UTC) |
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Hi there. This is an issue that has been hotly debated on this site. I would suggest you search those terms and you'll find long forums on this. Personally, at your stats I think it is unhealthy but I don't know if your weight training, or running etc. Weights requires nutrition in order to build muscle. I also don't know what percentage of body fat you are etc. If your body fat is low....well this is a problem. Either way good luck. |
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| Weight Loss | Looking for your successes!!! Pics would be great!! | Sep 05 2007 22:01 (UTC) |
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| wow.....you guys are absolutely incredible... I mean it. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me. It keeps me going.....Know what I mean? | |||
| Fitness | Fatigue | Sep 05 2007 16:20 (UTC) |
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| Hi there. I know that chronic fatigue is hard to get rid of once it sets in. Also, I agree with the fat intake thing. My understanding is that fat is actually required by your body to bread down fat your trying to lose. Also, apparently the body doesn't like to lose weight when it's stressed out. How has your weight loss been? | |||
| The Lounge | Size question | Sep 05 2007 02:55 (UTC) |
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| Well, where I am your size is pretty universal, save for a few lines of clothes that are made big or small. So if your dress is 12, so are your pants, capris, shorts, etc, etc. Tops same, although some are s, m , L, xL, and so on. | |||
| The Lounge | How would the average woman Or man respond? end the debate. | Sep 03 2007 16:55 (UTC) |
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for the record. I believe she knew that after the intitial push, as I headed to my car that she absolutely would have been arrested, particularly given her previous convictions for assault. However, she managed to catch up to me at the car. So there I sat with one leg out, my keys not in the ignition, and her holding onto my car door screaming at me.
The thing is I thought about just slamming the car door knowing it would have hit her fingers but knew that I wouldn't have had time to get away before she had time to re-open the car door and then for sure I would have been caught sitting down with a looney pounding on me. I stood back up as she used the term 'retard' again only in order to block her visual from my child. I asked her at least 3 times to leave, in fact every time she said something I would say 'fine - then leave us alone" or 'okay but you need to let go of my door'. the thing is I believe that she knew she was going to be arrested so she had nothing to lose by standing there and venting her rage. When she hit me again that was it. She was now going to be physically removed from the vicinity of my car and child. That's what I did - I believe I posted this above so I won't repeat this here. I was acquitted. It was found as a fact that she wanted a fight, she started a fight, I fought back. In fact, I think she's lucky I didn't lay a beating on her. LOL. But in saying that I have never had a fight, and I was in a dress and high heels to top it all off. My only urge to be 100% honest was, when I had her pinned on the ground, I wanted to grab her right by the back of the hair and stick her face in the dirt and say "now there that's what happens when you go around picking on littel kids'. But I didn't. How I managed to resist that urge is amazing. It had everything to do with my upbringing, which emphasizes that it is never acceptable to kick a person when their down - theoretically I mean. By sticking her face in the dirt it would have meant I took advantage of my superior position. I agree with all the posts here, - call 911, get documentation etc etc. The thing is it didn't go down in that way. She wanted a fight and wasn't about to let me or my child go withour one it's that simple. Did I mention above that when she punched me in the face at the car she broke my tooth? Well she did. I wasn't about to allow my child to see a fight or his mom get her face kicked in four feet from him. Everyone is absolutely right, I should not have confronted her. That was a huge mistake and one that I am accountable for. But I also believe given what I saw on that day, that fight was inevitable, it would have been then, or later and who knows maybe she would have just hit my child. That was the original offence that I reported and she was angry about. I don't believe that in these situations you can always protect yourself. If someone is intent on harassing you or your family you are left in the hands of the laws and the discretion of a particular officer reponding. In this situation they sloughed it off. In fact I have been tempted to write the chief of police, and the crowns office to point out that it was their inaction that put me and family at risk, and yet they KNEW she had previous convictions. Why was I left to deal with her on my own? So they slough it off, then when she attacks me, and remember her original anger was over reporting the assault of a child by her, and I defend myself I get charged for excesive force. They should have hauled the lazy officer in that didn't bother to look up or warn me of her record when I called. Remeber, he told me to call back when her threat was specific. Her punishment at the end of this is being her. I wish she had more but I think it's enough that she has to live as her - frankly I can't imagine. If ever she is to grow, or heal she has no choice but to acknowledge what she did to my child and my family. That's the way life is, you can't choose to just ignore your own faults and grow simultaneously. I on the other hand am well on my way to recovery, thanks in part to the people here, and have a wonderful husband friends and family. |
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| The Lounge | Do people discriminate against heavy people? | Sep 02 2007 16:25 (UTC) |
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| I agree that variation in humans is necessary and natural. All of the 'ideals' are merely socially constructed and vary with the historical period. It is healthy for any society to have an 'ideal' for people to mirror, and to represent the epitome of human development. I just don't believe that presently the ideal, as least the one that tends to be represented in mass media is healthy at all. In fact, I find it shallow, narcissistic, voyeuristic, and a complete rejection of a humanity based on emotional values and tempered by inclusion. But hey, that' s just me. | |||
| The Lounge | Do people discriminate against heavy people? | Sep 02 2007 05:04 (UTC) |
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I could quote studies but I won't. People discriminate period. Although I believe this lies along a continuum. There is this 'norm' a way that people based on their gender are supposed to look.
