jlg36

Posts by jlg36


User's Posts | User's Topics


Forum Topic Date Replies
The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 04 2012
01:31 (UTC)
10

@ the superbex: you are so sweet :-) Thank you !!! 

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 04 2012
01:06 (UTC)
12

@ Kikt: It was a slendid bath, thanks :-) 

 

I know you are trying to help and you are doing a good job :-) I know I should put distance in this situation, but we have always talked about the special things we would do for each other when we get married. I know there is an underlying problem but it is just hard to face. I know people outgrow friendships but it is just hard to admit that it is happening to you :-(

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 04 2012
00:00 (UTC)
14

@ kikt: I know she isn't necessary. But I would have liked her to be there  supporting me on our big day as I thought she was my best friend. 

 

*takes a deep calming breath and a bubble bath*

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 03 2012
23:43 (UTC)
16

@Hollowness: The colors are turquoise, black, and white. The other girls are wearing turquoise and the MOH is wearing black (what she chose). If the dresses were the same material  or at least style I would not have an issue but the dress she wants is a total 180 from the other girls. Gah why does this have to be stressful???  I just tried calling her twice (no answer) so I emailed her and now I am nervous!!!

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 03 2012
22:15 (UTC)
18

More to add: I totally understand her plight of being busy and broke. When I was in grad school, I took classes full-time, had a full-time (unpaid!) internship and a job. I understand and do NOT expect her to be at my beck and call. I am ok with that. I don't think I am a demanding bride and my mom is helping me anyway. I don't want my bridesmaids to have to spend a lot of money. She started planning a shower and bachelorette party for me that I warned her was to expensive. She said it was fine and booked it. A few months later, she emailed me that it was to much and she could't afford it so my mom sent her some money to help. So to be clear she has been offered plenty of financial help so it is not that. 

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 03 2012
22:09 (UTC)
19

Thanks for the advice everyone! A few things to add:

 

@ Fincharella: I will call her, but I need to calm down a bit first because I am really hurt and upset and do not want to lash out or say things I will regret. In the past, I usually do go to visit her, but I bought a house this past August and have invited her to come spend the weekend. She usually finds an excuse not to visit. I'm trying to be supportive, but at what point am I enabling her "mememe" behavior? If I dig deep down, I think she's jealous and it hurts because I have always been supportive of her :-(

@Smashley: The dress is around $130 and I offered to give her $50 to help with the price. I thought it was a little pricey but it was what the other girls picked. And honestly, your comments seem dead on. She has been distant for a while and I think she just wants to distance herself from me and doesn't know how to say it. When I try to include her in activities with my fiance and me, she finds a way to avoid it. 

 

**Sorry it took so long to reply, there is some crazy wind/rain here today that must have messed with the connection

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 03 2012
21:08 (UTC)
25
Original Post by deleseo:

Original Post by smashley23:

I would just pick a new MOH.  It sounds like she doesn't want to do it, she hasn't wanted to do it for a while, and she didn't have the balls to let you know earlier.  It would be much better to release her of this obligation and get someone who actually wants to do it, then wasting your time trying to get her to be a good MOH.  She will probably feel relieved if you get a new MOH, and if she's angry about it, then that's her problem.  She doesn't get to avoid the responsibility and then complain when she gets replaced.

^ this, for sure. if she can't/won't be supportive and cooperative, find someone else who will. it's your big day and you deserve bridesmaids who don't act like douches.

LMAO

The Lounge Bridesmaid issues Mar 03 2012
21:06 (UTC)
26

@ Feralfern: I did ask her about it and asked her why she is being so distant. That's when she went off and said I should find a new MOH. I haven't been answering her calls since then because I know I won't be able to be nice but she keeps texting me saying we need to "compromise" on the dress (i.e. me back down and let her wear whatever she wants). 

@Smashley: Good advice. I assumed that when I asked her and she accepted that she wanted to do it. We are (were?) best friends and have always talked about being in each others' weddings but I supposed things change. 

How do I diplomatically ask the MOH to bow out?

The Lounge I believe I am in the neighbors dog house... Mar 05 2011
20:53 (UTC)
1
Original Post by mrs_noel:

The OP didn't ask for advice or criticism on his drinking habits, he asked for advice on how to make things up to his wife. Drinking on your birthday is hardly a sign of an alcoholic unless there are other factors involved.

I agree that birthdays are a special time and people deserve to cut loose and have a good time. Destruction of property and blacking out are not included in just having a good time in my opinion. 

 

OP, I'm glad you made a good start in making things up to your wife. Keep it up :-)

The Lounge I believe I am in the neighbors dog house... Mar 04 2011
00:02 (UTC)
11

Have you considered attending A.A. meetings? It doesn't sound like that is typical behavior for you, but once is enough. If physical damage to yourself and the property of others (as well as the emotional hurt you caused your wife) occurs when you drink then you need to stop. It's not healthy for you or anyone around you. 

 

That being said, good luck with the groveling :-)

The Lounge Death Penalty given to Man in Connecticut Murders, What Do You Think? Nov 09 2010
23:11 (UTC)
108

I think another poster touched on this a bit already but I have a question for those of you who are 100% anti-death penalty:

 

What do you do with the individuals who continue to kill in prison? Even if they are in solitary confinement, they still have to be escorted out to be taken to medical visits and such. They still have to be served their meals. They will still have to be taken out for showers, haircuts, ect.  The security officers, doctors, nurses, mental health workers, teachers, and other inmates who come into contact with them are still in danger. What do you do with those individuals? There will always be another opportunity for them to kill. Innocent people will still be at risk around them. 

