Posts by foxriver

I was completely oblivious of my weight as a teenager. I just ate what was available (mostly healthy, home cooked stuff thanks to my mum) but I never gave a single thought as to whether any of it would make me gain or lose weight.

I was rather aware of how bony I was (mostly because my parents thought it was funny to point out that my knees were kind of knobbly) but otherwise, nope. I just wanted boobs big enough to justify a bra. Didn't get them until I got preggo (at 17 - but I don't recommend that method of getting them) Now I think about it, I couldn't have been finished growing myself then.. and such an early pregnancy (which was completely without medical supervision until the 8th month) probably damaged my growth and normal deveopment. 

Of course all this happened in the unthinkable and almost forgotten times of no personal computers or cell phones and all that stuff. I think it's quite sad that so many tweens and teens are hyper aware of body types that are (mostly) unattainable and that they do so many crazy things to attain this impossible goal. 

Information about health, both good and bad advice is (seems to be) available everywhere and how is a tw/een to know the difference between the two? I try to remember this when those posts pop up.. because how will they know what is right or healthy if no one tells them?

I'd say easy to please is more often accurate "Bring beer, show up naked" is one I've heard often (and the beer is optional). 

Sex and / or food.. easy peasy.

Of course, it's different if other things in your life are not going well.. money worries etc. and yes, a lot of guys (my guy) talk very little about feelings and such. So there is some guess work involved. I'd still say we are ahead of the game though. With women (generally) being more intuitive, it makes it easier for us to figure out what might be putting our guy in an off mood.

Guy's (generally) aren't so great and figuring out what is bugging us though. 

And everyone is annoying sometimes. 

I just try not to let it bother me: when he's watching his stupid -noisy- show, I pop in my headphones! Endless football - I find craft projects to do.. there are ways around anything and a little tolerance goes a long way to smoothing your lives together. 

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by kikt:

And will you guys shut up about your christmas gift paranoia! It's not even December!

My family agreed we would not BUY gifts this year, but would MAKE them for each other.

And several of my family members have health conditions that make sweets or alcohol gifts problematic.

:-(

I'm not a very crafty person.  I'm not good at making crafts.

Allow me to make some suggestions.. my fave (and very easy go to) is filled mason jars (which you can buy very reasonably from craft stores) .. then fill with all kinds of fun things (not all food related) check THIS out! 

Candles, hand/ body scrub, FAIRIES! 

My own fave mason jar filling is home made salsa with a pretty cello bag of baked veggie chips (you can make yourself) or a home made pasta sauce. 

And there's yummy options such as layered ingredients to make cookies or cakes. But you could stuff the jar with pampering treats instead like a mani pedi kit or all the ingredients for a luxurious bath.

Some prep required on time off (helps if you have access to an oven and even a small freezer):

Roast root veggies (sweet potato, carrot, onion etc) drizzle with olive oil and season, 40 mins @ 350 if you do a lot, this mix can be used for several meals.. add protein of choice while at work.

Make filled whole grain wraps in advance and freeze, just roll them up in foil or a ziplock bag. Assuming that you have several hours between arriving at work and eating your meal, it should easily be defrosted by the time you are ready to eat. As long as you don't add salad veggies, this will work fine. 

Bake a potato (bake a couple or more for future use), bring salad of mixed greens (you can buy bags of ready mixed if time is really that short) at work, add beans or other protein.

Soups. Veggie and lentil soups don't take long to make and are very filling and protein rich .. and again, making a large batch means you can portion it out appropriately and eat over several days (or freeze for another occasion).

Chili. Make in advance. Freeze into portions. Grab and go.

I do / use all of the above for grab and go lunches/ dinners because I am often called in early or for an extra unplanned shift, so I need to have something readily available that I don't need to prep right before leaving when I am in a hurry. I simply grab one of my pre-prepared "to go" options and a piece of fruit and I have my dinner all sorted. Since I cook in bulk, the overall time spent in preparation is fairly minimal I would say, a couple of hours (max) to prepare several dishes that will last for at least 2-3 weeks worth of meals.

