EnchantingImage5'2, 105lbs

Posts by enchantingimage


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Forum Topic Date Replies
The Lounge Self Ear Piercing Apr 15 2010
16:36 (UTC)
3

Youtube a good tutorial of how to do it yourself and you should be good to go. :)

The Lounge What is on your mind? Apr 15 2010
16:27 (UTC)
7

I think I'm going to have another sandwich!

The Lounge lady gaga - love her or hate her? Feb 01 2010
07:36 (UTC)
48

 I <3 Techno.

Lady Gaga makes some fantastic dance music in my opinion. I enjoy dancing certain styles of songs out. :)

The Lounge Love advice for a former fattette. Jan 31 2010
19:59 (UTC)
56
Original Post by fitzgeraldine:

I adore him, and his son, but I am not interested having the responsibilities that comes with being involved in a child's life.

  I suggest that you help speed up the processs of moving on with your life. Don't stress it. This doesn't have to be made into something dramatic by any means. It's life. It's healthy to end this in order to move on in pursuit of finding someone else better suited for you,imho. :)

You aren't interested in the responsibilities that come with this package deal anyway. I think you'd both be doing yourselves a favor by moving on.

The Lounge When do people stop having sex? Jan 22 2010
04:02 (UTC)
15

Everyone has a different set of circumstances regarding their health,life, and sex drive. I don't think there is an age that people stop having sex though. I'd be more inclined to ask: " At what age does sex stop getting better?! " Lol

There are simply circumstances between couples that dictate the course of their sex life,imho. The lack sex and/or interest in sex can be a result of flawed relationship and/or life style choice. A lot of people have health issues they aren't aware of that contribute. Plus: People take more meds as they age so the lack of sex/desire is sometimes a result of medications. On a side note: Some people's sex lives are dictated by preconceived notions of the way it ' should  be ' or ' is for other people ' in my view. Some people actually believe/claim that a couple stops having sex once married/or upon entering a long-term relationship. And/or after having babies. Or: During or after menopause. Etc etc.

It's possible that people convince themselves that they should naturally be experiencing a lull and create one subconsciously for that reason. I intend to continue to have good/active sex for the rest of my life. - crosses fingers- I wouldn't say that is the most important thing in life, but its a big + for me.

My performance level may naturally drop a bit with old age. However: So long as I have a pulse I'm going to get my fair share of sexual healing.

The Lounge Lingerie for a Christmas present? Dec 18 2009
15:29 (UTC)
12

Hm. I wouldn't mind being given lingerie as a gift infront of others.

I'd just blush before trying it on for them all. ;)  j/k

My family wouldn't be shocked and/or surprised by the gesture from my lover.

 OP: Just tell your SO that you want the gift given to you in private. Or: That you want something else because you aren't into that. Explain to him that you feel it's something more for him than you. Personally:...I don't share your concern over the issue at all. I've always considered lingerie something more for me than my lover.  ;) I actually enjoy it a great deal ... though. Therefore: I see no problem with receiving lingerie.  I <3 it!

The Lounge What would you say if... Dec 12 2009
19:09 (UTC)
3

Truth. I wouldn't dare lie to one of my dear friends. :)

The Lounge Christmas Present for Boyfriend's Family? Dec 12 2009
18:54 (UTC)
1
Original Post by fillenouvelle:

Original Post by tciherr:

How about a large basket of homemade goodies?  Muffins, cookies, fresh fruit, nuts, etc.  Super cheap but labor intensive.

I'm worried they might think I was being cheap if I do that!  It would cost me a lot to buy all the ingredients (and the bakeware, since I have none), so it wouldn't actually be cheap.  I might do that though, since I love to bake!

 Phft. They might think you were sent from heaven. :) Do it!

The Lounge Christmas Present for Boyfriend's Family? Dec 12 2009
18:36 (UTC)
2

Food! I agree. Baked treats usually go over well with any family.  I'd suggest using pretty holiday tins and/or a basket with holiday treats inside that you made. Or: Bought. ;)  A cake, cobbler,or pie would also be great! imo.

My brothers ex-wife made a two layered pineapple upside down cake with whipped cream as the frosting and then sprinkled coconut ontop of it. We still don't understand why he ever divorced her. <3

It's fantastic when someone new to the family shares/brings their families best recipes with them to ours,imho. That's within your budget and would suit the occasion perfectly. imho. 

