|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 16 2011
Mashed, hey sweetie. I know how hard it is, believe me I do. I'm having similar issues with my own clothes and it makes me feel like I'm exploding out of my skin. It feels tight and uncomfortable and I just feel much too big. Sometimes, gaining weight feels just plain awful. It breaks my heart a little that you're sitting by yourself in a cafe feeling so terribly - I wish I could give you a hug. But since I'm in Canada the best I have to offer is my support through the internet. I know it feels uncomfortable to be at this weight (what I'm assuming to be your highest in years); but there is no way you're fat. None at all. I know it might feel that way, but the truth is you're still underweight.
Don't feel like you need to be strong all the time, either. You're doing hard, hard work - and all on your own. Day in and day out, you have to battle this awful disease. Each meal, each snack, you're going against what the eating disorder wants from you, and that takes such mental effort. Not to mention the added stress of being a university student. Sometimes, a good cry is needed! For right now, you don't have to be strong. Lean on us. Lean on your family. Just because you've come along way since your lowest/most eating-disordered days, doesn't make it any easier right now. It's still hard, even if you've gained weight. I know that..
Anyways, I know I don't have the right words to help you feel better, but just know that there are people (me!) all the way across the ocean thinking and caring about you today. You aren't alone!
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 15 2011
Here's yesterday (Feb.14th):
B: two thick slices caraway-rye toast spread with 2tbs crunchy peanut butter and topped with a sliced banana, warm honey, cinnamon and coconut.
S: yogurt covered fruit+nut 'kind' bar.
L: fire-roasted chana masala with spinach (chickpeas with tomatoes, onions and spices) over whole wheat cous-cous; sliced macintosh apple (that's the last of the curry - promise! =P)
S: two slices homemade banana bread
D: whole wheat spaghetti tossed in a butternut squash and sage sauce topped with crumbled ricotta cheese over wilted arugula; 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: dates stuffed with almond butter and rolled in coconut.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 14 2011
Hey guys! I'm just going to post meal plans for now because I've had a bit of a rough few days - my weight has been going up very quickly lately and it's been hard to handle! I've been eating though - like mashed said; recovery must be beneficial for me in many ways, because I continue to eat my meal plan despite how much I'm hating my weight gain.
B: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with ezekial almond granola, a sliced banana, honey roasted peanuts, cinnamon raisins and coconut.
S: 4 graham crackers spread with cream cheese (3tbs) and honey.
L: yam and carrot soup topped with parsley and raisins; two thick slices caraway rye bread spread with lots of hummus.
S: dates stuffed with cashew butter and rolled in coconut.
D: navajo stew (sweet potatoes, onions, red pepper and black beans in a tomato-adobe sauce) topped with plain yogurt and cilantro; a side of roasted broccoli and 1cup soymilk.
S: pumpkin scone; fresh grapes.
B: overnight museli (oats soaked in vanilla yogurt and soymilk) mixed with a grated apple and topped with honey, banana slices and cranberry-honey-sea salted almonds.
S: 'nutty apricot' fruit+nut bar
L: almond butter (2tbs) and apricot jam sandwich on two thick slices caraway rye bread; a large macintosh apple.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with ezekial almond granola and craisins.
D: fire-roasted chana masala with wilted spinach(curried chickpeas with tomatoes, spices and onions) served over brown rice and topped with plain yogurt and cilantro; 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: 4 grahamm crackers spread with cream cheese and honey.
B: whipped banana oatmeal topped with pure maple syrup, drippy almond butter, orange spiced almonds and milk.
S: large slice of banana bread
L: yam and carrot soup w/ parsley and raisins; a thick slice of caraway-rye bread spread with lots of hummus and a sliced red delicious apple.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with ezekial almond granola and cinnamon raisins.