Of course, you can tweak all the above for your dietary requirements and taste, but the basic principle is the same. 

Parameters please :D  What is our criteria for this ranking system?

Are these activities we spend the most amount of time upon?

OR .. Things that I like doing the most (not necessarily the same)

OR .. Things that are important to me (whatever reason)

OR .. things that burn the most calories (?)

May we rank several activities under one ranking (ie equally as important / unimportant?)

Yeah.. sorry about the tangent/ derail. Addressing your original question IS tied up with his attitude to you/ life/ sex though... isn't it.

Your subsequent posts have not improved the picture any.. it seems like he really can't be bothered to change. And you can't make him. Ultimately, the decision on what to do next is yours, but I do not think I would stay with someone who was ignoring a really vital part of our relationship after he had been told many times how unhappy that attitude was making me. 

Your feelings matter, your needs count too.. it's not all and only about what he wants. But that is your reality. He's made it very clear with both his words and his actions that nothing is going to change. I find that unacceptable. You may not.

A few years from now, you will realise that you wasted a lot of hope and time, waiting for him to realise that you are amazing and he should be doing everything he can to make you happy..working to have a real relationship together.. right now..  "things in common" are you kidding me? You are basically just room mates.

You are young (22) it's far too soon to settle for second best or just "okay" (not that you should ever) why do that to yourself? 

Your dating history and your desire to change that pattern might be the reason you are reluctant to let go of this man, it's my opinion you would be doing both of you a favor. Walk away.. maybe with regrets of what might have been .. but say goodbye sooner, instead of later.. because he does not care enough about himself or about you to make an effort to change.

There are better options out there for you.

Original Post by dragonjewelz:

So, I can't help but feel a little discouraged right now.. Well, perhaps that is not even the right word to use, because I am feeling more motivated than ever, cutting out junk foods & starting to go for jogs again (it has been a few years).. But my boyfriend seems almost irritated by my sudden desire to stop sitting around complaining about the way I live/look, and finally do something about it.

He is 38 (whereas I am 22) and though not overweight, he does have a tummy & drinks too much pop, sits around playing World of Warcraft on his time off, etc. I just don't want to start feeling guilty about working out.. We don't get to spend too much time together (he works 3am-11am as maintenance for McDonald's, I work shift work as a manager for McDonald's - though I have just been transferred so we no longer work in the same store).. I used to play WoW with him, but recently have felt like it is a waste of time better spent looking into a healthier way of life, and I am looking to take on a second job to help my saving's fund.

I just don't know what to do in terms of responding to his obvious lack of support for me. I love him, we have been together for a year and a half, living together, and he makes me happy. He suffers from depression (before me he had not been with anyone in any form for seven years), and I do not want to be selfish myself and expect too much from him.. I know he fears I am getting into shape for someone else, and he is right. It isn't even for him.. It is for me.

Has anyone ever had to work around this? Getting almost scorned for making better changes/choices with their lifestyle?

Your sex life together was in serious trouble before the "incident" at the end of this summer (whatever that was- you don't have to share on a public forum) 

Everyone's perception of normal is skewed towards their own habits.. but twice a year.. not normal for (wild guess) 98% of people in both your age groups that are in a committed relationship. Unless there extenuating circumstances such as physical injury or necessary medication that has a libido lowering side effect. 

So, IMO this is an issue that needs to be addressed first and foremost, because frankly, you aren't married, so although you may care for him, unless he and / or you are making efforts to resolve whatever is causing this dire lack of sex drive on his part.. what is holding you together given the other less than stellar information about him and your relationship that you have provided? 

If you believe his depression is the cause, is he seeking/ taking any kind of help or treatment? If not, why not? What normal guy would be content to let that situation go unchanged.

I guarantee there is nothing about your current physical appearance that is preventing him from having sexual relations with you. It's NOT you.

Given this new information, I can imagine that your new activity, lack of interest in his pastimes, coupled with your (normal) desire to accumulate savings and have a better lifestyle.. yeah he's assuming you are preparing to leave him... which is probably increasing his depression and apathy. He's still a young man.. zero sex drive is not normal.