The Lounge Death Penalty given to Man in Connecticut Murders, What Do You Think? Nov 09 2010
00:40 (UTC)
186

I work in the prison system as a mental health specialist. There is no hard labor. They can get out of work duty by saying they are thinking of killing themselves or another person. They are not forced to work. They work out, eat, watch tv, sleep, go to education classes, get library books, and get visits from their families. Some of them make tons of money in prison by selling drugs and cell phones. Some steal social security numbers from other inmates and open up credit card accounts that their families use. There are some who work to better themselves (although in my experience they are few and far between) but the majority do not. 

 

There are some individuals who will never be safe in society. I believe this man deserves the sentence he got. 

The Lounge Why do tall guys always date short girls? Oct 23 2010
15:01 (UTC)
82
Original Post by suzushii:

Boo freaking hoo. Go back to Gargantua if you can't handle it :P.

 

 

 

Lol, I cracked up when I saw this. 

 

I'm short-average (5'4). I like 'em tall and that's not going change. 

The Lounge crazy people are fun to mess with Oct 16 2010
15:54 (UTC)
9

I work in mental health in the prison system. I also go along with their delusions but I also have to confront them. 

Never  tell a 6'6 400 lb lifer that perhaps he didn't really ride on an alligator's back and feed it grilled cheese sandwiches. Chances are he won't take it well. 

It's really hard to keep a straight face sometimes. 

The Lounge Preparing to move out for the first time? Sep 23 2010
00:55 (UTC)
15

1. I agree with the above. SAVE SAVE SAVE. Unexpected expenses come up all the time.

2. Take your time choosing a place. Look at several. Talk to residents or potential neighbors if possible to find out the real scoop. 

3. Live alone or have a meeting with your roommates in advance to discuss boundaries, cleaning expectations, house rules, and respect. 

4. Some kind of household fun that everyone contributes to for paper towels, cleaning supplies, condiments, ect that everyone uses. 

The Lounge birthday blues Jun 22 2010
00:44 (UTC)
12
Original Post by foxriver:

The birthday I was dreading most was my 40th birthday, it was my first as a single adult. So, instead of submitting to the obligatory, "surprise party" with friends and family and getting drunk because I hated it, I did something totally out of my comfort zone. I told everyone in advance, that I was going out of town and then.. I went on a vacation to Morocco. Never been there before, I'd never even left the country before. But I wanted to do something exotic and fabulous. Now, when I look back on my 40th birthday, I remember an amazing experience. It remains my best birthday to date.

Even if this year is another washout for you. Plan something amazing for your next birthday. It works for me!

 

That sounds amazing! I always dread my birthday too. Maybe next year I can plan an amazing trip for myself! 

The Lounge Do you let your cat outdoors? Jun 02 2010
00:27 (UTC)
59
Original Post by amh042:

Original Post by jlg36:

I live in an apartment complex and one of my neighbors (not sure which one) lets his cat outside by herself. This cat has it in for me. She teases/tortures my dog when we are walking. She leaves dead birds on my doorstep. She sits on top of my car and scratches the the paint. When I try to leave in my car and she is in the road, she will stare me down and refuse to move when I try to drive away. I have to get out of my car and chase her to get her out of the road! 

I hate that cat. She belongs inside. 

 I hate to break it to you, but this cat doesn't "have it in" for you--she's in love with you, and thinks you belong to her.  :)

I could do without so much love :-)

Don't tell my dog, he would be so jealous...

The Lounge Do you let your cat outdoors? Jun 01 2010
21:35 (UTC)
76

I live in an apartment complex and one of my neighbors (not sure which one) lets his cat outside by herself. This cat has it in for me. She teases/tortures my dog when we are walking. She leaves dead birds on my doorstep. She sits on top of my car and scratches the the paint. When I try to leave in my car and she is in the road, she will stare me down and refuse to move when I try to drive away. I have to get out of my car and chase her to get her out of the road! 

I hate that cat. She belongs inside. 

Health & Support Nosy Boyfriend May 01 2010
02:25 (UTC)
5

Whether you are in a relationship or not, you have a right to your privacy. If he persistently asks you for information that makes you feel uncomfortable to share, then let him know you aren't ready to share. It seems kind of odd that he continues to harp on it.

And I don't see this as "lying." 

The Lounge Embarrassing fear: Why my insanity? Apr 26 2010
14:56 (UTC)
11

I was terrified of sharks in the pool when I was little! It didn't help that my cousin and I were swimming at night and he turned off all the lights and left me in the pool alone...

I totally hear all of you on the shower curtain! My shower curtain is always open because one of my friends actually found an intruder hiding behind hers once! So scary (he just ran, he didn't hurt her or anything). But still.

Other fears: centipedes and people throwing up *shudders*. Even if it's fake throw up in a movie I can't deal.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Allergy Remedies
Is It Possible to Go Natural?
The side effects of allergy medications keep some people from using them. Natural remedies can be a great alternative, but some are more effective than others.