D: fire-roasted chana masala with wilted spinach (curried chickpeas with tomatoes, onions, and spices) topped with plain yogurt and cilantro; 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: dates stuffed with almond butter.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 11 2011
You just nailed that for me. I think I'm at a stage now where I'm in between sickness and health. I look back at where I was and I feel this awful nostalgia. As much as I hated being in hospitals over and over again, with tubes down my nose and nurses listening to me pee and dead bodies being rolled down the halls, a small part of me misses it so badly it hurts. I miss the perceived 'comfort', I miss my old body, I miss the sharp angles and the 'special' attention I received from family. And yet another part of me is delighted in this newfound health. Occasionaly it occurs to me that I haven't woken up dizzy in ages, or that I'm strong enough now top shovel the driveway after a canadian blizzard, or that I no longer torture myself with food I cannot have, and I am so grateful. I feel health, for the first time in years. The problem is that these two sides of me are forever at odds - and as much as I long for the days I spent in my illness, I know that I will never be back. And that's hard. I think it's a grieving process, really. As I continue to climb in weight; I fear that I'll lose more and more of my disorder (even though I hate the life anorexia crafted for me). This is scary because it's been my primary companion for six years. I got sick at fifteen (still a young teen!) and now I'm nearing twenty-one and I don't know how to acct and what to do in this adult life.
Anywayss, here's yesterday's meal plan:
B: large whole wheat banana waffle topped with drippy almond butter, sliced banana, orange spiced almonds and pure maple syrup.
S: smoothie made with a banana, vanilla yogurt, orange juice and flaxseeds.
L: wild rice and soybean salad over arugula and alfalfa sprouts; 50g waffle pretzels and a large red delicious apple.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with ezekial almond granola and cinnamon raisins.
D: navajo stew (sweet potatoes, onion, red pepper and black beans in a chipotle-cilantro tomato sauce) topped with plain greek yogurt; a side of roasted broccoli and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: peanut butter chocolate chip larabar.
carrotcake: glad you liked the smoothie! It's one of my favs aswell. =)
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 10 2011
mashedtatties: I suppose it goes with the territory (drinking&university)! It would be a bit of a shame to miss out on the social part of drinking (especially cause ED's cause us to isolate); so I guess just keep an eye on it? To be honest I'm looking forward to being in school and getting a bit drunk once in a while with friends...it feels so normal.
carrotcakelove: good for you for going with the flow and allowing yourself the drink with syrup! That's a great step on your part! I think life was trying to tell you that no matter how hard we try to plan for everything; there's always bound to be a twist or turn! Also, I was giving some thought to your fruit dilemma - how about a pumpkin pie smoothie? I noticed you like pumpkin, so if you used some pumpkin puree, a sliced banana, some milk/soymilk, frozen yogurt, pumpkin pie spice and maple syrup you'd have atleast 1.5 serving of fruit and veg. covered.
daydream: I know what you mean about believing that a ~16 BMI is okay. I struggle with it aswell, especially since I'm nearing that point. I just feel like I look normal now, am healthier, etc. But if remaining at that weight means slipping later on and losing more of my life - then it's only worth it to try for higher. You can do it!
glittersandsprinkles: well I followed a recipe and they were called cuban black bean patties. =P I used montery jack cheese, red onion, jalepenos, and cumin; so I'm guessing that's what the staff of the magazine considers to be cuban flavors, lol! They were very good, though! Good luck with the dietician!
thebiggerpicture: I'm glad things were looking up for you today; and great job challening yourself! Butter is a big fear for me; so I know how hard it must have been to conquer! I used to lovee french bread with margarine as a kid...you've just reminded me of that!