Men can't be short, or too thin or too feminine looking. Women should be small, large breasted and not masculine looking. People discriminate against unattractive people, blind people, old people, people of race, big people, small people, people of varying ability levels. etc, etc. ie, the ideal is white, able bodied, youthful, attractive, and of course money and status gets mixed in there. This is so, so sad, and the amusing thing is that the ideal is representative of a fraction of the population. The 'abnormal' is normal. (not that I agree with the term normal - just used to describe an idea) |
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| The Lounge | Something weird, dont know what to make of it....Please read | Sep 02 2007 04:56 (UTC) |
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I would just casually find the opportunity to ask the mother. Maybe say something like - "my daughter said you were burning newspapers in the house the other day - I told her she was crazy"
as long as it's casual...you'll know right away by her reaction. In the North people burn sweet grass as a cleansing ritual it smells like pot but not quite. I dis-agree that 'private' moments are not done in a living room. Busy moms sometimes need to find any space. Either way, I think subtly enquiring is the way I would go. If she's a responsible mom with nothing to hide, she won't think twice about you asking a tactfully worded question regarding her amusing habit in front of your daughter. If she's a drug user you'll know it in a heartbeat. Good luck |
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| The Lounge | How would the average woman Or man respond? end the debate. | Sep 02 2007 01:03 (UTC) |
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I have to say that I completely agree with pandajenn. confronting her was not the way to go. for that I am accountable. that being said I dont' believe that this gave the woman the right to hit me, or call my child names. not that anyone is saying that here, i think most would agree. the bottom line is you never know when people are going to go off, and i should have really seen that one coming. it really is a catch 22, because the police wouldn't respond till the threat was imminent but people don't necessarily move in gradations. I also believe that it wouldn't have mattered she would have gotten physical with either me or my children in the near future. in fact in many ways i am grateful that her rage came through in that moment and not when my child was alone and defenceless somewhere.
