"You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut." ~Author Unknown

What Got Me Here: While I was watching a weight loss show (that will remain nameless), they showed a man who was going to get surgery. This man had never worked out, ate constantly, and was very, very large. This surgery was to save his life. For three days before the surgery, he had to stay on a liquid diet. Water, broths, the works. However, one night, he recorded his self crying because his family was cooking hamburgers...HAMBURGERS!? The horror! Anyway. Now, I don't mean he was sitting around thinking, "Hmm...I'd enjoy one, too bad I can't", he was really upset. Crying, sobbing, saying he wasn't ready to say good bye to food, the works. Watching this, I felt pity and a little disgusted. I thought, in all of my open mindedness, "It's just food. Get over it!" Then another thought hit me. "How am I any different?" I used to eat like I was a starving day laborer all the time and then complain about my weight mid-bite. Right then and there, I said I quit. I quit being that fat girl, that fat friend, that statistic. I quit.

I mean, I felt stupid, fat, and disgusting for letting food effect me so much. I was upset because of food, I looked the way I did (and still do) because of food. I just couldn't let it control me anymore. A week or two later, I found this site, a few weeks after that, I finally weighed myself. After picking myself out of my well of self pity, I wiped away my tears and got to work. Haven't looked back since.

My Weakness: Soda. Sweet, sweet, fizzy goodness. That, and I often feel confined to a diet and lash out. This time around, I'm eating "normally," I'm just responsible for it.

My goal?: 187. It's a lot. A hell of a lot. But I'll be alive for this time regardless, so I might as well live each day a little thinner, right? I'm not going to beat myself up for letting me get this way anymore, now, that's the gym's job. Also, in 2011, I'm going to Japan, the land of the thin. If I go there at this weight...I'll be miserable. I can't ruin this trip for me. So help a sista' out.

Goals & Rewards:

Started Weighing Myself: Early April 2009

10 Pounds: Death Jr. DS Game

                 Bought this. <3

20 Pounds: Stuffed Animal

                 It's so cute~ I love it.

30 Pounds: Smiles

                 :)

40 Pounds: A new backpack. It's pretty, and nice and I want it~

                 It was very much awesome. <3 I like it. It's like a badge of honor.

50 Pounds: Smiles

                 :)

60 Pounds: PSP

                 These things are hella expensive. I don't know when I'm ever getting one. <.<

                  Got one on sale. :D

70 Pounds: More Smiles.

                 I feel like the journey from 60 to 70 took forever~ But now I've got 80's in my sights and I'm not letting it get away! Watch your back, 80's!

80 Pounds: Smiles

                I'm just barely in the 260's. Let's hope it stays.

90 Pounds: More Smiles

                  Okay...259...I don't know if this is real or what...but I want to keep moving forward...I WILL get to 100.

100 Pounds (2/9/10): 

                                       I wanna have a party or something, cause I am super happy with this number. The big 1 0 0 . Now to tackle the other 80. :P

110: Smiles:

                Alright. Another ten down. Gotta take a deep breath and get through the next seventy.

120: Smiles

                  Before my flight to Arizona, I lost four pounds. Not sure why...But happy. :) Had to pick the middle number (got 228, 227, 229). Now on to 130. :) (And just being overweight.)

130: Smiles (6/12/10)

                I AM NOT OBESE! :D Victory for me!!!!

140: Smiles 

               Right before my trip to Japan!

150: Something good. At this point, I'll be out of the 200's. :x

160: Something else good. I will have lost what I'm supposed to weigh. Not many people can say that.

170: Smiles

180: Smiles

187 Final: Oh...It's gonna be big.

"Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork." ~English Proverb