Muchlinksi: I'm sorry it was a trying day with the dietician. I know it must seem impossible right now,, but I'm sure in time you'll adjust to the increase. The use of supplements should help! Also, sometimes I find that a hard push from a treatment team/parents/etc. is just what I need to get to the 'next level', so to speak. It's easy to get comfortable, and ED thrives on routines and saftey - so it's necessary to continue to increase, challenge and conquer the anorexia. Like you said, anorexia does kill. And that's one of my fav. sayings!
kbryson: I'm in the same boat! I really struggle to fill my free time. I do have a part time job in retail, but since January is a slow month my hours have been cut down quite drastically. I find it hard to sit through movies, or read books (I don't know if that's a problem for you?) so sometimes I just go for a drive, or browse the mall. I also do yoga and spend time with my younger sibilings. In hospital I made a lot of cards and did lots of crafts...sometimes I even colored in coloring books for something to do. It's hard right now; but just remember - it will pass!
natmelts: hey again! How are you adjusting to being back at university after winter break? I hope you're settling in okay! Great job with your meal plan - it all sounds really good!
peanutbutterkisses&zebulancherry: It's always nice to hear from people who've made it through to the other side! I'm glad that things continue to go well (for the most part). =)
Okay, here's today:
B: pear ginger oatmeal (oats cooked with a chopped red pear, ginger, nutmeg and cinnamon) topped with pure maple syrup, raisins, candied pecans, milk and crystalized ginger.
S: fruit+nut yogurt covered 'kind' bar.
L: two thick slices sourdough rye toast spread with cream cheese (3tbs) and honey w/ alfalfa sprouts and walnuts; lots of fresh grapes.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with cinnamon raisin buckwheat granola and extra raisins.
D: chickpea piccata served over mashed potatoes and cauliflower; wilted argula and 1cup apple juice.
S: dates stuffed with cashew butter
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 09 2011
Hey everyone! I'm a bit behind so I have a couple days' worth of meal plans for you. =P
suspendue_lahaut: heyy, congrats on making it to 3,000. That's not an easy feat; especially when you've got to deal with stomach pain. I went for quite a few months absolutely tortured by stomach pain; but after a while (consistent eating/regular times etc.) it imroved! Maybe a heat pad would help the discomfort? Even if it doesn't I find the warmth comforting on an emotional level.
kessa: Heyya I totally understand the stomach issues! I mentioned a few things just now because it seems a lot of us are in the same boat; I do think that over time it will lessen and your body will adjust to the higher amount of calories. You may never feel starving again during re-feeding - but that's not a natural feeling anyway! I used to equate famished=hungry; but im working on recognizing the first twinges of hunger, which is when most people would eat anyways. =)
daydream: yayy for challenging yourself to the mac and cheese! I know that you'd been wanting to try it for a while, and it sounds like the meal was at one point pretty comforting! I think it's great that you've exposed yourself to an old favorite - the best way to get rid of the ED anxiety is to continually challenge the fear foods - over time you're 'comfort' zone will increase and what was once a challenge is now a comfort! I used to be deathly afraid of nutbutters but now they're my best friend!
chubug: I'm sorry ED came in and ruined your night! I know how much safer it feels to stay at home; but I think you recognized that the real you wanted to go out and have fun, and that's a step!
muchlinksi: I can totally understand how triggering that sort of situation would be with the new girl in treatment. I've been in similar positions and it's terrible. The ED would just use the new person as a means to beat me up - another way to make me feel lesser then. It's all lies! Keep strong. <3
beth: I'm so glad to see you back here and posting! I really like your idea of a pre-breakfast. I'm usually up super early; and it's nice to see (and get used to) the notion that it's okay to have something before breakfast; instead of forcing myself to wait! =)
glittersandsprinkles: I hate when indecisiveness takes over! It's the worst. I've been reduced to tears on numerous occasions because I couldn't decide what to eat. I think you did a really good job of managing the grocery stores (even if a few lighter items did slip in your cart). You did the very best you could today and that's what's important! Go easy on yourself.
mashedtatties: I love indian food! I make it at home all the time, but I've never been out for it before! It's on my to-do list. =) Also, bananas drunkenly dipped in peanut butter sounds pretty good right now! I know you've struggled a bit before with drinking (and the eating that follows) - and just wanted to check in and see how you were managing with all that! I hope that you're being kind with yourself. =)
Okayy, here's yesterday (eerily similar to the day before, but I feel responsible to eat the leftovers of whatever I make)!