anywhoo, I thank everyone for their response. |
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| The Lounge | How would the average woman Or man respond? end the debate. | Aug 30 2007 19:34 (UTC) |
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I was in a great deal of shock and I would've absolutely called the police and they would have absolutely charged her at that point. I believe their previous apathy is more that police agencies tend to view disputes as petty and not arising to anything, well in this case had they bothered to look up her record (2 previous assaults, theft, resraining orders - and those are only the things she was charged and convicted of) they probably would have responded differently to my first phone call. As it happens they didn't have a chance to respond to the bike incident because these things take time in between before they attend the home. I was shocked, stunned and momentarily frozen when she pointed to my child and called him that. In fact, I will never know truly what I would've done because she followed that verbal attack with the push. That stunned me even further because I'm just not accustomed to people actually hitting people. anywhoo, what brought me out of the shock was her taking another step towards me after I stumbled back. By then I could feel this hot liquid literally moving from my groin up into my stomach - well when she stepped towards me I stood up straight and said in that voice that is not a shout, not a whisper but even keeled and dripping with the conviction of outrage "if you hit me again I swear to *****god i will hit you back". I then pointed to my child and told her I better not ever see her around him again. See here's the thing - in retrospect she knew she was going to be arrested that day after the push. she was no stranger to the system. I believe that's WHY she followed me back to the car, it was a mixture of dys-function, anger, desperation, and also her detecting 'retreat' by my trying to leave. Of note is the fact that when I looked her in the eye and told her if she hit me again I would hit her back I could see the flash of fear. In that moment she knew (and given my shock and anger I wouldn't have gambled it) that I probably would have knocked her out. She also knew I was dead pan serious about calling the police. However, I believe that because she is so twisted, to her mind my retreat to the car was some sign of weakness, she knew I didn't want a fight particularly in front of my child, she knew my biggest fear was her verbally attacking him, not to mention that she had never seen me react in any other way than what you would expect from a well rounded professional. Well after she hit me at the car she was done. I had a choice, I could stay pinned behind my car door (her body weight was against it) and have my child watch his mother get beaten up or I could give her the shock of her life. I chose the latter. I too have been trained in self defense and I need to tell you ladies when I stepped out from behind that car door her eyes went HUGE. She simply didn't expect it. This is a common mistake made by people who are criminals - they think us academic, non drug users are just too frail to defend ourselves. I pinned her up against a brick wall twelve feet from where we were. I had her in a choke hold with my right leg between her legs while she frailed and screamed like a nutcase. I held her there for about 10 -15 seconds then let her go. She came at me again punching me (she broke my tooth) and was holding my by my sweater. (I should mention that I was in a dress and high heeled boots when this happened) I had no choice but to return the blows - and force her backwards. As I was grabbing her arms she was trying to grab mine and we both fell to the ground where I quicklly scrambled and held her there till it became apparent she was going to stop. I was arrested as a result - assault causing bodily harm. When we fell she broke her bone in her leg and apparently this was a really big deal. I was aqcuitted of course, on the basis that I was unlawfully assaulted, and in any event the judge held that she was looking for a fight, she started a fight, she got her fight (see in Canada the law is different - check out Macleans where a man was arrested for punching an intruder in his home in the face) - but not before I had to get a lawyer etc, etc, to defend my actions!. My anger towards the justice system has subsided but it's still there. Where were they when I called? and I did have to move while waiting for this to go trial. It took a long time to resolve this. My biggest issue with this is the fact that she got to walk around and call herself a 'victim'. It was a joke, I mean really, people actually felt sorry for her because she told people she was just attacked walking up the street. I was mortified that perfect strangers would actually think I was capable of harming someone like that. Although, I must say when it went to court not one person in her family or a friend showed up for her so I don't think anyone who knew her beleived her. I can tell you for sure no one who knew both of us believed a goddamn word she said other neighbours cooked for me and brought gifts. She came across so badly in court that the women who worked there called me and told me they felt sorry for me, and that if it was them they woul've kicked her ass. sometimes I still feel like I should have given her a beating especially if the state is going to haul me into court. anywhoo, I know this is a long story but it still bothers me to this day on many levels - my reaction - I have never felt such anger before - I still feel deeply ashamed, embarrassed, degraded that I even was involved in anything so ugly. Then at times I get an overwhelming urge to hunt her down - not that I would of course. The whole thing is like a bad joke. Anyway, I just haven't healed from this and I don't know why!! |
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| The Lounge | How would the average woman Or man respond? end the debate. | Aug 30 2007 18:44 (UTC) |
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| Well calling 911 isn't an option when your in the circumstance there is no phone. The police were called over the phone calls but said there is nothing you can do because it has to be a 'specific' threat. The eg. given to me was call us if she says she is going to kill you tonight at 6p.m. with an axe. | |||
| Weight Loss | Getting Thru the Hard Parts of Dieting | Aug 29 2007 04:58 (UTC) |
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| Trish - you should do a similar one on plateauing. That's where I'm at after 4 bloody weeks. | |||
| Weight Loss | How long until YOU saw results? | Aug 28 2007 04:41 (UTC) |
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Well I am 5'7 (closer to 5'8) with long legs and a big gut. I lost eight lbs so far and I can see it around my gut a little but it is most noticeable when I try on my shirts. My muffin top has definately gone down.
