I live in the old family place. A 120+ year old farmhouse on about 2.75 acres of land. I am slowly building a market garden area to not only provide fresh veggies for us, but to have extra to sell. I see this as a great opportunity as increased oil prices make trucked in produce ever more expensive.

Unfortunately, my wife Lori is very ill. She suffers from migraines and seizures. I have had her to the best headache clinics in the country. I have tracked down every hint of any type of treatment that may help. And I have pretty much financially ruined us trying to find something that will help her. All to no avail. And, to tell the truth, I have pretty much given up any hope of her getting better. It’s all very sad, but what am I to do??

As for myself, I have under went great changes in the past 18 months. Not only have I lost some 300 pounds (incredible ain’t it) but I am also having to find my way in life. Something I never really figured I would have to do since I never thought I’d live this long. Trying to decide what is best for Lori. Trying to decide what road I should travel. Stuff I just didn’t worry about when I weighed in at 650 pounds.

And how did I manage to make the turn around this late in life?? That is on hel of a good question. And I’m not so sure I have an answer. Maybe that I simply got tired of being a spectacle, or maybe I was tired of living that way. But back in January 2007 I decided that one of two things were going to happen. I resolved that by 09/09/09 either the fat would be gone, or I would be gone!! A pretty rough way of expressing how I felt, but it was true. Either the weight would come off, or I’d be taking that final dirt nap. Hard to find better motivation than that!!

So since then it has all been quit the journey. I have lost a ton of weight, my son has moved to Florida, and Lori is still as reclusive as ever. And I must say the whole thing has been one huge emotional roller coaster. Getting happy with my success, just to have it all smashed by not having a clue how to help Lori.

And that pretty much sums up my life right now. Losing weight is great, but now I need to discover how normal folk live, and try to live as normally as possible. Much easier said than done. I need to find a way to make a living, and I need to decide what to do about Lori. But most of all, I need to find out what will make me happy in life. Of course, Lori having a sudden recovery would be great, but I don’t see that in the cards anytime soon.

So what will make a 46 year old, formally dead guy happy?? Well I don’t have the first clue yet!! But maybe I’ll find out as I keep rolling along. I do think that