B: maple and cardamom sweetened greek yogurt topped with dates&spices granola, a large sliced banana, chopped dates, sea salted peanuts and coconut.
S: 4 graham crackers spread with pumpkin spiced cream cheese (3+ tbs)
L: pasta con broccoli ( pasta tossed in a broccoli, white wine, olive oil and garlic sauce) topped with parmesan cheese; lots of grapes.
S: banana sliced and spread with crunchy peanut butter and honey.
D: red lentil dal served over a large portion brown rice; a side of roasted broccoli and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: fruit+nut yogurt covered 'kind' bar.
B: overnight museli (oats soaked in vanilla soymilk and yogurt); mixed with a grated apple in the morning and topped with sliced banana, honey, orange spiced almonds and coconut.
S: granola with coconut 'macrobar'.
L: two thick sliced sourdough rye bread spread with almond butter (2tbs) and orange marmalade w/ flaxseeds; a sliced red delicious apple.
S: harvest fruit mueslix cereal in vanilla soymilk.
D: cuban black bean patties served with pinapple fried rice, plain yogurt and cilantro; jerk asparagus and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: graham crackers spread with cream cheese and honey.
|Health & Support||Struggling to keep it up, being over sensative - ED||Feb 08 2011
I definitely understand the want/desire to be praised for your accomplishments. It means a lot to me too. If it helps any, building yoru calories up to 2500/day is quite the feat; especially because it goes against the very nature of your illness. I know how hard you worked to get there - and you deserve to stay there!
It sounds like you're a bit lonely (I am too!) and having support from a group is really important right now. That's totally understandable and 100% okay. ED's cause us to isolate and draw away from others; and yet, it's during this time that we need others the most (for help, support, encouragement).Sometimes it just takes a little while to get into the swing of things, but it'll happen. =) I think it's great that you had the courage to ask for help and support here on the forums. That's a great first step in practicing kindness towards yourself!
Know that I'm here if you would ever like someone to talk to!
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 07 2011
Oh my goodness, I can so relate to everything being discussed right now! I also get terribly anxious and can feel my irratibility, low mood, confusion, etc. come up when I haven't eating enough that day. It's like stepping outside my body and seeing me being controlled by anorexia - so strange. I think I'm far enough along in my recovery now to be able to pinpoint when I'm anxious and feeling more eating disordered then normal - and I don't like it. I'm also afraid not to, though. I don't know what it would mean if I weren't eating disordered, only because it's been my 'identity' for that past five, going on six, years.
I can also relate to needing the kitchen to be clean! I thought I was the only one. It's been a bit better lately, btu I used to spend the majority of my day cleaning the kitchen, doing dishes, loading the dishwasher, etc. just so it was clean. It was a constant battle though because we're a family of seven with three teenage boys!
Anyways, on to today:
B: two serving maple sunrise cereal with 1cup vanilla soymilk and topped with a sliced banana, sea-salted peanuts, sweetened flaked coconut and cinnamon.
S: large banana-orange-pistachio muffin
L: pasta con broccoli (ww pasta tossed with broccoli in an olive oil, white wine, garlic sauce) topped with parmesan cheese; 1 sliced red delicious apple.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with dates&spices granola and orange spiced almonds.
D: red lentil dal served over a large portion brown rice; a side of roasted broccoli and 1cup apple juice.
S: dates stuffed with crunchy peanut butter.
Mapledreams - I'm glad I inspired a craving! Go ahead and have your old favorite - you deserve it!
Daydream - thanks so much for the encouragement, it really means a lot. <33
Hi to kessa, strawberry, vangogo! Don't think we've 'met' so just wanted to say hello. =)
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 06 2011
Congratulations everyone on eating out and conquering some fearful foods! It makes me happy to read that slowly but surely we're all becoming more comfortable with food and consuming it in atypical situations. =) After all, while scheduled eating times and meal plans can be a saving grace for us; it's nice to know that we have the ability to go out there are be flexible too!
Yesterday and the day before were kind of rough for me - I was just really full, turned off food and struggling with my body. But today seems to be off to a better start, so fingers crossed!
