Posts by enchantingimage

I think I'm going to have another sandwich!

Original Post by fitzgeraldine:

I adore him, and his son, but I am not interested having the responsibilities that comes with being involved in a child's life.

  I suggest that you help speed up the processs of moving on with your life. Don't stress it. This doesn't have to be made into something dramatic by any means. It's life. It's healthy to end this in order to move on in pursuit of finding someone else better suited for you,imho. :)

You aren't interested in the responsibilities that come with this package deal anyway. I think you'd both be doing yourselves a favor by moving on.

Hm. I wouldn't mind being given lingerie as a gift infront of others.

I'd just blush before trying it on for them all. ;)  j/k

My family wouldn't be shocked and/or surprised by the gesture from my lover.

 OP: Just tell your SO that you want the gift given to you in private. Or: That you want something else because you aren't into that. Explain to him that you feel it's something more for him than you. Personally:...I don't share your concern over the issue at all. I've always considered lingerie something more for me than my lover.  ;) I actually enjoy it a great deal ... though. Therefore: I see no problem with receiving lingerie.  I <3 it!

Original Post by fillenouvelle:

Original Post by tciherr:

How about a large basket of homemade goodies?  Muffins, cookies, fresh fruit, nuts, etc.  Super cheap but labor intensive.

I'm worried they might think I was being cheap if I do that!  It would cost me a lot to buy all the ingredients (and the bakeware, since I have none), so it wouldn't actually be cheap.  I might do that though, since I love to bake!

 Phft. They might think you were sent from heaven. :) Do it!

Good riddance.

Original Post by cptbunny:

Original Post by watergirl:

omg u r sooooo skinny ag u must rly rly like cabbages like u wanna marry 1 n name it sully and flog it i mean jeeeshhhhh go 4 it. ffffttt. *w*

lmao

omgz! Fo' Seriously.

Original Post by schnooder:

Original Post by dnrothx:

Original Post by starrynighteyes92:

haha yeah I was thinking that

but she's like married. and has a child so it's really just like what in the world??? lol.

Um...now who's sounding ditzy?

I hope you tell people that the green discoloration of your face is not jaundice.

agreed.

This thread gets the Schnooder's Suck Approval Award, why? Because it sucks. With a capital SUCK

^5 That's hilarious.

OP: I suggest that you consider changing your crew of friends to some that share your disdain.

My 2cents:

 The stepparent's place isn't always actively initiating direct discipline. Although it may be the biological parent who delivers the initial consequences for misbehavior... It's important that the stepparent be active in support of that decision. Extreme care should be taken that proper respect and acknowledgment of the stepparent is given. A stepmother is not simply one's husband's wife. She is in fact an adult and an authority figure in the home. That doesn't mean that her say goes against the biological parent.

Every situation/family is different due to circumstances. That's fact. However: It is my general understanding/belief that unless.... Unless you as a step-mom/dad are added to the family when the children are/were very young... It will most likely be difficult for you to discipline your spouses children. Trying to discipline your non-biological children is like skating on thin ice. It's easy to create resentment on the part of your spouse. The fact that he's pulling the " I'm the Dad " card matters. He's entitled to pull that card rightfully,imo. The OP should respect that card. However: You shouldn't allow yourself to be disrespected. Talk to your hubby because he's disrespecting you by allowing it.  He should stand up for you in that regard. Or: You will never be respected by his son.

 While I don't believe it's likely a workable situation for a stepparent to be a direct disciplinarian. I do believe it's extremely important that the stepparent be an active supporter of the biological parent's disciplinary efforts. Both biological parents and stepparents should discuss the rules of the house. That way they have already established what standards of which the children will be held accountable. That's when they negotiate an agreement for the ' said standards.' Anytime: The " I'm the Dad " card is pulled... That means you're opening yourself up to be resented by the biological parent.

It's important to appear united and discuss things in private.

btw: My mother divorced her first husband for this reason. He had two teenage boys that ran over her. They disrespected her (cursed her/etc), tried to be aggressive physically with her ( break her things when angry,etc), and stole her jewelry.( To give to their gf's and/or buy drugs.) It was impossible to leave her purse around the house without fear. She had to keep everything locked away and walk on eggshells to keep peace. The last straw was when they tried to peek in on her in the shower. He was a wonderful husband,but wouldn't stand up to his boys.

Original Post by zebraarbez:

Original Post by starlitocean:

Original Post by zebraarbez:

No more sex. Sorry, but the old saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" applies here.

 oh no.  we've found someone else to recommend withholding sex.

 The idea isn't to punish him or to use sex as power (a very bad idea in marriage.)

1. Sex leads to pregenancy (even the best birth control is not 100%.) She has already gotten pregnant twice in 4 years (I would hazard a guess neither was planned.) The last thing she needs at this moment is to get pregnant a 3rd time.

2. The overall point of the paragraph is that she is providing the equivalent of a married environment (household, family, sex, everything.) If she wants things to change, she should start changing them.

 

True & True

A person that is willing to change/compromise is more likely to see results,imo. Some people only want results they aren't willing to change/compromise. The OP is going to have to make changes in her life/relationship. (If she wants things to change... Anyways.)

If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him.

It's important that you encourage him to take on the role of your equal. If he isn't willing/able to be the man you need/want... Move on. Don't continue to enable him.

You simply can't do all the work (by "forgiving/excuses" him) and let your boyfriend skate. Don't let him control what you spend and/or don't enable his spending by letting him live off you. Never continue a relationship ( or: go into a marriage ) based on the delusion that things will change. (or: magically get better)

btw: It isn't until the death of a parent/child that some people begin to realize the true impact of death/grief. While I sympathize with his loss greatly, there are too many other red flags here. He needs your support,encouragement, and sympathize.

However: It's important not to allow your sympathy to turn into a pity party that enables/excuses everything.