So think about it.. what do YOU want to happen here? 

You have to talk to him about this or this situation will continue indefinitely. Are you prepared for that? Another year, two? Better to call him out on this now and tell him this needs his urgent attention. 

He needs medical assistance or counselling.. go together if necessary. Feeling better (revitalizing his sex drive) will improve his mood and make him less likely to want to zone out on WoW.. more willing to do fun stuff with you (apart from more sex that is) and generally more enthusiastic about life. 

If he is not willing to make these efforts .. at least to try.. then maybe you should think about what is best for your future happiness, unless you are relishing a long sexless existence with a depressed gamer. 

First of all 1500 calories is too low of an intake for you. 1500 would be appropriate for an over weight woman trying to lose weight. You are underweight.

Your low intake is causing your body to react in three ways adverse to your health; muscle loss, fat retention and sessions of overeating (I do not consider 2000 calories to be a binge anyway).

The muscle loss IS partly due to your decreased exercise, but your current eating habits are making this situation worse. By undereating when you are already underweight, you are giving your body no choice but to use the only source of readily available fuel to keep normal functions going (breathing, digesting, heart beat, repair and so on) ie your muscle. Your body is metabolizing your muscle to stay alive in a prolonged starvation situation. 

In addition, any time you eat a little more, or you finally give in to those cravings and eat a lot more, your body reacts to that temporary increase in calories by storing as much as possible as fat, to be used for future calorie requirements while you are still under eating.

Now, your body would preferentially burn off muscle first as it is easier to metabolize into energy.. but you are not doing enough exercise (or eating enough) to create new muscle.

The craving to overeat is your body's way of telling you that you are not eating enough. Adopting an IF or once weekly fast will not help this situation, it will make it worse. You will be going from under eating to eating overall even fewer calories. This is just not logical.

Most importantly, you really need to begin eating an appropriate amount of calories. For you, this appropriate intake level should be enough to help you gain weight to a healthy BMI, so you need to increase your calories to 3000 per day (BTW a normal maintenance level for you would be around 2500 calories , so you need to eat more than that to gain weight). Initial days and weeks of gain will be mostly water weight and not real gains as your body reacts to the increased intake and tries to store it (how your body deals with extra calories right now).

When and only when you are safely eating more calories and have gained enough weight that exercising is not dangerous to your health. Then you can look at including short and intense bursts of exercise that will take a small amount of your time but be effective at building muscle (only possible if eating over your maintenance level when recovered). Which means weight lifting (somewhat heavy) and or Interval Training or HIIT.

But I repeat, you must begin by eating more (a lot more and consistently) and stop starving your body.

The length that your hair can get to is determined by the life span of your hair follicles, which varies with each individual. Each one produces a hair for the duration of its growing phase and then the hair falls out. Also, each hair is autonomous; each of our hair follicles is totally independent from its neighbor.

So if your follicle's growing cycle is very long then your hair will also be long, if your individual follicle's growing cycle is somewhat short, then the length your hair can potentially reach is limited by that lifespan.

None of this (the follicle) is affected by you dying your hair or washing it.. some treatments may cause the hair shaft to break or split but because you are dyeing, washing or straightening dead hair (the only part that is living, is the part of your hair that is inside the follicle, below the scalp's surface) you are not harming your hair's potential length with these habits.

A poor diet or lack of sufficient calories (or pregnancy) will alter or interrupt the normal hair cycle, those are things that affect the root of your hair (the follicle).

Nothing you put ON your hair will make it grow longer (past its potential) or faster.

I just went to the Tools tab, then Foods & Recipes, then put "easy" in the search bar.

Here you go... http://caloriecount.about.com/cc/search.php?s earch_type=recipes&recipe_group=66&se archpro=easy&x=0&y=0 

There are over 400,000 recipes in the database here.. all entered by 
CC members so they are already calorie counted, correctly portioned and with nutrition info provided.

There are loads of ways to narrow down the search to some recipes that will suit you; cooking method, main ingredient and so on..

So you can search by ingredient instead.. if you want something with beans as a component.. just type beans in that search bar.. voila!