Two days ago:
B: overnight oatmeal (oats soaked in vanilla soymilk and plain greek yogurt); and in the morning topped with pure maple syrup, sliced fresh strawberries, dried bing cherries and cocoa-cherry-almond granola.
S: trail mix (yogurt covered raisins, craisins, candied pecans and sea-salted peanuts)
L: carmelized onion, parsnip, and kale penne pasta with olive oil and parmesan cheese; a sliced red delicious apple.
S: homemade berry crisp (my first in years - used to be an old favorite made by my mom. =) ) with organic vanilla yogurt.
D: large portion eggplant-lentil chili mole served over a large baked sweet potato and topped with cilantro; 1cup apple juice.
S: chocolate chocolate chip larabar
B: spiced raisin hot cereal cooked with a sliced banana and topped with warm honey, milk, orange spiced almonds and chopped figs.
S: apricot-almond 'kind' bar.
L: crunchy peanut butter (2tbs) and apricot jam (2tbs) sandwhich on thick wholewheat bread; a sliced red pear.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with cinnamon raisin granola, raisins and sweetened coconut.
D: vegetarian lasagna made with spinach, zucchini, mushrooms, onions and cheeses; a side of roasted broccoli and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: large banana sliced and spread with almond butter and honey.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 04 2011
Hey everyone. It was a weigh-day for me today, and I'm up another .6lb. I know it doesn't seem like much, but since actively trying to gain (from the end of april '10), I've gone up 13.6lbs, with the last ~3lbs in these past couple of weeks. It's just happening quicker now, and it's so uncomfortable. Rationally I know that I've been gaining at a slow pace; but I almost feel like I've been taking my time saying good-bye to Anorexia; and now that the weight gain is speeding up I'm having to 'let go' much quicker - I don't know if that makes sense...
B: vanilla greek yogurt topped with a large sliced banana, cinnamon raisin buckwheat granola, honey roasted peanuts, raisins and coconut.
S: fruit+nut yogurt covered 'kind' bar.
L: two thick slices ancient grains toast spred with 2TBS cashew butter and honey; lots of fresh grapes.
S: graham crackers spread with pumpkin spiced cream cheese ( I make the cream cheese myself and it's delicious - if you're a pumpkin fan, make this! Take two tablespoons cream cheese and mix with one tablespoon pumpkin butter, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice and raw cane sugar. )
D: carmelized onion, parsnip and kale penne pasta with olive oil and lots of parmesan cheese; a side of roasted broccoli and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: dates stuffed with sea-salted peanuts.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 03 2011
Mapledreams - course I remember you! =) It's nice being back here and posting.
Thebiggerpicture - I can totally relate to not knowing what you want. I feel that way all the time. It's hard, because if someone said 'jump' I would in a heartbeat. If my parents told me - 'go to university - it's what we want', I'd be at the college signing up ASAP. It's hard because I generally don't know what I like or want anymore! Most of my food related decisions are extremely hard to make because of the OCD/ED related rules - and that just drives me off the wall! For one day I'd like to be free from everything! I don't know what I even want to do with myself, life, etc...so yep, I can definitely understand where you're coming from.
B: baked plum oatmeal (oats cooked with milk, dark brown sugar, dried cherries, spices and a chopped fresh plum) topped with candied pecans and vanilla greek yogurt.
S: natural fruit and nut bar (peanuts, honey, cranberries, almonds and raisins).
L: cranberry-cashew byrani with lentils and cilantro; a sliced blood orange and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: thick slice of ancient grains toast spread with crunchy peanut butter and ginger-rhubarb preserves.
D: eggplant-lentil chili mole; served over a large baked sweet potato and grated asiago cheese; 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: 2 servings dried fruit cobbler blend ( apples, mangoes, plums, and rhubarb).