( There were these cute/tasty looking Christmas Almond cookies that were shown on the Rachael Ray show recently. It looked relately simple yet very festive and yummy. Just a suggestion:   http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/ro bin-mcgraws-almond-cookies/ )

 Best of luck!:)  By the way it's considered a plus that you love to bake this time of year.

The Lounge I think I've been dumped........ Dec 09 2009
19:46 (UTC)
4

Good riddance.

The Lounge Buying a Treadmill Dec 09 2009
19:13 (UTC)
2

That's fantastic! It's a double yay. :)

The Lounge If I have to sound out your posts... Dec 09 2009
19:07 (UTC)
1
Original Post by cptbunny:

Original Post by watergirl:

omg u r sooooo skinny ag u must rly rly like cabbages like u wanna marry 1 n name it sully and flog it i mean jeeeshhhhh go 4 it. ffffttt. *w*

lmao

omgz! Fo' Seriously.

The Lounge If I have to sound out your posts... Dec 09 2009
19:06 (UTC)
2
Original Post by eedwards1:

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by alibsam:

Simply playing devil's advocate... You're whole thread is a complaint so I find it ironic. Anyway, I don't really care what some random h.s. student thinks about me. I've got more important things to worry about. 

 "Your"

:P

 

Awesome!

 -snickers-

The Lounge You're pretty so it's okay to be stupid according to guys? what the ... Dec 09 2009
18:56 (UTC)
28
Original Post by schnooder:

Original Post by dnrothx:

Original Post by starrynighteyes92:

haha yeah I was thinking that

but she's like married. and has a child so it's really just like what in the world??? lol.

Um...now who's sounding ditzy?

I hope you tell people that the green discoloration of your face is not jaundice.

agreed.

This thread gets the Schnooder's Suck Approval Award, why? Because it sucks. With a capital SUCK

^5 That's hilarious.

OP: I suggest that you consider changing your crew of friends to some that share your disdain.

The Lounge I Caught My Stepson Having Sex. Oct 10 2009
02:14 (UTC)
3
Original Post by mypuppymylife:

enchantingimage-Oh My God! My situation is much like your Mom's was. That is exactly what is going on! And yes, I met him when he was 14 and it seems he's getting progressively worse.

 

Sometimes things get worse before they get better.  As long as your husband doesn't refuse to seriously tackle the issue... there is light at the end of the tunnel,imho. If you tackle the issues/problems together, you can resolve or deal with it. It would be helpful to discuss the house rules/expectations again. The best thing you can possibly do is talk to your husband about being an authority figure. It's important that you're given respect from them. I'd suggest that you turn your focus from your stepson to your husband, and don't be afraid to confront the issue.

I wouldn't compromise being shown respect by either. Explain that you feel he's disrespecting you by allowing it from his son. It isn't your place to demand respect from his son. It will just lead to unnecessary drama between you. You should command respect because it's given to you by his father. It's like a right of passage given to a step-mom/step-dad. :) Believe me: It's a much easier transition for everyone involved that way! At some point you may adore your stepson again with required* help/support from his father.

The Lounge I Caught My Stepson Having Sex. Oct 08 2009
20:26 (UTC)
24

My 2cents:

 The stepparent's place isn't always actively initiating direct discipline. Although it may be the biological parent who delivers the initial consequences for misbehavior... It's important that the stepparent be active in support of that decision. Extreme care should be taken that proper respect and acknowledgment of the stepparent is given. A stepmother is not simply one's husband's wife. She is in fact an adult and an authority figure in the home. That doesn't mean that her say goes against the biological parent.

Every situation/family is different due to circumstances. That's fact. However: It is my general understanding/belief that unless.... Unless you as a step-mom/dad are added to the family when the children are/were very young... It will most likely be difficult for you to discipline your spouses children. Trying to discipline your non-biological children is like skating on thin ice. It's easy to create resentment on the part of your spouse. The fact that he's pulling the " I'm the Dad " card matters. He's entitled to pull that card rightfully,imo. The OP should respect that card. However: You shouldn't allow yourself to be disrespected. Talk to your hubby because he's disrespecting you by allowing it.  He should stand up for you in that regard. Or: You will never be respected by his son.