I noticed it first at about 5lbs. At that point I had been working out with weights for about 10 days maybe 14, and taking in about 1200-1400 cals per day. the bottom line is I think everyone is different. I see no or at least very, very, little, in my leg areas. Like I said for now it's just my muffin top. It depends on your height, weight, and how you cary it. Hope this helps. |
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| Weight Loss | so tired....I need to be motivated! | Aug 27 2007 01:03 (UTC) |
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my god. you have .4 lbs to go. If you put in a good workout tonight, sweat it, not only will you be proud, not only will you teach your kids to fight through, tommorow morning you could quite conceivably be 20lbs lower at your weigh in!! Seriously, watch your food today and burn off some cals. You go girl!!!
20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! 20 pounds lighter!! Whooohoooo!!! |
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| Weight Loss | I can't see it (weight loss)much. | Aug 26 2007 22:12 (UTC) |
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mrs J. you didn't mention your height?
At 20lbs I would expect you see something! How have you lost the weight? What is your cal intake vs your need? |
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| Fitness | Why can't this extra fat be used to build my muscles? | Aug 26 2007 22:10 (UTC) |
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| I'm with Tim on this one. | |||
| Weight Loss | Getting Paranoid about 'eat back' calories. | Aug 26 2007 21:51 (UTC) |
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I am assuming this thread was pulled forth because another poster was interested. Since the original question was posed I have done lots of research and have grown substanially in my thinking. I believe that 'eat back' is a good thing although I'm not convinced it has to be calorie for calorie. while shiptona has stated ( and I respect her beliefs) that eat back is specfic to this site, I beleive it is such common knowledge that it is 'built in' to other sites. In other words I know of no site conversely, that does not take into account your activity level when determining calries needed. Also, the difference between pow's and us is the goal. If you have seen pictures ( and I have extensivley in my upper year law courses) they have no muscle left at all. Thus, if you want to eat 500-600 cals a day go ahead, of course you will continue to lose weight becasue the body will cannibalize itself in order to survive. If however, your goal is to lose fat, well the body cannot eat more than two lbs of fat per week (generally the only exception I have heard is when people are very obese) another indication of the truth of the starvation mde pehenomean is the mere fact, and everyone knows it that people close to their goal cannot just simply slash calories to 700 a day, and lose the last ten. I also believe that the 1000 cal deficit comes into play here, because as people are smaller, and their calorie need diminish, the smaller your deficit gets - as a result of this the slower the weight loss. Again these people do not jsut drastically cut. Now these are only generalities, because people who are very obese can and have had greater deficits. One of the reasons is that doctors feel that they can afford to lose some lean muscle this is particularly true if they are bringing in protein and doing strenthg training to maintain the muscle (ie doctors will allow that person to go on a medically supervised starvation diet). For most of those I believe these rules do apply. Also, I beleive that you cannot be so correct as to say 1200 for one and not maybe 1150 for another or 1300 for another to trigger a slowing of the metab that ultimately will result in muscle loss, and fat gain in the long run.. Because humans are not neurons and there are differences in genetics. I for one do not mess with the 1200 rule. Why? Because I have seen more women try it, and fail getting larger and larger, than I have ever seen succeed. It's just like the link between smoking and cancer. Everyone has someone they know or they've heard of beat the odds. The exception to the rule, does not mean the rule does not generally apply. For me it's just not worth losing an extra 200 cals x 7 days to take the chance that I am not the exception. That's about 1.5 lbs a month I guess but still, I won't take the chance. I wonder for Shiptona because she has not yo-yo dieted in the past if this made a difference and because she seems to have had good muscle tone. Although, Tamara on the other hand (correct me Tamara if I'm wrong) had dieted in the past, and the eat back rule doesn't seem to apply to her. OTOH, tamara did start with a high body weight, and the reaserch I have done indicates that the body will release excess fat on low cals when the weight is high. I lost all my weight from my first pregnancy and must say this is the largest I have ever been. When I lost the 50 lbs I put on I did so by having about a 1000 cal deficit. When I was younger I never gained weight because I portion controlled excercsed and RARELY ate any form of junk. So for me I can relate to both scenarios. I must say though, that the starvation mode 'theory' is exactly how I put on the final and last ten lbs that led me here. Finally, I have also heard of a slowing of the metab at 20%. So for me that would be over 300 cals. |
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