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 23rd until February 21st||Feb 02 2011
Hey everyone! I've missed posting here so much - I know I kinda fell off the face of the earth (or rather, the internet =P), and I'm sorry. What happened was that I was feeling really low and really depressed, my weight was hovering around the same number for weeks, and I was just a crying mess. My solution? I decided to increase my intake by a couple hundred calories and see if that would help my mood. So, I bit the bullet and added a bit more, took bigger portions, worked on making my snacks larger, and ended up gaining 2lbs pretty quickly.
My moods been slightly better (I'm not crying as much); but my body image is absolutely terrible and I'm really struggling with the weight gain. I've gone from a 13.4 BMI to a 15.5BMI and the WG is noticeable and very uncomfortable. I've been really struggling, but the important part is that I've continued to eat and resisted the (really strong urge) to restrict.
Anyways, I wanted to say:
Muchlinksi: You're doing wonderfully! I've been reading and I noticed how varied your meal plan has been since beginning day treatment, and I'm so proud of you for continually challenging your ED and going to program. I've done day treatment quite a few times before; and I know it`s hard to be challenged at every turn! You`re a soldier!
Thebiggerpicture: I'm amazed at how far you've come since you started posting on here! You've knocked out quite a few fear foods and you continue to fight. I definitely draw inspiration from you and even bought a packaged meal that I've been meaning to try for years because of you! You definitely utilize each day to fight ED and he's got to be very scared! =P
Joanneee: I'm glad you're being honest on here; but even more glad that you've been honest with yourself! Because in the end, you're fighting for your life back - so you have the most to lose! First step is recognition!
Carrotcakelove: good luck with all the events taking place in your life right now! I know that the tension with your parents has got to be quite a burden, not to mention pressure from treatment teams, etc. You deserve quite a lot of credit for managing your high meal plan day in and day out, despite everything. Try not to worry too much about the 2lb/week gain - most often weight gain isn't linear ( more like, up 2, down 1, up 1/2lbs...) so in the end it will even out. Besides, your body has been through the wringer and it's just trying it's best to find even ground.
Mashedtatties: I've been on calorie-count for as long as I can remember, and I've seen you come soo far. I am so impressed. To be completely honest, just seeing you defy your strong and severe ED on your own has been a catalyst for my own recovery. I am without any treatment team at the moment, but I'm finally finding that I'm in recovery for me - no one is 'forcing' me into it. I can relate to you so much, and I'm glad that we're both here sharing this thread. Even little interactions with those who understand is so helpful to me right now.
Daydream: Clearly, you're extremely strong girl! You've pushed yourself harder in these past few weeks than I ever could; and you did it at home and on your own. I know that it's been a long battle (for me, too) and that it's hard to go on and pull yourself out of relapse after relapse; but I'm reminded of that quote that speaks to the importance of picking yourself up after each fall. I really believe that this could be the last time you have to pick yourself up off the floor; life's waiting for you, girl!
Adrienne, Beth, runchickrun, mandyloves, everyone else that I haven't already 'met' - Hi!
Okay, on to today!
B: vanilla greek yogurt topped with a sliced banana, dates&spices granola, honey roasted peanuts, cinnamon raisins and flaked coconut.
S: multigrain fig netwons (4)
L: whole wheat cinnamon raisin bagel spread with pumpkin spiced cream cheese; a large sliced red delicious apple.
S: dates stuffed with crunchy peanut butter and rolled in coconut.
D: Quinoa bowl topped with white kidney beans, grilled zucchini, and a spicy kalamata olive romaneso sauce; 1 cup vanilla soymilk.
S: lotss of fresh grapes; pumpkin spice kashi bar
|Young Calorie Counters||Young People Like to Eat TOO--so Share meals HERE!||Jan 20 2011
PBCup: Hi! I don't post here (hardly at all!), but I do occasionaly frequent this thread because it's a great place for support, but I just wanted to say congratulations! I'm so happy you've re-gained your period. =) Also, that was probably why you've been hungrier lately - my mom and sister always get hungrier around that time of the month; and I just wanted to commend you for listening to your body, feeding it, and treating it right. Definite inspiration for me today!