 While I don't believe it's likely a workable situation for a stepparent to be a direct disciplinarian. I do believe it's extremely important that the stepparent be an active supporter of the biological parent's disciplinary efforts. Both biological parents and stepparents should discuss the rules of the house. That way they have already established what standards of which the children will be held accountable. That's when they negotiate an agreement for the ' said standards.' Anytime: The " I'm the Dad " card is pulled... That means you're opening yourself up to be resented by the biological parent.

 

It's important to appear united and discuss things in private.

 

btw: My mother divorced her first husband for this reason. He had two teenage boys that ran over her. They disrespected her (cursed her/etc), tried to be aggressive physically with her ( break her things when angry,etc), and stole her jewelry.( To give to their gf's and/or buy drugs.) It was impossible to leave her purse around the house without fear. She had to keep everything locked away and walk on eggshells to keep peace. The last straw was when they tried to peek in on her in the shower. He was a wonderful husband,but wouldn't stand up to his boys.

The Lounge I Caught My Stepson Having Sex. Oct 08 2009
20:03 (UTC)
27
Original Post by kathygator:

It's her stepson  - and he obviously doesn't respect the fact that she's a viable part of the parental team. Her husband is not being supportive of their parenting responsibilities, so the OP, IMO, doesn't have much choice in the situation.

She can either be angry or choose to let them work it out, either way, her responsibility ends when the father chooses not to support her.

Exactly. I agree, Kathy.

Bright side: Kids grow up! That will probably make sparks fly in his brain,Lol. It should give him some incentive to leave the nest,imo. Hopefully...He'll want to be King of his own castle asap now. The whole incident may give a reason to strive to move out!

 

The Lounge He won't marry me... Oct 07 2009
21:47 (UTC)
4
Original Post by zebraarbez:

Original Post by starlitocean:

Original Post by zebraarbez:

No more sex. Sorry, but the old saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" applies here.

 oh no.  we've found someone else to recommend withholding sex.

 The idea isn't to punish him or to use sex as power (a very bad idea in marriage.)

1. Sex leads to pregenancy (even the best birth control is not 100%.) She has already gotten pregnant twice in 4 years (I would hazard a guess neither was planned.) The last thing she needs at this moment is to get pregnant a 3rd time.

2. The overall point of the paragraph is that she is providing the equivalent of a married environment (household, family, sex, everything.) If she wants things to change, she should start changing them.

 

True & True


A person that is willing to change/compromise is more likely to see results,imo. Some people only want results they aren't willing to change/compromise. The OP is going to have to make changes in her life/relationship. (If she wants things to change... Anyways.)

The Lounge He won't marry me... Oct 07 2009
21:33 (UTC)
8
Original Post by zebraarbez:
You are only 24. It may seem like you've been around forever, but the truth is you've just started. You still have at least twice that long (50 more years) to go. Don't think that because you've got things screwed up at this point, you'll never be able to turn them around. Life lasts a long, long time, and you've still got a long way to go.

Or to put it another way, do you thin they'll have flying cars in 2075? Do you think flying to the Moon will be as easy as cross-country is today? Will they have robots that look just like people in 2075?  It's a long way away, but you'll still be alive even in 2075. You have alot of life left.

 ^ Good advice.

On the flip side: The truth is that life doesn't last all that long. Lots of people die young! People die younger than expected every day.

Remember that.

You could die asap....  That's a more compelling reason to get your life in order,imho. "Life is short," don't waste time.

The Lounge He won't marry me... Oct 07 2009
20:58 (UTC)
14

If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him.

It's important that you encourage him to take on the role of your equal. If he isn't willing/able to be the man you need/want... Move on. Don't continue to enable him.

You simply can't do all the work (by "forgiving/excuses" him) and let your boyfriend skate. Don't let him control what you spend and/or don't enable his spending by letting him live off you. Never continue a relationship ( or: go into a marriage ) based on the delusion that things will change. (or: magically get better)

btw: It isn't until the death of a parent/child that some people begin to realize the true impact of death/grief. While I sympathize with his loss greatly, there are too many other red flags here. He needs your support,encouragement, and sympathize.

However: It's important not to allow your sympathy to turn into a pity party that enables/excuses everything.

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