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 7th until January 21st||Jan 13 2011
Muchlinski, onesunnyday, thebiggerpicture - thanks soo much for the support. =) Sometimes I just need a lift and you guys knew exactly what to say. Your comments really helped me get through yesterday so thanks again!
Happy Birthday to all those who celebrated! I hope you guys had a wonderful day!
|Health & Support||post recovery ocd issuessss||Jan 12 2011
I can totally relate to the OCD. I've always had elements of OCD, but it seemed to worsen and strengthen during my eating disorder (and it continues to be a problem). I never felt the need for my clothes to be perfect while I ate; but I have other odd fixations that I can't seem to let go of.
For example, my meals and snacks for the day have to 'match'. It sounds weird; but basically if I have anything maple flavored for breakfast, it needs to be carried pon through out the day. So if I have maple syrup on my oats, then when it comes time for snack time I will pick the maple roasted almonds, etc. Or, the colors of my food need to match and be carried through - blackberries at breakfast? Then it means blueberry (another 'blue') jam at lunch. I often find this to be extremely frustrating and limiting, as I never know what I truly want vs. what my OCD rules allow me to have.
The way I've always understood these obsessions is that they're related to low weight and a starved brain. Over time, with continued nutrition and weight gain, they should decrease (atleast, I'm hoping). I've been re-fed many times before, and this seems to be the case. Sometimes I try to be patient with myself and say ' I'm so riddled with anxiety that the only way my mind knows how to cope is to focus in on these ridiculous rituals that make it possible to eat'. It may sound silly, but when I think of my poor body not being able to make decisions without the crutch of matching foods, I get less frustrated with myself and my patience increases. Right now, the important part for us both is to continue to eat and gain weight/health/nutrition. For now, these compulsions aren't necessarily hurting me as much as being underweight is, so I'm trying to accept them. When I reach a healthy weight (and if they haven't diminshed), I will seek more help or challenge myself more on the OCD.
Anyways, don't know if this helps at all but I just wanted you to know that I can soo relate!
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 7th until January 21st||Jan 11 2011
Hi everyone. here's a couple days worth of menues. I've been v. depressed lately, and thus have found my meals to be a pain. I'm feeling pretty shaky in my recovery - eating; but mentally, not so great. Anyways, I feel a little selfish for this, but a little encouragement would be soo appreciated. I'm doing this on my own, without the support of an ED team or anything, so a little back up would do wondders!
B: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with apricot&fig granola (280cals/60g and 22g of fat - scary, but awesome for gaining), a sliced banana, chopped dried apricots and coconut.
S: multigrain fig newtons
L: sushi! brown rice vegetarian sushi rolls; lotss of fresh grapes.
S: dates stuffed with almond butter and then rolled in coconut.
D: hot and sweet stirfry (full fat tofu, mixed vegetables, lots of sauce, etc.) with a large portion brown rice; 1 cup 1% milk.
S: crunchy maple sunrise cereal with a sliced banana and vanilla soymilk.
B: branflakes (x2) with 1cup vanilla soymilk, topped with a sliced banana, roasted cashews, dried bing cherries, and coconut.
S: natural fruit and nut bar (honey, almonds, peanuts, cranberries and raisins).
L: cashew butter and honey sandwich on whole wheat bread; carrot sticks and lots of fresh cherries.
S: greek yogurt sweetened with maple sugar, topped with alpine muesli and homemade cranberry sauce.
D: navajo stew (sweet potatoes, black beans, red peppers and onions in a tomato, cilantro adobe sauce) topped with plain greek yogurt; roasted broccoli and 1 cup vanilla soymilk.
S: dates stuffed with mixed maple roasted nuts.
I'm going out for lunch today; pretty nervous since eating out is still a challenge for me. I'm trying to reframe the meal in my mind, as an activity I'm doing for pleasure. Going out to eat shouldn't make me feel anxious and stressed; it should be an event I'm looking forward to!
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 7th until January 21st||Jan 09 2011
B: sweet potato oatmeal (oats cooked with cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, garam masala and sweet potato puree) topped with dark brown sugar, candied pecans, cinnamon raisins, flaked coconut and milk.
S: dates stuffed with maple roasted mixed nuts.
L: almond butter and pumpkin butter sandwich on whole wheat bread; lots of fresh grapes and maple sweetened greek yogurt.
S: cinnamon raisin baguette crisps (x2 servings) with lots of hummus to dip.
D: navajo stew (sweet potatoes, onion, red pepper, black beans in a cilantro, tomato adobe sauce) with roasted broccoli. 1cup vanilla soymilk.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - January 7th until January 21st||Jan 08 2011
B: nature's path crunchy maple cereal (x2) with 1cup vanilla soymilk, topped with a sliced banana, chopped dried apples, candied pecans and coconut.
S: apricot&almond 'kind' bar.
L: golden chickpea and artichoke salad with toasted almonds; cinnamon raisin walnut baguette crisps alongside. Macintosh apple.
S: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with maple pecan granola, coconut and pear compote.
D: whole wheat cheese&potato perogies topped with parmesan, lemon and plain yogurt; roasted root vegetables w/ olive oil and rosemary. 1cup apple juice.
S: almond butter w/ a sliced pear.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - December 22nd until January 5th||Jan 07 2011
Hii guys. Many days to catch up on - so I'll just jump right in!
B: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with ambrosial granola, fresh raspberries, chopped candied pecans and flaked coconut.
L: pasta e fagioli (spinach, cannelini beans, pasta, tomatoes) with parmesan cheese; sesame and rosemary flatbreads for dipping and a tangerine.
S: carrot and cranberry muffin; milky tea
D: spicy red lentil dal served over large portion of brown rice; lotss of roasted broccoli and 1 cup vanilla soymilk.
S: maple guardian cereal with candied pecans, coconut and soymilk.
B: whipped banana oatmeal topped with dark brown sugar, sliced banana, apricot&fig granola, dried figs and milk.
S: chai tea latte with milk and chai concentrate.
L: whole wheat english muffin spread with almond butter and honey; lotss of fresh grapes and greek yogurt sweetened with maple sugar.
S: multigrain fig newtons.
D: leftover red lentil dal served with lemon/parsley brown rice; steamed broccoli and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
B: maple sweetened greek yogurt topped with oatmeal raisin granola, chopped orange spiced almonds and cinnamon raisins; lots of fresh grapes alongside.
S: natural granola bar (peanuts, almonds, oats, raisins, honey).
L: hummus, vegetable, arugula and honey dijon sandwich on a whole wheat roll; a sliced naval orange and cinnamon walnut baguette crisps.
S: dates stuffed with almond butter.
D: whole wheat spaghetti with marinara sauce and roasted vegetables in olive oil, topped with parmesan cheese. 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: maple guardian cereal with vanilla soymilk, coconut and flaxseeds.
|Weight Gain||2500+ calories only: Weight Gainers-What Did YOU Eat Today? - December 22nd until January 5th||Jan 04 2011
Still sick. My appetite has gone out the window and nothing it appealing to me right now. My ED thoughts are flaring up a bit too - I feel guilty having to eat so much when I'm sick; because typically most people wouldn't. I can recognize that these aren't healthy thoughts - so I\m combatting them with opposite action and eating my full plan.
B: honey shreddies (x2) with 1cup vanilla soymilk, topped with a large sliced banana, orange spiced almonds and raisins.
S: whole wheat toast spread with almond butter and honey.
L: hugee smoothie made with 1 sliced banana, 1cup soymilk, vanilla frozen yogurt, canned pumpkin, pure maple syrup, and flax. Topped with maple pecan granola.
S: apricot and almond kind bar.
D: pasta e fagioli (pasta, cannelini beans, tomatoes and spinach) w/ parmesan cheese; 1 serving wisecrackers and 1cup vanilla soymilk.
S: granny smith apple; trail mix (pepitas, apricot, raisins, pecans, almonds).